Munhu wese anonzwisisa izwi iri nenzira yake. Vamwe vanodavira kuti ichi ndicho chimiro chechisikigo chevanhu vane rudo, vamwe kuti ichi chinhu chisina kunaka uye chinoparadza. Psychotherapist Sharon Martin anobvisa ngano dzakajairwa zvine hukama neiyo pfungwa.
Ngano yekutanga: codependency inoreva kubatsirana, kunzwa uye kuteerera kune mumwe wako
Panyaya yekubatana, hunhu hwese hunoyemurika hunovanza, chekutanga, mukana wekusimudza kuzviremekedza uchirasikirwa nemudiwa. Vanhu vakadaro vanogara vachikahadzika kukosha kwebasa ravo uye, pasi pechifukidziro chinonzwisisika chekutarisira, vari kutsvaga uchapupu hwokuti vanodiwa uye vanodiwa.
Rubatsiro nerutsigiro rwavanopa kuedza kudzora mamiriro uye kufurira mudiwa. Nokudaro, vanorwisana nekusagadzikana kwemukati uye kufunganya. Uye kazhinji vanoita mukukuvadza kwete ivo chete - shure kwezvose, vakagadzirira kudzikamisa nehanya mumamiriro ezvinhu iwayo kana zvisingadiwi.
Mudiwa angada chimwe chinhu - somuenzaniso, kuva oga. Asi kuratidzwa kwekuzvimirira uye kukwanisa kwemumwe wako kugadzirisa ivo pachavo kunonyanya kutyisa.
Nhema mbiri: izvi zvinoitika mumhuri umo mumwe wevanofambidzana anotambura nekupindwa muropa nedoro
Iyo chaiyo pfungwa yekodhi yakanyatsomuka pakati pevanodzidza nezvepfungwa mukuita kudzidza mhuri umo murume anotambura nekudhakwa, uye mukadzi anotora basa remuponesi uye akabatwa. Nekudaro, chiitiko ichi chinodarika imwe yehukama modhi.
Vanhu vaiwanzoda kuzvimiririra vaiwanzorererwa mumhuri dzakanga dzisina ushamwari uye kutarisirwa zvakakwana kana kuti dzaiitwa chisimba. Kune avo, nekubvuma kwavo, vakakura nevabereki vane rudo vaiita zvinodiwa zvakanyanya pavana vavo. Vakarerwa nemafungiro okuda zvinhu zvakakwana uye vakadzidziswa kubatsira vamwe vasingadi zvishuwo uye zvavanofarira.
Zvose izvi zvinoumba kubatana, kutanga kubva kuna amai nababa, avo chete nerumbidzo isingawanzoitiki uye kubvumirwa vakajekesa kumwana kuti aidiwa. Gare gare, munhu anotora muitiro wokuramba achitsvaka chisimbiso chorudo kusvika akura.
Nhema #XNUMX: Ungave unayo kana kuti hauna.
Zvose hazvina kujeka. Dhigirii rinogona kusiyana panguva dzakasiyana dzehupenyu hwedu. Vamwe vanhu vanonyatsoziva kuti chirwere ichi chinovarwadza. Vamwe havazvioni nenzira inorwadza, sezvo vakadzidza kudzvinyirira manzwiro asina kugadzikana. Codependency haisi chirwere chekurapa, hazvibviri kushandisa maitiro akajeka kwairi uye hazvibviri kunyatsoona chiyero chekuoma kwayo.
Nhema #XNUMX: Codependency ndeyevanhu vasina simba-vanoda.
Kazhinji ava vanhu vane hunhu hwe stoic, vakagadzirira kubatsira avo vasina simba. Vanonyatso kuenderana nemamiriro ezvinhu ehupenyu hutsva uye havanyunyuti, nokuti vane chido chakasimba - kusarega nekuda kwemudiwa. Akabatana nomudiwa anotambura nokumwe kupindwa muropa, kungava kudhakwa kana kuti kubhejera, munhu anofunga seizvi: “Ndinofanira kubatsira mudiwa wangu. Kudai ndakanga ndakasimba, ndakachenjera, kana kuti munyoro, angadai akatochinja.” Mafungiro aya anotiita kuti tizvibate zvakatonyanya kuomarara, kunyangwe zano rakadaro rinogara richikundikana.
Nhema #XNUMX: Iwe haugone kuibvisa
Mamiriro ekubatana haapiwi kwatiri nekuzvarwa, sechimiro chemaziso. Ukama hwakadaro hunotadzisa munhu kukura uye kutevera nzira yake, uye kwete iyo iyo mumwe munhu anomanikidza, kunyangwe kana ari padyo uye anodiwa. Nokukurumidza kana kuti gare gare, izvi zvichatanga kuremedza mumwe wenyu kana kuti mose, izvo zvishoma nezvishoma zvinoparadza ukama. Kana iwe ukawana simba uye ushingi hwekubvuma hunhu hwakabatana, iyi ndiyo yekutanga uye yakakosha nhanho yekutanga kuita shanduko.
Nezve Nyanzvi: Sharon Martin chiremba wepfungwa.