“Nei ndasarudza kupa sero rezai”
“Ndine makore 33 okuberekwa uye ndine vana vaviri. Vanasikana vangu mashiripiti. Ndinotenda kuti hapana rimwe izwi rinogona kuvakodzera zviri nani. Kuva nevana kwaiva pachena kwandiri. Kwenguva refu.
Pandakasangana newangu iye zvino makore manomwe apfuura, ndakaziva kuti ndiye aizova baba vevana vangu. Uye makore matatu nehafu gare gare, ndakabata pamuviri. Pasina kuoma. Gynecologist aibva andiudza kuti ndiri mumwe wevakadzi vaya vanongofunga nezvazvo zvakaomarara vanobata pamuviri ...
Tichiri kutenda, tichiona ava vacheche vanonyemwerera, kuti zvinhu zvose zviri nyore. Kwete, kwete nguva dzose. Mwanasikana wangu wekutanga, murume wangu akataura chirwere chakakomba. Kwete chinhu chidiki chinorapwa nekurapwa, aiwa, chirwere chinongotizirwa nezita chete. Iwe unosanganisa cancer + brain uye unowana chirwere chemwanasikana wangu baba. Mibvunzo iri kupishana mumusoro uye unoona kuti aiwa, zvese hazvisi nyore. Kushanda, chemo, radiotherapy. Vanoti apora. Mwanasikana wangu ane makore maviri nehafu. Ndakabata pamuviri zvakare, ndisingatarisiri. Ndine pamuviri pemwedzi minomwe nehafu patinonzwa kuti murume wangu ari kuramba achiita zvechisimba chaizvo. Kuvhiya kumuka. Ndine pamuviri pemwedzi misere uye handinyatsozivi kuti ndichaita here baba vari kutarisira chidhori ichi kana chabuda. Pakupedzisira achange aripo, akasungwa nebhande pamusoro wake, kuti amuone achiberekwa.
Hupenyu hahusi nyore sezvaunofunga. Tinofunga kuti tinogona kuita mwana tobva taziva kuti hatibereki. Kana kuti apo chirwere chouduku chinotidzivisa kubereka. Kana kuti gomarara rekare raita kuti tisanyanyowanda. Kana zvimwe zvikonzero zvakawanda. Uye ipapo, hupenyu hunoputsika nekuti chiroto chedu chakanyanya hachizogadzirike. Hupenyu hunoparara, ndinoziva. Saka, pashure pokunge ndava nevanasikana vangu vaviri, ndakazviudza kuti vanaamai vose ava vakanga vasingakwanisi kuita vana, zvakanga zvakaipa. Saka ndaida kuti padiki padiki ndipe mukana uyu kune mumwe wavo, kune vakawanda vavo. Murume wangu sezviri pachena haakwanisi kupa urume, asi ndakasarudza kupa zai. Ndakaita hurukuro yekutanga svondo rapfuura nanyamukuta, akanditsanangurira mafambiro emaitiro acho, mashandiro ayo, mhedzisiro yawo, modus operandi, zvese izvo, zvese izvo. “
Mukubvumirana nababa (zvinofanira kana iwe uri muukama uye nevana), Ndichapa oocyte munguva pfupi iri kutevera. Hongu, yakareba, hongu, inodzivirira, hongu, kune kurumwa (asi ini handitombotyi!) Hongu, iri kure (munyaya yangu, 1h30 drive), hongu, inogona kusiya woozy, asi izvozvo hazvisi chinhu kufa kunotiudza kuti hatichakwanisa kuita vana. Mumakore apfuura, kudiwa kwekupihwa kweoocyte kwaive kwakatenderedza 20%. Iko kumirira dzimwe nguva kunogona kutora kusvika kumakore akati wandei ...
Ndakanga ndichitaura nezvazvo mazuva mashoma apfuura neimwe shamwari yaizviudza kuti yaisakwanisa kutsungirira pfungwa yekuva nevazukuru vaasingazive. Kunyangwe ndafunga nezvazvo, handina dambudziko. Mai ndivo vanonditakura, ndivo vanondisimudzira. Kubva pakuona uku, tsika dzangu hadzichemeriri kubatsirwa. Mukuwedzera, kusazivikanwa kwakavimbiswa muFrance kunosimbisa. Ini handipe maoocyte kuti ndive nevamwe vana…
Vanasikana vangu mashiripiti. Ndinotenda kuti hapana rimwe izwi rinogona kuvakodzera. Uye ndinovimba nematauriro aya vamwe vanaamai vachazvitaurawo rimwe zuva. Icho chipo chako pachako, chipo chekuzvipira chisingatarisiri kudzoserwa, chipo chakaitwa kubva pasi pemoyo..
Jennifer