Pukunyuka dutu: unganzwisisa sei kuti hazvisi zvese zvakarasika kune vakaroorana vako?

“Mukusuwa nomufaro,” tose tinozvibata nenzira yakasiyana. Asi maitiro edu ndiwo anosarudza kuti vaviri vedu vachaenda kupi. Kana tikaungana kuti tigadzirise matambudziko, isu tinokwanisa zvakanyanya kuchengetedza hukama huchienderera uye huchidzika kupfuura kare. Asi kana tichifanira kurwisana nguva dzose, kana maronda akadzika zvakanyanya uye akawandisa, kunyange mwoyo wakasimba uye une rudo unopinda mungozi yekuputsa dambudziko.

Vazhinji vakaroorana vari kunetsekana kugadzirisa matambudziko avo. Uye kunyange kana vaneta, vanoedza kusarasikirwa netariro yokuti kunzwa kwakambovashanyira kuchadzokera kwavari zvakare.

Zvirwere zvevacheche, kurasikirwa nebasa uye kukakavadzana kwemabasa, kurasikirwa kwevabereki, kuomerwa nevabereki vachembera - zvingaratidzika kwatiri kuti izvi hazvizomboperi. Matambudziko anogona kubatanidza vaviri, asi kana hupenyu hwenyu huri nhevedzano yezvipingamupinyi zvakadaro, munogona kungokanganwana uye kubata chete kana nguva yaenda.

Vakaroorana vanogara pamwe chete, pasinei nokuti kune zvishoma uye zvishoma simba rekuchengetedza hukama, ndivo vanonyanya kukurudzira. Havagoni kusiya zvinhu sezvazviri, asi havatombofungi nezvokugumisa ukama, anodaro chiremba wepfungwa uye nyanzvi yezvehukama Randy Gunther.

Kunzwisisa kuti vari kuswedera pedyo nekupedzisira kunoratidzika kuvapa simba rekupedzisira, nyanzvi inotenda. Uye izvi zvinoreva simba ravo remukati uye kuzvipira kune mumwe. Asi tinganzwisisa sei kana isu tichigona kuchengetedza hukama uye kubuda munhevedzano yekuchinja, kana kunonoka?

Randy Gunther anopa mibvunzo gumi nemiviri yekupindura kuti uone kana vaviri vako vaine mukana.

1. Unonzwira mumwe wako tsitsi here?

Unganzwa sei kana mumwe wako akarwara? Zvakadini kana mudzimai akarasikirwa nebasa rake? Sezvineiwo, vaviri vadyidzani, kana vachipindura mubvunzo uyu, vanofanirwa kunetseka nezve mumwe pakungofunga kwechinhu chakadaro.

2. Kana mudiwa wako akakusiya, unozozvidemba here kana kurerukirwa?

Dzimwe nguva zvinoratidzika kwatiri kuti isu hatichagone kushivirira zvese zvisina kunaka zvatinogamuchira muhukama. Zvichida, vachipindura mubvunzo uyu, vamwe pakupedzisira vanobvuma kutendeseka kwavari: zvichava nyore kwavari kana mudzimai akangoerekana "anyangarika". Panguva imwecheteyo, kana iwe ukavakumbira kuti vafunge nezveramangwana riri kure, nzvimbo yekuzorodza ichatorwa nekurwadziwa kwechokwadi kubva pakurasikirwa nemudiwa.

3. Iwe uchanzwa zvakanaka kana iwe ukasiya kumashure kwekubatana kwakapfuura?

Nharaunda yemagariro, vana pamwe chete, zviwanikwa, tsika, zvinokuvaraidza… Ko kana waifanira kusiya zvese zvawai“tora” mazviri semurume nemukadzi mumakore apfuura? Uchanzwa sei kana ukagumisa zvakapfuura?

4. Unofunga kuti zvingava nani pasina mumwe?

Avo vari pedyo nekuparadzana nemumwe wavo kazhinji havagoni kuziva kana vari kumhanya kubva kuhupenyu hwekare, hunosemesa kana kuti vachiri kuenda kune chimwe chinhu chitsva uye chinokurudzira. Zvinonyanya kukosha kupindura mubvunzo uyu kana iwe usingazive kuti iwe "uchakodzera" sei mudiwa mutsva muhupenyu hwako.

5. Pane here makwapa akasviba mune zvawakagovana kare asingagone kupendwa?

Zvinoitika kuti mumwe wevakaroorana akaita chimwe chinhu chisingawanzoitiki, uye pasinei nekuedza kwewaakaroorana naye kana mudzimai wake kuti akanganwe pamusoro pezvakaitika uye kuenderera mberi, nyaya iyi haina kudzimwa mundangariro. Izvi, zvekutanga, zvekupandukira, asiwo nezvezvimwe zvipikirwa zvakaputsika zvakare (kwete kunwa, kurega zvinodhaka, kupa nguva yakawanda kumhuri, nezvimwewo). Nguva dzakadaro dzinoita kuti ukama husagadzikana, hunetese chisungo pakati pevanhu vane rudo.

6. Unokwanisa here kudzora maitiro ako kana watarisana nezvinokonzeresa kubva kare?

Vakaroorana vari kutarisana nezvinetso zvakakomba uye vakapedza nguva yakawanda vachirwira kuroorana vanganyanya kugumbuka nemashoko uye maitiro. Akangotarisa iwe ne "zvakafanana" kutarisa - uye iwe pakarepo unoputika, kunyange zvazvo iye asati atombotaura chero chinhu. Zvinyadzi zvinomuka kunze kwebhuruu, uye hapana mumwe munhu anogona kuronda kuti kumwe kupopotedzana kwakatanga sei.

Funga nezve kana iwe usingakwanisi kuita nenzira yakajairwa kune akadaro "zviratidzo"? Iwe haugone kutiza pamba nekukurumidza kana scandal iri mumhepo? Wakagadzirira kutsvaga nzira itsva uye kutora mutoro wezviito zvako, kunyange kana zvichiita sekuti mumwe wako "anokutsamwisa"?

7. Pane nzvimbo yekuseka nekunakidzwa here muhukama hwenyu?

Humor hwaro hwakasimba hwehukama hwepedyo hupi nohupi. Uye kugona kuseka "mushonga" wakanaka wemaronda atinokuvadza mumwe nemumwe. Kuseka kunobatsira kubata chero, kunyangwe mamiriro akaomarara - hongu, chero isu tisinganyombi uye tisingaite tsinhiro dzinokuvadza mumwe.

Kana muchiri kuseka majokes munonzwisisa mese, mukagona kuseka nemoyo wese pacomedy yegoofy, munogona kuramba muchidanana.

8. Une «imwe nhandare yendege»?

Kunyange mukaramba muchiitira hanya manzwiro emumwe uye muchida mumwe wenyu, hukama hwekunze hunotyisidzira hukama hwenyu. Zvinosuruvarisa, unyoro, tsika uye ruremekedzo hazvigoni kutsungirira muedzo wekuda munhu mutsva. Hukama hwenyu hwenguva refu hunoratidzika kunge hwapera nemamiriro ekunze ekutarisira kudanana kutsva.

9. Mese muri vaviri mune mhosva here?

Patinopomera mumwe uye tichiramba chikamu chedu chemutoro wezviri kuitika pakati pedu, isu «baya banga muhukama,» nyanzvi ine chokwadi. Anoyeuchidza kuti kutarisisa kwechokwadi kukubatsira kwako kune zvakakuvadza mubatanidzwa wako kunodikanwa kuti ichengetedzwe.

10. Une ruzivo rwokurarama nomudambudziko here?

Wakambosangana nematambudziko here muhukama hwekare? Unokurumidza kudzoka shure mushure mezviitiko zvakaoma here? Unozviona wakadzikama mupfungwa here? Kana mumwe wevadyidzani ari kutarisana nenguva dzakaoma, anowanzo "sendamira" pahafu yake. Uye kana iwe uine ruzivo rwakakosha uye wakagadzirira kukweretesa pfudzi mumamiriro edambudziko, izvi zvinotosimbisa zvakanyanya chinzvimbo chemhuri yako, Randy Gunther anotenda.

11. Pane here matambudziko api naapi muhupenyu hwako awakagadzirira kugadzirisa mese?

Dzimwe nguva hukama hwako hunotambura nezviitiko zvekunze izvo iwe kana mudiwa wako usina mhosva. Asi izvi zviitiko zvekunze zvinogona "kudzikisa kusadzivirirwa" kwekubatana kwako, nyanzvi inoyambira. Matambudziko emari, kurwara kwevadikani, kuomerwa nevana - zvese izvi zvinotinetesa mupfungwa uye nemari.

Kuti uchengetedze hukama, unofanirwa kuve wakajeka nezve izvo zviitiko zvisingashande kwauri iwe nemumwe wako, uye izvo zvamungaite imi vaviri kuvandudza hupenyu hwenyu. Tsika yekutora mutoro wakazara wekugadzirisa matambudziko unogona kukutungamirira kune dambudziko rakakomba - kwete mhuri chete, asiwo iwe pachako.

12. Muri kutarisira kuonana here?

Mhinduro kumubvunzo uyu kazhinji inoburitsa pachena. Patinenge tichirwadziwa, tichatsvaka tsigiro nenyaradzo kubva kune vari pedyo nevatinoda, anodaro Randy Gunther. Uye kunyange kana, nekufamba kwenguva, isu zvakare tichibva kune imwe, zvingangoita kuti pane imwe nguva isu tichiri kutanga kufinhwa uye kutsvaga kambani yake.

Iwe unogona kubvunza mibvunzo iri pamusoro kwete iwe pachako, asiwo kune mumwe wako. Uye iyo yakawanda machisi mumhinduro dzako, inowedzera mukana wekuti kwauri semurume nemukadzi, hazvisi zvese zvakarasika. Pashure pezvose, mumwe nomumwe wemibvunzo 12 yakavakirwa pashoko riri nyore uye rinonzwisisika: “Handidi kurarama pasina iwe, ndapota usakanda mapfumo pasi!”, Randy Gunter ane chokwadi.

Nezve Nyanzvi: Randy Gunther ndiye Clinical Psychologist uye Hukama Nyanzvi.