Nzira yekuverenga mabhuku gumi pamusoro pekurera uye kwete kupenga? Ndeapi mitsara isingafaniri kutaurwa? Unogona kuchengetedza mari pamari yechikoro? Ndingaita sei kuti ndive nechokwadi chokuti ndinoda mwana wangu uye zvose zvichava zvakanaka kwatiri? Mupepeti-mukuru-mukuru wezvinyorwa zvedzidzo zvakakurumbira Mel, Nikita Belogolovtsev, anopa mhinduro dzake.
Panozopera gore rechikoro, vabereki vanenge vava nemibvunzo nezvedzidzo yemwana wavo. Ndiani wekubvunza? Mudzidzisi, mutungamiriri, komiti yevabereki? Asi mhinduro dzavo dzinowanzova dzepamutemo uye hadzisi nguva dzose dzinoenderana nesu ... Several vechiduku, achangopfuura vadzidzi uye vadzidzi, akasika nzvimbo «Mel», iyo inoudza vabereki nezvechikoro nenzira inofadza, yakatendeseka uye inofadza.
Psychology: Nzvimbo iyi ndeye gore nehafu, uye vateereri vemwedzi vatova vanopfuura mamiriyoni, iwe wava shamwari yeMoscow Salon yeDzidzo. Iwe uri Nyanzvi yeChikoro ikozvino here? Uye ndingakubvunza chero mubvunzo senyanzvi?
Nikita Belogolovtsev: Unogona kundibvunza mubvunzo saamai vevana vazhinji vane vana kubva pa7 kusvika 17 makore, anonyanya kufarira zvemitambo, iyi ndiyo nzira iyo Internet algorithms inotsanangura ini. Muchokwadi, ndichine vana vaduku vaviri, asi ini-hongu, ndatopedza kosi yekutanga yekunyudzwa munyika yedzidzo yeRussia.
Uye inonakidza sei nyika ino?
Yakaoma, isinganzwisisike, dzimwe nguva inonakidza! Kwete semutambo wetimu yangu yandinoda basketball, hongu, asi zvakare inoshamisa.
Chii chinonzi drama rayo?
Chokutanga pane zvose, pamwero wekuzvidya mwoyo kwevabereki. Iyi nhanho yakasiyana zvikuru nezvakaitika kuna baba naamai vedu, kana vanambuya vedu sevabereki. Dzimwe nguva inongopfuura pamusoro. Hupenyu hwakachinja mupfungwa uye mune zvehupfumi, kumhanya kwakasiyana, maitiro ekuita akasiyana. Handisisiri kutaura nezve tekinoroji. Vabereki vanotya kusava nenguva yekuzivisa chimwe chinhu muvana vavo, kunonoka nesarudzo yebasa, kwete kuenderana nemufananidzo wemhuri inobudirira. Uye matekinoroji edzidzo anochinja zvishoma nezvishoma. Kana zvepamusoro. Chikoro chinochengetedza zvakanyanya.
Nzvimbo yako yevabereki vemazuva ano. Ndezvipi?
Ichi chizvarwa chinoshandiswa kugara mukunyaradza: mota nechikwereti, inofamba kakati wandei pagore, bhanga rinofamba riripo. Izvi kune rimwe divi. Kune rimwe divi, vatsoropodzi vepafirimu vakanyanya vanotsanangura zvese kwavari nezve auteur cinema, maresitorendi epamusoro - nezvechikafu, nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzepamusoro - nezve libido ...
Tasvika pahumwe mwero wekurarama, takagadzira maitiro edu, takawana nhungamiro, tinoziva kupi uye chii chavachataura pamusoro pacho zvine chiremera uye nehushamwari. Uye ipapo - bam, vana vanoenda kuchikoro. Uye hapana kana munhu wekubvunza nezvechikoro. Hapana anotaura kuvabereki vanhasi nenzira inonakidza, inosetsa, inofadza uye inovaka (sezvavajaira) pamusoro pechikoro. Kutya chete. Pamusoro pezvo, chiitiko chekare hachishande: hapana chinhu chakashandiswa nevabereki vedu - sechikurudziro kana sosi - hachina kukodzera dzidzo nhasi.
Pane ruzivo rwakawandisa runogona kuwanikwa nemubereki anobvunza, uye anopokana. Vanamai vavhiringika
Kunowedzerwa kumatambudziko ose aya inguva yeshanduko huru. Vakaunza iyo Unified State Exam - uye yakajairwa algorithm "study - graduation - sumo - yunivhesiti" yakabva yarasika! Vakatanga kubatanidza zvikoro - kutya kukuru. Uye ndizvo chete zviri pamusoro. Iye zvino mubereki, saiyo centipede, anotanga kusava nechokwadi chepakutanga: mwana akaunza deuce - kuranga kana kwete? Kune madenderedzwa gumi kuchikoro - ndeipi yekuenda kwairi usina kurovha? Asi zvinotonyanya kukosha kuti unzwisise kana uchinje mazano evabereki zvachose, mune chii, kutaura, kuisa mari? Kuti tipindure mibvunzo yakadai, takagadzira Mel.
Mazhinji emaonero ari pasaiti yako ndeezvinyorwa zvakanangana nebudiriro yemagariro - maitiro ekusimudza mutungamiri, kana kuita mukukura kwemwana ...
Hungu, kusateerera kwevabereki kunotonga pano! Asi fungidziro dzemagariro dzakabatana nechitendero chemakwikwi uye kutya kwaamai kwekusasiya chimwe chinhu zvakare.
Munofunga kuti nhasi vabereki havana betsero zvokuti havagoni kurarama vasina mufambisi wengarava munhau dzedzidzo yechikoro here?
Nhasi, kune ruzivo rwakawandisa kune mubereki anobvunza, uye anopokana. Uye pane kurukurirano ine upenyu shoma pamisoro ine chokuita naye. Vanaamai vari kuvhiringika: kune mamwe maresheni ezvikoro, kune mamwe, mumwe munhu anotora varairidzi, mumwe munhu haadaro, mune chimwe chikoro mamiriro ekunze ari kugadzira, mune chimwe nharaunda yekushanda yakaoma ... Panguva imwe chete, vana vese vane zvishandiso, mumasocial network, munyika isingazivikanwi nevabereki vakawanda, uye hazvibviri kudzora upenyu hwavo ikoko.
Panguva imwecheteyo, kusvika munguva pfupi yapfuura, zvakanga zvakaoma kufungidzira kuti vabereki vaida shanduko mumudzidzisi wekirasi, kuti vana vatore mazuva matatu zororo risati rasvika uye "vadzoke" mazuva mashanu gare gare ... , nechisimba, chaiyo "customer educational services".
Kare, mitemo yehupenyu yakanga yakasiyana, pakanga pane mikana mishoma yekufambisa nemazororo, miyedzo mishoma, uye chiremera chemudzidzisi chaiva, chokwadi, chakakwirira. Nhasi, maonero pamusoro pezvinhu zvakawanda akachinja, asi pfungwa ye "vatengi vezvidzidzo zvekudzidzisa" ichiri ngano. Nekuti vabereki havagone kuodha chero chinhu uye havagone kukanganisa chero chinhu. Hungu, kazhinji kazhinji, havana nguva yokunzwisisa mipimo yedzidzo, kana vachida bhuku rimwe chete renhau nokuda kwavose kana kuti kurega kuti ive yakasiyana, mudzidzisi achasarudza.
Zvino dambudziko ravo guru nderei?
"Ndiri amai vakaipa here?" Uye masimba ese, tsinga, uye zvakanyanya kukosha, zviwanikwa zvinoenda kudzvanyirira kunzwa kwemhosva. Pakutanga, basa resaiti iyi raive rekudzivirira vabereki kubva kumari inotyisa muzita remwana. Takanga tisingazivi kuti imarii yakashandiswa zvisina musoro. Saka takatora rusununguko rwekujekesa mufananidzo wenyika, kuratidza zvaunogona kuchengetedza, uye chii, pane zvinopesana, hazvifaniri kuregererwa.
Somuenzaniso, vabereki vakawanda vanodavira kuti muperekedzi akanakisisa purofesa weyunivhesiti anoremekedzwa (uye anodhura). Asi kutaura zvazviri, mukugadzirira bvunzo, akapedza kudzidza nezuro, uyo achangopasa iyi bvunzo pachake, anowanzobatsira zvakanyanya. Kana kuti zvakajairika “kana akataura neni zvine hungwaru muchiRungu, zvirokwazvo achapasa bvunzo.” Uye izvi, zvinozoitika, hazvisi vimbiso.
Imwe ngano inogadzira chikonzero chekukonana: "Chikoro ndiyo imba yechipiri, mudzidzisi ndiye amai vechipiri."
Mudzidzisi pachake ndiye nhapwa kune zvidikanwi zvehurumende zvinoremedza basa rake. Haana mibvunzo mishoma kuhurongwa kupfuura vabereki vake, asi kwaari ndiko kuti vanozoenda. Iwe haugone kusvika kumutungamiriri, maforamu evabereki izere hysteria. Yekupedzisira link ndiye mudzidzisi. Saka iye ndiye ane mhosva yekudzikiswa kwemaawa mumabhuku, kukanganisa muhurongwa, kuunganidzwa kusingagumi kwemari - uye kuwedzera pasi rondedzero. Sezvo iye, mudzidzisi, asina hanya nemafungiro ake pachake, kunyange anonyanya kufambira mberi, zviri nyore kwaari kuti ashande nemashoko kubva mumitemo uye denderedzwa.
Vabereki vazhinji vanotenda kuti mudzidzisi akanakisa anokudzwa (uye anodhura) purofesa weyunivhesiti. Asi pakugadzirira bvunzo, akapedza kudzidza nezuro kazhinji anonyanya kubatsira
Nekuda kweizvozvo, dambudziko rekukurukurirana rakura: hapana anogona kutaura chero chinhu kune chero munhu nemutauro wakajairika. Ukama hwemudzidzisi-mudzidzi mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, ndinotenda, haisi iyo yakazaruka.
Ndiko kuti, vabereki havana chekurota nezvekuvimbana kwevatori vechikamu mukuita kwedzidzo?
Mukupesana, tinobvumikisa kuti ikoku kunobvira kana tikaedza kuona kumwe kurovera pachedu. Semuenzaniso, dzidza nezverudzi rwakadaro rwekuzvitonga kwechikoro sezano revabereki uye uwane chishandiso chaicho chekutora chikamu muhupenyu hwechikoro. Izvi zvinobvumira, semuenzaniso, kubvisa nyaya yekusagadzikana kwechirongwa chezororo kana nzvimbo isina kunaka yeasarudzika muchirongwa kubva muchirongwa uye kwete kutsvaga munhu ane mhosva.
Asi basa rako guru nderokudzivirira vabereki kubva pamitengo yehurongwa hwedzidzo?
Hongu, tinotora rutivi rwevabereki mukukonana kupi nokupi. Mudzidzisi anopopotera mudzidzi anorasikirwa nefungidziro yekuti haana mhosva muhurongwa hwedu hwekubatanidza. Pashure pezvose, vadzidzisi vane nzanga yebasa, mutungamiriri anovatarisira, uye vabereki ndivanaani? Zvichakadaro, chikoro chinonakidza, pamwe makore akanakisa emunhu, uye kana ukamisa zvinangwa zvinogoneka, unogona kubata ruzha chairwo (ndinoziva kubva pane zvakaitika kwandiri!), Shandura makore gumi nerimwe kuita mubatanidzwa wekugadzira mhuri, tsvaga vanhu vane pfungwa dzakafanana. , vhura zviwanikwa zvakadaro, kusanganisira uye mukati mavo, izvo vabereki vasina kufungira!
Iwe unomiririra maonero akasiyana, asi mubereki achiri kufanira kuita sarudzo?
Chokwadi zvinofanira. Asi iyi isarudzo pakati pemaitiro anonzwika, imwe neimwe yaanogona kubatanidza neruzivo rwake, tsika dzemhuri, intuition, pakupedzisira. Uye dzikama - iwe unogona kuita izvi, asi iwe unogona kuzviita zvakasiyana, uye izvi hazvityisi, nyika haizotendeuki pasi. Kuti tive nechokwadi chekushanda kwezvinyorwa izvi, tinoratidza chinyorwa chemunyori kune vaviri kana vatatu nyanzvi. Kana vasina kupikisa kwakasiyana, tobva tazvishambadza. Uyu ndiwo musimboti wekutanga.
Ini ndaizorambidza vabereki zvakanyanya chirevo: "Takakura, uye hapana." Inoruramisa kusaita kupi nokupi uye kusava nehanya
Nheyo yechipiri haisi yekupa mirairo yakananga. Ita kuti vabereki vafunge, pasinei nokuti vari kuverenga pamirayiridzo yakananga: "chii chaunofanira kuita kana mwanakomana asingadyi kuchikoro", pfungwa imwe neimwe, ndapota. Isu tinoedza kuve nechokwadi kuti pakati pekuora mwoyo, kutsamwa uye kuvhiringidzika muvakuru, maonero avo anokura, akatendeukira kumwana, uye kwete kune stereotypes.
Isu pachedu tiri kudzidza. Uyezve, vaverengi vedu havana kurara, kunyanya kana zvasvika pakudzidzisa zvepabonde. “Apa unenge uchida kutenda kuti chivharo chepingi chemukomana chinowanikwa, unoshoropodza fungidziro dzevakadzi. Uye ipapo iwe unopa gumi nemaviri mafirimu anofanirwa kuona nevakomana, uye gumi nemaviri evasikana. Ndinofanira kunzwisisa sei izvi?" Chokwadi, tinofanira kuwirirana, tinofunga ...
Ngatitii hapana mirairo yakananga - hongu, pamwe, haigone kuve. Chii chaungarambidza vabereki zvachose?
Mazwi maviri. Kutanga: "Takakura, uye hapana." Inoruramisa kusaita kupi nokupi uye kusava nehanya. Vakawanda vanotenda kuti chikoro cheSoviet chakasimudza vanhu vakadzidza zvikuru, vanodzidzisa paHarvard uye vanofambisa maerekitironi mumakoroni. Uye nyaya yekuti vanhu vamwechete ava vakaenda pamwe chete kuMMM inotokanganwika.
Uye mutsara wechipiri: "Ndinoziva kumufadza." Nokuti, maererano nekucherechedza kwangu, ndiko kwaari kuti kupenga kwevabereki kunotanga.
Vabereki vangava nechinangwa chipi chimwe, kana usiri mufaro wevana?
Kuti ufare iwe pachako - saka, ndinofunga, zvose zvichashanda kumwana. Zvakanaka, ndiyo dzidziso yangu.