Sei vanhu vachitora masimba?

“Nguva pfupi yapfuura ndakanzi nditungamirire dhipatimendi racho. Ndakamirira kwemwedzi, uye ipapo handina kukwanisa kumira - iri ibasa rakadaro, Galina ane makore 32 anobvuma. Wese munhu akamirira imwe sarudzo yakanaka kubva kwandiri. Uye ichi kuzevezera shure kwangu!.. Uye mafungiro kwandiri pamusoro pechikamu chevatungamiri vepamusoro akachinja - vakatanga kukumbira zvakasimba kuzadzikiswa kwemabasa kubva kwandiri. Uye ndakaona kuti iyi nzira yekukurukurirana haigamuchirwi zvachose kwandiri. Kwete, handina kugadzirira kuva mutungamiri. Ndinofarira kunakidzwa nekushanda munzvimbo yandinonzwisisa nekunzwisisa. Kwandinenge ndiri, ndinonzwa senyanzvi.”

Andrei ane makore makumi matatu nemana ane maitiro akasiyana zvachose nechikumbiro chekutungamira dhipatimendi mune imwe kambani hombe. "Ndakashanda semaneja wepakati kwenguva yakareba, ndakanzwisisa nzira yekudyidzana mukambani uye ndikanzwa kuti ndinogona kuivandudza uye kusimudza chikamu cheyuniti kune imwe nhanho. Ini pachangu ndakakurudzira kukwikwidza kwangu kuna director. Kwandiri, aya mabasa eshungu, uye ndinoafarira.”

Sergey ane makore makumi mana, maererano nevaanodzidza navo, akachinja zvikuru - akapinda mubato rezvematongerwo enyika uye akatora chikamu mumasarudzo emunharaunda muguta rake. "Kazhinji, takashamiswa zvikuru: aigara akanyarara, asingaratidzi hunhu hwehutungamiriri. Zvino tinozoona kuti ari kuvavarira kuva vatevedzeri. Akawana mota, secretary and other attributes of power. Iye zvino anotaurirana nesu zvakanyanya kashoma - zvekutaura nezve auto mechanic uye IT mainjiniya? - Anonyunyuta shamwari yake ichangoburwa Ilya.

Nei tiine manzwiro akasiyana kudaro pamusoro pesimba uye nei tichiriwana?

Muripo uye kutya kusurukirwa

"Iye psychoanalyst, neo-Freudian Karen Horney, mune zvaakanyora, akakamura chishuwo chesimba kuita chinowanzoitika uye neurotic. Nezvinojairika, zvese zviri pachena. Asi akabatanidza neurotic nekushaya simba, achitenda kuti vanhu vanotsvaga muripo mukushuva kwavo kutonga, - anotsanangura anotsanangura psychotherapist Marik Khazin. — Ndakashanda zvakanyanya nemamaneja ematanho akasiyana uye ndinogona kutaura kuti vese vanosundwa nezvikonzero zvakasiyana. Uye zvechokwadi, kune vazhinji avo, kuburikidza nechinzvimbo kana chimiro, vanogadzirisa dambudziko rekushaya simba - mhedzisiro yekuremara kwemuviri, kuzvivenga, kunetseka, kurwara.

Nyaya yaHorney inofadza. Akazviona seakashata, kunyange akashata, uye akasarudza: sezvo asingakwanisi kuva akanaka, achave akachenjera. Munhu akaita sarudzo yakadaro anomanikidzwa kugara ari muchimiro chakanaka, kuvanza kusava nesimba kwake, kushaya simba uye kuderera uye kuratidza kunyika kuti ari nani pane zvaanofunga nezvake uye izvo nyika inofunga nezvake.

Vamwe vanhu vanotsvaga kutsiva manzwiro avo ekuderera kuburikidza nekuita zvepabonde, sezvakanyorwa naAlfred Adler. Asi kwete chete. Simba, maererano neAdler, zvakare inzira yekudzosera uye kubatanidza kukosha kwemunhu kuburikidza nayo. Ukoshi hwakazara, zvakare, hunoumbwa mukuyaruka.

“Aifunga kuti wechiduku anofanira kupanduka, uye basa romubereki ndere kutsigira kupikisa kwake. Munharaunda dzehudzvanyiriri, mumhuri dzehudzvanyiriri, vabereki vanomisa kuratidzira, - anotsanangura Marik Khazin, - uye nekudaro vanosimbisa nzvimbo dzake. Nekuda kweizvozvo, "mania yekusakosha," sezvandinoidaidza, inowedzerwa. Vese vatongi vehudzvanyiriri, mumaonero angu, vakakurira mbiriso yeuduku hwakaoma, sezvo vairambidzwa kuratidza uye kutaura ivo pachavo. Zvinorehwa nekupandukira kwevechiri kuyaruka ndezvekupikisa uye kuzivisa rusununguko rwavo - "Ndine kodzero yekurarama sezvandinoda uye ndine maonero angu." Uye vanoti kwaari: “Usapopotera baba. Iwe haugone kusimudza izwi rako kuna amai vako."

Uye wechidiki anodzvinyirira kupandukira kwake, uye rimwe zuva, zvikuru gare gare, iye achaputsa nenzira isingatarisirwi zvachose, dzimwe nguva pathological, fomu. Uye ipapo kudiwa kwekuda kutonga kunobvisa kugona kutaura nevamwe pachiyero cheziso, anodaro Marik Khazin. Hazvikubvumiri iwe kugamuchira mumwe nemafungiro ake akasiyana uye zvaanoda.

Chii chinokonzera utera? Dzimwe nguva - kutya kusurukirwa, sezvakanyora Erich Fromm mudzidziso yake yesimba. “Aidavira kuti kuda simba kunokonzerwa nokutya uye kudzivisa kusurukirwa, kuzviparadzanisa nevamwe,” anotsanangura kudaro Marik Khazin. — Iyi ipfungwa yakarurama: munhu anotya kusurukirwa. Kana ndichinyara, ndinosurukirwa. Iwe unofanirwa kuve mutungamiriri, ukurisa divi rako rakasimba - uve mutauri, zadzisa chinangwa chako pachikuva kana muparamende. Pane vavariro inosuruvarisa muchishuvo ichi chokuva nengwariro yomumwe munhu. Anoshandura imwe kuita basa, inomuita kuti ashumire zvaanoda uye anoshandura kutonga - imwe yemasimba ane simba.

Dzimwe nguva chido chemasimba chinokura masimba makuru anokubvumira kuti uve mutungamiri (semuenzaniso, vatungamiri vezvematongerwo enyika vane mukurumbira). Asi mubvunzo wese ndewekuti aya hyper-hunhu anoshandiswa chii.

"Panzvimbo yekutsvaga kubudirira, kusungirira maodha uye mabhandi emapfudzi, kuwana zvimiro zvitsva, kutenga mota nyowani, dzimba, unofanirwa kuziva kuti pakupedzisira isu tichasara tisina chinhu," anodaro Marik Khazin. Jung akatenda kuti isu tinova neurotic nekuti isu tinogutsikana nemhinduro dzisina kukwana kumibvunzo iyo hupenyu hunoisa kwatiri. Tinoda zvekunamata, akatenda kudaro. Uye ndinobvumirana naye zvachose. "

Simba nesimba hazvina kufanana

Ngatidzokerei kuna Karen Horney, uyo aitenda kuti chishuwo chesimba chesimba chinoreva kuziva uye kuva nechishandiso chekuzadzisa chimwe chinangwa. Mhosva inotsanangurwa negamba redu Andrey inongoratidzira mafungiro akadaro kune chinzvimbo sechishandiso chekuwana nhanho nyowani yekuvandudza kwemunhu uye kubudirira kwekambani yakazara. Iye, chokwadi, aigona kuenda munzira Sergei.

“Sezvakataurwa naCarl Jung, mumwe nomumwe wedu ane rutivi rwomumvuri: kutsamwa, godo, ruvengo, chishuvo chokutonga nokudzora vamwe nokuda kwokuzvisimbisa timene,” anotsanangura kudaro Marik Khazin. "Uye iwe unogona kuzviziva iwe pachako uye usarega mimvuri ichitora chiedza chedu.

Semuenzaniso, feminism mukutaura kwayo kwakanyanya kuratidzwa kwekusagadzikana, chido chekukunda mazana emakore ekutonga kwevarume. Uye chii chimwe chingatarisirwa kubva kuvakadzi vane shasha kana varume vakatora masimba?

Uye vakadzi vanomanikidzwa kupaza ichi chivharo chine simba. Kunyangwe vakadzi vari nani vezvematongerwo enyika nevatungamiriri. Vakasununguka uye vanoda kugovera zviwanikwa zvavo. Sarudzo dzichangobva kuitika muIsrael, semuenzaniso, ndakavhotera mukadzi ainakidza uye akasimba kupfuura vamiriri vechirume. Asi, maiwe, haana kupfuura.

Chokwadi vanhukadzi vanototonga nyika, kungoti varume havazvizive. Pane jee rechiJudha. Rabinovich akatakura mudzimai wake navamwene mumotokari.

Mukadzi:

- Rudyi!

Vamwene:

— Kuruboshwe!

— Nekukurumidza!

— Zvishoma!

Rabinovich haakwanisi kumira:

“Chinzwa, Tsilya, handisi kunzwisisa kuti ndiani ari kutyaira motokari – iwe kana amai vako?”

Erich Fromm akasiyanisa pfungwa mbiri - simba uye simba. Unogona kuva nesimba uye usingatsvaki simba. Kana tichinzwa sesu, hatidi simba. Hongu, pane imwe nguva isu tinofadzwa nekuombera nekurumbidza, asi rimwe zuva kuguta kunouya. Uye panoonekwa zvakanyorwa naViktor Frankl - kuzadzikiswa kwezvinoreva kuvapo kwemunhu. Sei ndiri panyika pano? Chii chandichaunza panyika? Ndingazvipfumisa sei pakunamata?

Chero ani anoziva simba rake anonzwisisa kuti anofanira kukudziridza, kuvandudza pachake. Somuenzaniso, saGalina. Vanhu vanokwezvwa nesimba. “Mutungamiriri wechokwadi musimba rake anofanira kuratidza rudo nehanya. Asi kana iwe ukateerera hurukuro dzevezvematongerwo enyika vane mukurumbira, vatungamiriri venyika, haunganzwi chero chinhu nezverudo, - anodaro Marik Khazin. “Rudo chido chokupa. Pandinenge ndisingakwanisi kupa, ndinotanga kutora. Vatungamiri chaivo vanoda vashandi vavo vakagadzirira kudzosera. Uye hazvina kunyanya kudivi rezvinhu. ”

David Clarence McClelland, nyanzvi yezvepfungwa dzekuAmerica, akacherechedza zvikamu zvitatu zvebhizimisi rakabudirira: kubudirira, simba uye kubatana (chishuwo chehukama husina kurongeka, hunodziya). Akanyanya kugadzikana uye akabudirira ndeaya makambani uko ese ari matatu anogadzirwa.

“Simba hakusi kutonga kwevanhu. Kutonga zvinoreva kutonga, kuraira, kutonga, - anotsanangura Marik Khazin. — Ndiri kutonga. Tarisa vatyairi vari munzira. Vatyairi vari mukutonga vanopinirwa, vachibata chidhiraivho, vakazembera mberi. Mutyairi ane chivimbo anogona kutyaira nemunwe mumwe, anogona kurega chidhiraivho, haatyi mugwagwa. Zvimwe chetezvo ndezvechokwadi mubhizimisi nemhuri. Kuve munhaurirano, kutonga, kwete kutonga, kugovana mabasa, kutaurirana. Kune ungwaru zvikuru kukudziridza mavara aya matiri muupenyu hwedu hwose, nokuti hatina kuberekwa nawo.”