Mukati
Zvingaita sokuti hapana chinonyadzisa mune izvi, nokuti matambudziko anoitika kune wese. Asi kana iwe uchifanira kukumbira mumwe munhu nyasha, vazhinji vanonyara, vanounganidza ushingi hwavo kwenguva yakareba uye vanowana mazwi nekunetseka. Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Ellen Hendriksen anotsanangura kuti nei izvi zvichiitika uye nzira yekukunda nayo kuzvidya mwoyo.
Kana rubatsiro ruchidiwa, vakashinga uye vakatsunga zvikuru pakati pedu vanoita sevana vanonyara. Tinotanga kubvotomoka zvisina tsarukano, touya nezvikonzero zvakatinakira, kutsvaga zvikonzero, kana kuzvikwevera kune yekupedzisira. Mukati memwoyo yavo, munhu wose anobvuma kuti kukumbira rubatsiro kuri nani zvikuru pane kutambudzwa, asi zvakaoma sei!
Maererano nenyanzvi yepfungwa Ellen Hendriksen, tinobirwa chivimbo uye tisingataure nekutya kushanu kwakajairika. Uye zviri musimba redu kurarama nazvo, uye naizvozvo dzidza kukumbira rubatsiro pasina kukuvadza kudada kwedu.
1. Kutya kuva mutoro
Isu tinonetseka pachine nguva kuti munhu achafanira kupa chimwe chinhu kwatiri. Kutya uku kunozviratidza mupfungwa dzakaita sekuti “ane zvinomunetsa zvakakwana pasina ini” kana kuti “ane zvimwe zvakakosha zvekuita.”
Zvokuita
Kutanga, zviyeuchidze umene kuti vanhu vanoda kubetsera. Izvi hazvisi kungosimbisa zvisungo zvevanhu, asiwo zvinopa mufaro. Iyo nucleus accumbens, iyo yakanyanya primitive chikamu chehuropi, inopindura kune altruistic zviito nenzira imwechete iyo inoita kune zvepabonde uye chikafu. Kukumbira rubatsiro kunonzwika sechibvumirano chekugamuchira chipo uye zvechokwadi kuchafadza munhu wauri kutaura naye. Siya munhu wacho kuti asarudze kana akabatikana zvakanyanya kuti aite chikumbiro chako kana kuti kwete.
Chechipiri, funga kuti waizoita sei kana shamwari yako ichida rubatsiro. Sezvingabvira, waizonzwa kubatwa kumeso uye nokudisa kupa nyasha. Uye vamwe vose vanonzwa saizvozvo.
Zvakakosha kukumbira chimwe chinhu chakananga. Mutsara wokuti “Ndinogona kushandisa rubatsiro” hauna kujeka uye hauna kujeka, asi “mishonga iyi inondiita seremoni yakasvinwa, handigoni kunyange kudzika kuchitoro chegirosari” inonzwika zvakajeka uye zvakajeka. Kana shamwari yako ichida kugadzirisa mamwe ematambudziko ako, vimba nayo. Taura chimwe chinhu chakadai, "Ndinokutendai nekunetseka kwenyu. Kutaura chokwadi, ndinoda rubatsiro rwekuwacha - mushure mekuvhiyiwa handikwanise kusimudza masimbi. Unoda kuuya riini?"
2. Kutya kubvuma kuti mamiriro acho haadzoreki
Kunyanya kazhinji kutya kwakadaro kunovhara avo vanoramba matambudziko kwenguva yakareba: dambudziko muhukama, kupindwa muropa nedoro, zvichingodaro. Tinonzwa sevanhu vakundikana uye tinonyara kuti hatigoni kuzviita tiri toga.
Zvokuita
Zvechokwadi, iwe unogona kurwa iwe pachako, asi, nhamo, pasinei nekuedza kwose, kwete zvose uye kwete nguva dzose zvinogona kudzorwa nesu. Sezvaunoziva, iyo wave haigone kumiswa, asi inogona kutakurwa. Uye zvakanakisisa, kana pane shamwari iri pedyo.
Edza kuparadzanisa dambudziko kubva kwauri uye funga nezvaro sechinhu chine hupenyu. Mukweve, uye pane zvinopesana - iwe pachako uye uyo achamubatsira kukunda. Pane dambudziko, asi harisi iwe kana ani zvake. Paunenge uchikurukura nezvemhinduro, unogona kutaura kune dambudziko se "iyo". Mukurapa kwemhuri, nzira iyi inonzi "joint detachment."
Hurukuro yacho ingaenda seizvi: “Chikwereti chekadhi rechikwereti chinoda kuvharwa nokukurumidza sezvinobvira tisati tabhururuka mupombi. Izvi zvava kuda kubuda mukudzora. Ngatifungei pamwe chete nzira yekudzikisa mari."
3. Kutya kuva nechikwereti
Vanhu vashoma vanoda kunzwa vachisungirwa. Tinodavira kuti tinofanira kudzorera nebasa rakaenzana, sokunge kuti tiri kubatsirwa nevavariro dzoudyire chete.
Zvokuita
Boka renyanzvi dzepfungwa paYunivhesiti yeCalifornia rakaita chidzidzo chekutenda uye kuzvipira muhukama hwevakaroorana. Zvakazoitika kuti vakaroorana vanoonga mumwe nomumwe kunyange nerubatsiro ruduku (kwete nokuti vanofanira, asi nokuti vanoda) kunakidzwa uye vanopopotedzana kakawanda. “Sezviri pachena, kuonga ndiyo kiyi yeroorano inofadza,” vanyori vanogumisa kudaro.
Kutanga, funga kuti ndiani waunogona kutaura naye. Kana uchiziva kuti munhu haadi kutamba aine mhosva uye haadi kunyengedzwa, tsvaga mumwe munhu. Kana vachibatsira netsitsi uye nekuisa mamiriro mazhinji, ibasa. Kana vachibatsira nechido uye pasina mibvunzo, ichi chipo.
Ngatitii chikumbiro chako chatozadzikiswa. Tsiva pfungwa yebasa («Ndine chikwereti naye!») Manzwiro ekutenda («Anoteerera!»). Kana panguva imwechete iwe uchinzwisisa kuti unoda (uye haufaniri) kuita chimwe chinhu chakanaka kumunhu, ita. Asi kazhinji, mushure mekunge wabatsirwa, zvakakwana kungotaura kuti: “Ndinokutendai! Ndinokutendai zvikuru!”
4. Kutya kuita seusina simba (murombo, benzi, benzi ...)
Kazhinji hatikumbire rubatsiro tichitya kuzofungwa zvakaipa pamusoro pedu.
Zvokuita
Ipa dambudziko rako semukana wekubvunzana nenyanzvi, uye iwe pachako semhizha yakangwara inoda maturusi akavimbika.
Rangarira waunofunga kuti inyanzvi. Pamwe hama yako ichangobva kuongororwa uye inogona kukuudza zvakadzama nezve mammogram inokutyisa iwe zvakanyanya. Zvichida mudiki ane njere anogara padyo nepedyo anogona kubatsira kuvandudza yako saiti ine urombo. Chero zvazvingava, bata vanhu sevashandi vane ruzivo - nditende ini, ivo vachafara.
Somuenzaniso: “Ndinoyeuka nguva yokupedzisira yawakanga uchitsvaka basa, wakadanwa kubvunzurudzo dzinoverengeka panguva imwe chete. Une tarenda chete! Ndiri kunetsekana netsamba yekuvhara. Unogona here kutarisa mifananidzo yangu uye kundipa mamwe mazano?" Shandisa mashoko okuti: “Munogona kundiratidza here?”, “Munogona kutsanangura here?”, “Mungandipawo here maonero enyu?”, “Handina kuita izvi kwenguva yakareba kudaro, mungandiyeuchidza here?”.
5. Kutya kurambwa
Vapiswa nemukaka, vanofuridzira pamusoro pemvura, handizvo here? Pane munhu akakurambira here pawaiva mudambudziko? Kana iwe uchiri kuyeuka iyo yekufananidzira "kupfira kumeso", hazvishamisi kuti iwe haudi kuedza kutsva kukumbira rubatsiro.
Zvokuita
Kutanga, edza kushandura mafungiro ako kune chidzidzo chinorwadza ichocho. Chii chaiva chikonzero chekuramba - mauri kana mune vamwe vanhu? Zvinosuruvarisa, vamwe vanhu havana tsitsi. Vamwe vanotya, "zvisinei nezvinoitika." Vamwe vanongozvifunga ivo pachavo. Kurambwa hazvirevi kuti pane chakaipa pauri. Zvingangodaro kuti vaya vawaida kuvhiringidza vane matambudziko. Usaore mwoyo. Kana chikumbiro chacho chakarurama, mumwe munhu achachipindura.
Zvakare, nguva inotevera yaunoda rubatsiro, shandisa nzira yedecatastrophe. Fungidzira kuti kutya kwakaitika: iwe wakaudzwa "kwete". Zvakaipa sei izvozvo? Zvinhu zvese zvatonyanya kuipa here? Zvingangodaro, "kwete" zvinoreva chete kuti nzvimbo yako haina kuchinja.
Kana uchiri kutya kurambwa, bvuma kuti usanetseka. Chero munhu akangwara achanzwisisa mamiriro ako uye achakubata netsitsi. Semuenzaniso: "Ndiri kunyara, asi zvakadaro - ndinogona kukumbira nyasha?"
Kukumbira rubatsiro hakusi nyore, asi zvakakosha. Chinhu chikuru ndechokupa nekuchigamuchira nekutenda. Funga nezvazvo karma. Funga kubhadhara mberi. Funga kuti iyi mupiro kune common treasury yezvakanaka.
NezveMunyori: Dr. Ellen Hendriksen inyanzvi yezvepfungwa uye nhengo yefekisheni muStanford University Chikoro cheMishonga.