Mukati
Dzimwe nguva tinotaura mazwi kune mumwe nemumwe asingaite seanogumbura kune anopindira uye asi anogona kukuvadza. Aya ndiwo mazwi-aggressors, kumashure uko kune kutsamwa kusingatauriki. Vanokanganisa kuvimbana mune mumwe nemumwe uye zvishoma nezvishoma vanoparadza mubatanidzwa, murairidzi Chris Armstrong ane chokwadi.
"Hauna kubvunza nezvazvo"
“Nguva ichangopfuura, mumutsara wokupinda panhandare yendege, ndakaona nhaurirano yevakaroorana,” anodaro Chris Armstrong.
Ano:
“Ungadai wakandiudza.
Ndiye:
“Hauna kumbobvunza.
“Imari yakawanda. Handifaniri kukubvunza. Ndaitarisira kuti utaure."
"Pane musiyano mukuru pakati pe" haana kureva nhema "uye" akanga akatendeseka, "nyanzvi inodavira. — Uyo anochengeta manzwiro emumwe wake anozviudza pamusoro pezvinganetsa mudiwa. "Hauna kumbobvunza!" ndiwo mutsara wemutsara weanongoita zvechisimba anoita kuti rimwe divi rive nemhosva pane zvese.
"Iwe hauna kuzvitaura, asi waifunga"
Dzimwe nguva tinofungidzira zviri nyore kune vavariro uye zvishuwo zvavasina kutaura, asi, sezvazvinoratidzika kwatiri, ivo vakawana mune zvavanotaura. Anoti, "Ndaneta kwazvo." Anonzwa, "Handidi kupedza nguva newe," uye pakarepo anomupomera mhosva. Anozvidzivirira: "Handina kutaura izvozvo." Anoenderera mberi nekurwiswa: "Handina kutaura, asi ndakafunga."
“Zvichida mune dzimwe nzira mukadzi uyu akarurama,” Armstrong anobvuma kudaro. — Vamwe vanhu vanoedza chaizvo kutiza kubva pakukurukurirana nemumwe wavo, vachizvipembedza nekubatikana kana kuneta. Zvishoma nezvishoma, hunhu uhu hunogonawo kushanduka kuita hutsinye husina kuitirwa mudiwa. Zvisinei, isu pachedu tinogona kuva nhubu, tichirwadzisa rumwe rutivi nefungidziro dzedu.”
Tinodzingira mumwe wacho mukona, achitimanikidza kuti tizvidzivirire. Uye isu tinokwanisa kuita zvakapesana, kana, achinzwa achipomerwa zvisiri izvo, anomira zvachose kugovera pfungwa dzake uye zviitiko. Nokudaro, kunyange kana iwe wakarurama pamusoro pezviri chaizvoizvo shure kwemashoko emumwe wako, zviri nani kuva pachena pamusoro pezviri kukutambudza mumamiriro ezvinhu akadzikama, pane kuedza kupomera, kupa munhu izvo zvaasina kutaura.
"Handidi kuti izvi zviratidzike zvisina kunaka ..."
"Zvese zvichazotaurwa mushure meizvi, kazhinji, zvinongozove zvehutsinye uye zvinogumbura mudiwa. Zvikasadaro, ungadai usina kumunyevera pachine nguva, anoyeuchidza murairidzi. “Kana uchifanira kutanga mashoko ako neyambiro dzakadaro, unofanira kumbodzitaura here?” Zvichida unofanira kugadzirisa pfungwa dzako?
Kukuvadza mudiwa, iwe unomurambawo kodzero yekuva neshungu, nokuti wakanyevera kuti: "Handina kuda kukugumbura." Uye izvi zvinongowedzera kumukuvadza.
"Handina kumbokukumbira izvi"
“Shamwari yangu Christina anogara achiaina hembe dzemurume wake uye anoita mabasa akawanda epamba,” anodaro Armstrong. “Rimwe zuva akamukumbira kuti atore rokwe rake mumadhiraivha achienda kumba, asi haana. Mukupisa kwegakava, Christina akazvidza murume wake kuti amuchengete, uye haana kuita hanya nechinhu ichocho. “Handina kukukumbirai kuti muainise hembe dzangu,” akadaro murume wacho.
“Handina kukubvunzai” chimwe chezvinhu zvinorwadza zvikuru zvaunogona kutaura kumumwe munhu. Nekuita izvi, hausi kukoshesa izvo mumwe wako akakuitira chete, asiwo manzwiro ake kwauri. “Handikudii” ndiro shoko rechokwadi remashoko aya.
Kune mimwe mitsara yakawanda inoparadza hukama hwedu, asi nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzinoshanda nevakaroorana dzinowanzocherechedza izvi. Kana iwe uchida kutamira kune mumwe kune mumwe uye kwete kuwedzera kukakavara, rega kutuka kwakadaro. Taura nemumwe wako nezve manzwiro ako uye zviitiko zvakananga, pasina kuedza kuvhara kutsiva uye pasina kuisa pfungwa yekuzvipa mhosva.
Nezve Nyanzvi: Chris Armstrong murairidzi wehukama.