Mukati
“Pandaiva muduku, hanzvadzi dzangu mbiri, hanzvadzi yangu neni, takanga tisingafariri kuita nharo. Vabereki vedu pavakati aiwa, akanga asiri, uye vakaroverera matiri tsika dzavaichengeta kubva kuvabereki vavo chaivo! Mhedzisiro, tiri zvakanaka mumapombi edu, tese takabudirira muhupenyu uye ndine chokwadi chekuti ndiyo nzira chaiyo yekuita zvinhu nevana. Ini nomurume wangu takasununguka, asi hatibvumi kuti hongu kana kwete, uye vana vanonyatsoziva kuti havasi ivo vanoita mutemo pamba, asi isu! Vabereki vevana vatatu vane makore 2, 4 ne7, Mélanie nemurume wake Fabien vanobvumirana nemutsetse wedzidzo wezvino unoda kudzoka kwakasimba kuchiremera. Izvi zvinotsigirwa naArmelle Le Bigot Macaux *, mutungamiriri weABC +, sangano rinonyanya kucherechedza mufambiro wemhuri: “Vabereki vakakamurwa kuva mapoka maviri: vaya vanobvuma kushandisa simba ravo, vachipwiswa kuti chiremera chavo ndechechokwadi. pavana vavo (7 pa10) uye avo, vari vashomanana, vanofunga kuti zvakakodzera asi vanotambura nokuzviita vachitya kukanganisa unhu hwomwana, vachitya kurambwa, kana kuti nokungoshaya simba. Uye chero maitiro avo edzidzo, tiri kupupurira kutangazve kwezvirango! “
Ehe, hutsva hwe2010s kutorakuzivawo zvavo kuti vana vanoda ganhuriro dzokuvaka norugare uye kuva vanhu vakuru vakakura mumudzimu. Sezvinobvumwa, kutya kuva baba kana amai vanorova netyava hakuna kupera, vabereki vemazuva ano vakabatanidza mitemo yedzidzo yechitendero chepfungwa Françoise Dolto. Kupinzwa nepfungwa yekuti zvakakosha kuteerera vana vako kuti vakure ivo pachavo, hapana anobvunza kuti vana vanhu vakazara vanofanirwa kuremekedzwa uye vane kodzero… Asiwo mabasa ! Zvikurukuru, iya yokurambira munzvimbo yomwana wavo uye yokuteerera vakuru vane mutoro wedzidzo yavo. Ma1990 nema2000 akaona kuwanda kwe nyevero dzekuderera, varairidzi, vadzidzisi, vadzidzisi uye imwe Super Nanny pamusoro pekurembera kwevabereki uye nekuuya kwemasimba evana-madzimambo., ane utsinye uye asina muganhu. Nhasi, munhu wose anobvumirana nekucherechedza kuti vabereki vanoregeredza havasi mubasa ravo uye vanoita kuti vana vavo vasafara nokuvaita kuti vasachengeteke. Munhu wose anoziva ngozi dzedzidzo inobva pakunyengera: "Iva akanaka, ita kuti amai vako vafare, idya broccoli yako!" “. Munhu wose anonzwisisa kuti vana vanhu, asi kwete vanhu vakuru! Vakashongedzerwa nezvakaitika kare nemhosho, vabereki vanoziva zvakare kuti basa ravo rokudzidzisa rinobatanidza kukwanisa kuti kwete, kutsungirira kusawirirana pavanenge vachivhiringidza zvishuvo zvevaduku vavo vanodiwa, kwete kutaurirana chinhu chiri chose, kugadza mitemo yakajeka pasina kunzwa vachisungirwa kuita. vanozviruramisa.
Chiremera: hapana diktats, asi miganhu inovaka
Aimbova mambo-mwana zvino agadzirira mumwe mwana wacho nzira. Asi sezvakataurwa naDidier Pleux, chiremba wepfungwa, kutanga nzira itsva yekushandisa chiremera hakusi nyore : “Vabereki vanonetsa zvikuru, asi vari kuvhiringidzika zvikuru. Vanoita yandinoti downline authority. Kureva kuti vanopindira, vorangarira mutemo, vanotsiura nekuranga kana vana vadarika zvirambidzo zvakawanda. Kunonoka uye kusanyanya kudzidzisa. Vaizobudirira zvikuru kana vakaisa chiremera chavo kumusoro, pasina kumirira kuti pave nokudarika! Asi chii chiri chakavanzika cheichi chiremera chomuzvarirwo icho vabereki vose vanotsvaka? Zvakakwana kubvuma kuti pakati pemukuru nemwana, pane hutungamiri, kuti hatina kuenzana, kuti mukuru anoziva zvakawanda pamusoro pehupenyu kupfuura mwana, uye kuti ndiye, mukuru, anodzidzisa mwana. uye inoisa mitemo nemiganhu. Uye kwete zvakapesana! Vabereki vane pfungwa iri nani yechokwadi, vane njere uye vanofanira kushandisa pane zvakaitika kwavari kuti vatungamire vana vavo. Ndosaka Didier Pleux anopa zano vabereki mukutsvaga chiremera kuti vawanezve pamutemo, kumanikidza tsika dzavo, uzivi hwavo hwehupenyu, zvavanoda, tsika dzemhuri yavo.… Unoda kupenda here? Enda nevana vako kumuseum kuti ugovane chido chako navo. Iwe unofarira mimhanzi yechinyakare, ita kuti ateerere kune aunofarira sonatas… Unoda nhabvu, mutore kuti akave bhora newe. Kusiyana nezvaitaurwa makore mashomanana adarika, haungambokanganisa unhu hwake kana kuumba zvaanoda. Zviri kwaari kuti arambe kana kuramba achitenda zvaunenge wamupfuudza.
Dzidzo, musanganiswa werudo nekushungurudzika
Utongi hwepamusoro hunorevawo kuziva nzira yekuyananisa pakati pekunakidzwa kwemwana nemusimboti chaiwo. Aiwa, haasi iye akanaka kwazvo, akasimba zvikuru, anopenya zvikuru, akangwara zvikuru! Aiwa, haakwanisi kuwana zvose zvaanoda uye kuita zvaanoda chete! Ehe, ine simba, asiwo nekushaya simba, izvo zvatichabatsira kugadzirisa. Pfungwa yekuedza, iyo yakanga yava kukosha kwechinyakare, yave yakakurumbira zvakare. Kuridza piyano, unofanirwa kudzidzira mazuva ese, kuti uwane mamakisi akanaka kuchikoro, unofanirwa kushanda! Hongu, pane zvimhingamipinyi zvaanofanira kuendesa pasina kukurukura kana kutaurirana. Uye izvozvo hazvisi kuzomufadza, ichokwadi! Imwe yenzvimbo dzakajairika dzakonzera kuti vabereki vakawanda vakundikane ndeye kutarisira kuti mwana azvidzore. Hapana mwana achabva akweretesa matoyi ake akanaka kune vamwe! Hapana mudiki anozotenda vabereki vake nekuyera mashandisiro ake skrini: "Maita basa baba nekubvisa koni yangu nekundimanikidza kurara nekukurumidza, munondipa rhythm yehupenyu uye zvakanakira kukura kwangu kwepfungwa. ! ” Kudzidzisa kunosanganisira kushungurudzika, uye anoti kugumbuka, anoti kukakavara. Kutsvoda, rudo, kufadza, kurumbidza, munhu wose anoziva kuti angazviita sei, asi taura NO uye manikidza mwana wako kuti atevedzere mitemo inoonekwa seyakanaka kwaari, zvakaoma zvikuru. Sokusimbisa kunoita Didier Pleux: "Unofanirwa kugadza mumhuri yako" kodhi yemhuri "nemitemo yakasimba uye isingadzivisike, nenzira imwecheteyo kune nzira huru uye kodhi yechirango inodzora nzanga. "Kana kodhi yacho yangogadzwa, kumanikidza chiremera chako chakasikwa kunoda hurukuro nemirayiridzo yakajeka:" Ndinokurambidza kuita seizvi, hazviitike, ndiri amai vako, baba vako, ndini ndinosarudza, kwete iwe! Zvakafanana, hapana chikonzero chekusimbirira, ini handidzokeri pane yangu sarudzo, kana iwe usingabvumirani, iwe enda kukamuri yako kuti udzikame. “ Chinhu chakakosha ndechekuti usambokanda mapfumo pasi pazvinhu zvinonyanya kukosha kwauri, uchikudziridza hunhu hwevana vako uye kusarudzika.. Ehe, chiremera chakanyatso dzika chinosungirwa chirango kana zvichidikanwa, asi, zvakare, tevera modhi yerezinesi remapoinzi. Hupenzi hudiki, chirango chidiki! Hupenzi hukuru, chirango chikuru! Dzivirira njodzi dzinoitika kana vakasateerera pachine nguva, zvakakosha kuti vazive zvavari kuzviisa pachena kwazviri. Hapana kurohwa hongu, nekuti chirango chekurohwa chinoreva chisimba chemuviri nehasha, kwete chiremera. Kukwanisa kutaura pasina kuoma kana mhosva: "Ndinofunga izvi zvakakunakira iwe!" », Ndichiri kuramba ndakateerera uye munhaurirano, kuwana chiyero pakati pehumwe hwemwana wake uye chokwadi chehupenyu, ndiro basa revabereki vemazuva ano. Tinogona kubheja kuti vachabudirira nemavara anobhururuka!
* Munyori webhuku ra“Muri Vabereki Vapi? Diki glossary yevabereki nhasi ”, ed. Marabout.
Uri vabereki vapi? Chidzidzo che "Partners", chakaitwa neABC agency, chakaburitsa mamodheru mashanu edzidzo akasiyana zvakanyanya kubva kune mumwe nemumwe. Ndeipi yako? Vadziviriri (39%Vakangwarira zvikuru uye vachigutsikana nebasa ravo, kuremekedza chiremera imbiru inokosha yemuenzaniso wavo wedzidzo, uye vanopa nzvimbo inokosha kumhuri. Kune vabereki ava, isu takaenda kure nevana mune chero chinhu, kushivirira, kushaikwa kwehurongwa, isu tinofanirwa kudzokera, kudzokera kune yakapfuura, kune yakanaka tsika dzekare dzakagadzira chiratidzo. uchapupu. Vanoti tsika nedzidzo zvechinyakare zvakaiswa mavari nevabereki vavo. Neobobos (29%)Idzo dzataidaidza kuti "post-Dolto" dzakashanduka zvishoma nezvishoma. Vanogara vachisiya nzvimbo inokosha yekukurukurirana pakati pezvizvarwa, asi vakaziva kukosha kwemiganhu. Kukurukurirana, kuteerera kumwana uye kumukurudzira kukudziridza unhu hwake kwakanaka, asi unofanirawo kuziva kuzvimanikidzira uye kuita chiito kana zvichidikanwa. Kana ikadarika miganhu, haigamuchirwi. Zvazvino uno, neobobos inoenderana nenguva. Dzakabvaruka (20%)Vanonzwa vakasununguka, vakazara nekusagutsikana, kupokana, uye kushamisika. Leitmotif yavo: zvakaoma sei kurera vana! Kamwe kamwe, ivo vanotenderera pakati peiyo yapfuura modhi uye yemazuva ano, vachishandisa checkered chiremera, chinosiyana maererano nemafungiro avo. Vanozvipira uye vanonyanya-vakaoma kana vasingachagoni kuzvitora zvakare. Vanofunga kuti kudzoka kwezvirango chinhu chakanaka, asi vanonzwa vane mhosva uye vachizengurira kushandisa zvirango. Vanoda kudzidziswa maitirwo acho. Vanofamba netambo (7%Vanofuratira tsika dzezuro uye vari kutsvaga chiyero chitsva chekuenderana nenyika yanhasi. Chinangwa chavo ndechekudzidzisa vana kurwa munyika isina tsitsi. Vanokudziridza pfungwa yokuchinjira, pfungwa yokuva nomutoro, uye mukana. Kugonesa vanhu (5%).Vane chido chinoratidzwa kuita kuti mwana wavo ave munhu anokurumidza kuzvitonga, ane zvose zvaanogona kuti abudirire muupenyu! Vanobata mwana wavo semunhu mukuru, vanomusundira kuti akure nokukurumidza kupfuura zvisikwa, kumupa rusununguko rwakawanda, kunyange ruduku. Vanotarisira zvakawanda kubva kwaari, anofanirwa kuenda nekuyerera uye hapana mubvunzo wekumudzivirira zvakanyanya. |