"Mhuri" kuongororwa: sei kusiyanisa mhuri ine utano kubva kune dambudziko?

Sei dzimwe mhuri dzichiva nezvinetso asi dzimwe dzichiramba dzakagwinya? Zvichida pane imwe nzira yekuwirirana uye mufaro? “Ngatipfuurei pachikumbaridzo chemhuri iri kunetseka ndokuona kuti chii chaizvo chiri kunetsa mairi, sezvazvinofanira kuva,” anonyora kudaro Valentina Moskalenko, munyori webhuku rinonzi “I Have My Own Script. Nzira yekufadza mhuri yako.

Ngatitangei nemhuri ine nhamo. Zvichida, mumwe munhu anozviziva pachake murondedzero. Mumhuri yakadaro, hupenyu hwose hunotarisana nedambudziko rimwe chete nemutakuri waro. Semuenzaniso, amai vanodzvinyirira kana vanodzvinyirira kana baba kana baba, kutengesa kweumwe wevadyidzani, kubva kwake kubva kumhuri, kupindwa muropa - zvinodhaka, zvinodhaka, doro kana manzwiro, pfungwa kana chimwe chirwere chisingarapike chemumwe wemhuri. Urongwa urwu haruna kukwana, uye mumwe nemumwe wedu anogona kufunga zviri nyore nezvemamwe matambudziko mashoma.

Mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, vana vanonyanya kutambura ndevaya vanoshaya hanya - shure kwezvose, inotarisana nedambudziko guru remhuri. “Chimwe chinhu chinofanira kuregwa nokuda kwokusashanda zvakanaka, uye kuzvipira kwokutanga, chokwadika, kushamwaridzana kwakanaka kwemhuri,” anonyora kudaro Valentina Moskalenko.

Mumhuri ipi neipi, panofanira kuva nezvikamu zvakakosha: simba, nguva yeumwe neumwe, kutendeseka, kuratidza manzwiro nezvimwe zvakawanda. Ngatitarisei maitiro aya mune ese mamodheru - ane hutano uye ane dambudziko.

Simba: chiremera kana mutongi

Mumhuri dzine utano hwakanaka, vabereki vane simba rokuchengeta nhevedzano yakati. Asi vanoshandisa simba zviri nyore. "Dambudziko" vabereki vanoita zvisingatauriki uye kunyange nechisimba - "Zvichava zvakadaro nokuti ndati", "Nekuti ndiri baba (amai)", "Mumba mangu munhu wose achararama nemitemo yangu."

Panowanzova nekuvhiringidzika pakati pevakuru vane chiremera uye vanhu vakuru vanozvimiririra. Valentina Moskalenko anotsanangura musiyano. Vabereki vane chiremera vanoteerera vana nedzimwe nhengo dzemhuri vasati vaita chisarudzo chine chokuita nomunhu wose. Muhutongi hwehutongi, sarudzo inoitwa nemunhu mumwe chete, maonero evamwe haana kuverengerwa.

Aftermath

Kana takakurira mumhuri yakadaro, ipapo rimwe zuva tinowana kuti mirangariro yedu, zvishuvo, zvinodikanwa hazvina fariro kumunhu upi noupi. Uye isu tinowanzo kubereka iyi pateni muhupenyu hwepashure. Isu tinosarudza vatinoshanda navo avo "zvakakwana nemukana" vasingaise zvatinoda mune chero chinhu.

Nguva imari, asi havasi vose vanoiwana

Mumhuri ine hutano, kune nguva yemunhu wese, nekuti munhu wese akakosha uye akakosha, nyanzvi yepfungwa ndeyechokwadi. Mumhuri isingashande, hapana tsika yekutaura, kubvunza nezve manzwiro, zvaunofarira uye zvinodiwa. Kana mibvunzo ikabvunzwa, ivo vari pabasa: "Magiredhi ari sei?" Pane nguva dzose zvinhu zvinokosha zvokuita kupfuura upenyu hwemhuri.

Kazhinji zvirongwa zvinogadzirwa mumhuri dzakadaro, asi zvino vanochinja, zvipikirwa zvekupedza nguva nevana hazvina kuchengetwa. Vabereki vanopa kaviri, mirairo yakasarudzika, nekuda kwekuti mwana haazive maitiro uye maitiro ekuita. “Ndinofarira zvikuru zvamakadzidza mukarati. Asi ini handikwanise kuenda kumakwikwi ako - ndine zvakawanda zvekuita." Kana kuti “Ndinokuda. Famba-famba, usapinda munzira."

"Vabereki vane dambudziko" vanogona kuti: "Nguva imari." Asi panguva imwecheteyo, chisikwa chakakosha uye chakakosha - mwana wake - haana kuwana chishongo ichi.

Migumisiro

Zvatinofarira nezvatinoda hazvina kukosha. Hatina kukodzera nguva nengwariro. Zvadaro tinowana mudiwa watinozorora naye panguva dzakasiyana, tinojaira kuti hatina simba rakakwana - murume kana mudzimai ane basa rakawanda, shamwari, mapurojekiti anokosha.

Kodzero yekuvaraidzwa

Mumhuri dzine hutano, kunze kwemabasa anosungirwa anosungirwa - basa, kudzidza, kuchenesa - kune nzvimbo yemitambo, kuzorora, uye varaidzo. Yakakomba uye "isina-yakakomba" makesi akaenzana. Basa nemabasa zvakagoverwa pakati pemitezo yemhuri zvakaenzana, zvakaringana.

Mumhuri dzine dambudziko, hapana kuenzana. Mwana anokura nokukurumidza, anotora mabasa evanhu vakuru. Mabasa aamai nababa akaturikwa paari - semuenzaniso, kudzidzisa vanun'una nehanzvadzi. Iwe unogona kazhinji kunzwa mukero yevana vakwegura - "Watova munhu mukuru."

Kana kumwe kunyanyisa: vana vanosiiwa vachiita zvavanoda. Vane nguva yakawanda. Vabereki vanovabhadhara nemari, chero bedzi vasingapindiri. Mhirizhonga ndeimwe yesarudzo dzehukama husina hutano mumhuri. Hapana mitemo, hapana ane mhosva kune chero chinhu. Hakuna tsika nemagariro. Kazhinji mhuri dzinofamba-famba nembatya dzakasviba kana dzakabvaruka, dzinogara mufurati isina kutsvinda.

Aftermath

Iwe haugone kutambisa nguva uchizorora. Iwe haugone kuzorora. Tinofanira kutarisira vamwe, asi kwete isu pachedu. Kana sarudzo: sei kutora rimwe bhizinesi, hazvina musoro.

Manzwiro ane nzvimbo here?

Mumhuri dzine hutano, manzwiro evamwe vanhu anokosheswa, anogona kuratidzwa. Mumhuri dzine nhamo, mirangariro yakawanda inorambidzwa. "Usadzvova", "Chimwe chinhu chaunonyanya kufara", "Haugone kutsamwa." Mumhuri dzakadaro, vana vanowanzova nemhosva, kutsamwa uye kunyadziswa kwemanzwiro avo pachavo. Mumhuri dzine hutano, gamut yose yemanzwiro inogamuchirwa: mufaro, kusuruvara, kutsamwa, kugadzikana, rudo, ruvengo, kutya, ushingi. Tiri vanhu vapenyu - chirevo ichi chiripo chinyararire mumhuri dzakadai.

Aftermath

Takadzidza kuvanza manzwiro edu echokwadi kwete kune vamwe chete, asiwo isu pachedu. Uye izvi zvinotidzivirira kubva pakutendeseka, kuvhurika, kuratidza muhukama nemudiwa uye nevana vedu mune ramangwana. Isu tinopfuudza baton yekusanzwa pasi pasi pachikuva.

Kutendeseka Kunodiwa

Muukama hwakanaka, takatendeseka kune vatinoda. Vana nevabereki vanogovana. Mhuri dzisina hutano dzine nhema dzakawanda uye zvakavanzika kunze kwebhuruu. Vemba vanojaira kunyepa nekubuda zvisina basa. Zvimwe zvakavanzika zvinochengetwa zvakakiyiwa uye kiyi kwemakore, zvichipfuudzwa kubva kuchizvarwa kuenda kune chimwe chizvarwa, "kubuda" nenzira isingatarisirwe uye inotyisa. Kuchengeta chakavanzika kunoda simba rakawanda kubva kuhurongwa hwemhuri. Uye mumhuri ine hutano, simba iri raigona kushandiswa mukusimudzira.

Aftermath

Takadzidza kunyepa kwete chete munzira huru, asiwo muzvinhu zvidiki. Hurukuro yakatendeseka haiwaniki kwatiri. Uye isu tinoburitsa iyi modhi muhukama hwedu humwe.

Kudyidzana uye kukura kwemunhu

Mumhuri dzine hutano, nhengo dzayo dzinotsigira kubudirira kwevamwe, batsira mune izvi. Farai mukukunda, nzwirai tsitsi nekukundikana. Remekedza manzwiro uye zvido zvevamwe vanhu. Mhuri yakadaro inozviziva pachayo seboka rimwe chete, apo rimwe kune vose uye vose kune rimwe. Kubatsira kwemunhu wese kune zvakajairika kunokosheswa pano.

Mumhuri dzine dambudziko, pane kudaro, kukura kwomunhu hakuwanzokurudzirwa. "Sei uchida izvi? Ndoda kutsvaga basa." Tsigiro nemvumo zvinogona kuwanikwa chete kana zviito zvemumwe wemumhuri zvichibatsira mhuri. Sei mudzimai akasarudza kuenda kupenda pa35? Chii chiri kushandiswa kweizvi? Ndoda kugeza mahwindo.

Aftermath

Takadzidza uye tinokwanisa zvakakwana kuisa pfungwa pane vamwe, asi kwete pachedu. Uye kubva panguva ino, imwe nhanho kuenda kune codependency.

Nzira yekuve sei mhuri ine hutano?

Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Claudia Black, ane mazwi akataurwa mubhuku, akatsanangura mitemo yemhuri isingabatsiri ine "matatu" matatu: usataure, usanzwa, usavimba. Valentina Moskalenko anopa 10 zviratidzo zvemhuri ine utano, izvo zvatinofanira kuedza.

1. Matambudziko anoonekwa uye anogadziriswa.

2. Inokurudzira rusununguko rwekuona, kufunga, nhaurirano, sarudzo uye kugadzira, kodzero yekuve nemanzwiro avo uye zvido zvavo.

3. Nhengo imwe neimwe yemhuri ine kukosha kwayo kwakasiyana, kusiyana pakati pehama kunokosheswa.

4. Nhengo dzemhuri dzinoziva kuzvitarisira uye hadzidi kudzivirirwa zvakanyanya.

5. Vabereki itai zvavanotaura, chengetai zvitsidzo.

6. Mabasa mumhuri anosarudzwa, kwete kuisirwa.

7. Iine nzvimbo yekuvaraidza uye yekuvaraidza.

8. Zvikanganiso zvinoregererwa - vanodzidza kubva kwavari.

9. Mhuri yakazaruka kune mazano matsva, iripo yekusimudzira murume, uye kwete kudzvinyirira.

10. Mitemo yemhuri inochinjika, inogona kukurukurwa uye kuchinjwa.

Mumwe munhu ari ega mumhuri rimwe zuva anoona kuti hupenyu hauna kudaro. Uye kana akaedza kuziva izvi ndokuishandisa muupenyu hwake, achatora danho guru rokupora.