Vana vose vakasiyana, uye nzira dzokurera nadzo dzinoshanda kune mumwe dzinogona kusashanda kune mumwe. Asi zvakadaro, mamwe maitiro anogona kuteverwa. Mubhuku rinonzi “Children from Heaven. The Art of Positive Parenting, American psychologist John Grey anozivisa marudzi mana ehunhu hwevana uye, zvinoenderana, nzira ina dzekutaurirana nevana.
Basa guru reJohn Grey methodology nderokubatsira vabereki kurera nhengo yakasununguka, inofara uye yakasununguka munharaunda. Uye nokuda kweizvi, munyori anotenda, vabereki vanofanira kudzidza kutaurirana nemwana, vachifunga nezvezvimwe zvehutano hwake.
Mwana wega wega akasiyana uye haadzokororwe. Munhu wese ane maitiro, zvaanogona, zvaanoda nezvaanofarira. Vabereki vanofanira kuziva izvi uye kwete kuwira mukuora mwoyo kana mwanakomana kana mwanasikana wavo akasiyana zvikuru nevana veshamwari dzavo, vakoma nehanzvadzi dzakura. Mudzidzo, kuenzanisa hakugamuchirwi.
Pamusoro pezvo, munyori anokurudzira kushandisa nzira dzakasiyana dzekurera vanasikana nevanakomana. Muchidimbu, pfungwa iyi inogona kuderedzwa kune chirevo "kutarisira vasikana, kuvimba nevakomana". Vasikana vanoda chaizvo kuremekedza, kuva nehanya. Asi vakomana vanoda kuvimbwa, vachipa rusununguko rwakawanda.
Nekusarudza rudzi rwehunhu hwemwana, unogona kuvaka kutaurirana kunobudirira naye. Asi ramba uchiyeuka kuti kushatirwa hakusi nguva dzose kuratidzwa muchimiro chayo chakachena. Dzimwe nguva kusanganiswa kweviri kana kunyange katatu kunogoneka - ipapo mwana anozvibata zvakasiyana zvachose kunyange mumamiriro ezvinhu akafanana.
1. Inonzwisisa
Emotionally fragile, anotapurika uye anonzwira hunhu mhando. Kunyunyuta chimwe chehunhu hwemwana akadaro. Vana vanonzwa vanoda kunzwirwa tsitsi, kucherechedzwa kwezviitiko zvavo uye zvichemo.
Ipa mwana wako mukana wokugoverana nhamo dzake, uye iye achakurumidza kunzwa zviri nani. Chikanganiso chikuru ndechekuedza kufadza mwanakomana kana mwanasikana ane hanya. Izvi zvinonyanya kutungamirira kune mhedzisiro inopesana - mwana anozonyanya kuisa pfungwa pane zvakaipa.
Kutaurirana. Vana vakadaro vanoita zvakasimba kumamiriro ezvinhu ane chokuita nezvido zvavo uye zvavanoda. Kazhinji vanopindura kuramba nemisodzi uye panguva imwe chete vakagadzirira kubatira pamwe apo vanogona kuteererwa uye kunzwisiswa. Mwana anonzwisisa anoda ngwariro huru, vabereki vanofanira kumubetsera kuita shamwari pakati pavaenzani vake.
Nerutsigiro rwevakuru, vana vane hanya vanova vashoma, vanowedzera kufara uye vanoshingaira.
2. Active
Vana vakadaro vanonyanya kufarira kukwanisa kupesvedzera nyika yakavapoteredza. Vanoedza kuita chiito uye kuwana zvibereko. Vane magadzirirwo evatungamiriri kubva pakuzvarwa, vanoda kuve munzvimbo inotaridzika.
Zvisinei, kune vana vanoshingaira, unoda kuisa miganhu pakarepo, kana zvisina kudaro vanokurumidza kupfuura izvo zvinobvumirwa uye vanodzivisa zvisarudzo zvevanhu vakuru.
Vana vane hunhu hwakadaro vanofanira kugara vachiyeuka kuti mubereki ndiye achiri kutonga. Asi mune mamwe mamiriro ezvinhu, iwe unofanirwa kurega mwana anoshanda achitungamira.
Kutaurirana. Vana vakadaro vanotapurwa zvakanaka nemitambo yetimu vachitarisirwa nomurairidzi akachenjera. Zvinonyanya kukosha kuti usakanganwa kukurudzira chido chemwana kuti abudirire. Zvinokosha kuti azive kuti vanotenda maari, obva aratidza unhu hwake hwakanakisisa. Asi vana vakadaro vanotsungirira zvakaoma kusaita chiito. Havadi kumirira kana kumira mumutsetse. Naizvozvo, panguva yechidzidzo chinofinha, zviri nani kuti uuye nekukurumidza nemutambo kana imwe varaidzo.
Vana vanoshingaira vanoonana zviri nyore kana vakapiwa hurongwa hwekuita: “Kutanga tinoenda kuchitoro. Unotofanira kuva nemoyo murefu zvishoma. Asi isu tichaenda kupaki, uye iwe unogona kutamba." Nokufamba kwenguva, vana vakadaro vanova vakasununguka, vakagadzirira kushandira pamwe uye kubvumirana.
3. Reactive
Vana vakadaro vanowanzoshamwaridzana uye vane ushamwari kupfuura vezera ravo. Zvakakosha kuti ivo vabatane nevamwe, vanogara vachidzidza maitiro kune maitiro avo. Panguva imwecheteyo, ivo vakazaruka kune mitsva yekunzwa uye manzwiro.
Vanoedza kuona, kunzwa uye kuona zvakanyanya sezvinobvira uye vanoda shanduko. Nokuda kweizvi, dzimwe nguva zvakaoma kuti mwana anoshingaira kuisa pfungwa dzake, kuunza rimwe bhizinesi kumagumo. Vanoda kukurudzirwa nguva dzose uye nhungamiro yakajeka inobva kumubereki.
Kutaurirana. Chinonyanya kukosha ndechekuchinja nguva dzose kwebasa. Enda zvakanyanya nemwana akadaro kunzvimbo itsva dzekutamba, mamiziyamu nemitambo yemitambo, tarisa makatuni uye uverenge mabhuku. Uyezve: mwana akadaro ari nyore kushandura uye kukwezva nechimwe chinhu. Vanoda kubatsira vabereki vavo mumabasa matsva. Zviri nyore "Ngatiitei chimwe chinhu chinonakidza izvozvi ..." zvakakwana, uye iye zvino mwana ari kubatsira kubika makuki kana vacuum.
Zvakakosha kuyeuka kuti vana vanoshingaira vanochinja-chinja uye vanokurumidza kufinhwa. Panguva imwe cheteyo, kana vawana basa sezvavanoda, vanowanzova vanoshingaira zvikuru uye vanozvidzora.
4. Anogamuchira
Zvakakosha kuti vana vanogamuchira vanzwisise zvichaitika munguva inotevera uye kuti chii chekutarisira kubva mangwana. Kufanotaura kwakakosha kuvana vane hukasha uhu.
Vanoda nguva yekugadzirira uye kujaira chiitiko chitsva. Naizvozvo, hapana chikonzero iwe unofanirwa kuvamhanyisa kana kuvatsiura nekuda kwekunonoka. Somuenzaniso, munhandare, mwana anogamuchira anopinda mumutambo wacho pashure pokunge aucherechedza uye anzwisisa mitemo yawo.
Kutaurirana. Mwana akadaro anoda kugadzirisa mabasa, tsika, zuva nezuva uye kutsigirwa kwevabereki mubhizinesi idzva zvakakosha kwaari. Pasina iyo, mwana haakwanisi kuwana chero zvaanofarira zvachose. Zvakamuomera kuti abude munzvimbo yake yekunyaradza. Kuti ukurudzire mwana wako kuita chimwe chinhu, tanga wamurega achikuona uchichiita. Tsanangura zvakadzama kuti chii uye nei. Vana ava vanoda tsanangudzo dzakadzama.
Hapana chikonzero chekubatanidza nechisimba mwanakomana kana mwanasikana muchiito chakafanana. Izvi zvinokonzeresa backlash uye kuramba chisimba. Kunyange zvazvo kazhinji vana vanogamuchira vachigamuchira uye vari nyore kuonana navo, vane ushamwari zvikuru uye vanorangarira. Nokufamba kwenguva, vanogona kuwedzera kushanda.
Nezve munyori: John Grey inyanzvi yepfungwa uye nyanzvi muhukama hwemhuri. Ndiye munyori wemabhuku 17 anotaura nezvehukama hwevanhu, anosanganisira akatengeswa zvakanyanya Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.