Mukati
Wasangana nemurume wezviroto zvako. Asi chimwe chinhu chakakanganisika, uye hukama hahuna kushanda kwenguva yechigumi. Clinical psychologist Susanne Lachman anoputsa zvikonzero nei tichikundikana pamberi perudo.
1. Kusakodzera zviri nani
Zvidzidzo zvekufambidzana pamhepo zvakaratidza kuti isu tinowanzo sarudza shamwari dzatinoona padyo maererano nekukwezva kwekuona, mari, dzidzo, uye hungwaru. Nemamwe mashoko, munhu watinosangana naye anonyanya kuratidza maonero atinozviita. Somuenzaniso, tinozviona sevanhu vakashata kana kuti tinonzwa tine mhaka pamusoro pechimwe chinhu chakaitika kwatiri munguva yakapfuura. Zviitiko izvi zvakaipa zvinopesvedzera kuti ndiani watakagadzirira kana kuti tisina kugadzirira kuswedera pedyo naye.
Kunyange zvazvo dzimwe nguva tichiona zvakaoma kuvimba nemunhu, tichiri kunzwa kuda kwekubatana kwepedyo. Izvi, zvakare, zvinotungamira kune chokwadi chekuti tinopinda muhukama hwatiri kuedza "kubhadhara" nemumwe. Zvinoita sekuti isu hatina kukosha isu pachedu, asi nekuda kwezviwanikwa zvatinokwanisa kupa.
Vakadzi vanoedza kuvanza shure kwebasa remudzimai ane muenzaniso kana tenzikadzi, varume vanoisa upfumi hwenyama pamberi. Saka isu tinongowana mumiriri wehukama hwepedyo uye towira mudenderedzwa rakashata umo kusatenda kwedu kuti tinofanirwa zvirinani kunotowedzera.
2. Kutsamira kwakasimba mupfungwa
Muchiitiko ichi, tinoda kusimbiswa nguva dzose kuti tinodiwa. Tinotanga kurwadzisa mumwe wedu nechido chekuratidza kwatiri kuti acharamba aripo. Uye hakusi kuti tine godo, kungoti manyawi edu asina kuchengeteka anoda humbowo hwekuti tichiri kukosheswa.
Kana mudiwa akasamira nedzvinyiriro iyi (inoitika kazhinji), mubato anotsamira ari ega, uye izvi zvinotowedzera kuora mwoyo. Kuziva kuti chinodikanwa chedu chinorwadza chinova sei chinoparadza ukama ndiro danho rokutanga rokuzvichengeta.
3. Tarisiro dzisiri dzechokwadi
Dzimwe nguva munhu wedu wemukati akakwana anotendeuka panguva yatinosarudza shamwari. Funga nezvehukama hwako nevamwe: unonyanya kuda uye wakarerekera?
Uri kuedza kusangana nechinhu chisipo chekufungidzira kwako pachako? Zvichida haufanirwe kuve maximalist uye kugura kubatana nekukurumidza kana iwe usingade chimwe chinhu mumashoko kana maitiro emumwe wako, asi ipa iye uye iwe pachako mukana wekuzivana zviri nani.
4. Dzvinyiriro inobva kuvadiwa
Tinonaya nemibvunzo yokuti ticharoorana rinhi (kuchata) kana kuwana wokuroorana naye. Uye zvishoma nezvishoma tinonzwa tine mhosva kuti tichiri toga munyika umo vakaroorana chete vanoratidzika kuva vanofara. Uye kunyangwe ichi chiri manyepo chete, kumanikidza kubva kunze kunowedzera kushushikana uye kutya kuve wega. Kunzwisisa kuti tawira musimba rezvinotarisirwa nevamwe vanhu inhanho yakakosha pakushandura kutsvaga kwemudiwa kubva pabasa kuita mutambo werudo.
5. Chiitiko chinorwadza chekare
Kana uine zviitiko zvakashata kubva muukama hwekare (waivimba nemunhu akakuita kuti utambure), zvingava zvakaoma kuti uvhure mumwe munhu zvakare. Mushure mechiitiko chakadaro, hazvisi nyore kutora matanho ekuzivana: kunyoresa pane saiti kuti uwane vakaroorana kana kujoina kirabhu yekufarira.
Usazvikurumidza, asi funga kuti, pasinei nezviitiko zvekare, iwe unoramba uri munhu mumwe chete, anokwanisa kuda uye kugamuchira rudo.
6. Kuzvipa mhosva
Iwe unogona kunzwa kuti iwe wakanga uine mhosva yekuti hukama hwekare hwakaparara uye iwe wakakuvadza mumwe wako. Izviwo zvingaita kuti ufunge kuti hauna kukodzera kudiwa. Kana yedu yekare inotanga kutonga ikozvino uye yeramangwana, iyi ndiyo nzira yechokwadi yekurasikirwa nehukama, kunyange nemunhu wepedyo uye ane rudo.
Chete patinorega kushamwaridzana nemudiwa mutsva neapfuura, tinozvipa mukana wekuvaka mubatanidzwa uzere uye unofadza.
7. Nguva yako haisati yasvika
Unogona kuva munhu ane chivimbo, anokwezva, anoshamisa. Hauna matambudziko ekukurukurirana uye shamwari dzakawanda. Uye zvakadaro, pasinei nechishuvo chekuwana mudiwa, iwe zvino uri woga. Pamwe nguva yako haisati yasvika.
Kana iwe uchida kuwana rudo, iyo yakareba (sezvinoratidzika kwauri) kumirira inogona kupedzisira yatungamira mukunzwa kusurukirwa kwakanyanya uye kunyange kupererwa. Usaite kuti nyika iyi ikutore, inogona kukusundidzira kusarudzo isiri iyo yatinozvinyengera nayo. Zvipe nguva uye uve nemoyo murefu.
Nezve Nyanzvi: Suzanne Lachman, Clinical Psychologist.