Ehezve, vabereki vanoratidza tarisiro yakadaro nerudo, tinobvuma, zvingave zvakanaka kuvateerera. Asi pese pese panopemberera vanaamai kuraira, ini ndoda kuita zvinopesana. Chokwadi?
Nyanzvi yedu ndiTatiana Pavlova, PhD muPsychology, chiremba wepfungwa anoshanda.
“Pfeka ngowani yako. Suka ndiro ipapo. Garai mudye, nezvimwewo. ” Zvingaita sekuti kubata kwakadai kunogunzva kunofanirwa kungofadza. Asi nekuda kwechimwe chikonzero ini ndoda kutaura semumwe "hongu, ini pachangu ndozviziva" kune chero mirairo yaamai vangu, sepamoyo. Mushure mezvose, isu tave vakuru kare kare uye tiri kurera vana pachedu. Sei tisingagone kumira tichitongwa? Nekuti chero mirairidzo inoita kunge inotideredza, kugona kwedu kuita sarudzo, kuita sarudzo, nezvimwe.
"Ndingadai ndine matambudziko ako." Kuderedza kukosha kwedambudziko kunoshungurudza zvakakwana munhu nekuti kunozvidza manzwiro ake. Pazera chero ripi zvaro, matambudziko epamoyo anogona kunge akakomba uye anogona kuvhiringidza nekukanganisa. Uye iyo poindi haisi mune inoenderana nedambudziko, asi mune yayo yekuzviisa pasi. Semuenzaniso, mumwe munhu haazokanganisike nekuongororwa kwakaipa kwechitarisiko chake, uye mumwe achaitwa kunetseka kwenguva yakareba.
“Wadya here? Wakanganwa here kunwa piritsi? Paunobuda kuenda kumugwagwa, chenjera! " Mibvunzo yakapusa uye inodikanwa inobatsira kwazvo kune vasipo-vane pfungwa kana vasina hanya "vana". Asi zviripo, kana vabereki vachida kusimudza yakazvimiririra yakazvimiririra munhu, saka unofanirwa kumuvimba zvakanyanya uye kumudzidzisa kurongeka kubva paudiki. Pamusoro pezvo, mibvunzo inovhiringidza inotyisa, tisingazive isu pachedu tinotapukirwa nekufunganya uku, uye tinotadza kugadzikana, kusagadzikana.
"Kana ukasvitsa makore gumi nemasere, wobva…" . Panguva ino, mwana anoenda kuburikidza nhanho yekuzviziva munharaunda yevakuru, haanzwe kunge mwana, asi munhu mukuru, akagadzirira kutora sarudzo. Vabereki zvakare vanoyeuchidza nezve zera diki revana vavo. Wechidiki anogona kutora aya mazwi sekusavimba chivimbo, vanodaro, kusvikira zera regumi nemasere risati riri munhu, akaderera. Uye chirevo ichi chinopa kuratidzira kune simba kwemukati.
"Mira, hazvisi kwauri izvozvi." Anenge angangoita makore manomwe, mwana anotanga imwe dambudziko repfungwa, chinangwa chikuru chiri kuumbwa kwenzanga "ini". Iyi nguva inowanzoenderana nekutanga kwechikoro. MuKireshi, mwana aigara uye aitaura maererano nemimwe mitemo, asi kamwe-kamwe chimwe chinhu chakashanduka, uye vakakumbira maitiro akasiyana zvachose kubva kwaari. Izvo kusvikira vanhu vakuru vachangobata izvozvi zvave kukonzera kusagutsikana: haugone kuzvibata saizvozvo, haugone kutaura zvakadaro, nezvimwe. Mwana anogona kugadzirisa nyonganiso yakadaro kana achitora muenzaniso kubva kuvabereki vake, uye haavasiire a miniti, anoteerera anoteerera, achiedza kutaura sevakaenzana. Pamusana peiyi mamiriro, chirevo "Mira, izvozvi hazvisi kwauri" zvinogona kukuvadza zvakanyanya mwanakomana kana mwanasikana, sundira kure, simbisa kunzwa kwekukosha kwako uye kusurukirwa. Izvo zvakakosha zvikuru kubva paudiki hudiki kuratidza mwana kukosha kwayo, kuteerera.
“Havana kukubvunza. Tichazviona pasina iwe. " Chimwe chirevo chakajairika chinoratidza kuti mumhuri mwana haatariswe semunhu, pfungwa yake haireve chinhu. Zvinorova kuzviremekedza uye kuzvikoshesa. Ipapo mwana anokura, asi zvivakwa zvinoramba zviripo.
"Ndakakurumidza kuenda kunoita homuweki yangu." Vabereki vanomanikidza vadzidzi vasingadi kuti vaite homuweki yavo. Mashoko acho haasi ekudzidzisa, chero mudzidzisi angati. Asi mumhuri dzine vana vane usimbe, vasina hanya neruzivo, zvinonzwika kazhinji. Asi kuwedzerwa kweshoko rekuti "nekukurumidza" kune chero kuraira kunopa kumuka kwekunakidzwa, zvisina maturo, kusagadzikana uye kuratidzira kwemukati mumweya - iwe unoda kuita zvese neimwe nzira neimwe nzira. Saka kuwanda kushivirira nevabereki uye hunyoro mumashoko - uye mhedzisiro yacho ichave yakakura.
"Usaende kwausina kubvunzwa." Mutsara uyu unogona kurova iwe pachako kukosha, kukonzera kusagadzikana uye chigumbu mumunhu asina kuchengetedzeka. Nenzira, mazwi akadaro anogona kunzwikwa kwete chete mumhuri pakati pevabereki nevana, asiwo mudenderedzwa reshamwari, muboka rebasa. Pamusoro pehutsinye, hapana chinhu mune uku kutaura, bvisa chirevo, kunyangwe kana iwe wajaira kuchinzwa kubva paudiki.
“Usaite nenjere!” Semutemo, chirevo chinovhiringidza, nekuti kazhinji isu tinonyatsoda kubatsira, tinoedza kupa kuraira kwakanaka, uye kwete kuratidza kwedu kuziva. Vanokunda ndevaya vabereki avo, kubva paudiki, vanoona hunhu mumwana uye vanoteerera neruremekedzo maonero ake.
"Ndine matambudziko mazhinji iwe usipo, uye iwe…"… Mazwi anounza mhosva isina zvibereko. Mwana haanzwisise kuti sei ari kurangwa nekuramba kutaurirana naye, uye anonyatsonzwa mhosva iyi. Isu tinonzwisisa kuti mutsara unotaura nezve mamiriro ekutya, kuwedzera simba, kusimba kwemukurukuri. Kunyangwe zviome sei, vakuru vanofanirwa kugona kudzora manzwiro avo uye kwete kuvakanda kunze kune vadikanwa.