Tisati tataura nezvoushamwari hwomurume nomukadzi, tinofanira kutanga tatsanangura ushamwari, iyi pfungwa yatakashandisa kubvira pauduku hwedu. Nekuzvivharira kutsika dzekuMadokero, inogona kutorwa se hukama hwekuzvidira pakati pevanhu vaviri izvo zvisingabvi pane zvemagariro kana zvehupfumi, hukama kana kukwezva pabonde. Kugamuchirwa kwakadzokororwa, kuda kwekufambidzana, hukama hwepedyo hunosunga vanhu vaviri, kuvimba, kutsigira kwepfungwa kana kunyangwe kutsigirwa kwezvinhu, kutsamirana kwepamoyo uye nguva yezvinhu zvese zvinoumba hushamwari uhu.

Kutozosvikira makumi mashomanene amakore apfuura, ushamwari hwomurume nomukadzi hwairangarirwa kuva husingabviri kana kuti hwenhema. Taiti ndiye chimiro chakavanzika chekukwezva pabonde kana kudanana.

Nyaya huru mukusimbisa ushamwari pakati pevasikana nevakomana inobva pairi kupatsanurwa kwevanhukadzi, aripo kubva pakuzvarwa. Ndiko kupatsanurwa kumwe chete uku kunenge kuri pamavambo ebumbiro rehunhu hwepabonde uye mabasa emagariro anoenderana nemunhukadzi wega wega. Nekuda kweizvozvo, vasikana nevakomana vanokwezvwa kumabasa akasiyana uye vanobatanidza mamwe marudzi ekudyidzana anotadzisa kusikwa kweushamwari hwemurume nemukadzi.

Zvakagara zvichionekwa kuti vakadzi vanochengetedza hushamwari hwavo kuburikidza nenhaurirano, zvakavanzika uye hukama hwepedyo asi varume vachiwanzokura padyo kuburikidza nezviitiko zvakafanana. Asi mumakore achangopfuura, zvidzidzo zvitsva zvakaratidza kuti maitiro aya ari kukanganisa zvakanyanya, nevakadzi vachiwedzera kuda kuswedera kune mumwe nemumwe panguva yezviitwa zvekubatana, uye varume vanowedzera kuratidza manzwiro avo.

Kugadzirisa kukwezva pabonde ndiyo inorwadza yehushamwari hwepabonde. Chokwadi, 20 kusvika 30% yevarume, uye gumi kusvika makumi maviri muzana yevakadzi vanoziva kuvepo kwekukwezva kwehunhu hwepabonde mukati mehurongwa hwehukama hwehukama pakati pevarume nevakadzi.

Zvidzidzo zvinoratidza izvozvo varume vanowanzokwezvwa neshamwari dzavo dzechirume chakasiyana. Izvi zvinogona kutsanangurwa nenyaya yekuti basa rekugarisana remurume raizoruramisa chirevo chechinhu chakakosha chepabonde kana nemufananidzo wemukadzi akadzorerwa nekambani yedu. Vamwe vanyori, saRubin, vanotenda kuti imhaka yekusakwanisa kwevanhu kuona zvinorehwa nezviratidzo zvehukama hwepedyo hunovasunga. Nemamwe mashoko, murume wacho aizonzwisisa zvisizvo zviratidzo asi zvine ushamwari zveshamwari dzavo.

Kukwezva pabonde idambudziko muhushamwari hwemurume nemukadzi nekuda kwezvikonzero zvakati:

• Zvinosvibisa hukama hwetsika nemagariro izvo zvisingabatanidzi kubata kumeso nekuda kwekubata pfungwa.
• Iyo inobvisa zvisingadzoreki vanhu vari kubatwa uye kutora chikamu mukushatisa kwehukama.
• Inoshandura hukama hwehushamwari huve hunofarira, husingaenderani nemafungiro asina kunaka eushamwari.
• Inosimudzira kutaridzika kwechikamu chemitambo chehunhu, chinounzwa kukwezva uye kunyengedza mumwe, kuderedza uchokwadi, kutendeseka uye kungoerekana kwaitika, zvakakosha kushamwari yechokwadi.

Vatsvakurudzi vakaratidza kuti muhuwandu hwezviitiko, pane nguva dzose pane zvishoma zvekukwezva pakati pezviviri.

Vazhinji vavo vanonzvenga kuzvishuma, tichirangarira kuti ziviso yacho yaizokanganisa zvakakomba ushamwari hwakaisvonaka hunoberekwa pakati pavaviri ava. Kukwezva uku kunogona kunyanya kuunza manzwiro akapfava ekusarudzika uye kugoverwa. 

Ongororo dzakati wandei dzakaratidza kuti varume nevakadzi vanomira pachena pane akati wandei anosanganisira ushamwari: nzvimbo dzekufarira, kunzwa, maitiro ekutaura manzwiro, nzira dzekutaurirana, nzira yekutungamira kune imwe mhando yemaitiro kana maitiro… pamudzi wekusiyana kukuru uku.

Zvisinei, zviri pachena kuti vanhu vaviri vangangotanga ushamwari kana vaine zvinhu zvakafanana. 

Varume nevakadzi vane shamwari dzechirume dzakasiyana vanoti hukama uhwu hahuna kukwikwidzana pane hushamwari hwengondi imwe chete, uye husina kusimba pane hukama. Tinocherechedzawo:

• Zivo iri nani yevakomana kana vasikana. Ushamwari hwomurume nomukadzi hunoratidzika kuva hunokwanisa kusimudzira kunzwisiswa kwevatano yakasiana uye mitemo yayo.
• Kuziva kwakadzama kwako pachako. Hushamwari pakati pevarume nevakadzi hunobvumira vanhu kuwana nekushandisa zvisingazivikanwe maficha pachezvavo: tinotaura nezve "kutariswa kwekunzwa". 

“Ini ndinofunga kuti nemukadzi, kunyanya kana paine anokwezva, kunyangwe asina kumbobvira apinda murudo kana bonde, panogara paine katsika kekumukira kuita bonde uye izvo zvinobvisa kukurumidza, zvinotora kure. kutendeseka kubva kuvanhu vanobatanidzwa. Uye saka izvo zvinoderedza hushamwari hwechokwadi ”. Demosthenes, ane makore makumi matatu nemasere

« Kuti hushamwari huri pakati pevaviri ava huzadziswe, panofanira kunge paine hukama hupfupi hwepabonde husina kubudirira, kana kuti hunge husina kumbobvira hwakurukurwa […] ". Paris, ane makore makumi matatu nemasere