Kuchemerera kwemwana kunogona kuva nezvikonzero zvakasiyana-siyana: kuneta, nyota, kusanzwa zvakanaka, kuda kutarisirwa nevanhu vakuru… Basa revabereki nderekunzwisisa chikonzero uye, zvinotonyanya kukosha, kumudzidzisa kudzora manzwiro ake. Maererano nenyanzvi yezvepfungwa Guy Winch, mwana ane makore mana okukura anokwanisa kubvisa manotsi akashata mukutaura kwake. Nzira yekumubatsira sei?
Vana vadiki vanodzidza kuhwihwidza mukati mezera ravanogona kutaura nemitsara izere, kana kumberi. Vamwe vanobvisa tsika iyi negiredhi rekutanga kana rechipiri, nepo vamwe vachiichengeta kwenguva refu. Chero zvazvingava, vanhu vashoma vari pedyo vanokwanisa kutsungirira kushinha uku kunonetesa kwenguva yakareba.
Vabereki vanowanzoita sei pazviri? Vazhinji vanobvunza kana kukumbira kubva kumwanakomana (mwanasikana) kuti angomira kuita. Kana kuti vanoratidza kutsamwa munzira dzose dzinobvira, asi izvi hazvibviri kudzivirira mwana kubva pakuchema kana ari mumamiriro ezvinhu akaipa, kana akatsamwa, akaneta, ane nzara kana asinganzwi zvakanaka.
Zvakaomera mwana wekireshi kuti adzore maitiro ake, asi pazera remakore matatu kana mana, anenge ava kutokwanisa kutaura mashoko mamwe chete nenzwi risinganyanyi kuchemedza. Mubvunzo chete ndewekuti ungamuita sei kuti achinje inzwi rake.
Sezvineiwo, pane hunyengeri huri nyore hunogona kushandiswa nevabereki kusura mwana wavo kubva pahunhu hunosemesa. Vakuru vakawanda vanoziva nezvemaitiro aya, asi kazhinji vanokundikana pavanoedza kuishandisa, nokuti havaenderani nemamiriro ezvinhu anokosha: mubhizinesi rekuisa miganhu uye kuchinja maitiro, tinofanira kuva 100% inonzwisisika uye inowirirana.
Matanho mashanu ekumisa kugomera
1. Nguva ipi neipi mwana wako paanoratidza kuridza mhere, taura uchinyemwerera (kuratidza kuti hauna kutsamwa), “Ndine urombo, asi inzwi rako riri kutetemera zvino zvokuti nzeve dzangu hadzigoni kunzwa zvakanaka. Saka ndapota zvitaure zvakare nezwi guru remukomana/musikana."
2. Kana mwana akaramba achihwihwidza, isa ruoko rwako panzeve wodzokorora uchinyemwerera kuti: “Ndinoziva kuti pane zvauri kutaura, asi nzeve dzangu dzinoramba kushanda. Unogona here kutaura zvakafanana nezwi guru remusikana/mukomana?"
3. Kana mwana akachinja inzwi kuita risinganyanyi kubhowekana, iti, “Iye zvino ndava kukunzwa. Ndinokutendai nekutaura neni semusikana/mukomana mukuru. " Uye iva nechokwadi chekupindura chikumbiro chake. Kana kutotaura chimwe chinhu chakadai, "Nzeve dzangu dzinofara kana ukashandisa izwi rako remusikana / mukomana."
4. Kana mwana wako achiri kugunun'una mushure mezvikumbiro zviviri, bvisa mafudzi ako uye ufuratire, usingateereri zvikumbiro zvake kusvikira ataura chido chake pasina kunyunyuta.
5. Kana kuridza mhere kukava kuchema kukuru, iti, “Ndinoda kukunzwa—ndinoda chaizvo. Asi nzeve dzangu dzinoda rubatsiro. Vanoda kuti utaure nezwi guru remukomana/musikana. " Kana ukaona kuti mwana ari kuedza kuchinja inzwi uye kutaura akadzikama, dzokera danho rechitatu.
Chinangwa chako ndechekuvandudza zvishoma nezvishoma maitiro ehungwaru, saka zvakakosha kupemberera uye kupa mubayiro chero kuedza kwekutanga pane chikamu chemwana wako.
Mamiriro Akakosha
1. Kuti nzira iyi ishande, mese iwe nemumwe wako (kana uine imwe) munofanira kugara muchipindura nenzira imwechete kusvikira tsika yemwana yachinja. Kunyanya kuramba uye kugadzikana iwe uri, zvinokurumidza izvi zvichaitika.
2. Kuti udzivise masimba masimba nemwana wako, edza kuchengeta toni yako yakadzikama, kunyange sezvinobvira, uye kumukurudzira pose paunokumbira.
3. Iva nechokwadi chekutsigira kuedza kwake nemashoko emvumo anotaurwa kamwe chete (semumienzaniso kubva pane 3).
4. Rega kukanzura zvaunoda uye usaderedze zvaunotarisira paunoona kuti mwana anotanga kuita nhamburiko dzekuti aite zvishoma. Ramba uchimuyeuchidza nezve zvikumbiro zvako kuti uti "zvakakura sei" kusvikira inzwi rake ranyanya kuderera.
5. Kudzikama kwaunoita, zvichava nyore kuti mwana aise pfungwa dzake pabasa riripo. Zvikasadaro, nekucherechedza manzwiro ekuchema kwavo, mwana wechikoro anogona kusimbisa tsika yakaipa.
Nezvemunyori: Guy Winch inyanzvi yezvepfungwa, nhengo yeAmerican Psychological Association, uye munyori wemabhuku akati wandei, rimwe rawo Psychological First Aid (Medley, 2014).