Vana vane utsinye

Mafungiro emwana mambo

Pasi pemweya wake mudiki weSaint, mwana wako mudiki anokunyengedza kuburikidza nehutsinye hwepfungwa uye anonzwa kuti atora masimba! Haachateereri mirairo yehupenyu pamba, anopengeswa nekusvotwa zvishoma. Zvakaipisisa, mamiriro ose ezuva nezuva anopera mumutambo, nechirango uye unonzwa uine mhosva nguva dzose. Usavhunduka, zviudze izvozvo vana vanoda ganhuriro dzakajeka uye mitemo kuti vakure mukuwirirana. Zvakanakira ivo pachavo uye hupenyu hwavo hwemangwana revakuru. Iri pakati pemakore matatu ne3 apo mwana anoziva kuti haasi simba rose uye kuti kune mitemo yehupenyu kumba, kuchikoro, mupaki, muchidimbu munzanga, mukuremekedza.

Mwana ane hudzvinyiriri wemumba chii?

Kune nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Didier Pleux, munyori we "Kubva kumwana mambo kusvika kumudzvinyiriri wemwana", mwana mambo anofanana nemwana wemhuri dzemazuva ano, mwana "akagadziriswa": ane zvinhu zvose pamwero wezvinhu uye anodiwa uye anoputirwa.

Mwana ane utsinye anoratidza kutonga vamwe uye, kunyanya, pamusoro pevabereki vake. Haazviisi pasi pemutemo chero upi zvake wehupenyu uye anowana zvaanoda kubva kuna Amai naBaba.

Yakajairika chimiro: egocentric, anotora mukana weropafadzo, haatsigire kuvhiringidzika, anotsvaga mafaro nekukurumidza, haaremekedze vamwe, haazvibvunzi, haabatsiri kumba ...

Mwana mambo, mudzvanyiriri weramangwana?

Takeover

Vana vanodzvinyirirwa kazhinji havaiti zviito zvakakomba. Kunyanya kukunda kuduku pachiremera chevabereki kunounganidzwa zuva nezuva kunosaina simba ravo rose. Uye apo vanobudirira mukutora simba pamusha, vabereki vanoramba vachizvibvunza vamene nzira yokururamisa nayo mugariro wacho? Vanogona kutsanangura, kukurukura, hapana chinobatsira!

Dzidzisa pasina kunzwa uine mhosva

Zvidzidzo pamusoro penyaya iyi nenyanzvi dzepfungwa zvinowanzonongedza kune a kushomeka kwedzidzof mukati mechikwata chemhuri mangwanani-ngwanani. Mamiriro ezvinhu akareruka, apo vabereki vasina kuita nokuda kwekushaya nguva kana kuti nokuzvitaurira "iye muduku zvikuru, haanzwisisi", siya mwana ane manzwiro e "chero chinhu chinoenda"! Anonzwa ari musimba rimwe chete revana vadiki, kwaanoda kudzora vabereki vake kuita chero chinhu!

Sezvo nyanzvi yepfungwa Didier Pleux anotiyeuchidza, Kana mwana ane makore 9 kana gumi akatyora chitoyi chake chaanofarira mushure menguva yehasha, anofanira kukwanisa kutarisana nemhinduro yakakodzera kubva kuvabereki vake. Kana toyi ikatsiviwa neyakafanana kana kugadzirwa, hapana chirango chine chekuita nemaitiro ayo akawandisa.

Mhinduro yakafanira zvikuru ingava yokuti mubereki amuite mutoro kupfurikidza nokumutsanangurira kuti anofanira kutora rutivi mukutsiviwa kwetoyi, somuenzaniso. Mwana anonzwisisa kuti akadarika muganhu, pane maitiro uye chirango kubva kumunhu mukuru.

Tyrant Child Syndrome: Ari Kukuedza!

Muzviito zvake, mwana anodzvinyirira anoedza uye anotsvaka ganhuriro kupfurikidza nokutsamwisa vabereki vake! Anomirira kurambidzwa kudonha kuti amusimbise. Ane pfungwa yekuti zvaachangobva kuita hazvina kupihwa mvumo ... Uye ipapo, kana ukapotsa mukana wekuzvidzosa, haangozokunda chete, asi infernal denderedzwa inogona kugara zvishoma nezvishoma. Uye ndiko kukwira matombo!

Asi usazvirove zvakanyanya, hapana chinopera. Iwe unongoda kuziva izvi munguva yekugadzirisa pfuti. Zviri kwauri kuti udzose chiyero chechiremera nechaiyo chimiro: mwana wako anofanira kukwanisa “kuzviisa” zvishoma nezvishoma kune zvimwe zvipingamupinyi paanopfuura miganhu yako yedzidzo.

Chinja kune chokwadi

Tonga maitiro emwana anodzvinyirira zuva nezuva

Kazhinji, usati wafunga kubvunza pedopsy, zvakanaka kugadzirisa maitiro madiki anotadza ehupenyu hwezuva nezuva. Kusvika kwehama duku, mamiriro ezvinhu matsva apo mwana anogona kunzwa asiyiwa, dzimwe nguva anokurudzira rudzi urwu rwekuita kamwe kamwe. Iye anogona kuzvitaura kunze kwokukwevera ngwariro yako kwaari, kupfurikidza nokuzviisa amene mumatunhu ake ose, kupfurikidza nokushora zuva rose! Iko kuburikidza nekudzokorora mhinduro dzakafanana uye kunamatira kwavari kuti mwana anodzidza kutarisana negadziriro inosimbisa, mutemo wemunhu mukuru unodiwa pakuzvitonga kwake.

Hunhu huri kuvakwa

Yeuka kuti iwe uri pamberi muhukama hwayo kune vanhu vakuru uye mitemo yehupenyu hwemagariro evanhu. Mwana ari mushishi yekukura mupfungwa uye munzanga, anonyurawo munzvimbo yaanoda mareferensi kuti anyatsomunzwisisa uye kuti atarise zvaanogona kana zvaasingagoni kuita.

Anofanira kukwanisa kutarisana nechimiro chaicho mumhuri yake chikoko, nzvimbo yekutanga yekuedza inoshanda sereferensi yekudzidza zvinorambidzwa uye zvinogoneka. Zvinokwanisika kunzwa uchidiwa nekutarisana nekurambidzwa! Kunyangwe iwe uchitya kuti ucharamba uchipokana, pakutanga, batisisa! Zvishoma nezvishoma, mwana wako anowana pfungwa yemuganhu uye zvichaenda zvirinani kana zvirango zvikadzokororwa, zvinozopatsanurwa nekufamba kwenguva.

Chiremera chisina udzvinyiriri

Ndiani anosarudza?

Inguva yako ! Mwana wako anofanira kunzwisisa kuti vabereki ndivo vanosarudza! Kunze kwechokwadi kana zvasvika pakusarudza ruvara rwejuzi rako semuenzaniso: pane musiyano pakati pekumumanikidza kupfeka jira munguva yechando, nekuda kwehutano hwake uye kumira paari nekuda kweruvara rwejuzi ...

Vana vanofanira kunzwa kuti vava kuzvimiririra. Vanofanirawo kurota, kubudirira mumhuri inovabatsira kuti vazvimirire. Zviri kwauri kuti uwane kuwirirana pakati pechiremera chinodiwa, pasina kuwira muhudzvanyiriri.

"Kuziva kumirira, kufinhwa, kunonoka, kuziva kubatsira, ruremekedzo, kuziva kurwisa uye kuzvidzora kuti uwane mhedzisiro zvinhu zvekuvakwa kwehunhu hwechokwadi", sezvinotsanangurwa nenyanzvi yepfungwa Didier Pleux.

Vatarisana nezvinodikanwa zviri pose pose zvomudzvinyiriri wavo muduku, vabereki vanofanira kuramba vakangwarira. Anenge makore matanhatu ekuzvarwa, mwana achiri muchikamu chekuzvifunga chaanotsvaga pamusoro pezvose kugutsa zvishuwo zvake zvidiki. Pane-inoda kutenga, à la carte menyu, varaidzo uye varaidzo yevabereki inodiwa, anogara achida zvimwe!

Chii chekuita uye kuti ungaita sei kumwana ane udzvinyiriri uye kuwanazve kutonga?

Vabereki vane kodzero uye basa rekungoyeuka "haugone kuva nazvo zvese", uye usazeze kubvisa mamwe maropafadzo madiki kana miganhu yayambuka! Haadi kutevedzera mutemo wehupenyu hwemhuri, anonyimwa zororo kana basa rinonakidza.

Pasina kunzwa ane mhosva, mubereki anogadzira gadziriro yakarongeka nekumutumira meseji yakajeka: kana mwana akapfachukira nechiito chakatsauka, chokwadi chinotora uye chiito chakasimba chinouya kuzosimbisa kuti haagoni kuramba asingateereri.

Mushure memakore 9, mwana anodzvinyirira anowedzera muukama nevamwe, kwaanofanira kurega zvishoma kuti awane nzvimbo yake mumapoka aanosangana nawo. Munguva yake yekusununguka, kuchikoro, shamwari dzevabereki vake, mhuri, muchidimbu vanhu vakuru vose vaanosangana navo vanomuyeuchidza kuti haangozviraramire iye pachake!

Iye mwana, kwete munhu mukuru!

Dzidziso dze“psy”

Kune rimwe divi, tinowana psychoanalysts, mukumuka kwaFrançoise Dolto yemakore ekuma70, mwana paanozoonekwa semunhu akazara. Iyi dzidziso yechimurenga inotevera kubva muzana ramakore rakapfuura, makore umo vechidiki vaive nekodzero shoma, vaishanda sevakuru uye vaisakosheswa zvachose!

Tinogona chete kufara nekufambira mberi uku!

Asi chimwe chikoro chomufungo, chakabatanidzwa zvikuru kumufambiro nedzidzo, chinonongedzera kumiuyo yakashata yechakapfuura. Kunyanya kukanganwa uye kushungurudzwa muzana remakore rapfuura, takabva kumwana "pasina kodzero" kuenda kumwana mambo we2000s...

Nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzakadai saDidier Pleux, Christiane Olivier, Claude Halmos, pakati pevamwe, vave vachikurudzira kwemakore mashomanana imwe nzira yekufunga nezvemwana uye kudarika kwake: kudzokera ku "chinyakare" nzira dzedzidzo, asi nedosi yekutsanangura uye pasina yakakurumbira nhaurirano dzisingaperi. izvo vabereki vajaira ivo vasingazive!

Maitiro ekugamuchira: haasi iye anosarudza!

Iyo yakakurumbira "anogara achida zvakawanda" inogara ichinzwika mumahofisi e "shrinks".

Sosaiti inowedzera kutaura kumwana pachake mukukurukurirana kwake kwezuva nezuva, iwe unongofanira kutarisa mameseji ekushambadzira! Vana vadiki vanova ivo vanoita sarudzo pakutenga kwese midziyo yemumba.

Dzimwe nyanzvi dziri kuridza mabhero. Ivo vanogashira vabereki naMambo wavo mudiki mukubvunzana kare uye kare. Neraki, zvinogara zvakakwana kugadzirisa mashoma akashata reflexes kumba kudzivirira coup zvachose!

Zano kuvabereki: sarudza nzvimbo yavo pachavo

Saka, ndeipi nzvimbo yekupa mwana mumhuri? Vabereki vanofanira kuwanazve nzvimbo ipi nokuda kwomufaro wezuva nezuva? Mhuri yakafanira haipo hongu, kwete kunyange mwana akakodzera nokuda kwenhau iyoyo. Asi chokwadi ndechokuti mubereki anofanira kuva mbiru nguva dzose, nongedzero yomunhu muduku ari kuvaka.

Mwana haasi mukuru, iye munhu mukuru mukugadzira, uye pamusoro pezvose ramangwana teenager ! Nguva yekuyaruka inowanzova nguva yemanzwiro makuru, kuvabereki uye kumwana. Mitemo yakawanikwa kusvika zvino ichaedzwa zvakare! Nokudaro vane chido chokuva vakasimba uye vagayiwe ... Vabereki vanofanira kukwanisa kupa kumwana wavo rudo neruremekedzo rukuru sezvavanenge vaine mitemo kuitira kuti vasvike panguva ino yekuchinja nehupenyu hwevanhu vakuru hwakavamirira.

Saka, hongu, tinogona kuzvitaura: vana vane udzvinyiriri, zvakwana zvino!

Books

"Kubva kumwana Mambo kusvika kumwana mudzvinyiriri", Didier Pleux (Odile Jacob)

“Vana vamambo, musafe zvakare!” , Christiane Olivier (Albin Michel)

"Chiremera chakatsanangurwa kuvabereki", naClaude HALMOS (Nil Editions)