Zvakaoma kubvuma, asi vanhu vakuru vanonzwa vachifara. Victor Kagan, chiremba wepfungwa, chiremba wesayenzi yezvokurapa, anoshanda zvikuru nevakwegura uye vakwegura zvikuru, akagovera maonero ake nesu panyaya iyi.
“Pandinenge ndakura sewe, hapana chandingazodawo,” mwanakomana wangu akandiudza kudaro paakanga ava nemakore 15 uye ini pandaiva nemakore 35. mubereki ane gore. Kunyanguvezvo, pamakore 70 uye pa95, vanhu vanoda chinhu chimwe chetecho sepamakore 95. Pane imwe nguva, mumwe murwere ane makore 75 okukura akati, achitsvuka zvishoma: “Munoziva, chiremba, mweya hauchembere.”
Mubvunzo mukuru ndewekuti tinoona sei vanhu vakura. 30-40 makore apfuura, kana munhu akasiya basa, akabviswa kubva muupenyu. Akava mutoro usina aiziva zvokuita, uye iye pachake akanga asingazive zvokuita naye. Uye zvairatidza kuti pazera iroro hapana aida chinhu. Asi kutaura zvazviri, kukwegura inguva inofadza zvikuru. Happy. Pane zvakawanda zvidzidzo zvinosimbisa kuti vanhu vari mu60s uye 90s vanonzwa kufara kudarika vanhu vaduku. Chiremba wepfungwa Carl Whitaker, ari mumakore ake okuma70, akati: “Nguva yepakati nhangemutange yakaoma inonetesa, kuchembera kunakidzwa nokutamba kwakanaka: mabvi anganyanya kukotama, asi kumhanya norunako zvinongoitika uye hazvimanikidzirwi.” Zviri pachena kuti vanhu vakwegura vane tarisiro shoma uye yakanyanyisa, uye kunewo kunzwa kwekusununguka: hatina chikwereti kune chero munhu uye hatityi chero chinhu. Ndakazvitenda ini. Ndakasiya basa (uye ndinoramba ndichishanda, sezvandakashanda - zvakanyanya), asi ndinogamuchira mubairo wekunyaradza wezera rangu. Iwe haugone kurarama nemari iyi, unogona kurarama nayo, asi pandakaiwana kekutanga, ndakazvibata nekunzwa kunoshamisa - ikozvino ndinogona kukora pane zvese. Hupenyu hwave hwakasiyana - hwakasununguka, huri nyore. Kukwegura kazhinji kunokubvumira kuti uzvitarise iwe pachako, kuita zvaunoda uye izvo maoko ako asina kusvika kare, uye kukoshesa maminetsi ose akadaro - hapana nguva yakawanda yasara.
Read more:
- “Kukwegura kunogona kuva nguva inofadza zvikuru muupenyu hwedu”
Pitfalls
Chimwe chinhu ndechokuti kukwegura kune matambudziko ako pachako. Ndinoyeuka huduku hwangu - yaiva nguva yemazuva ekuzvarwa, uye zvino ndiri kurarama munguva yekuvigwa - kurasikirwa, kurasikirwa, kurasikirwa. Zvakaoma zvikuru kunyangwe nekuchengetedzwa kwangu kwehunyanzvi. Mukukwegura, dambudziko rekusurukirwa, kudiwa iwe pachako rinonzwika zvisati zvamboitika ... Hazvinei kuti vabereki nevana vanodanana sei, vanhu vakuru vane mibvunzo yavo pachavo: kutenga nzvimbo mumakuva, kuronga mariro, kufa ... Zvinorwadza vana kuteerera izvi, vanozvidzivirira: "Regai amai, muchararama kusvika makore zana!" Hapana anoda kunzwa nezverufu. Ndinowanzonzwa kubva kuvarwere: "Nemi chete ndinogona kutaura nezvazvo, pasina mumwe munhu." Isu tinokurukura rufu zvakadzikama, joke pamusoro parwo, gadzirirai.
Rimwe dambudziko rekuchembera ibasa, kutaurirana. Ndakashanda zvakanyanya munzvimbo inochengeterwa vakwegura (muUSA. – Chinyorwa cheMupepeti) uye ndakaona vanhu vandakanga ndamboonana navo ipapo. Vakabva vashaya pekuzviisa, vakagara pamba zuva rose, vachirwara, vadzima, vaine zviratidzo zvakawanda ... , mumwe munhu anodzida ikoko, anogona kutaura uye kupopotedzana - uye uhu ndihwo hupenyu! Vainzwa kuti vanozvida ivo, mumwe nemumwe, vane zvirongwa uye zvinovanetsa zvemangwana, uye zviri nyore - unofanirwa kupfeka, haufanirwe kuenda wakapfeka hembe ... Mararamiro anoita munhu chikamu chake chekupedzisira akanyanya. zvakakosha. Ndeupi rudzi rwekuchembera - kusabatsira kana kushanda? Ndinoyeuka maonero angu akasimba kubva kune dzimwe nyika, muHungary muna 1988 - vana nevakwegura. Vana vasina anokweva neruoko uye vasingatyisidzire kupa mupurisa. Uye vanhu vakuru - vakanyatsoshongedzwa, vakachena, vakagara mucafe ... Mufananidzo uyu wakanga wakasiyana kwazvo nezvandakaona kuRussia ...
Zera uye psychotherapy
A psychotherapist anogona kuve chiteshi chehupenyu hunoshanda kune munhu akura. Iwe unogona kutaura pamusoro pezvose naye, kuwedzera, anobatsirawo. Mumwe wevarwere vangu aiva nemakore 86 uye ainetseka kufamba. Kuti ndimubatsire kuenda kubasa kwangu ndakamudaidza, tiri munzira takangotaura nyaya tichibva taita basa ndikamuendesa kumba. Uye chaive chiitiko chose muhupenyu hwake. Ndinoyeuka mumwe murwere wangu, ane chirwere cheParkinson. Zvinoita sekunge, psychotherapy ine chekuita nazvo? Apo takasangana naye, iye amene aisagona kusimuka pachigaro, aisagona kupfeka bhachi, netsigiro yomurume wake nenzira yakati akabuda pabhenji. Akanga asina kwaakambosvika, dzimwe nguva vana vaimutakura mumaoko vachienda naye kumotokari ... Takatanga kushanda naye uye mwedzi mitanhatu gare gare takanga tichifamba tichitenderera imba hombe takagumbata maoko: patakaita denderedzwa kekutanga. , kwaiva kukunda. Takafamba 2-3 laps tikaita therapy munzira. Zvino iye nomurume wake vakaenda kunyika yokumusha kwavo, kuOdessa, uye, vachidzoka, akataura kuti kekutanga muupenyu hwake akaedza ... vodka ikoko. Ndakatonhora, ndaida kudziya: "Handina kumbofunga kuti zvakanaka."
Kunyange vanhu vanorwara zvakanyanya vane simba guru, mweya unogona kuita zvakawanda. Psychotherapy pazera ripi neripi inobatsira munhu kurarama nehupenyu. Usachikunda, usachinje, asi tarisana nezviri. Uye mune zvese zviri mariri - madhaka, tsvina, marwadzo, zvinhu zvakanaka ... Tinogona kuzvionera pachedu mukana wekusatarisa zvese izvi kubva kudivi rimwe chete. Iyi haisi "dumba, dumba, mira kumashure kusango, asi kwandiri pamberi." Mukurapa kwepfungwa, munhu anosarudza uye anowana ushingi hwekuzviona kubva kumativi akasiyana. Iwe hauchagone kunwa hupenyu zvakare, sepahudiki hwako, nemagirazi - uye hahudhonze. Tora sip, zvishoma nezvishoma, uchinzwa kuravira kwega kwega sip.