Tinowira murudo neavo vanotiregeredza uye tinoramba avo vanotida. Tinotya kuwira mumusungo uyu, uye patinowira, tinotambura. Asi pasinei nokuti chiitiko ichi chakaoma sei, chinogona kutidzidzisa zvakawanda uye kutigadzirira hukama hutsva, hwekubatana.
sei uye sei "unrequited" rudo runoonekwa?
Ndinoisa shoko iri muzvinyorwa zvemashoko, nokuti, mumaonero angu, hapana rudo rusingakoshi: kune simba rinoyerera pakati pevanhu, pane polarities - plus uye minus. Kana mumwe achida, mumwe pasina mubvunzo anoda rudo urwu, anorumutsa, anotepfenyura kudiwa kwerudo urwu, kunyange kazhinji asingatauri, zvakananga kumunhu uyu: nemaziso ake, chiso, zviratidzo.
Kungoti uyo anoda ane mwoyo wakazaruka, nepo uyo «asingadi», anoramba rudo, ane zvidziviriro muchimiro chekutya kana kupinza, kutenda kusina musoro. Haanzwi rudo rwake uye chido chehukama hwepedyo, asi panguva imwechete anopa zviratidzo zviviri: anokwezva, anokwezva, anonyengedza.
Muviri wemudiwa wako, kutarisa kwake, inzwi, maoko, kufamba, kunhuwa kunokuudza: "hongu", "Ndinokuda", "Ndinokuda", "Ndinonzwa zvakanaka newe", "Ndinofara". Zvose izvi zvinokupa chivimbo chakazara chokuti ndiye "wako" murume. Asi nenzwi guru, anoti, "Kwete, handikudi."
Takura, asi hatisati tave kutsvaga nzira dziri nyore mumigwagwa yerudo.
Nzira iyi isina kunaka inobva kupi, iyo, mumaonero angu, inofananidzira psyche isina kukura: kuderedza uye kuramba avo vanotida, uye vanoda avo vanowanzotiramba?
Ngatirangarirei hudiki. Vasikana vose vaidanana nemukomana mumwe chete, mutungamiri "anotonhorera", uye vakomana vose vaidanana nemusikana akanaka uye asingapindiki. Asi kana mutungamiri uyu akadanana nemumwe musikana, akabva angorega kumufarira: “Oh, zvakanaka, iye… Anotakura bhegi rangu, anofamba pamusoro pezvitsitsinho zvangu, anonditeerera mune zvese. Weak.» Uye kana musikana akanaka kwazvo uye asingapindiki akadzorera mumwe mukomana, iyewo, kazhinji aitonhora: “Chii chakaipa naye? Haasi mambokadzi, musikanawo zvake. Ndakabatikana — handizivi kuti ndingazvibvisa sei.
Kunobva kupi? Kubva paudiki chiitiko chinoshungurudza chekurambwa. Zvinosuruvarisa, vazhinji vedu takanga tine vabereki vakaramba. Baba vakavigwa muTV: kuti vakwezve kutarisa kwavo, zvaive zvakakosha kuti zvive zvakanyanya kunakidza kupfuura "bhokisi", kuita ruoko kana kufamba nevhiri. Amai vakaneta nekusingaperi uye vakabatikana, avo kunyemwerera uye kurumbidza kwaigona kungokonzerwa nedhiyari ine zvishanu chete. Iwo chete akanyanya kunaka anokodzera rudo: vakangwara, vakanaka, vane hutano, mumhanyi, vakazvimiririra, vanogona, vadzidzi vakanaka.
Gare gare, mukukura, vapfumi, chinzvimbo, kukudzwa, kuremekedzwa, mukurumbira, mukurumbira zvinowedzerwa kune rondedzero yeavo vakafanirwa nerudo.
Takura, asi hatisati tichiri kutsvaga nzira dziri nyore mumigwagwa yerudo. Izvo zvinodikanwa kuratidza zvishamiso zvehugamba, kukunda matambudziko akakura, kuve akanakisa, kuwana zvese, ponesa, kukunda, kuti unzwe mufaro werudo. Kuzviremekedza kwedu hakuna kugadzikana, tinofanira kugara tichi "kudyisa" nezvakabudirira kuti tizvigamuchire.
Maitiro acho akajeka, asi chero bedzi munhu asati akura mupfungwa, acharamba achiibereka.
Mumwe munhu angatigamuchira sei nokutida kana isu tisingadi uye tisingazvigamuchiri? Kana tichingodiwa zvatiri, hatinzwisisi: “Hapana chandakaita. Handina maturo, handina kukodzera, benzi, ndakashata. Hapana chandaikodzera. Sei uchindida? Zvichida, iye pachake (iye pachake) haamiriri chero chinhu.
“Sezvo akabvuma kuva nevatano pazuva rokutanga, zvimwe anorara nomunhu wose,” imwe yeshamwari dzangu yakanyunyuta kudaro. “Akabva abvuma kukupfimba nekuda kwevarume vese vaakakusarudza. Unonyatsozvikoshesa here zvekuti unofunga kuti mukadzi haakwanisi kukuda at first sight orara newe?
Maitiro acho akajeka, asi izvi hazvishandure chero chinhu: chero bedzi munhu asina kukura mupfungwa, acharamba achiibereka. Chii chekuita kune avo vakawira mumusungo we "unrequited" rudo? Usazvidya moyo. Ichi chiitiko chakaoma, asi chinobatsira zvikuru pakukura kwemweya. Saka rudo rwakadaro runodzidzisei?
Chii chinogona "Unrequited" rudo kudzidzisa?
- zvitsigire iwe nekuzviremekedza kwako, zvide iwe mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma ekuramba, pasina rubatsiro rwekunze;
- kuve nenheyo, kuva muchokwadi, kuona kwete chete dema uye chena, asiwo akawanda mimvuri yemamwe mavara;
- chivapo pano uye zvino;
- tenda zvakanaka muhukama, chero chinhu chidiki;
- zvakanaka kuona uye kunzwa mudiwa, munhu chaiye, uye kwete fungidziro yako;
- gamuchira mudiwa nezvikanganiso zvose uye utera;
- nzwirai tsitsi, munzwirane tsitsi, muitire unyoro, nengoni;
- kunzwisisa zvavanoda chaizvo uye zvavanotarisira;
- tanga iwe, tora matanho ekutanga;
- kuwedzera palette yemanzwiro: kunyange kana aya ari manzwiro asina kunaka, anopfumisa mweya;
- rarama nekutsungirira kusimba kwemanzwiro;
- kuratidza manzwiro kuburikidza nezviito nemashoko kuitira kuti anzwike;
- koshesa manzwiro omumwe;
- remekedza miganhu, maonero uye rusununguko rwekusarudza kwemudiwa;
- kukudziridza unyanzvi hwehupfumi, hunoshanda, hwemhuri;
- ipai, ipai, goverai, ipai;
- kuva tsvarakadenga, mumhanyi, akakodzera, akashongedzwa zvakanaka.
Muzhinji, rudo rwakasimba, kurarama mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma ekusagadzikana, kuchakumanikidza kukunda miganhu yakawanda uye kutya, kukudzidzisa kuitira mudiwa wako zvausina kumbomboita, kuwedzera palette yako yemanzwiro uye unyanzvi hwehukama.
Asi zvakadini kana zvose izvi zvisingabatsiri? Kana iwe pachako uri wakanaka, asi moyo wemudiwa wako ucharamba wakavharwa kwauri?
Sokutaura kwakaita Frederick Perls, muvambi weGestalt therapy: “Kana musangano wacho ukasaitika, hapana chinogona kuitwa pamusoro pawo.” Chero zvazvingaitika, hunyanzvi hwehukama uye huwandu hwakawanda hwemanzwiro awakadzidza mune ruzivo rwerudo rwakadaro ndiko kudyara kwako mauri kwehupenyu. Vachagara newe uye vachakubatsira zvechokwadi muukama hutsva nemunhu anogona kudzorera rudo rwako - nemoyo, muviri, pfungwa, uye mazwi: "Ndinokuda."