Mukati
- Vabereki: Tingatsanangura sei kuwedzera kwenhamba yekuparadzana mushure mekuzvarwa kwemwana wekutanga?
- Ko varoorani vanogarisa ndeavo vakagadzirira kuberekwa, avo mupfungwa yakati “vakaibva”?
- Vaviri vanoramba vane zvimwe zvakafanana here?
- Kusavimbika kunowanzokonzera kurambana. Vakaroorana vanopedzisira havabatiki here? Kana kuti ivo vanogamuchira zviri nani aya "magapu"?
- Kana mamiriro acho akashata, nzira yekuwana chiyero?
- Chii chatinofanira kuda kuti tikwanise kugara pamwe chete? Imwe mhando yakanaka? Chisungo chakasimba kupfuura muitiro? Usaise vaviri vacho pamusoro pezvimwe zvese?
Vabereki: Tingatsanangura sei kuwedzera kwenhamba yekuparadzana mushure mekuzvarwa kwemwana wekutanga?
Bernard Geberowicz: Kuberekwa kwemwana wekutanga, gare gare kupfuura kare, kunoisa hupenyu hwenhengo dzevakaroorana pamuedzo. Kusagadzikana uku kuri mukati memunhu wese, hukama (mukati mevaviri), mhuri uye magariro-nyanzvi. Vakaroorana vakawanda zvishoma nezvishoma vanowana mwero mutsva. Vamwe vanoona kuti zvirongwa zvavo zvaisaenderana vobva vaenda zvavo. Mienzaniso yakavaka mumwe nomumwe, chokwadika, inoita basa muchisarudzo chokuparadzana. Chinhu chakanaka here kukurumidza kufunga kuparadzana semhinduro kune chero kukakavara kwehukama? Ndinofunga kuti zvakakosha kuti tinyatsofunga tisati ta “shinga” kuparadzana. Kuvhara muvakaroorana vanomanikidzirwa haisisiri kurongeka, "Kleenex" vakaroorana haisi muenzaniso wekusimudzira kana, kubva panguva iyo munhu anotora basa rekuita mwana nemumwe munhu.
Ko varoorani vanogarisa ndeavo vakagadzirira kuberekwa, avo mupfungwa yakati “vakaibva”?
BG : Tinogona kugadzirira kuva vabereki. Dzidzai kuteerera kune mumwe nemumwe, kutaura kune mumwe nemumwe, dzidzai kubvunza uye kugadzira zvinodiwa kunze kwechimiro chekunyomba. Kumisa kubata pamuviri, kubata pamuviri, kurota masikati ndiyo nguva yakanaka yekuita basa iri uye kutarisira imwe uye hukama.
Asi vakaroorana havambo“nyatsoibva” kuti vave nemwana. Zviri zvakare nekuziva mwana kuti tinodzidza kuve mubereki uye kuti tinokudziridza kuwirirana uye kuwirirana kwe "chikwata chevabereki".
"Un amour au longue cours", chinyorwa chinobaya mwoyo chinorira chokwadi
Mashoko anochengetedza nguva here? Tinogona kudzora chishuvo here? Vakaroorana vangadzivisa sei tsika yacho? Mune ino epistolary novel, Anaïs naFranck mubvunzo uye vanopindura mumwe nemumwe, vachimutsa ndangariro dzavo, matambudziko avo, kusava nechokwadi kwavo. Nyaya yavo yakafanana nedzimwe dzakawanda: musangano, muchato, vana vanozvarwa uye vanokura. Ipapo masaisai ekutanga asina kunaka, kuomerwa mukunzwisisana, muedzo wekusavimbika ... Asi Anaïs naFranck vane chombo: rutendo rwakakwana, rusingaperi murudo rwavo. Vakatonyora “Constitution of the couple”, yakaroverwa pafiriji, izvo zvinoita kuti shamwari dzavo dzinyemwerere, uye dzine zvinyorwa zvinonzwika senge rondedzero yaNdira 1 yezvekuita: Chisungo chekutanga, usashore mumwe kana akagara. chengeta mwana - Chisungo 1, musaudzana zvese - Chisungo chechinomwe, unganai manheru mamwe pasvondo, vhiki imwe chete pamwedzi, vhiki imwe pagore. Zvakare nechinyorwa chegumi cherupo: gamuchira kusasimba kweumwe, mutsigire mune zvese.
Kutungamirirwa neaya mantras ane mutsa anotsanangurwa pamusoro pemapeji, Anaïs naFranck vanomutsa hupenyu hwezuva nezuva, kuongororwa kwechokwadi, vanasikana vavo vari kukura, zvose zvatinoti "upenyu hwemhuri" uye ndiani hupenyu hupfupi. Nechikamu chayo chisingagoneki, kupenga, "kunze kwekutonga". Uye ndiani achakwanisa kubereka, asina kupfeka uye anofara, kune chido chekutanga pamwe chete. F. Payen
"Rudo rwenguva refu", naJean-Sébastien Hongre, ed. Anne Carrière, € 17.
Vaviri vanoramba vane zvimwe zvakafanana here?
BG : Handitendi kuti kune chero maitiro anogona kufanotaura hupenyu hwehukama. Avo vanozvisarudzira nekunyora zvinodiwa zvakafanana havana chokwadi chekubudirira. Avo vakararama kwenguva refu nenzira “yakavhengana” zvikuru vasati vava vabereki vari mungozi yokuvhiringidzwa nokuputika kwepupu uye nomukoto unobva pambiri kusvika kunhatu. Vakaroorana vane "zvakare" vakasiyana dzimwe nguva vanewo nguva yakaoma yekugara.
Pasinei nemamiriro ezvinhu evabereki nemamiriro ezvinhu, munhu wose anofanira kuva akagadzirira kurangarira kuti “hapana chichafananazve, uye zviri nani zvikuru!” Uyezve, kana vaviri vacho vachinzwa vakasimba (mumeso avo uye ehama dzavo nemhuri dzakasiyana), njodzi yekukonana inoderera.
Kusavimbika kunowanzokonzera kurambana. Vakaroorana vanopedzisira havabatiki here? Kana kuti ivo vanogamuchira zviri nani aya "magapu"?
BG : Nhema dzinorwadza kupfuura kusavimbika. Vanotungamirira mukurasikirwa kwekuvimba mune imwe, asiwo mukati mawo, uye naizvozvo mukusimba kwechisungo. Vakaroorana vanozopedzisira, mushure mezvo, ndeavo vanogona "kugara" nematambudziko aya, uye vanokwanisa kupora mukuvimba uye chido chakafanana chekudzorerazve muhukama. Muchidimbu, ndezvekutora mutoro wezvisarudzo zvomunhu, kuziva nzira yekukumbira uye kukanganwira, kwete kuita kuti vamwe vatakure mutoro wezviito zvavo.
Kana mamiriro acho akashata, nzira yekuwana chiyero?
BG : Kunyange kushatiswa kusati kwaitika, varoorani vanoda kuwana nguva yokukurukura nomumwe nomumwe, kutsanangura, kuteerera mumwe nomumwe, kutsvaka kunzwisisa mumwe nomumwe. Mushure mokuberekwa kwemwana, kuumbazve ukama hwepedyo hwevaviri kunokosha. Hatifaniri kumirira vhiki yezororo pamwe chete (iyo yatisingawanzotora pakutanga) asi edza, kumba, kudzivirira manheru mashomanana, kana mwana akarara, kucheka zvikwangwani uye kuva pamwe chete. Ngwarira, kana mumwe nemumwe wenhengo dzevaviri ava akashanda zvakanyanya, nenzendo dzinonetesa, uye "zvishongo zvemagetsi" zvinovabatanidza nenyika yehunyanzvi manheru nekupera kwevhiki, izvi zvinodzikisira kuwanikwa kweumwe neumwe (uye nemwana). Kuziva zvakare, kuita zvepabonde hakugone kudzokera kumusoro mumavhiki anotevera kusvika kwemwana. Mumubvunzo, kuneta kweumwe neumwe, manzwiro akatendeukira kumucheche, mhedzisiro yekuzvara, hormonal modifications. Asi kuwirirana, kuva pedyo kunyoro, chishuvo chokusangana pamwe chete chinochengeta chishuvo chiri chipenyu. Kwete kutsvaga kwekuita, kana kukosha kwekuve "pamusoro" kana pfungwa yakaipa yekudzokera ku "sezvazvaive kare"!
Chii chatinofanira kuda kuti tikwanise kugara pamwe chete? Imwe mhando yakanaka? Chisungo chakasimba kupfuura muitiro? Usaise vaviri vacho pamusoro pezvimwe zvese?
BG : Kurongeka hakusi chipingamupinyi, chero tichiziva kuti hupenyu hwezuva nezuva hune chikamu chezvinhu zvinodzokororwa. Zviri kumunhu wese kuti agone kumisa hupenyu huno nenguva dzakasimba, nguva dzekubatana, kugovana hukama. Kwete kuva nemafungiro asingasvikike, asi kuziva maitiro ekuda iwe pachako uye nevamwe. Kubatana uye kuwirirana kwakakosha. Asi zvakare kugona kuratidza nguva dzakanaka, chii chiri kufamba zvakanaka uye kwete kungokanganisa uye mhosva.