Kukwikwidzana kwevakadzi idingindira rinozivikanwa mumabhuku nemabhaisikopo. Vanoti nezvavo: "shamwari dzakapika." Uye makuhwa uye makuhwa mumapoka evakadzi zvinozivikanwa sezvinozivikanwa. Chii chinokonzera kusawirirana? Sei vakadzi vachikwikwidzana kunyange nevavanoshamwaridzana navo?
“Ushamwari chaihwo hwechikadzi, kubatana uye kunzwa kwehanzvadzi kuriko. Asi zvinoitika neimwe nzira. Isu nemararamiro edu hatifadzwi nenhamba huru yevakadzi varipo nekuda kwekuti isu "tinobva kuVenus," anodaro nyanzvi yezvepabonde uye nyanzvi yehukama Nikki Goldstein.
Anonyora zvikonzero zvitatu nei vakadzi vachiwanzova vasina mutsa kune mumwe nemumwe:
godo;
kunzwa kwekunetseka;
makwikwi.
“Kuvengana kwevasikana kunotanga vatova kumagiredhi epasi echikoro, anodaro Joyce Benenson, nyanzvi yezvemhindumupindu paHarvard University. “Kana vakomana vakarwisa pachena vaya vavasingadi, vasikana vanoratidza ruvengo rwakakwirira zvikuru, urwo runoratidzwa nemanomano nokunyengedza.”
Stereotype ye "musikana akanaka" haibvumiri vakadzi vaduku kuti vataure pachena utsinye, uye inova yakafukidzirwa. Mune ramangwana, maitiro aya ekuita anotamisirwa kune munhu mukuru.
Joyce Benenson akatsvakurudza1 uye vakagumisa kuti vakadzi vanoita zviri nani zvikuru vari vaviri vaviri kupfuura mumapoka. Kunyanya kana kuenzana kusingaremekedzwe mune yekupedzisira uye humwe hutongi hunomuka. “Vakadzi vanofanira kutarisira zvinodiwa nevana vavo uye vabereki vakwegura muupenyu hwavo hwose,” anodaro Joyce Beneson. Kana mhuri yemhuri, mukwanyina weroorano, shamwari “dzakaenzana” dzichionekwa sevabatsiri munyaya iyi yakaoma, saka vakadzi vanoona kutyisidzira kwakananga muvatorwa vechikadzi.
Pamusoro pevashandi vebasa, nharaunda yevakadzi zvakare haifarire vakasununguka pabonde uye vanokwezva pabonde vemurume mumwe chete.
Sekureva kwaNikki Goldstein, vakadzi vazhinji havadi kutsigira vavanoshanda navo vakadzi vanobudirira pabasa nekuda kwekusagadzikana kwakanyanya uye kutsamira munharaunda. Kunyanya manzwiro uye kunetseka muzvisikwa, vanowanzozvienzanisa nevamwe uye kuronga kutya kwavo kwekukundikana kwehunyanzvi pavari.
Nenzira yakafanana, kusagutsikana nechitarisiko chomunhu kunosunda munhu kutsvaka zvikanganiso muvamwe. Pamusoro pevashandi vebasa, nharaunda yevakadzi zvakare haifarire vakasununguka pabonde uye vanokwezva pabonde vemurume mumwe chete.
“Vatano zvamazvirokwazvo inowanzoshandiswa navamwe vakadzi sechishandiso chokupedza zvinetso zvakasiyana-siyana,” anodaro Nikki Goldstein. - Tsika dzakakurumbira dzinobatsira kumufananidzo we stereotypical yerunako rusina hanya, uyo anotongwa chete maererano nechitarisiko. Aya stereotypes anogumbura vakadzi vanoda kukosheswa nekuda kwehungwaru hwavo. "
Nyanzvi yezvepabonde Zhana Vrangalova kubva kuNational Institute for Development and Research muNew York yakaita ongororo muna 2013 yakaratidza kuti vadzidzi vechikadzi vanodzivisa kushamwaridzana nevanodzidza navo avo vanowanzochinja shamwari.2. Kusiyana nevadzidzi, kune avo nhamba yevanoita zvepabonde neshamwari dzavo haina kunyanya kukosha.
“Asi ruvengo pakati pevakadzi runosvika pakureba kana vava nevana, anodaro Nikki Goldstein. Mwana anofanira kubvumirwa kuchema here? Manapukeni anokuvadza here? Mwana anofanira kutanga kufamba uye kutaura pazera ripi? Yese iyi imisoro yenyaya dzinofarirwa zvikuru dzemakakatanwa munharaunda dzevakadzi nenhandare dzekutamba. Hukama uhu hunonetesa. Pachave paine vamwe amai vachashoropodza nzira dzekurera nadzo.
Kuti abvise kusava nehanya, Nikki Goldstein anorayira vakadzi kuti varumbidze mumwe nomumwe kakawanda uye vasatya kutaura pachena nezvezviitiko zvavo.
“Dzimwe nguva zvakakosha kubvuma kuvasikana vako kuti: “Hungu, handina kukwana. Ndiri mukadziwo zvake. Ndakangofanana newe.” Uye ipapo shanje dzingatsiviwa netsitsi netsitsi.”
1 J. Benenson "Kuvandudzwa kwemakwikwi evanhukadzi evanhu: Allies uye vadzivisi", Philosophical Transactions yeRoyal Society, B, October 2013.
2 Z. Vrangalova et al. “Shiri dzemunhenga? Kwete kana zvasvika pakuregera pabonde», Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2013, №31.