Amai nemwanasikana: tsvaga chinhambwe chakakodzera

Munyaya dzengano, vasikana, vangave Snow White kana Cinderella, iye zvino uye vanosangana nerima raamai vavo, rakaiswa mumufananidzo wemukadzi wokurera akaipa kana mambokadzi ane utsinye.

Neraki, chokwadi hachina kutyisa: kazhinji, hukama pakati paamai nemwanasikana huri nani kupfuura kare - pedyo nekudziya. Izvi zvinofambiswa netsika dzechimanjemanje, zvichibvisa mutsauko pakati pezvizvarwa.

“Tose tiri matsotsi nhasi,” anodaro Anna Varga, murapi wemhuri, “uye fashoni yokungwarira inopindura izvi nokupa munhu wose maT-shirts nemateki akafanana.”

Kushambadzira kunobatsira pakufanana uku kuri kukura, kuzivisa, semuenzaniso, "Amai nemwanasikana vane zvakawanda zvakafanana," uye vachivaratidza sevanenge mapatya. Asi kuwirirana hakungounzi mufaro chete.

Psychoanalyst Maria Timofeeva anoona mukuita kwake matambudziko anobva pakuti kune mhuri dzakawanda uye dzakawanda dzine mubereki mumwe, basa rababa rinoderedzwa, uye tsika yevechidiki inotonga munzanga. Izvi zvinotungamira mukubatanidzwa kunokanganisa kuzivikanwa kwemapato ese ari maviri.

“Kuenzana,” anogumisa kudaro muongorori wepfungwa, “kunomanikidza vakadzi kubvunza mibvunzo miviri inokosha zvikuru. Kuna amai: sei kuchengetedza hukama hwepedyo uchiri munzvimbo yevabereki vako? Kumwanasikana: sei kuparadzanisa kuitira kuti uwane iwe pachako?

Kusangana kune ngozi

Hukama naamai ndihwo hwaro hwehupenyu hwedu hwepfungwa. Amai havangopesvedzeri mwana chete, ndiye mhoteredzo kwaari, uye hukama naye hukama nenyika.

"Kusikwa kwezvimiro zvepfungwa zvemwana kunoenderana nehukama uhu," anoenderera mberi Maria Timofeeva. Izvi ndezvechokwadi kuvana varume nevakadzi. Asi zviri kunetsa kuti mwanasikana azviparadzanise naamai vake.”

Uye nokuti ivo "vasikana vose", uye nokuti amai vanowanzomuona sekuenderera mberi kwake, zvakaoma kuti aone mwanasikana semunhu akaparadzana.

Asi zvichida kana amai nemwanasikana vasati vari pedyo kubva pakutanga, saka hapazovi nechinetso? Zvakapesana zvikuru. “Kushaikwa kwokuva pedyo naamai muuduku kazhinji kazhinji kunotungamirira kukuedza kutsiva munguva yemberi,” anotsanangura kudaro Maria Timofeeva, “apo mwanasikana anokura anoedza kufadza amai vake, kuva pedyo navo sezvinobvira. Sokunge zviri kuitika iye zvino zvinogona kutorwa semunguva yakapfuura ndokuchinjwa. "

Asi kunyange kuseri kwechido chaamai chekuswedera pedyo nemwanasikana wavo, kuti aenderane naye mune zvaanoda uye maonero, dzimwe nguva hapana rudo chete.

Huduku uye hukadzi hwemwanasikana hunogona kukonzera godo risingazivi muna amai. Kunzwa uku kunorwadza, uye amai vanoedzawo kuzvibvisa, vachizvizivisa nemwanasikana wavo: "Mwanasikana wangu ndini, mwanasikana wangu akanaka - uye saka ndiri."

Pesvedzero yenzanga inotapurawo gadziriro yemhuri yakaoma pakutanga. "Munharaunda yedu, hutongi hwezvizvarwa hunowanzoputsika kana kusavakwa zvachose," anodaro Anna Varga. “Chikonzero kufunganya kunovapo kana nzanga yamira kukura.

Mumwe nomumwe wedu ane hanya zvikuru kupfuura nhengo yenzanga yakabudirira. Kuzvidya mwoyo kunokudzivirira kubva pakuita sarudzo (zvose zvinoratidzika zvakaenzana zvakakosha kune munhu anozvidya mwoyo) uye kuvaka chero miganhu: pakati pezvizvarwa, pakati pevanhu.

Amai nemwanasikana "kubatanidza", dzimwe nguva vachiwana muukama uhu hutiziro hunobatsira kutsungirira kutyisidzira kwekunze. Iyi tsika inonyanya kusimba muvakaroorana vakasiyana-siyana, apo pasina chechitatu - murume nababa. Asi sezvo zviri izvo, nei amai nemwanasikana vasingafaniri kunakidzwa noushamwari hwavo?

Kudzora uye makwikwi

"Ukama mumutauro we" vasikana vaviri" vanozvinyengera," Maria Timofeeva anogutsikana. “Uku kuramba chokwadi chekuti pane musiyano wezera nesimba rekuramba pakati pemadzimai maviri. Iyi nzira inotungamira kune inoputika fusion uye kutonga. "

Mumwe nemumwe wedu anoda kuzvidzora. Uye kana “mwanasikana wangu ari ini,” ipapo anofanira kunzwa nenzira imwe cheteyo sezvandinoita uye anoda chinhu chimwe chetecho chandinoita. “Amai, vachivavarira kutendeseka, vanofungidzira kuti mwanasikana wavo anoda chinhu chimwe chetecho,” anotsanangura kudaro Anna Varga. "Chiratidzo chekubatana ndechekuti manzwiro aamai akabatana zvisingaparadzanisiki nemanzwiro emwanasikana."

Kukakavadzana kunomuka: kunyanya kushingaira kwemwanasikana achiedza kuenda, amai vanoramba vachiramba vachimudzivirira: nechisimba nemirairo, kushaya simba uye kushorwa. Kana mwanasikana ane pfungwa yekuva nemhosva uye asina zvinhu zvemukati, anorega uye anopa.

Asi zvinonetsa kuti mukadzi asina kuparadzana naamai vake avake hupenyu hwake. Kunyange akaroorwa, anowanzorambana nokukurumidza kuti adzokere kuna amai vake, dzimwe nguva aine mwana wake.

Uye kazhinji amai nemwanasikana vanotanga kukwikwidzana kuti ndiani wavo achava "amai vakanakisisa" kumwana - mwanasikana anenge ava amai, kana mbuya vanoda kudzokera kunzvimbo "yepamutemo" yaamai. Kana mbuya vakakunda, ipapo mwanasikana anowana basa remuridzi wezvokudya kana hanzvadzi yemwana wake, uye dzimwe nguva haana nzvimbo zvachose mumhuri iyi.

Muedzo uchapasa

Sezvineiwo, hukama hahusi hunotyisa nguva dzose. Kuvapo kwababa kana mumwe murume pedyo kunoderedza ngozi yekubatana. Pasinei nokupopotedzana kusingadzivisiki uye nguva dzokuva noukama hwepedyo zvikuru kana kuti huduku, vakawanda vakaroorana vaamai nevanasikana vanochengeta ukama umo unyoro nokuitirana zvakanaka zvinokunda kugumbuka.

Asi kunyange avo vane ushamwari zvikuru vachafanira kupinda mukuparadzana, kuparadzana kubva kune mumwe. Maitiro acho anogona kurwadza, asi chete anotendera munhu wese kurarama hupenyu hwake. Kana pane vanasikana vakawanda mumhuri, kazhinji mumwe wavo anobvumira amai kuti "vaite muranda" zvakanyanya.

Hanzvadzi vanogona kufunga kuti iyi ndiyo nzvimbo yemwanasikana wavo wavanoda, asi zvinobvisa mwanasikana uyu kubva kwaari uye zvinomutadzisa kuzadzisa pachake. Mubvunzo ndewokuti ungawana sei chinhambwe chakakodzera.

"Kuti atore nzvimbo yake muhupenyu, mukadzi wechidiki anofanirwa kugadzirisa mabasa maviri panguva imwe chete: kuzivana naamai vake maererano nebasa rake, uye panguva imwechete" kusazivana naye maererano neunhu hwake. ” anodaro Maria Timofeev.

“Dzimwe nguva mwanasikana anotsvaka kupopotedzana naamai vake,” anodaro Anna Varga, “kuitira kuti agumise kunyanya kufunga nezveupenyu hwake.” Dzimwe nguva mhinduro ndeyekuparadzaniswa kwemuviri, kuenda kune imwe imba, guta kana kunyange nyika.

Chero zvazvingava, vangave vari pamwe chete kana kuti vakaparadzana, vachafanira kuvakazve miganhu. "Zvese zvinotanga nekuremekedza pfuma," anosimbirira Anna Varga. — Mumwe nemumwe ane zvinhu zvake, uye hapana anotora zvemumwe asina kukumbira. Zvinozivikanwa kuti ndeapi ndima, uye haugone kuendako usina kukokwa, kunyanya kumisa yako wega mitemo ipapo.

Chokwadi, hazvisi nyore kuti amai vasiye chimwe chikamu chavo—mwanasikana wavo. Naizvozvo, mukadzi mukuru achada wake, akazvimirira parudo rwemwanasikana wake, zviwanikwa zvemukati nekunze izvo zvinomutendera kuti ararame neshungu dzekuparadzana, achichishandura kuve kusuwa kwakajeka.

"Kugovera zvaunazvo nemumwe uye kumupa rusununguko ndizvo chaizvo rudo, kusanganisira rudo rwaamai," anodaro Maria Timofeeva. Asi hunhu hwedu hwevanhu hunosanganisira kutenda.

Kutenda kwemusikirwo, kwete kumanikidzwa, asi kwemahara kunogona kuve hwaro hwekuchinjana kutsva, kwakakura uye kwakasununguka pakati paamai nemwanasikana. Uye nokuda kwehukama hutsva nemiganhu yakanyatsovakwa.