Mukati
- 1. Une chigumbu kana maronda epfungwa asina kupora.
- 2. Nanhasi haugone kutaura nezve ex wako.
- 3. Kungofunga kuti ari kufambidzana nomumwe munhu kunoita kuti unzwe usina kusununguka.
- 4. Unofungidzira kuti madzokerana.
- 5. Unonzwa kusurukirwa
- 6. Iwe unogara uchitsvaga ruzivo nezve yekare / yekare
- 7. Unotarisira kuti ex wako ave sezvawagara uchida kuti vave.
Mushure mokurambana, kazhinji pane muedzo wokuramba uri shamwari. Zvinoratidzika senzira inonzwisisika uye yakakura. Pamusoro pazvo, waive pedyo nemunhu uyu. Asi dzimwe nguva kuedza kuvaka ushamwari nemunhu waaimbodanana naye kunokuvadza kupfuura kunaka.
“Kunyange kana mukava shamwari pashure pokurambana (uko kusati kuri kwomunhu ari wose), kwakanakisisa kusamhanyira mazviri,” anodaro Susan J. Elliot, munyori webhuku rinonzi How to Get Over a Breakup. Anopa zano mushure mekupera kwehukama kuti ambomira kwemwedzi mitanhatu asati afunga nezveushamwari. Nguva yekumbomira iyi inoenderana nevakaroorana, kukomba kwehukama uye mamiriro ekurambana.
“Unofanira kumbozorora kubva kune mumwe nemumwe wopinda basa idzva remunhu akasununguka. Iwe unozoda nguva uye chinhambwe kuti upfuure kusuwa kwekurambana. Kunyange kana makarambana murugare, munhu wose anoda nguva yekubata nemanzwiro avo, "anodaro Elliot.
Vamwe vanhu vakanaka pakushamwaridzana neex. Asi kana tarisiro iyoyo isingakufariri, zvakanaka zvakare. Kana mumwe wako akakubata zvakaipa kana kuti hukama hwakanga husina kunaka, saka zviri nani kuti usaedza kuramba uri shamwari, hazvizoperi mune chero chinhu chakanaka.
Kana ukasarudza kuedza kuenderera mberi nekukurukurirana, unoziva sei kuti wagadzirira izvi? Heano zviratidzo zvinomwe zvinoratidza kuti kuchiri kukasika kufunga nezvazvo.
1. Une chigumbu kana maronda epfungwa asina kupora.
Migumisiro yekurambana haigoni kukundwa nezuva rimwe. Zvichatora nguva kupedza shungu idzi. Zvakakosha kuti usadzvinyirira manzwiro, asi kuzvibvumira kunzwa zvose: kusuruvara, kusagutsikana, kurambwa, kutsamwa. Kana usina kunyatsonzwisisa manzwiro ako, saka kazhinji iwe hausati wagadzirira kuva shamwari newaimbova mudiwa.
Iwe unogona kuedza kunyora zvinyorwa kuti ujekese uye utaure pfungwa nemanzwiro.
“Pashure pokurambana, ndokwomuzvarirwo kunzwa marwadzo, kutsamwa, kana kuti mamwe mirangariro yakaoma. Asi hauchakwanisa kukurukura naye, nekuti hapana hukama hwekare uye hauzombovepo, "anodaro San Francisco psychotherapist Kathleen Dahlen de Vos.
Edza kugadzirisa manzwiro ako kutanga. “Kana uchida kutsigirwa, murapi kana kuti shamwari yakavimbika uye isingasaruri inogona kukubatsira. Kana kuti unogona, semuenzaniso, kuedza kunyora mujenari kuti ujekese uye utaure pfungwa nemanzwiro,” anokurudzira kudaro.
2. Nanhasi haugone kutaura nezve ex wako.
Kana pese paunotaura nezve ex wako, unotanga kutaura monologue kana kuchema, ichi chiratidzo chekuti hausati wagadzirira kuva shamwari.
"Zvichida uri kudzivisa manzwiro uye kushungurudzika kwako, kana kuti uchiri kufunga nezvake nguva dzose. Kana manzwiro anorwadza akazara, iwe uchakwanisa kutaura nezvehukama nenzira yakadzikama zvachose. Usati wava shamwari, zvakakosha kuti unzwisise kuti ndezvipi zvidzidzo zvawakadzidza uye kukanganisa kwawakaita, "anodaro chiremba wepfungwa wekuCalifornia Tina Tessina.
3. Kungofunga kuti ari kufambidzana nomumwe munhu kunoita kuti unzwe usina kusununguka.
Pakati peshamwari, zvakajairika kukurukura zviri kuitika muupenyu hwomunhu wose, kusanganisira muupenyu hwake. Kana iwe uchinzwa uchirwara paunofungidzira ex wako kana ex wako nemumwe munhu, zvinogona kukanganisa ushamwari hwechokwadi. “Shamwari dzinoudzana dzadzinosangana naye. Kana zvichiri kukurwadza kunzwa nezvazvo, zviri pachena kuti hausati wagadzirira izvi, "anodaro Tina Tessina.
De Vos anopa kutora bvunzo shoma. Fungidzira iwe newawakambogara mucafe uye muchiona chiziviso pafoni yavo kuti mutambo wawanikwa muapp yekufambidzana. Uchanzwa sei? Hapana? Irritation? kusuwa here?
“Shamwari dzinotsigirana muzvinetso zvoupenyu nemiedzo. Kana iwe usina kugadzirira kuti wekare (wekare) achataura nezvevashamwari vatsva, saka zviri nani kumisa nzendo dzakabatana kune cafe, "anodaro Kathleen Dalen de Vos.
4. Unofungidzira kuti madzokerana.
Zvibvunze kuti sei uchida kushamwaridzana naex wako. Zvichida pasi pasi uri kutarisira kudzokera kuhukama? Kana zvakadaro, usaedza kuva shamwari panguva ino. Izvi zvinogona kuita kuti zviome kusiya zvakaitika kare uye kuenderera mberi.
“Hazvitomboiti kuti utange ushamwari hwakanaka paunenge uine vavariro dzakashata. Unongowedzera kuzvikuvadza. Zvirinani funga nezvezvaunoshaya, izvo hukama hwerudo hwakapa, pane zvaungaite panzvimbo yacho, "anopa zano weChicago psychotherapist Anna Poss.
Kathleen Dahlen de Vos, zvakare, anosimbisa kuti kuedza kuva shamwari mune tariro yakavanzika yerimwe zuva kuzova vadikani zvakare ipfungwa isina kunaka. Iwe unofunga: "Kana tikatanga kutaura zvakare uye kuenda kumwe kumwe pamwe chete, iye / iye achazvidemba kurambana" kana "tinogona kumutsidzira rudo rwakapera." Sezvineiwo, kazhinji kariro dzakadaro dzinongounza marwadzo, kuora mwoyo uye kutsamwa.
5. Unonzwa kusurukirwa
Kana kusurukirwa kuchikutambudza pashure pokurambana, ungada kuramba uchionana—kunyange uchingova noushamwari.
Kazhinji, mushure mekurambana, pane yakawandisa yenguva yemahara, kunyanya kana maimbogara pamwe chete uye nharaunda yako yekushamwaridzana yainyanya kuve neshamwari nehama dzemumwe wako. Iye zvino zvauri kusurukirwa, unganzwa uchida kushamwaridzana naye uchinyepedzera kuva shamwari.
Haufanire kushamwaridzana newawakambodanana naye kuti ungotarisa zviri kuitika muhupenyu hwake.
“Mukana wokudzokera kumararamiro ekare uye akarovedzeka, nepo uchizvipwisa umene kuti uri “shamwari chete” unoratidzika kuva unoedza zvikuru. Iyi inyaradzo yenguva pfupi, asi inogona kutungamira kune chokwadi chekuti hukama hwerudo husina kugadzikana hunotanga zvakare. Izvi zvakazara nekusanzwisisana kwakanyanya, kusava nechokwadi, uye kusagutsikana kwakadzama, "anodaro Zainab Delavalla, chiremba wepfungwa wekuAtlanta.
Pane dzimwe nzira dzokugadzirisa nadzo kusurukirwa. Dzokorora zvechinyakare zvekuzvivaraidza, kubuda nemhuri, kana kuzvipira nerubatsiro.
6. Iwe unogara uchitsvaga ruzivo nezve yekare / yekare
Kana iwe uine chishuwo chekuda kugara uchitarisa weaimbova mudiwa wako Instagram (akarambidzwa muRussia) kuti agadzirise kwaari uye naani, iwe hausati wagadzirira kuva shamwari izvozvi.
"Kana iwe uchida kuziva ruzivo rwehupenyu hwe ex / ex, asi usina kugadzirira kubvunza zvakananga, unogona kunge uchine kukakavara kwemukati kana kuti hausati wagadzirira kugamuchira chokwadi chekuti iye zvino anorarama hupenyu hwake, ” anodaro Kathleen Dalen de Vos.
7. Unotarisira kuti ex wako ave sezvawagara uchida kuti vave.
Iwe haufaniri kushamwaridzana newawaimbova wako kuti urambe wakatarira pane zviri kuitika muupenyu hwake, muchivande achitarisira kuti achachinja zvemashiripiti. Aya maitiro asina kunaka uye kutambisa nguva.
“Kana makarambana nekuda kwekusapindirana kwevatambi kana matambudziko akakomba (kudhakwa, kutengesa, kubhejera), haungatarisiri kuchinja kukuru. Uyezve, nekuyedza kudzosa mumwe wako wekare, uri kurasikirwa nekusangana nemumwe munhu, ”anodaro Delavalla.
Kunobva: Huffington Post