“Kudzidza nezvevatano kunowanzodziviswa nevarapi vamene, avo vasingatongozivi nzira yokubvunza nayo mibvunzo yakarurama,” anodaro muongorori wepfungwa Otto Kernberg. Takataura naye nezve rudo rwakakura, zvepabonde zvehuduku, uye apo Freud akakanganisa.
Ane akapinza zvimiro uye anoshingirira, anopinda mukati. Muchigaro chikuru chakavezwa nechepamusoro-soro, anotaridzika seBulgakov's Woland. Chete pachinzvimbo chechikamu chemashiripiti nekuratidzwa kunotevera, anoitisa ongororo yakadzama yezviitiko kubva mukuita kwake uye maitiro ema psychotherapist aripo pamusangano.
Asi zvechokwadi pane chimwe chinhu chemashiripiti mukureruka uko Otto Kernberg anopinda nayo pakadzika pechinhu chisinganzwisisike chakadai sepabonde. Akagadzira yemazuva ano psychoanalytic dzidziso yehunhu uye yake pachake psychoanalytic nzira, akaronga nzira itsva yekurapwa kweborderline personality kusagadzikana uye kutarisa kutsva kwenarcissism. Uye ipapo akangoerekana achinja nzira yekutsvaga uye akashamisa munhu wese ane bhuku nezve rudo uye zvepabonde. Kunzwisisa zvinyengeri nuances zvehukama uhwu hutete hunogona kuitirwa shanje kwete chete nevamwe vake vepfungwa, asiwo nevadetembi, zvichida.
Psychologies: Kuita zvepabonde kwevanhu kunogoneka here pakudzidza kwesainzi?
Otto Kernberg: Zvinetso zvinomuka nekudzidza kwemaitiro emuviri: zvinodikanwa kutsvaga vanozvipira vakagadzirira kuita rudo muma sensors, vane midziyo yakakosha uye pasi pekutariswa kwesainzi. Asi kubva pamaonero epfungwa, handioni matambudziko, kunze kwechinhu chimwe chete: nyanzvi dzepfungwa uye vanachiremba vanowanzonyara kubvunza mibvunzo yakarurama pamusoro pehupenyu hwepabonde.
Nyanzvi dzepfungwa? Kwete vatengi vavo?
Kutaura zvazviri! Hazvisi zvakanyanya nevatengi vanonyara, asi ivo psychotherapists ivo pachavo. Uye hazvina maturo zvachose: kana iwe ukabvunza mibvunzo yakarurama inotevera kubva kune pfungwa yehurukuro, ipapo iwe uchawana ruzivo rwaunoda. Sezviri pachena, varapi vazhinji havana ruzivo uye ruzivo rwekunyatsonzwisisa kuti ndeipi mibvunzo nezvehupenyu hwepabonde hwemutengi inofanira kubvunzwa - uye panguva ipi.
Izvo zvakakosha kuti murapi akangwara, akavhurika mupfungwa, uye ave nekukura kwakakwana kwemunhu. Asi panguva imwe cheteyo, anoda mano okunzwisisa zviitiko zvechinyakare, kwete kuti anyanyova akaomesesa uye akaganhurirwa.
Pane nzvimbo dzehupenyu dzakavharwa kutsvagiridzo?
Zvinoita sekuti tinokwanisa uye tinofanira kudzidza zvese. Uye chipingamupinyi chikuru chimiro chenzanga kune kumwe kuratidzwa kwepabonde. Haasi masayendisiti, psychoanalysts, kana vatengi vanotadzisa rudzi urwu rwekutsvaga, asi nzanga. Handizivi kuti zviri sei muRussia, asi muU.SA nhasi, somuenzaniso, zvakaoma zvisingafungidziri kudzidza zvose zvine chokuita nepabonde muvana.
Ukama hunoenderera mberi hunogona kutungamirira pakuwana rudo rwepabonde rwakakura. Kana kuti zvimwe kwete
Zvinoshamisa ndezvekuti aive masayendisiti eAmerica aimbove mapiyona mune iyi ndima yeruzivo. Asi edza ikozvino kukumbira mari yetsvagiridzo ine chekuita nebonde remwana. Zvakanakisa, havakupe mari, uye zvakaipisisa, vanogona kumhan'ara kumapurisa. Nokudaro, rudzi urwu rwekutsvakurudza runenge rwusipo. Asi zvakakosha kuti unzwisise kuti zvepabonde zvinokura sei pamazera akasiyana, kunyanya, maitiro ekuita zvepabonde anoumbwa.
Kana isu tisingatauri nezvevana, asi pamusoro pevakuru: yakawanda sei iyo pfungwa yerudo rwepabonde rwakakura, pamusoro payo iwe unonyora zvakawanda, maererano nezera rehupenyu?
Mupfungwa yemuviri, munhu anokura nekuda kwerudo rwepabonde mukuyaruka kana muhudiki. Asi kana akatambura, somuenzaniso, nehosha yakakomba yohunhu, ipapo kusvika pakukura kungatora nguva refu. Panguva imwecheteyo, ruzivo rwehupenyu hunoita basa rakakosha, kunyanya kana zvasvika kune vanhu vane yakajairika kana neurotic hunhu sangano.
Chero zvazvingava, munhu haafaniri kufunga kuti rudo rwepabonde rwakakura hukama hunowanikwa chete kune vanhu vanopfuura makore makumi matatu kana kupfuura makore makumi mana. Hukama hwakadaro hunowanikwa kunyangwe kune vane makore makumi maviri.
Pane imwe nguva ndakaona kuti dhigirii remunhu pathology yemumwe nemumwe wevakaroorana haabvumi kufanotaura kuti hupenyu hwavo pamwe chete huchafamba sei. Zvinoitika kuti vanhu vaviri vane hutano hwakakwana vakabatanidzwa, uye iyi igehena chaiyo. Uye dzimwe nguva vaviri vakaroorana vane kukanganisa kwakakomba kwehunhu, asi hukama hukuru.
Chiitiko chekugara pamwe chete nemumwe chinoita basa rei? Michato mitatu yakakundikana "pamwe chete" inogona kupa ruzivo rwakakosha ruchatungamira kune rudo rwepabonde rwakakura here?
Ndinofunga kana munhu achikwanisa kudzidza, saka kubva mukukundikana anokweverawo zvidzidzo zvake. Naizvozvo, kunyange michato isingabudiriri ichabetsera kuva akakura zvikuru uye kuva nechokwadi chebudiriro mumubatanidzwa mutsva. Asi kana munhu ane zvinetso zvakakomba zvepfungwa, saka haadzidzi chero chinhu, asi anongoramba achiita zvikanganiso zvakafanana kubva kumuchato kusvika kumuchato.
Ukama hwenguva dzose nemudiwa mumwe chete hunogonawo kutungamirira kukuwana rudo rwepabonde rwakakura. Kana kuti vangasatungamira - ndinodzokorora zvakare: zvakawanda zvinoenderana nerudzi rwesangano repfungwa remunhu.
Ndezvipi zvinhu zvitsva zvaunoziva nezve rudo uye zvepabonde izvo Freud, semuenzaniso, aisaziva kana aisagona kuziva?
Tinofanira kutanga nekuti hatinyatsonzwisisa izvo Freud aiziva nezvaaisaziva. Iye pachake akati aisada kunyora nezverudo kusvika zvapera kumunetsa. Asi saka, chaizvoizvo, haana kunyora chero chinhu. Kubva pane izvo tinogona kugumisa kuti haana kugadzirisa dambudziko iri muupenyu hwake hwose. Iwe haufaniri kumupomera mhosva nokuda kweizvi: shure kwezvose, uyu munhu chaiye uye hazvishamisi zvachose. Vanhu vazhinji havagone kugadzirisa dambudziko iri hupenyu hwavo hwese.
Asi kubva pakuona kwesainzi, nhasi tinoziva zvakawanda nezverudo kupfuura Freud. Semuenzaniso, akatenda kuti nekudyara libido muhukama hwerudo, tinoshandisa "matura" ayo. Uku kunyengedza kwakadzama. Libido haisi mafuta kana marasha, kuitira kuti "matura" ayo anogona kupera. Nekudyara muhukama, tinozvipfumisa isu panguva imwe chete.
Freud aidavira kuti super-ego muvakadzi haina kutaurwa sevarume. Ukuwo kukanganisa. Freud akafunga kuti shanje yesikarudzi isimba rine simba rinobata vakadzi. Uye ichi ichokwadi, asi varume vanobatwawo negodo rechimiro chechikadzi, uye Freud akafuratira izvi. Mukutaura, psychoanalysis haina kumira makore ese aya.
Iwe unopikisa kuti rusununguko muukama hwepabonde hwakakura hunokubvumira kubata mumwe wako sechinhu.
Ndinoreva chete kuti mumamiriro ezvinhu ehutano hwakanaka, hunoenderana nehukama hwepabonde, zvose zvinokurudzira zvepabonde zvinogona kubatanidzwa: kuratidzwa kwekusuruvara, masochism, voyeurism, kuratidza, fetishism, nezvimwe zvakadaro. Uye mudiwa anova chinhu chekugutsikana kweizvi zvinosiririsa kana masochistic zvishuvo. Izvi zvakajairika, chero zvishuwo zvepabonde zvinogara zvichisanganisira musanganiswa wezvese erotic uye zvehasha zvikamu.
Hazvidikanwi kuti vaviri vakaroorana vavhotere munhu mumwe chete musarudzo. Zvinonyanya kukosha kuva nepfungwa dzakafanana pamusoro pezvakanaka nezvakaipa
Zvakakosha chete kuyeuka kuti muukama hwakakura, mudiwa anova chinhu chezvisungo izvi anobvumirana nekuratidzwa kwavo uye anofarira zviri kuitika. Kana zvisina kudaro, chokwadi, hapana chikonzero chekutaura nezverudo rwakakura.
Chii chaungashuvira vaviri vechidiki manheru emuchato?
Ndinoshuvira kuti vafare ivo pachavo uye mumwe nomumwe. Usazviremekedze kune zvakatemerwa pfungwa pamusoro pechakanaka nechakaipa pabonde, usatya kufungidzira, tsvaga uye kuwana mafaro. Mukuwedzera, zvakakosha kuti hupenyu hwavo hwezuva nezuva hunobva pakusangana kwezvishuwo. Kuti vagokwanisa kugovana mabasa, pamwe chete kugadzirisa mabasa akatarisana navo.
Uye pakupedzisira, zvingave zvakanaka kana maitiro avo ekukosha asina kuuya mukupokana. Izvi hazvirevi hazvo kuti vanofanira kuvhotera munhu mumwe chete musarudzo yemutungamiri wenyika. Zvinonyanya kukosha kuti vave nemafungiro akafanana pamusoro pezvakanaka nezvakaipa, zvishuvo zvemweya. Vanogona kuve hwaro hwehumwe hurongwa hwehunhu, hwekuzvibata pamwe chete pachiyero chemumwe murume nemukadzi. Uye iyi ndiyo hwaro hwakavimbika hwehukama hwakasimba uye kuchengetedzwa kwavo kwakavimbika.