Nzira Yokupona Nekushungurudzwa Kwepfungwa uye Kuwira Murudo Zvakare

Sezvo vakaziva imwe modhi yehukama, vazhinji vanoidzokorora zvakare uye zvakare. Chii chinofanira kutariswa kuti usatsike paraki rimwe chete? Zano renyanzvi kune avo vakatosangana nekushungurudzwa kwevadiwa.

Nzwisisa kukanganisa

Chiitiko chehukama hune chepfu chinogona kushungurudza zvekuti iwe ungangodaro wakashamisika kanopfuura kamwe: sei waiida, sei wakagara nemumwe wako akakukuvadza kwenguva yakareba? “Kuzviongorora uku kunobatsira uye kunokosha,” anodaro Marcia Sirota, nyanzvi yezvepfungwa. "Nzwisisa (iwe wega kana nerubatsiro rwemurapi) chakakubata zvakasimba muhukama ihwohwo."

Kuziva chakakukwezva iwe kumunhu iyeye, iwe uchanzwa uine chivimbo uye unonzwisisa kuti iwe unogona kushandura yakajairika system yehukama. Ipapo iwe unenge usiri kugamuchira kumunhu werudzi rwakafanana, uye panguva imwechete iwe uchakurumidza kurasikirwa nekukwezva kune manipulators.

“Chinhu chikuru paunenge uchiongorora upenyu hwekare, usanyanya kuzvishora uye usazvipa mhosva nokuda kwokugara nomudiwa kwenguva refu,” anowedzera kudaro Marcia Sirota. “Tarisa zviito zvako nezvaunosarudza zvine mwero, asi netsitsi huru uye rega kuzvizvidza uye kunyara.

Fungidzira hukama hwemangwana

“Nguva yakati pashure pokurambana, tora bepa uye nyora kuti unoona sei ukama hwako hunotevera: zvaunokarira kwavari uye zvausina kugadzirira kugamuchira mavari,” anopa zano kudaro murapi wemhuri Abby Rodman. Nyora zvinhu zvausingazobvumiri. Uye kana rudo rutsva rwatanga kukura kuita chimwe chinhu, bvisa runyoro urwu uye uratidze kune mumwe wako. Vanhu vepedyo vanofanira kuremekedza miganhu yemumwe nemumwe. Izvi zvinonyanya kukosha kana mumwe wavo akambosangana nemhirizhonga munguva yakapfuura. "

Zviyeuchidze nezvezvaunoda

Wakapedza makore nemunhu aikunyadzisa uye akuita kuti ufunge kuti zvaunoda hapana zvazvinoreva. Naizvozvo, usati wafunga nezve mukana wehukama hutsva, teerera iwe pachako, simbisa zviroto zvako uye zvishuwo. “Sarudza chaunoda uye chaunoda zvomenemene muupenyu,” anokurudzira kudaro chiremba wendangariro wokuAmerica Margaret Paul.

Ngwarira kuti unozvibata sei. Zvichida zvitonge iwe pachako zvakanyanya? Zvichida iwe wakapa mumwe wako kodzero yekusarudza kuti iwe wakakosha sei uye chii chaunofanirwa? Vanhu vakatipoteredza vanowanzotibata nenzira yatinozvibata nayo. Saka usazviramba kana kuzvitengesa. Kana ukangodzidza kuzvitarisira iwe pachako, uchaona kuti unokwezva vanhu vane rudo uye vanovimbika.

Dzosa zvinongedzo

Zvingangodaro, waimbova shamwari yako akadzora nguva yako yekusununguka uye haana kukubvumira kuti utaure zvakawanda neshamwari nehama. Iye zvino zvawava wega zvakare, wana nguva yekusanganazve neshamwari dzekare. Nenzira iyi unenge uine boka rekutsigira rakavimbika panguva yaunopinda muhukama hutsva.

“Uchikanganwa nezveshamwari nevadiwa, unova anotsamira chose chose pamunhu mumwe, izvo zvinoita kuti kuve kwakaoma kuzoparadzana naye gare gare,” anotsanangura kudaro nyanzvi yendangariro yekiriniki Craig Malkin, mudzidzisi paHarvard Medical School. - Mukuwedzera, shamwari dzinowanzoona zvausingaoni, nokuti kuwira murudo kunovhara pfungwa. Nokukurukura manzwiro ako uye manzwiro ako nevaya vanonyatsokuziva, uchaona mamiriro acho ezvinhu zvakajeka.

Cherechedza ngozi yacho

“Usazvibvumira kuvimba nezvakaitika zvakaipa uye kufunga kuti haukwanisi kuva noukama hunofadza, hune utano,” anodaro nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Kristin Devin. Iwe uchawana rudo, iwe unongoda kugara uchibatana nezvido zvako. Chenjera uye usapotsa zviratidzo zvengozi - zvinowanzozivikanwa kune wese munhu, asi vazhinji vanowanzozvifuratira.

“Kukurukurirana kwechokwadi pakati pevadiwa pamusoro pezvakaitika kare, pamusoro pezviitiko zvinoshungurudza, ndicho chinhu chinokosha pakuvaka kuvimbana muukama hutsva,” anoyeuka kudaro Abby Rodman. Govera zvawakasangana nazvo panguva iyoyo uye kuti zvakaparadza sei kuzviremekedza kwako. Rega mudiwa mutsva aone kuti hausati wapora uye unoda nguva yeizvi. Mukuwedzera, maitiro ake kune chokwadi chako achakuudza zvakawanda nezvemunhu uyu.

Teerera kune yako intuition

“Apo unoshivirira kubatwa zvisina kufanira, unotanga kufuratira kunzwa kwako,” anowedzera kudaro Craig Malkin. - Imwe nzira yekushungurudzwa mupfungwa - gaslighting - ndeyekuita kuti usave nechokwadi nekukwana kwako iwe paunonzwa kuti chimwe chinhu chiri kutadza. Somuenzaniso, pawakabvuma kune mumwe wako kuti unopokana kuvimbika kwake, angave akakudana kuti pfungwa dzako hadzina kudzikama.

Kana chimwe chinhu chiri kukunetsa, usafunge kuti uri paranoid, zviri nani edza kubata nenyaya yekunetseka. “Taurira mumwe wako manzwiro aunoita,” nyanzvi yacho inopa zano kudaro. “Kunyange kana wakanganisa, mumwe munhu anokuremekedza uye anokwanisa kukunzwira tsitsi achatora nguva yokukurukura newe zviri kukunetsa. Kana akaramba, saka, sezviri pachena, pfungwa dzako hadzina kukunyengera.

“Zvivimbise kuti kubva zvino zvichienda mberi uchaudza mumwe wako akavimbika zvese zvisingaenderane newe,” anopedzisa kudaro Abby Rodman. "Kana achifarira kuti utsungirire nekukuvara, haazovhari kupindura, asi achaedza kubatsira."