Mukati
“Nguva dzose tinofanira kutsvaka zvikonzero zvokusabereka kwedu ndokutsanangura chisarudzo chedu kuvamwe kana kuti kunyange kwatiri timene,” varoorani vasingarongi kuwedzera mhuri dzavo kazhinji kazhinji vanobvuma kudaro. Zvechii? Chimwe chezvikonzero zvekumanikidzira zvikonzero zviri mune zvakaipa stereotypes pamusoro pekusava nemwana.
Mudzimai wangu neni takatanga mhuri kare zvikuru kupfuura vazhinji vevazivikanwi vedu: Ndakanga ndine makore 21 okukura, iye akanga ane 20. Takanga tichiri kukoreji ipapo. Makore mashoma gare gare, isu takanga tisina vana - apa takatanga kugara tichinzwa zvirevo uye fungidziro izvo vamwe vanowanzovaka nezve vakaroorana vasina vana.
Vamwe vaiti upenyu hwedu huchiri kuoma kufunga kuti hwakakwana, nepo vamwe vaiitira shanje rusununguko rwedu pachena. Seri kwepfungwa dzakawanda, kwaiva nechivimbo chokuti vose vasingakurumidzi kuva nevana vanhu vane udyire vanongofunga nezvavo chete.
Ndakakurukura nyaya iyi nemunyori wenhau dzakaitika Rachel Hrastil, munyori weHow to Be Childless: The History and Philosophy of Life Without Children. Tawana mamwe mafungiro asina kunaka pamusoro pevaroora vasina vana izvo zvisinganyatso kutsigirwa nehumbowo hwesainzi.
1. Vanhu ava vanoshamisa
Kushaya vana kunowanzoonekwa sechinhu chisingawanzoitiki uye chisina kujairika. Zvingaita sekuti nhamba dzacho dzinosimbisa: vana ndivo (kana kuti vachava) ruzhinji rwevanhu vanogara panyika. Zvakadaro, zvakaoma kudaidza mamiriro ezvinhu aya kuti akashata: kune vanhu vazhinji vasina vana kupfuura isu tinofunga.
“Inenge 15 muzana yevakadzi muUnited States inosvika zera ramakore 45 vasina kuva vanaamai, zvichida nokuzvidira kana kuti nemhaka yokuti havagoni kubereka,” anodaro Rachel Hrastil. — Izvi zvingangoita mukadzi mumwe chete pavanomwe. Sezvineiwo, kune vashoma vanhu vaneruboshwe pakati pedu. "
Mune dzimwe nyika, dzakadai seGermany neSwitzerland, mwero yokushaya vana yakatokwira zvikuru, iri pedyo nereshiyo ye1:4. Saka kushaiwa mwana hakusi kushoma, asi kunowanzoitika.
2. Vanozvida
Muhuduku hwangu, ndaiwanzonzwa kuti “kuva mubereki ndiwo mushonga woudyire.” Uye nepo vanhu vose ava vakakodzera, vabereki, vachingofunga bedzi pamusoro pegarikano yavamwe (vana vavo), ndichiri kumirira kuti ndiporeswe paudyire hwangu. Ini ndinokahadzika kuti ndakasiyana nenzira iyi.
Ndine chokwadi kuti munoziva vabereki vakawanda vanozvida. Pamwe chete nevaya vasina vana, asi avo, zvechokwadi, vanogona kunzi vane mutsa uye vane rupo. Mukuru ane udyire, kune rumwe rutivi, sezvingabvira zvikuru angava mubereki ane udyire, zvimwe achizvisimbisa amene nokurasikirwa kwavana vake kana kuti kuyemura kurangarira kwake amene mavari. Saka kupomerwa uku kunobvepi?
Kurera vana ibasa rakaoma chaizvo, uye kune vazhinji vedu hazvisi nyore kugona basa remubereki.
Vanababa navanaamai vanosanoziva kuzvipira kwavo vamene vangafunga kuti vasina mwana havazivi kuti zvinorevei kupa nguva yavo nesimba kuvamwe. Asi kuva mubereki hakusi chinhu chinodiwa kana kuti chimiro chakakwana chekubiridzira egoism. Pamusoro pezvo, kune dzimwe nzira dzakawanda dzekusanyanya kuzvifunga, senge kuburikidza neshumiro ine musoro, rudo, kuzvipira.
3. Maonero avo chibereko chekufamba kwevakadzi
Kune chitendero chakakurumbira chakadaro: munhu wose aiva nevana kusvikira nzira dzekudzivirira pamuviri dzagadzirwa uye vakadzi kwose kwose vakatanga kuenda kubasa. Asi Chrastil anoti vakadzi munhoroondo yose vakasarudza kuita vasina vana. “Piritsi racho rakachinja zvikuru,” anodaro, “asi kwete sezvatinofunga.”
Kare muma1500 munyika dzakadai seBritain, France neNetherlands, vanhu vakatanga kumisa kuroorana uye kuroorana ava pedyo nemakore 25-30. Inenge 15-20% yevakadzi havana kuroora zvachose, kunyanya mumaguta, uye vakadzi vasina kuroorwa, sekutonga, vakanga vasina vana.
Munguva yeVictorian, kunyangwe avo vakaroora vaisave nevana. Vaivimba nemitoo yokudzora kubereka yakanga iripo panguva iyoyo (uye pamwero wakati waibudirira).
4. Hupenyu hwavo hahuvaunzi kugutsikana.
Vazhinji vanotenda kuti humai / hubaba ndiyo musimboti, chirevo chikuru chekuvapo. Kazhinji, avo vanofara chaizvo uye vanozviona ivo pachavo muubereki kusvika pazere vanofunga kudaro. Mukuona kwavo, vasina mwana vari kurasikirwa neruzivo rwakakosha muupenyu uye kutambisa nguva yavo nezviwanikwa zvehupenyu.
Hapana humbowo hunogutsa hunoratidza kuti vabereki vanogutsikana neupenyu kupfuura vasiri vabereki. Kuva nevana kunogona kuita kuti upenyu hwako huve nechinangwa, asi kwete kuti hubudirire. Uye kana iwe uine vana vari pasi pevashanu kana vechidiki, saka iwe unotonyanya kufara kupfuura mhuri dzisina vana.
5. Vanowanzova vakasurukirwa uye nhamo yemari muukweguru.
Kuva nevana kunovimbisa kuti mumwe munhu achatichengeta kana tachembera here? Uye kushaya mwana zvinoreva here kuti tichachembera tega? Chokwadi kwete. Tsvagiridzo inoratidza kuti kuchembera idambudziko chairo kune vanhu vazhinji kana zvasvika kune zvemari, hutano uye hwemagariro (mu) chengetedzo. Asi kune vasina mwana, matambudziko aya haasati anyanya kuoma kupfuura vamwe vose.
Vakadzi vasina vana vanowanzova nani pane vanaamai vavo vezera rimwe chete, sezvo vachishanda zvakanyanya uye vaine mari shoma
Uye basa rekuvaka nekuchengetedza hukama hwehukama mukukwegura rinomuka pamberi pemunhu wese, zvisinei nechimiro chake semubereki / asina mwana. Vana vakuru vanogara muzana ramakore rechi XNUMX vachiri nezvikonzero zvakawanda zvekusachengeta vabereki vavo vakura.
6. Havabatanidzwi mukuenderera mberi kwerudzi rwevanhu.
Basa rekubereka rinoda zvakawanda kubva kwatiri kupfuura kuberekwa kwevana. Semuenzaniso, kugadzirisa matambudziko emagariro uye ezvakatipoteredza kana kugadzira mabasa eunyanzvi anounza runako uye zvinoreva kuvapo kwedu. “Ndinovimba kuti mano angu, simba rangu, rudo uye chido zvandinounza pabasa zvinogona kuchinja upenyu hwako nehwevamwe vabereki,” anodaro Chrastil.
Hazvina maturo kutaura, munhoroondo yose kwave kune uye kune vanhu vasingaverengeki vakaita zvipo zvakatanhamara kutsika uye vakanga vasiri vabereki: Julia Mwana, Jesu Kristu, Francis Bacon, Beethoven, Amai Teresa, Nicolaus Copernicus, Oprah Winfrey - rondedzero inoenderera mberi. Pakati pevanhu vanorera vana uye vasina kujairana neubereki, pane hukama hwepedyo, hunenge hwehukama. Tese tinonyatsoda mumwe nemumwe, Rachel Hrastil anopedzisa.
Pamusoro pemunyori: Seth J. Gillihan inyanzvi yekuziva maitiro epfungwa uye mubatsiri wepurofesa wepfungwa paYunivhesiti yePennsylvania. Munyori wezvinyorwa, zvitsauko zvebhuku pamusoro peCognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), uye muunganidzwa wemachati ekuzvibatsira kubva pamisimboti yeCBT.