"Ndinoda uye ndicha": zvidimbu zvebhuku raMikhail Labkovsky

Kana iwe uchida kuroora, kusangana kana kutogara pamwe chete kwemwedzi mitanhatu kana gore uye hapana chinoitika, iwe unofanirwa kuedza kuzvipa iwe pachako. Kana murume asina kugadzirira kutanga mhuri, saka inguva yekuonekana naye. Nenzira yakanaka, hongu. Se, ndinokubatai noushamwari uye ndicharamba ndiri mumweya mumwe, asi kure nemi.

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Vamwe vanoona kusarudza wokuroorana naye senzira yekugadzirisa matambudziko avo. Zvinhu, zvepfungwa, imba, kubereka. Ichi ndicho chimwe chezvikanganiso zvinowanzoitika uye zvinouraya. Kudyidzana kwechokwadi chete kunogona kuva neutano hwakanaka. Inoshanda inogona kungova iyo hukama, chinangwa chayo chiri nyore - kuva pamwe chete. Saka, kana iwe ukarota muchato unogara, rudo, ushamwari, iwe unofanira kutanga watarisana newe uye "mapete" ako.

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Kana wada kuroora chinhu chokutanga chaunofanira kuita kubvisa pfungwa yacho mumusoro mako. Nenguva pfupi. Vanhu vanowana zvavasingakoshesi mupfungwa.

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Mamiriro ezvinhu anowanzoitika apo kupopotedzana kunotanga kuita zvepabonde zvechisimba hazvina kunaka. Usatorwa moyo. Ukama hwakadaro hunoguma nekukakavadzana kwekupedzisira, asi pasina zvepabonde. Kana kupopotedzana kunogara kuri chikamu chehupenyu hwako, rimwe zuva kunyadziswa, kutsamwa, kutsamwa uye kumwe kusazvibata hazvichakurirwi. Kupokana kucharamba kuripo, asi bonde richapera zvachose.

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"Rudzii rwevarume (vakadzi) rwaunoda?" Ndinobvunza. Uye ndinonzwa pamusoro pechinhu chimwe chete: pamusoro pehurume-chikadzi, mutsa-kuvimbika, maziso akanaka uye makumbo akanaka. Uye zvino zvinozoitika kuti vadyidzani vechokwadi vevanhu ava vakasiyana zvachose kubva kune yakanaka. Kwete nekuti iyo yakanaka haipo, asi nekuti kusarudzwa kwemudiwa wehupenyu inzira yekusaziva. Mushure memasekondi 5-7 mushure mekusangana iwe unotoziva kuti unoda munhu uyu here kana kuti kwete. Uye paunosangana nemunhu ane mutsa ane maziso akanaka nemakumbo, iwe unomurega nyore nyore. Uye iwe unowira murudo, pane zvinopesana, nechikara chine hasha chinowanzoita kudhakwa (chisarudzo: mwana mucheche bunny anowanzoita shopaholism uye udyire).

Vakapindwa muropa nehukama vanokura kubva kune avo vana vaive hypertrophied uye zvinorwadza mupfungwa vanovimba nevabereki vavo. Vanhu vakadai vanorarama nechido chimwe chete chekuva neukama, nokuti kana vasina hukama, havararame.

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Bvunza iwe zvino: "Wakambove murudo here?" uye iwe uchapindura: "Chokwadi!" Uye iwe uchayera rudo nechiyero chekutambudzika. Uye hukama hwakanaka hunoyerwa nehuwandu hwemufaro.

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Chokwadi, zvakawanda zvinoenderana nokuti tinosangana «wedu» munhu kana kwete. Zvakadai kuti vese shamwari uye mudiwa (shamwari yehupenyu / mudiwa) panguva imwechete ndiyo yakanyanyobudirira musanganiswa uye vimbiso yehupenyu hurefu hwemhuri. Isu tose tinorota pamusoro peizvi, tenda kuguma kana kunyunyuta pamusoro pazvo, tichikanganwa kuti hapana zvachose chakaipa mumisangano inofadza. Kuti mudiwa wavo akakodzera anosangana nevanhu vakagadzirira musangano uyu: vakazvibata ivo pachavo, kushungurudza kwavo kwehuduku uye matambudziko, vakawana uye vakararama vakaomarara neuroses, vanoziva zvavanoda kubva kuhupenyu uye kune murume kana murume, uye vanoita. vasina kurwisana kwakakomba navo pachavo. Zvikasadaro, hukama hutsva hwega hwega hunova muyedzo wesimba kune vese vatori vechikamu uye zvisingadziviriki hunopera mukuodzwa mwoyo pamwe chete uye zvitsva zvakaomarara.

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Iwe unogona, hongu, sarudza shamwari rationally. Senge, akavimbika, asingatsamwise, anodawo vana ... Asi zvinondiyeuchidza bvunzo paInternet: "Ndeipi imbwa iri nani kuwana, zvichienderana nehunhu hwako?" Kuvhima kana kuvhima mumba? Uchafamba naye katatu pazuva kwemaminetsi 45 kana kumurega achiitira weti mutireyi? Unogona! Asi chete kana iwe usingade manzwiro muhukama. Zvinoitikawo. Ndine chokwadi chekuti hwaro hwehukama, uye zvakatonyanya zvemuchato, hongu, kunofanira kunge kuri rudo.

Hazvibatsiri kusiya munhu kusvika wachinja mukati uye kusvikira mudiwa iri nzira yekuti iwe ugadzirise matambudziko ako emukati. Chema, chema uye iwe uchawana itsva yakafanana nayo.

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Iyo neurotic inogara ichitsvaga mumwe munhu waanoisa chigumbu chake kuhupenyu. Havana kuvimba nemumwe, asi pamukana wekugumburwa naye. Nekuti kana iwe ukaisa chigumbu mukati mako, chinoshanduka kuve kuora mwoyo.

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Kana munhu asati agadzirira kuroora kana hukama, anosarudza anosarudza vadyidzani vasingagone kuvaka navo.

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Muukama hune hutano, ndiro dzinoshambidzwa kwete nokuti "zvakakosha", asi nokuti mudzimai akauya akaneta, murume, asingazviiti gamba, anosimuka uye anosuka. Anomuda chaizvo uye anoda kubatsira. Uye kana akabhururuka achipinda uye achiziva kuti murume wacho akabatikana zvikuru, haazosimbiri kuti asangane naye pachikwata chematsotsi. Haisi dambudziko, tekisi ichatora.

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Kana iwe usingade kuodzwa mwoyo nekunyepedzera, saka, kutanga, usavaka manyepo. Usafunge kuti rudo, muchato kana mamwe mamiriro achachinja psychology yako kana psychology yewaunosarudza. Kufunga/kurota/kurota kuti “patinochata, acharega kunwa” kukanganisa. Uye kuti anofamba pamberi pemuchato, uye obva angoerekana ava mukwanyina akatendeka - zvakare. Unogona kuzvishandura chete.

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Kudiwa kwehukama mune neurotic kwakakwira zvakanyanya kupfuura mumunhu ane hutano. Mwana muduku haana mumwe kunze kwevabereki vake, uye mirangariro yake yose inotsamira pavari bedzi. Uye kana hukama hwemhuri hwaive hwakaipa, hupenyu hwaive hwakaipa. Uye zvinokwevera mberi ... Hazviitike nemunhu ane hutano kuti kana hukama hukapera, hupenyu hwose hunorasikirwa zvachose nechirevo chahwo. Pane zvimwewo zvinhu. Hukama hune nzvimbo yahwo mune yake hierarchy yehunhu, asi kwete hazvo yekutanga.

Mumamiriro ezvinhu ane hutano, munhu anoda kugara pamwe chete nemudiwa wake. Haisi "sekuda kwako", asi zvakadaro. Rudo? Saka munogara pamwe chete! Zvimwe zvese hukama husina hutano, hunetsinga. Kana vakakuudza chimwe chinhu: nezve "vasina kugadzirira", nezvemuenzi kana muchato wekunze, usanyengerwa. Kana iwe pachako uchitya kugara pamwe chete, saka ziva kuti iyi neurosis.

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Kukwezva pabonde matiri hupenyu hwedu hwese kunokonzera kutaridzika kwakafanana uye seti imwechete yehunhu nehunhu. Kukwezva kunotendeuka kana kuti kunyarara patinotanga kuona munhu uye nekusaziva kumuongorora. Sezvaunoziva, murume anoita chisarudzo «anoda - haadi» mukati 3-4 masekondi, mukadzi refu - 7-8. Asi kuseri kwemasekonzi iwayo kune makore nemakore ezviitiko zvekutanga. Libido inozorora pane zvese zvakaitika zvehudiki uye zvatova zvekuyaruka zvinoonekwa, mifananidzo, manzwiro, kutambura. Uye ese akavanzika zvakadzika mukusaziva, uye pamusoro pepamusoro anoramba, semuenzaniso, chimiro chezvipikiri, nzeve, ruvara rweganda, chimiro chechipfuva, maoko ... asi chaizvoizvo zvinhu zvose zvakadzama uye zvisinganzwisisike.

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Ini ndinopesana nekuparadzana nechisimba. Kuparadzana mumhando "Handife ndakakukanganwa, handifi ndakakuona ..." Kukanda, kutambura, uye toenda - mutambo, misodzi, "Ndinokuda, handigone kurarama pasina iwe, asi sezvo uchiita izvi ini ... "Haugone kurarama - saka usaparadzane! Hukama hweNeurotic chaihwo kana zvisingabviri kuparadzaniswa, uye zvakanyanya kuipa pamwechete. Manomano haasi ekuti urambane kana kuti chikamu, asi kuti urege kukwezvwa pabonde kune vanokutambudza, vanokushungurudza zvisinei nekuti chii - kurohwa kana kusateerera.

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Kubuda muukama kuri nyore zvikuru kana iwe ukaona kuti chaizvoizvo haudi zvose izvi uye hazvidi, kuti hauna rudo, apo munhu wacho pachake anokosha, asi kuvimba nemanzwiro. Uye manzwiro anorwadza.

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Avo vane utano hwepfungwa vanotungamirirwa nemanzwiro avo uye nguva dzose vanozvisarudzira. Runako kana rudo hazvidi kuzvipira. Uye kana vakazvida, zvirokwazvo haisi nyaya yako. Iko hakuna chinangwa chakadaro icho chakakodzera kutsungirira chimwe chinhu muhukama.