Sevana, taipomerwa kuti tine nungo — asi taisangoita zvataisada. The psychotherapist anotenda kuti pfungwa yemhosva inoiswa nevabereki uye nzanga haisi kungoparadza chete, asiwo haina hwaro.
“Pandaiva mwana, vabereki vangu vaigara vachindituka kuti ndine nungo. Iye zvino ndakura, uye vanhu vakawanda vanondiziva somunhu anoshanda nesimba, dzimwe nguva anonyanyisa. Iye zvino zviri pachena kwandiri kuti vabereki vakanga vasina kururama, "anobvuma Avrum Weiss. Murapi wepfungwa ane makore makumi mana eruzivo rwekiriniki anotsanangura dambudziko rinowanzoitika nemuenzaniso wake.
“Ndinofunga vaiti husimbe kushaikwa kwechido chebasa randaifanira kuita. Nhasi ndakura zvokukwanisa kunzwisisa vavariro dzavo, asi somukomana, ndakaziva zvakasimba kuti ndaiva nungo. Izvi zvakagara mumusoro mangu kwenguva refu. Hazvishamise kuti ndakavatsigisa ongororo yavo nekushandisa nguva yangu yese yeupenyu ndichizvisimbisa kuti handisisimbe,” anodaro.
Mubasa rake se psychotherapist, Weiss haamboregi kushamiswa nenzira dzakasiyana-siyana dzinotungamirira vanhu kuzvitsoropodza zvakanyanya. “Handina kungwara zvakakwana”, “zvinhu zvose hazvina kunaka nokuda kwangu”, “Handigoni kuzvibata” zvichingodaro. Kazhinji kazhinji unogona kunzwa uchipomerwa iwe pachako nokuda kwehusimbe.
Chipo chebasa
Usimbe ndiyo huru inopomera rusarura mutsika. Avrum Weiss anonyora nezve America, "nyika yemukana" ine chinamato chekushanda nesimba izvo zvinofungidzirwa kuti zvingaita kuti chero munhu ave mutungamiri wenyika kana kuita miriyoni. Asi mafungiro akafanana nezvebasa akajairika nhasi munyika dzakawanda.
MuUSSR, kwaive kukudzwa kuzadzisa uye kudarika chirongwa uye kupfuudza "chirongwa chemakore mashanu mumakore mana". Uye mumakore makumi mapfumbamwe, nzanga yeRussia yakakamurwa zvakanyanya kuva avo vakaodzwa mwoyo mukugona kwavo uye tarisiro, uye vamwe vane basa nekushanda nesimba zvakavabatsira "kusimuka" kana kuti kuramba vakayangarara.
Mafungiro ekuMadokero anotsanangurwa naWeiss uye kutarisa kwekubudirira kwakakurumidza kudzika midzi mutsika dzedu - dambudziko raakatsanangura rinozivikanwa nevakawanda: "Kana iwe usati wabudirira mune chimwe chinhu, imhaka yekuti hausi kuisa mukuedza kwakakodzera."
Zvose izvi zvakapesvedzera chokwadi chokuti tinotonga vamwe uye isu pachedu nokuda kwokuva nousimbe kana ivo kana kuti tikasaita zvatinofunga kuti tinofanira kuita.
Semuenzaniso, bvisa zvinhu zvechando, suka ndiro kana kubvisa marara. Uye zvinonzwisisika kuti sei tichitonga vanhu nekusazviita - shure kwezvose, tinoda kuti vazviite! Vanhu rudzi rwemadzinza, vachiri kugara mune dzimwe nharaunda dzakafanana. Upenyu munharaunda huchava nani kana munhu wese akagadzirira kuita mabasa ake kuitira kubatsira vamwe, kunyangwe kuburikidza ne "Handidi".
Vanhu vashoma kwazvo vangada kuchenesa marara kana tsvina - asi chinhu chakanaka kunharaunda chinoda kuitwa. Saka vanhu vari kutsvaga imwe nzira yemuripo kuti mumwe munhu atore mabasa asingafadzi aya. Kana muripo usina kukwana kana kuti usingachashandi, tinosimudza nhoko dzezvironda toenderera mberi nekunyadzisa veruzhinji, tichimanikidza vanhu nenyadzi kuti vaite zvavasingade kuita zvachose.
Kushora pachena
Iyi ndiyo nzira iyo, maererano naWeiss, vabereki vake vakamumanikidza kuti awedzere kubishaira kwake. Mwana anokodzera kutonga kwevabereki uye anozviita kwake. Uye munharaunda, tinotiwo vanhu vane nungo nekuti havaite zvatinoda kuti vaite.
Kushanda kunoshamisa kwekunyara ndekwekuti inoshanda kunyangwe pasina ari pedyo arikupuruzira nzeve yako: “Simbe! Simbe!» Kunyange kana pasina munhu aripo, vanhu vanozozvipa mhosva kuti vane nungo yekusaita zvavanofunga kuti vanofanira kuita.
Weiss anoratidza zvakanyanya kufunga nezvechirevo chakadzama: "Hapana chinhu chakadai sousimbe." Chatinodaidza kuti husimbe ingori yepamutemo zvachose yekutaura kwevanhu. Vanova zvinhu zvokupomerwa, vanonyadziswa pamberi pavanhu nokuda kwezvavasingadi kuita.
Asi munhu anozviratidza nezviito - kuita zvaanoda uye kwete kuita zvaasingadi.
Kana munhu achitaura nezvechido chake chekuita chimwe chinhu, asi asingachiiti, tinoti husimbe. Uye kutaura zvazviri, zvinongoreva kuti haadi kuzviita. Tinganzwisisa sei izvi? Hongu, nokuti haadaro. Uye kana ndaida, ndaizodaro. Zvose zviri nyore.
Semuenzaniso, mumwe munhu anoti anoda kuderedza uremu obva akumbira imwe dessert. Saka haasati agadzirira kuderedza uremu. Anonyara pamusoro pake kana kunyadziswa nevamwe - iye "anofanira" kuzvida. Asi maitiro ake anoratidza pachena kuti haasati agadzirira izvi.
Isu tinotonga vamwe kuti vane nungo nekuti tinofunga kuti hazvitenderwi munzanga kusada zvavanofanira kuda. Uye somuuyo, vanhu vanonyepedzera kuti vanoda icho chinorangarirwa kuva chakarurama chokushayiwa, uye vanopomera kusaita kwavo nokuda kwousimbe. Denderedzwa rakavharwa.
Ese aya masystem akanyatso "sonewa" mumisoro yedu. Asi, zvichida, kuziva nezvemaitiro aya kuchatibatsira kuti tive vakatendeseka kwatiri, kunzwisisa zviri nani uye kuremekedza zvido zvevamwe.