Isu tose tinozvirota, asi kana zvasvika muhupenyu hwedu, vashoma vanogona kuzvitakura nekuzvichengeta. Nei izvi zviri kuitika? Zvirevo ne psychotherapist Adam Philips pamusoro pekuti sei rudo ruchiunza marwadzo nekushungurudzika.
Tinowira murudo kwete zvakanyanya nemunhu sekufungidzira kuti munhu anogona sei kuzadza kusakosha kwedu kwemukati, anodaro psychoanalyst Adam Philips. Anowanzonzi "mudetembi wekushungurudzika", iyo Philips anofunga kuti hwaro hwehupenyu hupi hwevanhu. Kushungurudzika mutsara wemanzwiro asina kunaka kubva pakutsamwa kusvika mukusuwa kwatinosangana nako patinosangana nemhinganidzo munzira yekuenda kuchinangwa chatinoshuvira.
Phillips anotenda kuti hupenyu hwedu husina kurarama - ihwo hwatinovaka mukufungidzira, kufungidzira - kazhinji hunokosha zvikuru kwatiri kupfuura hupenyu hwatakararama. Hatigoni kuzvifungidzira chaizvoizvo uye nenzira yokufananidzira tisina ivo. Zvatinorota nezvazvo, zvatinoshuva maonerwo, zvinhu uye vanhu vasiri muhupenyu hwedu chaihwo. Kusavapo kwezvinodiwa kunoita kuti munhu afunge uye akudziridze, uye panguva imwechete inovhiringidza uye kuora mwoyo.
Mubhuku rake rinonzi Lost, chiremba wepfungwa anonyora kuti: “Kuvanhu vemazuva ano, vanonetseka nepfungwa yokuti vangasarudza sei, upenyu hunobudirira ndihwo hwatinorarama zvizere. Tinobatikana nezvinenge zvisipo muhupenyu hwedu uye zvinotitadzisa kuwana mafaro ese atinoshuvira.
Kushungurudzika kunova huni hwerudo. Pasinei nekurwadziwa, kune zviyo zvakanaka mairi. Inoita sechiratidzo chekuti chinangwa chinodiwa chiripo pane imwe nzvimbo mune ramangwana. Saka, tichine chimwe chinhu chokuvavarira. Illusions, zvinotarisirwa zvakakosha kuti kuvepo kwerudo, zvisinei kana rudo urwu rwuri rwevabereki kana rusina.
Nyaya dzese dzerudo inyaya dzekusada kudiwa. Kuwira murudo kugamuchira chiyeuchidzo chezvawakanyimwa, uye zvino zvinoratidzika kwauri kuti wazvigamuchira.
Nei rudo ruchikosha zvikuru kwatiri? Inotitenderedza kwekanguva nekunyepedzera kwekurota kuzadzikiswa. Sekureva kwaPhilips, "nyaya dzese dzerudo inyaya dzechido chisingawanikwe ...
Zvakananga "zvinoita" nokuti rudo harugoni kuvimbisa kuti zvaunoda zvichazadzikiswa, uye kunyange kana zvikadaro, kushungurudzika kwako kuchashandurwa kuva chimwe chinhu. Kubva pakuona kwe psychoanalysis, munhu watinoda naye chaizvo murume kana mukadzi kubva mukufungidzira kwedu. Isu takavagadzira tisati taonana navo, kwete kubva pasina (hapana chinobva kune chinhu), asi pahwaro hwechiitiko chekare, zvese zvechokwadi uye zvinofungidzirwa.
Tinonzwa kuti takaziva munhu uyu kwenguva refu, nokuti neimwe nzira tinomuziva chaizvoizvo, iye nyama neropa rinobva kwatiri. Uye nekuti tanga takamirira kwemakore kuti tisangane naye, tinonzwa sekunge tave tichiziva munhu uyu kwemakore mazhinji. Panguva imwe cheteyo, kuva munhu akaparadzana ane hunhu hwake amene nemiitiro, anoratidzika kuva mutorwa kwatiri. Mutorwa anoziva.
Uye hazvina mhosva kuti takamirira zvakadini, uye takatarisira, uye tichirota kusangana nerudo rwehupenyu hwedu, kana chete patinosangana naye, tinotanga kutya kurasikirwa naye.
Iyo gangaidzo ndeyekuti kutaridzika muhupenyu hwedu kwechinhu cherudo kunodikanwa kuti tinzwe kusavapo kwayo.
Iyo gangaidzo ndeyekuti kutaridzika muhupenyu hwedu kwechinhu cherudo kunodikanwa kuti tinzwe kusavapo kwayo. Kushuva kunogona kutangira kutaridzika kwayo muhupenyu hwedu, asi isu tinofanirwa kusangana nerudo rwehupenyu kuti tibve tanyatsonzwa kurwadziwa kwatinogona kurasikirwa nako. Rudo rutsva runotiyeuchidza nezvekuunganidza kwedu kwekukundikana uye kukundikana, nokuti inovimbisa kuti zvinhu zvichange zvakasiyana ikozvino, uye nekuda kweizvi, inova yakanyanyisa.
Zvisinei nekusimba uye kusafarira kunzwa kwedu kungave kwakasimba sei, chinhu chayo hachingambochipindura zvizere kwachiri. Saka kurwadziwa.
Muchinyorwa chake "Pakuita Flirting," Philips anoti "hukama hwakanaka hunogona kuvakwa nevanhu avo vanokwanisa kutsungirira kushushikana nguva dzose, kushushikana kwezuva nezuva, kusakwanisa kuzadzisa chinangwa chaunoda. Avo vanoziva kumirira uye kutsungirira uye vanogona kuyananisa fungidziro dzavo uye nehupenyu husingazombofi vakakwanisa kuhuisa ivo chaizvo.
Kukura kwatinokura, ndiko kunoita kuti tiite zviri nani nokuvhiringidzika, tariro yaPhillips, uye zvichida tinowirirana zviri nani norudo pacharwo.