Avo vanotambura nezvirwere zvisingaperi vanowanzomanikidzwa kuvanza marwadzo nezvinetso shure kwemasikisi ehutano hwakanaka. Inogona kushanda sedziviriro kubva pakuda kuziva kusingadiwi, kana kuti inogona kukuvadza - zvese zvinoenderana nemapfekero aunoita, anodaro psychotherapist Kathy Veyrant.
Kathy Wyrant, chiremba wepfungwa uye mushandi wezvemagariro evanhu, anogara muAmerica, zvinoreva kuti, kufanana nevamwe vakawanda, ari kugadzirira kupemberera Halloween. Dzimba dzakashongedzwa, vana vari kugadzirira zvipfeko zvema superheroes, skeletons uye zvipoko. Kupemha maswiti kwava kuda kutanga - trick-or-treat: manheru e31 Gumiguru, makambani akaburitswa anogogodza padzimba uye, sekutonga, anogashira masiwiti kubva kuvaridzi vachinyepedzera kutya. Zororo rave rakakurumbira muRussia zvakare - zvisinei, isu tinewo tsika dzedu dzekupfeka masquerade.
Sezvaanotarisa vavakidzani vake vadiki vachiyedza zvitarisiko zvakasiyana, Cathy anotendeukira kune yakakomba nyaya, achienzanisa kupfekedzwa kwezvipfeko nemasiki emagariro. "Vanhu vazhinji vanotambura nezvirwere zvisingaperi, mukati mevhiki uye pazororo, vanopfeka "sutu yehutano" yavo vasina kubvisa.
Hunhu hwake hukuru ndeye make-up uye mask inovanza chirwere. Varwere vasingaperi vanogona kuratidza nemafambiro avo ose kuti zvinhu zvose zvakarongeka, vachiramba kuoma kwechirwere kana kunyarara pamusoro pemarwadzo, edza kusasara shure kweavo vakavapoteredza pasinei nemamiriro avo uye hurema.
Dzimwe nguva sutu yakadaro inopfekwa nekuti inobatsira kuti irambe yakanyura uye kutenda kuti zvinhu zvese zvakarongeka. Dzimwe nguva - nokuti munhu haana kugadzirira kuzarura uye kugovera ruzivo rwemunhu pachake ane chokuita nehutano. Uye dzimwe nguva - nekuti tsika dzenzanga dzinoraira kudaro, uye varwere havana sarudzo kunze kwekutevedzera.
kumanikidzwa neruzhinji
“Vazhinji vevatengi vangu vane chirwere chisingaperi vanotya kushungurudza shamwari dzavo nevadiwa. Vane pfungwa yakasimba yokuti vacharasikirwa nehukama nekuratidzira pasina "sutu yekugara zvakanaka" kune vamwe vanhu, "anogovera Katie Wierant.
Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Judith Alpert anotenda kuti kutya rufu, kurwara uye kukuvadzwa kwakadzika mutsika dzekuMadokero: “Tinoita zvese zvatinogona kuti tidzivise zviyeuchidzo zvekusasimba kwevanhu uye kufa kusingadzivisiki. Vanhu vane zvirwere zvisingaperi vanofanira kuzvidzora kuitira kuti vasatengesa mamiriro avo nenzira ipi zvayo.
Dzimwe nguva murwere anomanikidzwa kutarisa vanhu vanokosha vachinyangarika kubva muupenyu hwake, nokuti havana kugadzirira kutsungirira manzwiro avo akaoma anomuka pakuona kutambura kwake. Kuora mwoyo kwakadzika kunounza murwere uye kuedza kuzarura, mukupindura kwaanonzwa chikumbiro chekusataura nezvehutano hwake. Saka hupenyu hunogona kudzidzisa munhu kuti zviri nani kusabvisa mask "I'm fine" zvachose.
"Ita, ita zvakanaka!"
Mamiriro ezvinhu haadzivisiki kana zvisingabviri kuvanza mamiriro ako, somuenzaniso, apo munhu anoguma muchipatara kana kuti pachena, zvinoonekwa kune vamwe, anorasikirwa nemasimba emuviri. Zvinoita sekuti ipapo nzanga haichatarisiri kuti "sutu yekugara zvakanaka" icharamba ichivanza chokwadi. Zvisinei, murwere anotarisirwa kuti abve apfeka mask ye "heroic sufferer".
Murwere ane gamba haambonyunyuti, anotsungirira matambudziko akanyarara, anoita majee apo marwadzo acho asingatsungiririki, uye anofadza avo vakamupoteredza nemafungiro akanaka. Uyu mufananidzo unotsigirwa zvakasimba nenzanga. Maererano naAlpert, "uyo anotsungirira kutambura achinyemwerera anokudzwa."
Iyo heroine yebhuku "Vakadzi Vadiki" Beth muenzaniso wakajeka wemufananidzo weane gamba anorwara. Aine chitarisiko chengirozi uye hunhu, anobvuma nekuzvininipisa kurwara uye kusadzivirika kwerufu, anoratidza ushingi uye pfungwa yekuseka. Iko hakuna nzvimbo yekutya, kuvava, kushata uye physiology munzvimbo idzi dzakashata. Hapana nzvimbo yekuve munhu. Kurwara chaiko.
Mufananidzo Wakagadzirwa
Zvinoitika kuti vanhu vanonyatsoita sarudzo - kutaridzika vaine hutano kupfuura zvavari chaizvo. Zvichida, nekuratidza kukwira kwesimba, vanonzwa kufara zvakanyanya. Uye iwe zvechokwadi haufanirwe kuvhura uye kuratidza kusagadzikana kwako uye kurwadziwa kune avo vangasazvitora nemazvo zvakakwana. Sarudzo yekuti sei uye chii chekuratidza uye kuudza chinogara chiri nemurwere.
Nekudaro, Kathy Veyrant anotiyeuchidza kukosha kwazvakaita kuti ugare uchiziva uye uchiziva chokwadi chekukurudzira kwesarudzo yako. Chishuvo chekuvanza chirwere pasi pechifukidzo chezvakanaka zvinorayirwa nechishuvo chekuchengetedza zvakavanzika, kana kuti ichiri kutya kurambwa kwevanhu? Pane rutyo rukuru rwokusiiwa kana kuti kurambwa, kuratidza chimiro chechokwadi chomunhu here? Kushora kuchaonekwa mumaziso evadiwa here, vachazvibvisa here kana murwere akapera simba rokuratidza munhu anofara chaizvo?
Chipfeko chekugara zvakanaka chinogona kuva nemigumisiro yakaipa pamafungiro eiye anopfeka. Ongororo dzakaratidza kuti kana munhu akanzwisisa kuti vamwe vakagadzirira kumuona achifara chete, anotanga kuora mwoyo.
Kupfeka sutu
“Gore rega rega ndinotarisira vasikana nevakomana vakapfeka mbatya vachimhanyira pasuo rangu kunotsvaka zviwitsi. Vanofara zvikuru kuita chikamu chavo! Katie Wierant migove. Mumwe murume ane makore mashanu okukura anenge achidavira kuti anogona kubhururuka. Mutambi wemufirimu ane makore manomwe akagadzirira kufamba mutsvuku mutsvuku. Ini ndinojoinha mutambo uye ndinonyepedzera kutenda masiki nemifananidzo yavo, ndinoyemura mucheche Hulk uye ndonyara chipoko nekutya. Isu tinobatanidzwa nekuzvidira uye nekuziva muchiitiko chemhemberero, umo vana vanoita mabasa avanenge vasarudza. "
Kana munhu mukuru akataura chimwe chinhu chakadai: "Iwe hausi mwanasikana wamambo, iwe unongova musikana weimba yakavakidzana," mucheche acharamba achishungurudzika. Zvisinei, kana vana vakasimbirira kuti mabasa avo ndeechokwadi uye pasina mukomana muduku anorarama pasi pechipfeko cheskeleton, izvi zvichange zvichityisa zvechokwadi. Chokwadi, panguva yemutambo uyu, vana dzimwe nguva vanobvisa masiki, sekunge vari kuzviyeuchidza: "Ini handisi chikara chaicho, ndingori ini!"
“Vanhu vanganzwa here nezve“sutu yokugara zvakanaka” semanzwire anoita vana pamusoro pezvipfeko zvavo zveHalloween?” anobvunza Kathy Wierant. Kana yakapfekwa nguva nenguva, inobatsira kuva yakasimba, inofadza uye yakagadzikana. Asi kana iwe ukabatana nemufananidzo, avo vakakupoteredza havachakwanisi kuona munhu mupenyu shure kwake ... Uye kunyange iye pachake anogona kukanganwa kuti ndechipi chaicho chaicho.
Nezve Nyanzvi: Cathy Willard Wyrant i psychotherapist uye social worker.