Mukati
Rangarira chirevo chinoti: "Ndiudze kuti shamwari yako ndiani, uye ini ndichakuudza kuti ndiwe ani"? Isu tinokurudzira kuishandura zvishoma: "Ndiudze kuti shamwari yako ndiani, uye isu tichakuudza kana uchifanira kuramba uchitaurirana naye." Mushure mezvose, shamwari dzakaipa hadzisi vatengesi chete, varevi venhema uye manipulators. Tinokuudza kuti ndiani anofanirwa kutarisa zvakanyanya.
Muzvinafundo wepaUniversity yeKansas Dr. Jeffrey Hall vakaita chidzidzo chinofadza kuti vaone kuti zvinotora maawa mangani kuti uve shamwari yemumwe munhu. Somugumisiro, zvakazoitika kuti tinova "shamwari" mumaawa makumi mashanu, "shamwari dzakanaka" mumaawa 50-120, uye "shamwari dzepamwoyo" mumaawa 160 anoshandiswa pamwe chete.
Zvinoitika kuti kusimbiswa kwehukama hwehukama hakutore nguva shoma, inoda simba uye mari yepfungwa. Asi zvose izvi "mari" zvinopfuura kubhadharwa: mukudzoka, tinowana manzwiro ekuswedera pedyo, kunyaradza, mufaro wekuziva mumwe.
Asi usati waita "kudyara" muhukama nemumwe munhu, unofanirwa kuve nechokwadi chekuti akakodzera. Kune vanhu vausingade kutambisa nguva yako nesimba pavari - kwete nekuti ivo "vakaipa" mavari, asi nekuti hukama navo haungambokupa manzwiro akanaka.
1. Nguva dzose "inoda"
Munhu akadaro anogara achida vamwe vanhu, anoda kambani, asi panguva imwechete anotaura zvakanyanya pamusoro pake, nezvematambudziko ake uye zvaanoda. Chimwe chinhu chinogara chichiitika kwaari, uye hupenyu hwake mutambo unoenderera. Uye, chokwadi, isu tinonzwira tsitsi kune vanosuruvarisa nenzira yedu, chete zvakatonyanya kuoma kwatiri: muhukama hwakadaro hapana chatinowana mukudzoka - hapana kudziya, kwete kutarisa, hapana kubatanidzwa. Kukurukurirana naye kunonetesa uye kunoparadza.
2. Kunyunyuta pamusoro pevamwe vari shure kwavo
Iwe unogona kuva nechokwadi chokuti kana pane kusawirirana pakati pako, munhu uyu haazove neushingi uye kukura kwekutaura newe chiso nechiso. Kwete, achakuitira makuhwa uye achakuchera iwe shure kwako.
Chokwadi, isu tese vanhu tinotaurirana, hapana kubva pane izvi. Mubvunzo ndewokuti tinozviita sei, neshoko ripi, chinangwa, mazwi atinosarudza. Kana tikatsvaka mazano kune vamwe, ichi chimwe chinhu, asi kana tikangomhanyira ku“verevedza” nekuita makuhwa, zvakatosiyana.
3. Kuzvifunga
Vakafanana zvikuru ne "vanoshaya nokusingaperi", sezvo ivo chete vanotaura pamusoro pavo. Ichokwadi, iyo "yakanyanyisa" haisi kungogunun'una - inotaura nezvemashoko ake uye zvipfeko zvitsva, pamusoro pechitarisiko chake uye hupenyu, nezvebasa rake uye zvaanoda. Tine chokwadi chekuti "mutambo wedivi rimwe" wakadaro, pasina nzvimbo yenhaurirano uye zvaunofarira, iwe unogona kunge wakafinhwa munguva pfupi.
4. Kudzora
Munhu akadaro ajaira kuraira, ajaira kuti zvese ngazvive sezvaanotaura. Uye haasati akagadzirira kunzwa zvirambidzo. Anowanzo chengetedza, asingadi zvachose kukanganisa uye kushanduka. Asi Mwari akurambidza kuti uvaudze nezvazvo—iye “aigara achiita, achiita uye achaita,” uye hapana chokumudzidzisa!
Kutetepa kwepfungwa kunodzivirira "mutongi" kubva pakuvaka hukama hwakavhurika uye hunofadza. Chii chiripo - dzimwe nguva hazvifadzi kutaura nemunhu akadaro.
5. Kusatarisira zvachose
Ngative vakatendeseka: shamwari dzese dzimwe nguva dzinononoka, uye mune dzakasiyana zviitiko, dzimwe dzacho dzinotokanganisa zvirongwa zvedu. Uye zvakadaro tinoziva kuti vazhinji vavo vanogona kuvimbwa navo.
Kusaita basa zvachose ndeimwe nyaya. Munhu akadaro anogara achinonoka kwemaminitsi 30-40, kana kunyange awa. Anogara achikanzura maaphoyintimenti. Anovimbisa kufona back uye haaiti. Anokanganwa nezvemazuva anokosha, uye zvino uye anokundikana - nezwi, haugoni kuvaka hukama hwakanaka neshamwari yakadaro.
6. Kunyanya kutonga
Zvekare, tese tinokurukura, kutonga, uye kutsoropodza vamwe kamwechete panguva. Asi kune vanhu vanoshora vamwe nehasha, nekuda kwekuti ivo neimwe nzira "vasina kudaro" - vanozvibata zvakasiyana kupfuura zvingada shamwari dzedu. Ivo "vanokurumidza kuuraya" uye kupa mutongo usina tsitsi pasina nguva yekunyatso taurirana nevamwe, sezvo vasingatsvage kuziva zviri nani mutauri, nhoroondo yake uye zvinokurudzira.
Nemunhu akadaro, hazvibviri kuti unzwe wakachengeteka mupfungwa, nokuti hauzivi kuti fungu rekupomerwa kwake richakurova rinhi.
7. Kunyanya nungo
Simbe haisati iri hako shamwari yakaipa, asi zvinoitika kazhinji kazhinji. Kana asinganetseki kuita chero chinhu mune dzimwe nzvimbo uye achiverengera nguva dzose, ndeipi vimbiso yekuti haazokuiti zvakafanana kwauri uye ushamwari hwako? Zvichaita sekuti iwe chete ndiwe uri kuedza kudhonza "ngoro" yehukama hwako pane imwe nzvimbo.
Munhu wose anoziva kuti shamwari dzechokwadi dzinokosha sei, asi nguva yedu inokoshawo. Rishandise nekuchenjera uye usaritambisire pane vasingakodzeri ushamwari hwako.