Mukati
The biological wachi
Hupenyu hwangu hwehunyanzvi hwakanga huri kubudirira: maneja wekushambadzira ipapo mutori wenhau, ndakafambira mberi sezvandaiona zvakakodzera. Kune shamwari dzangu, "Réjane" yagara iine rhythm yekumukira uye rusununguko. Ndagara ndakasarudza pane zvese. Rimwe zuva, pamakore makumi matatu, shure kubva mugore kupota nyika nomurume wangu, ndakazivisa kuti ndakanga ndine “hwindo”: Ndaiwanika, ndakanga ndakura, saka yakanga iri nguva yokuva nomwana. Pashure pemakore manomwe okumirira, ini nomurume wangu takaenda kunoona nyanzvi. Mutongo uri pakuti: Ndakanga ndisina mbereko. Uye nekupihwa zera rangu uye my ovarian reserve level, chiremba akatiyambira kuti tisaedze chero chinhu, tichitenda zvishoma mupiro weoocyte. Ichi chiziviso hachina kundishungurudza, ndakaodzwa mwoyo, asi kuti ndazorodzwa sezvo sainzi yakanga yataura. Akandipa chikonzero chekumirira kwenguva refu. Handisi kuzova amai. Mumakore manomwe, ndakanga ndatosiya nyaya yacho zvishoma uye panguva ino ndaigona kunyatsovhara nyaya yacho. Chokwadi, kunze kwokuti mwedzi misere gare gare, ndakabata pamuviri. Apa ndipo pandaida kunzwisisa zvainge zvaitika. Chishamiso ? Pamwe kwete.
Mushonga weAyurvedic wakandibatsira kusunungura kushushikana kwangu
Ndakanga ndatochinja zvinhu pakati pechiziviso chekushaya mbereko yangu uye kuwanikwa kwepamuviri wangu. Yakanga isingazivi, asi mishonga yeAyurvedic yakanga yatanga nzira. Ndisati ndaenda kunoona nyanzvi, ndakaenda kunomhan'ara kuKerala uye takatora mukana, ini nemurume wangu, kuti tipedze mazuva mashoma mukiriniki yeAyurvedic. Takanga tasangana naSambhu chiremba. Isu, vanhu vekuMadokero (kurwadza kwemusoro kwaMadame, kurwadza kwemusana kwaMonsieur), taive munyama wevanhu vaviri vakashushikana… Murume wangu, pasina mubvunzo akanyanya kuzvivimba, akaudza chiremba kuti pakanga papfuura makore manomwe kubva aizvidzivirira zvakanyanya, asi izvo Handina kuita mimba. Ndakaita hasha kuti aitaura nezvazvo. Chiremba haana kuchinja chero chinhu muhurongwa hweAyurvedic hwakarongwa, asi takava nehurukuro pamusoro pehupenyu uye nokudaro akasvibisa zvinhu mumutauro wehurukuro: "Kana iwe uchida mwana, akati kwandiri, ita nzvimbo. “
Panguva iyoyo, ndakafunga kuti: “Zviri kurevei? Asi akanga akarurama! Akandivimbisawo kuti kana ndikaenderera mberi seizvi, paheti dzemavhiri muhupenyu hwangu hwebasa, muviri wangu hauchateveri: "Tora nguva iwe pachako". Sambhu akabva atitumira kuAmma, "hug mom" inoyevedza yakatombundira vanhu vanopfuura mamiriyoni makumi maviri nematanhatu. Ndakadzokera kumashure, kwete nechido chekumbundirwa asi neshungu dzemutori wenhau. Kumbundira kwake, nenzira, hakuna kunditsamwisa, asi ndakaona kuzvipira kwevanhu pamberi peichi simba rekuvapo zvachose. Ndakanzwisisa ipapo kuti simba raamai chii. Izvi zvakawanikwa zvakamutsa zvinhu zvakakwana mandiri zvekuti pakudzoka ndinoita sarudzo yekuenda kunoona nyanzvi.
Kuva pedyo kwerufu, uye kukurumidza kupa hupenyu
Ini zvakare ndakachinjira ku4 / 5ths kuitira kuti ndiite hunyanzvi padhuze nezvishuwo zvangu, ndakaramba ndichiita masaja, ndakashanda neshamwari pane zvinyorwa. Zvinhu izvi zvakandidyisa. Ndakaisa zvidhinha panzvimbo kuti nditore danho: chaizvoizvo, ndakatanga kufamba. Zhizha rakatevera, ini nemurume wangu takadzokera kuHimalaya uye ndakasangana nachiremba weTibetan akandiudza nezvekusaenzana kwangu padivi resimba. “Mumuviri wako unotonhora, haugamuchire mwana. ” Mufananidzo uyu wakataura kwandiri zvakajeka zvakanyanya kupfuura mwero wehomoni. Zano rake raive: "Iwe unoshaya moto: idya inopisa, zvinonhuwira, idya nyama, tamba mitambo". Ndakanzwisisa kuti sei Sambhu, zvakare, akanga andipa bota rakajekeswa kuti ndidye mwedzi mishoma yadarika: zvakaita kuti mukati mangu mupfave, kuita denderedzwa.
Zuva randakasangana nachiremba weTibet, dutu guru rakaparadza hafu yomusha watakanga tiri. Kwakanga kune mazana evakafa. Uye husiku ihwohwo, pedyo nerufu, ndakanzwisisa kukurumidza kwehupenyu. Pausiku hwechipiri hwedutu, patakanga takambundikirana mumubhedha mumwe, katsi yakauya ndokusvikosveerera pakati pangu nomurume wangu sokunge kuti yaikumbira dziviriro. Ikoko, ndakanzwisisa kuti ndakanga ndagadzirira kutarisira uye kuti pakanga pane nzvimbo pakati pedu vaviri nokuda kwomumwe munhu.
Kuva amai, dambudziko remazuva ose
Kudzokera kuFrance, maneja mutsva wemagazini yangu aida kuti ndidzinge mumwe munhu mudhipatimendi uye ini ndakazvibvisa pachangu: ndaifanira kuenderera mberi. Uye mavhiki mashoma gare gare, mwanakomana wangu akazvizivisa. Nzira yekutanga yakatanga vasati vabata pamuviri yaenderera mberi. Ndakanzwa kurwadziwa kukuru pakuzvarwa kwemwanakomana wangu nekuti baba vangu vakanga vava kufa uye mararamiro angu ebasa akanga akaoma. Ndakapererwa, ndakatsamwa. Zvakandinetsa kuti chii chandaifanira kuchinja kuti nditsungirire hupenyu uhu. Zvino ndakazviona ndiri ndega mumba mababa vangu ndichibvisa zvinhu zvavo ndikadonha: Ndakachema ndikava chipoko. Ndakatarisa tarisa ndikaona kuti hapana chainge chisisina musoro. Ndakange ndisisipo. Shamwari yemudzidzisi yakandiudza kuti: "Shaman angati wakarasikirwa nechikamu chemweya wako". Ndakanzwa zvaaireva uye ndakazvipa vhiki yekutangwa mune shamanism, vhiki yangu yekutanga yerusununguko kubva pakuzvarwa kwemwanakomana wangu. Patakatanga kurova ngoma ndakazviona kuti pfungwa dzangu dzave kumba. Uye zvakandipa simba rekubatanazve nemufaro wangu. Ndakanga ndiripo, musimba rangu.
Yakasungirirwa mumuviri wangu zvino, ndinoitarisira, ndinoisa mufaro, kutenderera uye kupfava mairi. Zvese zvakawira mumabhokisi…Kuva mukadzi zvakanyanya hakundiite munhu mudiki, pane kudaro. Funga kuti mukadzi wawakanga uri akafa uye aberekwazve! Mutsara uyu ndiwo wakanditendera kuti ndienderere mberi. Kwenguva refu ndaidavira kuti simba rakanga riri guru. Asi hunyoro isimba zvakare: kusarudza kuvepo kune vaunoda isarudzo zvakare.