Tinowanzosiyanisa chishuvo chekukura pamweya nechishuvo chekuda pfuma chebasa rinobudirira uye mari yakanaka. Asi hazvifanirwe kuita izvi zvachose, anodaro Elizaveta Babanova, mukadzi wepfungwa uye munyori weanotengeswa zvakanyanya "Kuna Zen muStiletto Heels".
Psychology: Elizabeth, zvakanga zvakaoma sei "kubuda munzvimbo yako yekunyaradza" uye kugovera nyika yako yemukati nekutendeseka kwakadaro?
Elizabeth Babanova: Ini ndiri munhu akavhurika, nyaya dzangu dzekukanganisa ndeye archetypal. Anenge mukadzi wese anotora bhuku rangu anozozviona mune imwe yenyaya, uye pamwe mune dzakawanda kamwechete. Hazvina mhosva kuti zvingaite zvinonzwisa tsitsi sei, asi ichi chikamu chechinangwa changu - kuratidza kuvakadzi kuti vane kodzero yekukanganisa.
Munguva ichangopfuura, pane mumwe musangano wevakadzi, vanhu vakati wandei vakati vaitya kuzvitarisa zvakadzama. Sei uchifunga?
Kana wangosangana iwe pachako, iwe unofanirwa kuita chimwe chinhu nezvazvo. Kunoratidzika kwatiri kuti kana tikasaenda uko kune chimwe chinhu chitsva, chisingazivikanwi, ipapo tinoramba takachengeteka. Ichi ndicho chinyengeri chaicho, nekuda kwekuti isu hationi zvishuwo zvedu zvechokwadi uye kurwadziwa, izvo zvinoda kushandurwa.
Zvinoita kwandiri sekuti zvirongwa zvako nebhuku inzira yakadaro yekuziva maturation. Unofunga kuti chii chinotadzisa vanhu kudzidza kubva mukukanganisa kwevamwe?
Sezvingabvira zvikuru, kushaikwa kwechiremera. Munzvimbo dzandaiva nechiremera chakakwana, ndakaita zvikanganiso zvishomanene zvikuru.
Ndaitarisira kuti mushure mechechi, munamato, kudzidziswa, reiki, holotropic kufema, ndaizonzwa mhinduro. Asi hapana chakauya
Ungatsanangura sei muverengi wako? Iye chii?
Ini ndichapindura nechidimbu kubva muepilogue: "Muverengi wangu chaiye mukadzi akafanana neni. Anoda chinzvimbo uye ane moyo. Kuvimba mukusarudzika kwayo uye kushinga. Panguva imwe cheteyo, anogara achizvipanikira. Naizvozvo, ndakazvinyorera kune mumwe munhu anoda kurota hombe, kukunda matambudziko, kuratidza matarenda avo uye kuita chimwe chinhu chenyika ino, kusangana nerudo rwavo uye kugadzira hukama hwakanaka.
Murwendo rwako, pekutangira kwaive kusimuka kubva kuRussia hinterland kuenda kuUnited States. Ikoko wakawana dzidzo, wakashanda mumubatanidzwa wezvemari ane mukurumbira, wakawana zvese zvawaishuvira. Asi pane imwe nguva pakanga pane kunzwa kusagutsikana uye chido chekuchinja. Sei?
Ndakanzwa buri dema mukati. Uye yaisagona kuzadzwa noupenyu hwandairarama, ndichishanda mukambani inoisa mari.
Tsaona yakaitika pawaive nemakore makumi maviri nemanomwe ekuberekwa - inyaya dzakaoma zvakadaro chete dzinogona kusundidzira shanduko?
Hatiwanzochinja nekuda kwekuda kuva vakanaka. Kazhinji, tinotanga kukura semunhu, semweya, kana kuti tinoshandura muviri wedu, nokuti "unopisa". Ipapo hupenyu hunoratidza kuti tave pachikumbaridzo cheshanduko yakasimba. Chokwadi, zvinoratidzika kwatiri kuti mushure mekuvhunduka isu tichakurumidza kunzwisisa zvese. Sekunyora kwakaita Neil Donald Walsh bhuku rinonzi Kukurukurirana naMwari, achingonyora pasi izvo zvakatumirwa kwaari kubva kumusoro, saka ndaitarisira kuti mushure mechechi, munamato, kudzidziswa, reiki, holotropic kufema uye zvimwe zvinhu, ndaizonzwa mhinduro. Asi hapana chakauya.
Chii chakakubvumidza kuti uenderere mberi uye uchitenda kuti zvese zvichanaka?
Pandakazviudza kuti ndaiva nebasa rokusika chokwadi changu, ndakanyora mumwe wemitemo mitsva. Ndakarega kutenda mune chimwe chinhu chinofanira kuitika kwandiri, ndakangosarudza - ndichawana nzira yangu, mune ramangwana tenzi wangu wemweya, murume wangu anodiwa, bhizinesi rangu randinoda, vanhu vandichaunza kukosha vakandimirira. Zvose zvakaitika. Ndinogara ndichikurudzira kusatenda, asi kusarudza nekuita.
Matanho api anofanira kutorwa kuti awane zvemweya uye zvenyama musaridzwa?
Zvigadzirire iwe chinangwa chakadaro - kuva nemapapiro maviri. Kana ndine imba yakasarudzika, Tesla uye zvinhu zvemhando, asi ini handisi kuwana mhinduro kumibvunzo mikuru, ipapo rutivi rwezvinhu haruite chero pfungwa. Kune rumwe rutivi, kune kusarura muhupenyu hwemweya, kana iwe uri "mashiripiti", asi panguva imwechete iwe haugone kubatsira vadiwa vako, zvichengete iwe pachako. Mari chinhu chimwe chete chekuziva pakunamata, asi zvese zvinoenderana nekuti unoitumira kupi uye nekurudziro ipi.
Tiudzewo kuti muperekedzi akauya sei muupenyu hwako?
Ndakapfuura nezvitendero zvese, zvikoro zvese zveesoteric. Paive nechikumbiro chakadzama chekuti iyi ive nzira, inonzwisisika, umo tenzi aizondiperekedza. Uye zvakaitika pazuva rimwe chete - mubhuku ndakaritumidza kuti "jackpot yangu kaviri" - pandakasangana nemurume wangu wemangwana natenzi wangu.
Ndeapi zvikanganiso izvo vakadzi vanotadza kugadzira hukama, kunyangwe kana vasangana, zvinoita kunge munhu wavo akakodzera.
Chikanganiso chekutanga ndechekugadzirisa zvishoma. Chechipiri hachisi chekutaura zvishuwo zvako uye tsika. Chechitatu hakusi kudzidza mudiwa. Usamhanyira mafaro anokurumidza: rudo, zvepabonde, kumbundira. Mafaro akareba hukama hunoshamisa hwakavakwa pakuremekedzana uye chido chekufadzana.
Uye unowanzopindura kutii apo, somuenzaniso, vakati kwauri: “Asi hakuna vanhu vakanaka”?
Ichokwadi. Kune vakakwana vakakwana kune mumwe nemumwe. Ini handisi kure nekukwana, asi murume wangu anoti ini ndakakwana nekuti ndinomupa chaizvo zvaanoda. Ndiyewo shamwari yangu yakanakisisa, sezvaanondibatsira kuvhura somukadzi uye kukura semunhu, uye anoita izvi kubva mumamiriro erudo nekunditarisira.
Chii chinonyanya kukosha kwauri muhukama?
Kunyange kana zvichiita kwauri kuti mamwe mamiriro ezvinhu haana kunaka, haana kururama, unoshanda nawo, asi panguva imwe chete iwe hauregi kunzwa kwerudo kune mumwe wako. Sezvo shamwari yangu yakataura zvakanaka, kunetsana kwakanaka ndiko kunoita kuti tive nani semurume nemukadzi. Patakatanga kuona kusawirirana nenzira iyi, takarega kuvatya.
Pakupera kwebhuku racho, wakatsanangura musimboti wechikonzero nemigumisiro muupenyu. Hauna kuda kunyura munyaya yacho nemaune here?
Hongu, ndakanga ndisingadi kuti bhuku rishanduke kuva gwara rehupenyu hwemweya. Ndinoshanda nevaKristu, vaMuslim, vaJudha, uye vaBhudha. Izvo zvakakosha kwandiri kuti ini ndisaverengerwa mune chero sero, uye kuti iyo general musimboti yakajeka. Tese tinoda vector yekukura pamweya. Asi kuti chii, munhu mumwe nomumwe anofanira kuzvisarudzira.
Chimwe chezvakakosha zvinodiwa nevanhu kunzwa kwechengeteko, kubatana, kuve kwepakiti.
Tony Robbins akadzidzisei?
Sabhuku. Pakutanga kunofanira kuva rudo, zvino zvimwe zvose: kukura, kuchengeteka. Izvi zvichiri kundiomera, asi ndinoedza kurarama seizvi. Nokuti rudo runokosha kupfuura kudzidzisa. Zvinonyanya kukosha pane kuve wakarurama.
Ko denderedzwa revakadzi rine basa rei, vakadzi vanowanei kana vachitaurirana zvakadzama?
Chimwe chezvakakosha zvinodiwa nevanhu pfungwa yekuchengeteka, kubatana, kuve kwepakiti. Kazhinji vakadzi vanoita chikanganiso chimwe: vanoedza kuzadzisa zvose zvavanoda kuburikidza nemurume. Somugumisiro, mukadzi anogamuchira zvishoma nguva dzose, kana kuti murume anoshanda zvakanyanya, achiedza kumupa zvose zvaanoda.
Uye kana murume akati: “Asi ini ndiri zuva, handigoni kuvhenekera mukadzi mumwe, nepo ndichikuda zvikuru”?
Izvi zvinoreva kuti hapana chikamu chemweya muhukama uhu. Izvi zvinodaro nekuti hapana chiono chinopfuura mwero wenyama, hapana kunzwisisa kwemweya, chikamu chinoera chehukama. Uye kana iwe ukaivhura, hapazove nenzvimbo yekufunga kwakadaro. Tine chirongwa chinonzi Conscious Relationships. Pairi, tiri kushanda zvakadzama panyaya iyi.
Nenzira, pamusoro pekutendeseka. MuKuroorana Kwemutemo, Elizabeth Gilbert anotsanangura chiitiko chake chekuroorazve. Asati atora danho iri, iye nomurume wake aizova murume vakabvumirana pazvinhu zvose zvingakonzera kusawirirana mune ramangwana.
Asi unoziva kuti zvakazopera sei.
Hongu, kwandiri yaive ngano yakanaka kudaro ...
Ndinoda Elizabeth Gilbert zvakanyanya uye ndinotevera hupenyu hwake, ini nguva pfupi yadarika ndakaenda kunosangana naye kuMiami. Aiva neshamwari yepedyo yavaishamwaridzana nayo kwemakore 20. Uye paakati akanga ane chirwere chinouraya, Elizabeth akaziva kuti aimuda upenyu hwake hwose, akasiya murume wake ndokutanga kumuchengeta. Kwandiri, uyu muenzaniso wekuputswa kwehutsvene hwemubatanidzwa. Hukama hwedu naAnton hunouya pekutanga, nekuti ndivo tsika yedu huru yemweya. Kutengesa hukama kutengesa zvese. Zvinoreva kutengesa mudzidzisi, nzira yemunhu yemweya. Hazvisi zvekungonakidzwa. Zvinhu zvose zvakadzama.
Uri kushanda parizvino bhuku idzva, rinenge riri rei?
Ndiri kunyora bhuku, The Best Year of My Life, apo pandinoratidza vakadzi mararamiro andinoita gore. diary format. Pachave zvakare nekuenderera mberi nyaya dzakati wandei dzakabatwa mubhuku "Kuna Zen muStilettos." Semuenzaniso, musoro wekuzvida, hukama pakati pevabereki nevana, ruzivo rwemari.
Ndezvipi zvisungo zvako zvezuva rakakwana?
Mangwanani ekumuka uye mangwanani ekuzadza maitiro. Chikafu chinonaka uye chine utano chakagadzirwa nerudo. Favorite basa, yepamusoro-soro kutaurirana. Zororo nemurume wangu. Uye zvinonyanya kukosha - hukama hwakanaka nemhuri.
Ungatsanangura sei chinangwa chako?
Iva chiedza chako uye chevamwe vanhu, chipfuudza. Kana tikawana kupenya kwemukati, kunozadza zvishoma nezvishoma mativi erima emweya. Ndinofunga kuti iri ibasa remunhu wese - kutsvaga mwenje mukati mavo uye kuvhenekera vamwe vanhu. Kuburikidza nebasa rinounza mufaro. Semuenzaniso, mudzidzisi anounza chiedza kuvadzidzi, chiremba kuvarwere, mutambi kune vanoona.
Chokutanga pane zvose, unoda kutanga kupenya iwe pachako. Zvakakosha kuzadzwa nematunhu akakodzera: mufaro, rudo
Ndichangobva kuverenga bhuku raIrina Khakamada "The Tao of Life". Akatsanangura murairidzi ipapo sekurudziro uye akapa muenzaniso unosetsa: kuongorora kutya kwebhasikoro, nyanzvi yezvepfungwa inochera muhuduku, uye murairidzi achasvika ari bhasikoro obvunza kuti: "Tiri kuenda kupi?" Ndezvipi zvishandiso zvaunoda kushandisa mukushanda nevakadzi?
Ndine chipfuva chikuru chemidziyo. Izvi zvese zviri zviviri zvekirasi psychology uye ruzivo kubva kwakasiyana kudzidziswa kwenyeredzi dzepasi rose mukudzidzisa kudzidzira. Ndinogara ndichiisa basa - kwatiri kuenda, chii chatinodei? Irina anopa muenzaniso wakanaka. Zvisinei, kana chiridzwa chacho chinokanganisa, somuenzaniso, psyche yakaputsika kana kuti muviri hauna kunaka, saka simba harina kutenderera mairi. Uye kazhinji kuparara kwakadaro mugumisiro weuduku husina kugadziriswa uye kushungurudzika kwevechiri kuyaruka. Izvi zvinofanirwa kubviswa, kucheneswa - kuunganidzazve bhasikoro, uye wozoti: "Zvakanaka, zvese zvagadzirira, ngatiendei!"
Mukadzi angawana sei chinangwa chake?
Chokutanga pane zvose, unoda kutanga kupenya iwe pachako. Zvakakosha kuzadzwa nematunhu akakodzera: mufaro, rudo. Uye nokuda kweizvi unoda kudzikamisa, zorora, kurega kubata. Panguva imwe chete kuvandudza kugona kwako uye kusunungura kusawirirana kuchaita kuti nyika ikubate zvakasiyana.
Pane vakadzi here vanoita sevakazvarwa vaine hunhu uhwu uye havadi kuhukudziridza?
Vakadzi vakadaro, vakapiwa sekunge kubva pakuzvarwa nechiedza ichi, zvechokwadi variko, uye vari munharaunda yedu. Asi chokwadi, ivo vanofanirwawo kuzvishandira ivo pachavo, kungoti basa iri rinoitika mukati uye harina kuiswa pakuratidzwa. Ndichiri kuyemura mhamha vangu. Hupenyu hwangu hwese ndanga ndakachitarisa uye ndichichidzidza sechiratidziro chinoshamisa. Maari mune rudo rwakawanda, rwakawanda rwechiedza chemukati ichi. Kunyange apo anozviwana ari mune mamwe mamiriro ezvinhu asinganzwisisiki, vanhu vanouya kuzomubatsira, nokuti iye pachake anobatsira vamwe hupenyu hwake hwose. Zvinoratidzika kwandiri kuti mamiriro akadaro ekubatana kwemukati ndiyo pfuma huru yevakadzi.