Mukati
Paunotadza kunyatso taura maonero ako, pindura mubvunzo usina kugadzikana kana kurwiswa kwehasha neanopindirana, unonzwa usingafadzi. Kuvhiringika, kudzikama, bundu pahuro nepfungwa dzakaoma nechando… Aya ndiwo matsananguriro anoita vanhu vazhinji kusataudzana kwavo kunoenderana nekunyarara kusina kufanira. Zvinokwanisika here kukudziridza kusadzivirirwa mukukurukurirana uye kusarasikirwa nechipo chekutaura panguva yekukurukurirana kwakaoma? Uye kuzviita sei?
Spoech stupor ishoko rinobva kukiriniki psychology inoreva mental pathology. Asi pfungwa imwe chete inowanzoshandiswa kutsanangura maitiro ekutaura anokosha emunhu ane hutano. Uye munyaya iyi, chikonzero chikuru chekuvhiringidzika kwakadaro uye kunyarara kwekumanikidzirwa manzwiro.
Pandinoita kubvunzana pamusoro pekuvharika kwekutaura, ndinonzwa zvichemo zviviri kakawanda kupfuura zvimwe. Vamwe vatengi vanosuwa kuona kuti vaisakwanisa kupindura mupikisi muhurukuro (“Ndakanga ndisingazive chekupindura kune izvi”, “Ndakaramba ndakanyarara. Uye zvino ndave kunetseka”, “Ndinonzwa sekunge ndazvibvumira. pasi”); vamwe vanonetseka kusingaperi pamusoro pekukundikana kunobvira (“Ko kana ndikatadza kupindura mubvunzo?”, “Ko kana ndikataura zvisina musoro?”, “Zvakadiniko kana ndikaratidzika benzi?”).
Kunyange vanhu vane ruzivo rwakakura rwekukurukurirana, avo vane basa rakabatanidzwa nechido chekutaura zvakawanda uye kazhinji, vanogona kutarisana nedambudziko rakadaro.
“Handizivi kuti ndopindura sei pakarepo kune mashoko anorwadza akataurwa kwandiri. Ndinoda kuvhuvhuta uye kuomesa, uye ipapo pamatanho ndichafunga zvandaizotaura uye kuti ndingapindura sei, "mukuru ane mukurumbira Vladimir Valentinovich Menshov akambogovana mubvunzurudzo.
Mamiriro ezvinhu akakosha munharaunda: kutaura pachena, nhaurirano nevatengi, mamaneja uye vamwe vanhu vakakosha kwatiri, vanopokana ihurukuro dzakaoma. Ivo vanoratidzirwa nehutsva, kusava nechokwadi uye, hongu, njodzi dzenzanga. Iyo isingafadzi iyo ndiyo njodzi ye "kurasikirwa nechiso".
Zvakaoma kusataura, zvakaoma kunyarara
Runyararo rwepfungwa rwakanyanya kuoma kuvanhu vazhinji kunyarara kwekuziva. Iyi inguva ipfupi yechiitiko chepfungwa panguva yatiri kuyedza kutsvaga zvemukati uye chimiro chemhinduro yedu kana chirevo. Uye hatigoni kuzviita nokukurumidza. Panguva dzakadai, tinonzwa takasununguka zvakanyanya.
Kana kunyarara kwakadaro kukatora masekonzi mashanu kana kupfuura panguva yekukurukurirana uye kutaura, kazhinji kunotungamirira kukukundikana kwekukurukurirana: kunoparadza kuonana, kuvhiringidza muteereri kana vateereri, uye kunowedzera kukakavara kwemukati wemutauri. Somugumisiro, izvi zvose zvinogona kukanganisa chimiro cheuyo anotaura, uye ipapo kuzvikudza kwake.
Pachivanhu chedu, kunyarara kunoonekwa sekurasikirwa kwekutonga mukukurukurirana uye hakuonekwe sechipo. Kana tichienzanisa, mutsika dzechiJapani, kunyarara, kana kuti timmoku, inzira yakanaka yekutaurirana inosanganisira kugona kutaura “pasina mazwi.” Mukati metsika dzokuMadokero, kunyarara kunowanzoonekwa sokurasikirwa, gakava rinosimbisa kukundikana kwomunhu amene nokusagona kwake. Kuti uchengetedze chiso, tarisa seunyanzvi, unoda kupindura nokukurumidza uye zvakarurama, chero kunonoka mukutaura hakugamuchirwi uye kunoonekwa seunhu husina kukwana. Muchokwadi, dambudziko rekudonha harisi padanho rekugona, asi rakadzika zvakanyanya.
Kunyarara kunoitika kwete mukutaura, asi mupfungwa
Mumwe weshamwari dzangu akambotaura kuti chinhu chakanyanya kumuomera inhaurirano nevamwe vandinoshanda navo panguva yemapati emakambani. Kana vanhu vazhinji vasina kujairika vakaungana patafura imwe uye munhu wese anotanga kugovera ruzivo rwemunhu: ndiani uye kupi akazorora, ndiani uye nezvavakaverenga, akatarisa ...
“Uye pfungwa dzangu,” anodaro, “dzinoita sedzakaoma nechando kana kuti hadzikwanisi kumira murukova rwakabatana. Ndinotanga kutaura ndozoerekana ndarasika, cheni inobvaruka ... ndinoenderera mberi nehurukuro nekunetseka, ndinogumburwa, sekunge ini pachangu handina chokwadi chezvandiri kutaura. Handizive kuti sei izvi zvichiitika. ”…
Panguva yekurukurirano inokosha, isina kujairika, kana kuti inotyisidzira chiremera chedu, tinonzwa kushushikana mupfungwa kwakasimba. Iyo emotion regulation system inotanga kutonga iyo cognitive system. Uye izvi zvinoreva kuti mumamiriro ezvinhu ane simba rekushungurudzika mupfungwa, munhu ane zvishoma zvingaita mupfungwa yekufunga, kushandisa ruzivo rwake, kugadzira maketani ekufunga uye kutonga kutaura kwake. Patinenge takashushikana mupfungwa, zvakaoma kuti titaure kunyange nezvezvinhu zviri nyore, tisingatauri nezvekuita basa kana kuti kugutsa mumwe munhu nezvemaonero edu.
Ungazvibatsira sei kutaura
Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa dzemumba Lev Semenovich Vygotsky, uyo akadzidza maitiro ekugadzira zvirevo, akaona kuti chirongwa chedu chekutaura (chii uye sei chatinoronga kutaura) chiri panjodzi zvakanyanya. Iye "akafanana negore rinogona kubuda, kana kuti rinogona kunayisa mazwi." Uye basa remutauri, kuenderera mberi kwedimikira remusayendisiti, kugadzira mamiriro ekunze akakodzera echizvarwa chekutaura. Sei?
Tora nguva yekuzvigadzirisa
Hurukuro dzese dzakabudirira dzinotanga mupfungwa dzevanopindirana kunyangwe vasati vasangana. Kupinda mukukurukurirana kwakaoma nepfungwa dzisina kugadzikana, dzisina kurongeka hakuna hanya. Muchiitiko ichi, kunyange iyo isingakoshi zvakanyanya kunetseka (somuenzaniso, gonhi rakazaruka muhofisi) rinogona kutungamirira kukukundikana kwekukurukurirana kubva uko mukurukuri angasazombopora. Kuti urege kurasika panguva yekukurukurirana kwakaoma kana kuti uwanezve kugona kutaura kana paine stupor, tora maminetsi mashoma kuti uteerere kune wekubata uye kune anopindira. Gara wakanyarara. Zvibvunze mibvunzo iri nyore. Chinangwa chehurukuro yangu ndechei? Kubva pane basa ripi randichataura (amai, pasi, mukuru, mudzidzisi)? Ndine mhosva yei muhurukuro iyi? Ndichataura nani? Chii chinogona kutarisirwa kubva kumunhu uyu kana vateereri? Kuti uzvisimbise mukati, yeuka ruzivo rwako rwakabudirira rwekukurukurirana.
Ita kuti mamiriro acho ezvinhu ave akajairika sezvinobvira
Icho chinhu chitsva chinowanzokonzera kukanganisa kutaura. Mudzidzisi ane ruzivo anogona kutaurirana zvakanaka nevaanoshanda navo kana vadzidzi pamisoro yesainzi, asi pamisoro yakafanana ichavhiringidzika, semuenzaniso, nemushandi anoshanda mufekitari. Mamiriro asina kujairika kana asina kujairika ekukurukurirana (mutsva anopindirana, nzvimbo isina kujairika yekukurukurirana, zvisingatarisirwi kuita kweanopikisa) zvinotungamira mukushushikana kwepfungwa uye, semhedzisiro, kukundikana mukuziva maitiro uye mukutaura. Kuti kuderedze njodzi yekudonha, zvakakosha kuita kuti mamiriro ekutaurirana ave anozivikanwa sezvinobvira. Fungidzira interlocutor, nzvimbo yekukurukurirana. Zvibvunze nezve zvinokwanisika simba majeure, funga nezve nzira dzekubuda nadzo pamberi.
Tarisa ari interlocutor semunhuwo zvake
Pavanenge vachiita hurukuro dzakaoma, vanhu vanowanzopa vatauri vavo masimba makuru: zvichida kuvafungira ("Akanaka kwazvo, akangwara, handisi chinhu kana ndichienzaniswa naye") kana kuvaita dhimoni ("Anotyisa, ane chepfu, anondishuvira." kukuvadza, kundikuvadza "). Mufananidzo wakanyanya kunaka kana kuti wakashata zvakanyanya wemudiwa mundangariro dzemunhu unoshanduka kuita chibatiso chinonyandura uye chinowedzera kuita kwemanzwiro uye chinotungamira munyonganyonga mundangariro uye kuhope.
Kuti urege kuwira pasi pesimba remufananidzo usina kunaka we interlocutor uye pasina kuti usazvinyengedza iwe pachako, zvakakosha kunyatsoongorora muvengi wako. Zviyeuchidze kuti uyu munhuwo zvake ane simba mune dzimwe nzira, asina simba mune dzimwe nzira, ane ngozi mune dzimwe nzira, anobatsira mune dzimwe nzira. Mibvunzo yakakosha ichakubatsira iwe kutarisa kune chaiyo interlocutor. Ndiani ari interlocutor wangu? Chii chinokosha kwaari? Ari kuvavarira kuitei? Inzira ipi yekukurukurirana yaanowanzo shandisa?
Rega pfungwa dzinogadzira kushushikana kwakanyanya kwemoyo
“Pandinoona sokuti handichakwanisi kududzira shoko iri kana iro zvakarurama, kutya kwandinoita kurasika kunowedzera. Uye, chokwadi, ndinovhiringidzika. Uye zvinoitika kuti fungidziro yangu iri kuitika, ”mumwe wevatengi vangu akambotaura. Chizvarwa chezvirevo chirongwa chakaoma chepfungwa chinovharika zviri nyore kungave nepfungwa dzakaipa kana tarisiro dzisiri dzechokwadi.
Kuchengeta mano ako okutaura, kunokosha kutsiva mifungo isingavaki munguva ndokuzvisunungura umene pamutoro usiri madikanwa. Chii chaizvo chinofanira kusiiwa: kubva pamhedzisiro yekutaura ("Ndichataura pasina chikanganiso chimwe"), kubva kune-super-effects ("Tichabvumirana pamusangano wekutanga"), kubva pakuvimba nekuongororwa kwevekunze ("Chii chichaita vanondifunga!”). Paunongozvisunungura pamutoro wezvinhu zvisingatsamiri pauri, zvinova nyore kutaura.
Ongorora nhaurirano nenzira kwayo
Kufungisisa kwakanaka hakungobatsiri kudzidza chiitiko uye kuronga hurukuro inotevera, asi inoshandawo sehwaro hwekuvaka kusatya mukukurukurirana. Vanhu vazhinji vanotaura zvakaipa pamusoro pekutadza kwavo kutaura uye nezvavo sevatori vechikamu mukukurukurirana. “Ndinogara ndichinetseka. Handikwanise kubatanidza mazwi maviri. Ndinokanganisa nguva dzose,” vanodaro. Nokudaro, vanhu vanoumba uye vanosimbisa chimiro chavo pachavo semukurukuri asina kubudirira. Uye kubva pamafungiro akadaro ega hazvibviri kutaura nechivimbo uye pasina kukakavara. Kuzviona kusina kunaka kunotungamirirawo kune chokwadi chokuti munhu anotanga kudzivisa mamiriro ezvinhu akawanda ekukurukurirana, anozvinyima tsika yekutaura - uye anozvifambisa mudenderedzwa rakaipa. Paunenge uchiongorora nhaurirano kana kutaura, zvakakosha kuita zvinhu zvitatu: cherechedza kwete chete izvo zvisina kushanda, asiwo izvo zvakafamba zvakanaka, uyewo tora mhedziso yeramangwana.
Wedzera repertoire yezvinoitika uye mafomula ekutaura maitiro
Mumamiriro ezvinhu anonetsa, zvakaoma kuti isu tigadzire zvirevo zvepakutanga, kazhinji hapana chakakwana chepfungwa cheizvi. Naizvozvo, zvakakosha kuumba bhangi rematauriro emamiriro ezvinhu akaomarara ekutaurirana. Semuenzaniso, unogona kuwana pachine nguva kana kugadzira yako yega nzira dzemhinduro kumibvunzo isingaite, matemplate ekutaura uye majee angave anobatsira kwauri muhurukuro diki, tsananguro matemplate eakaomesesa enyanzvi pfungwa ... Hazvina kukwana kuverenga zvirevo izvi. kwauri kana kuzvinyora pasi. Dzinoda kutaurwa, zvichida mumamiriro ezvinhu chaiwo ekukurukurirana.
Chero, kunyange mukurukuri ane ruzivo, anogona kuvhiringidzwa nemibvunzo isina kugadzikana kana yakaoma, kutaura kwehasha kweanopindira uye kuvhiringidzika kwavo pachavo. Munguva dzekutadza kutaura, zvakanyanya kukosha kupfuura nakare kose kuva kudivi rako, kupa sarudzo kwete kuzvishora, asi kuzvirairo uye kudzidzira. Uye mune iyi kesi, gore rako remifungo zvirokwazvo richanaya pasi mazwi.