"Usandisvota!": Matanho mashanu ekurukurirano ine rugare nemwana

• "Usadanidzira! Kana ukapopota ndinokusiya pano"
• “Sei wasimuka sebenzi! Anoteerera shiri ... Nekukurumidza, kwaakataura!
• "Nyarara! Gara wakanyarara kana vakuru vachitaura »
• "Tarisa hanzvadzi yako, anozvibata, kwete sewe!"

Tinowanzonzwa mashoko aya mumugwagwa, muchitoro, mune cafe, sezvo vabereki vakawanda vanoarangarira kuva rutivi rwenguva dzose rwomuitiro wedzidzo. Hongu, uye dzimwe nguva isu pachedu hatizvidzori, tichipopota uye tichigumbura vana vedu. Asi isu hatina kuipa! Tinovada chaizvo. Hachizicho chinhu chikuru here?

Sei tichiputsa

Pane tsananguro dzakawanda dzemaitiro aya:

• Sangano re-post-Soviet ndiro rine mhosva nokuda kwemaitiro edu, ayo anosiyaniswa nekuvenga vana "vasina kunaka". Isu tinoedza kujairana nenyika yakatitenderedza uye kusangana nezvainotarisira, saka, tichiedza kutaridzika zvakanaka, tinorovera mwana wedu. It's safe than kusvirana nababamunini vemumwe munhu vanokanda ziso kwatiri.
• Vamwe vedu tinogona kunge tisina vabereki vakanaka, uye nekusaziva tinobata vana vedu nenzira yatakabatwa nayo. Sezvinei, takararama uye takakura sevanhuwo zvavo!
• Seri kwekushevedzera kusina kunaka uye mashoko ekunyomba, kuneta, kuora mwoyo uye kushaya simba kwevabereki vakakwana zvachose zvinowanzovanzwa. Ndiani anoziva chakanyatsoitika uye kangani kadiki kadiki kakasindimara kakanyengetedzwa zvakadzikama kuti zviite zvakanaka? Kunyanguvezvo, manyemwe namadiro evana muedzo wakakomba wesimba.

Maitiro edu anokanganisa mwana sei

Vanhu vakawanda vanofunga kuti hapana chakaipa nokupopota uye mashoko okutuka. Chimbofunga, amai vangu vakadanidzira mumoyo mavo - muawa vachabata kana kutenga ice cream, uye zvose zvichapfuura. Asi kutaura zvazviri, zvatiri kuita kushungurudza mwana mupfungwa.

Kupopotera mwana mudiki zvakakwana kuti anzwe kutya kukuru, anoyambira Laura Markham, munyori webhuku rinonzi Parenting Without Whining, Punishment and Screaming.

“Apo mubereki anopopotera mucheche, prefrontal cortex yavo isati yakura inotumira chiratidzo chengozi. Muviri unovhura mhinduro yekurwa-kana-ndege. Anogona kukurova, kutiza kana kutonhora muhope. Kana izvi zvichidzokororwa kakawanda, maitiro anosimbiswa. Mwana anodzidza kuti vanhu vepedyo vanomutyisidzira, uye anozopedzisira ave nehasha, kusavimba kana kusabatsira.

Une chokwadi chekuti unoda izvi? Mukuona kwevana, isu tiri vanhu vakuru vane simba rose vanovapa zvose zvavanoda kuti vararame: zvokudya, pokugara, kudzivirira, kutarisa, kutarisira. Kunzwa kwavo kuchengeteka kunoparara pose apo avo vavanotsamira chose chose pavanovavhundutsa nokuzhamba kana kuti inzwi rokutyisidzira. Tisingataure mafiripi maflops nemacuffs…

Kunyange kana isu takatsamwa tichikanda chimwe chinhu se "Waneta sei iwe!", Tinokuvadza mwana zvakanyanya. Yakasimba kupfuura zvatingafungidzira. Nekuti anoona mutsara uyu zvakasiyana: "Ini handikudi iwe, handikudi." Asi munhu wose, kunyange muduku zvikuru, anoda rudo.

Kana kuchema ndiyo chete sarudzo yakarurama?

Kunyange zvazvo kazhinji kusimudza inzwi kusingagamuchiriki, dzimwe nguva kunodiwa. Somuenzaniso, kana vana vakarovana kana kuti vari mungozi chaiyoiyo. Mhere inovavhundutsa, asi ichaitawo kuti vapengenuke. Chinhu chikuru ndechokushandura pakarepo inzwi. Danidzira kunyevera, taura kutsanangura.

Nzira yekurera vana zvakatipoteredza

Zvechokwadi, pasinei nokuti tinorera sei vana vedu, vachagara vaine chimwe chinhu chokuudza chiremba wepfungwa. Asi tinogona kuva nechokwadi chokuti vana vanoziva "kuchengeta miganhu", kuzviremekedza uye vamwe - kana isu pachedu tichivaremekedza.

Kuti uite izvi, edza kutevera matanho mashoma ari nyore:

1. Zorora

Kana iwe uchinzwa sekunge uri kutadza kuzvidzora uye wave kuda kubhuroka, mira. Enda nhanho shoma kubva kumwana uye tora mweya wakadzika. Izvi zvichakubatsira kuti udzikame uye kuratidza mwana wako maitiro ekugadzirisa manzwiro akasimba.

2. Taura nezvemanzwiro ako

Hasha manzwiro emusikirwo akafanana nemufaro, kushamisika, kusuwa, kugumbuka, kugumbuka. Nokunzwisisa uye kubvuma manzwiro edu, tinodzidzisa vana kunzwisisa uye kuzvigamuchira ivo pachavo. Taura nezvekuti unonzwa sei uye kurudzira mwana wako kuti aitewo saizvozvo. Izvi zvichamubatsira kuumba maitiro ekuremekedza kwaari uye nevamwe, uye kazhinji zvichave zvakakosha muupenyu.

3. Rega Kuzvibata Zvakadzikama Asi Zvakasimba

Hongu, vana dzimwe nguva vanoita zvinosemesa. Ichi chikamu chekukura. Taura navo zvakasimba kuitira kuti vanzwisise kuti hazvibviri kuita izvi, asi usanyadzisa chiremerera chavo. Kuzendamira pasi, squatting pasi, kutarisa mumaziso - zvose izvi zvinoshanda zviri nani pane kutuka kubva pakukwirira kwehurefu hwako.

4. Nyengetedza, usatyisidzira

Sokunyora kunoita Barbara Coloroso mubhuku rinonzi Children Deserve It!, kutyisidzirwa nezvirango zvinobereka hasha, chigumbu uye kurwisana, uye zvinoita kuti vana vasavimbe. Asi kana vakaona migumisiro yehumwe hunhu hunotevera nyevero yechokwadi, vanodzidza kuita sarudzo dziri nani. Somuenzaniso, kana iwe ukatanga kutsanangura kuti vari kutamba nemotokari, kwete kurwisana, uye chete ipapo iwe uchatora chitoyi.

5. Shandisa zvinosetsa

Zvinoshamisa kuti kuseka ndiyo inonyanya kushanda uye iri nyore imwe nzira yekupopota nekutyisidzira. “Vabereki pavanoita zvinosetsa, havatomborasikirwi nechiremera chavo, asi, pane kudaro, vanosimbisa chivimbo chomwana,” anoyeuka kudaro Laura Markham. Pashure pezvose, kuseka kunofadza zvikuru kupfuura kugwinha-gwinha nekutya.

Hapana chikonzero chezvose zviri zviviri kufadza vana uye kurayira kuteerera kusina mubvunzo kubva kwavari. Pakupedzisira tose tiri vanhu. Asi isu tiri vanhu vakuru, zvinoreva kuti isu tine mutoro kune ramangwana hunhu.