“Mafaro Akarambidzwa”: Kuita zvinhu zvawaisabvumirwa kuita uchiri mwana

Ndakafamba mumugwagwa ndakatakura pie. Inonaka, inodziya, ichangobva kutengwa kubva kune mini-bakery munzira yekuenda kumba. Uye pandakangoiunza kumuromo wangu, inzwi raambuya vangu rakamuka mumusoro mangu: “Usaruma! Usadya uchienda!”

Mumwe nomumwe wedu ane mufaro wedu muduku - mafaro ane mhosva, sezvavanodanwa munyika inotaura Chirungu. Pane chimwe chinhu chepfungwa chakarurama mukutaura uku - chakarurama kupfuura kunyange "chinorambidzwa" kana "chakavanzika" mufaro. Zvichida "asina mhosva" muchiRussia ari pedyo, asi "kwete" chikamu chinoshandura zvakanyanya zvinoreva. Runako rwese rwakangori, zvinoita sekunge, mukunzwa kwemhosva uku. Mhosva inoturikirwa kubva kuChirungu ichinzi "waini". Aya mafaro atinonzwa tine mhosva nawo. Zvinobva kupi?

Zvechokwadi, uyu ndiwo muchero wakarambidzwa. Kurambidzwa uye kutapira. Vazhinji vedu takapiwa miganhu nemirau sevana. Kuvatyora, isu takangonzwa tine mhosva - nekuti zvinogoneka, sezvazvakaita kwatiri, mhedzisiro yakaipa kwatiri isu kana vamwe - "mbuya vachagumbuka kana ukasadya chisvusvuro chaakabika", "kudya pakufamba kwakashata kugaya. ” Dzimwe nguva tainzwa kunzwa kunyara - kana kukanganisa kwaiva nezvapupu, kunyanya avo vakatirambidza.

Muna 1909, muHungarian psychoanalyst Sandor Ferenczi akagadzira izwi rekuti "nhanganyaya". Saka akadana nzira yekusaziva, semugumisiro watinotora kutenda muhuduku, inosanganisira munyika yedu yemukati "matangiro" - zvitendero, maonero, mitemo kana mafungiro akagamuchirwa kubva kune vamwe: nzanga, vadzidzisi, mhuri.

Izvi zvingave zvakakosha kuitira kuti mwana aite maererano nemitemo yekuchengeteka, tsika dzekuita munharaunda uye mitemo yenyika yake. Asi dzimwe sumo dzine chokuita nemibato yezuva nezuva kana kuti miitiro. Uye, tichikura, tinogona kuzvifunga patsva, tichirasa kana kugovera tatoziva. Somuenzaniso, kana tichida kudya kunovaka muviri, “idya muto” waamai uye “usashandise zvihwitsi zvisina kunaka” zvinogona kuva sarudzo yedu pachedu.

Kune vanhu vazhinji, majekiseni anoramba ari mukati, achifurira maitiro. Mumwe munhu anongoenderera mberi asingazivi kurwisana navo, "kunamira" mukuratidzira kwevechiri kuyaruka. Uye mumwe munhu, asingazvibvumiri kuputsa zvirambidzo, anoshora vamwe nehasha nokuda kworusununguko rwavo rwokuita.

Dzimwe nguva, mukugadzirisa kwekufungisisa, pfungwa dzevabereki kana mudzidzisi dzinogona kurambwa, uye zvino tinoparadza sumo, "kupfira" kurambidzwa kusingakodzeri isu.

Hezvino izvo zvinonyorwa nevashandisi vesocial media nezvekunakidzwa kwavo nemhosva:

• "Ndinotamba kumimhanzi ndine mahedhifoni pandinofamba mumugwagwa."
• “Ndinogona kugadzira saladhi nemadomasi chete! Zvinoitika kuti magaka anosarudzika! "
• "Ndinodya jamu kubva muchirongo, ndisina kuiendesa muvhasi. Sekuona kwaambuya, ichi chitadzo!”
• "Ndinogona kuita chimwe chinhu manheru: enda kuchitoro kumasere, tanga kubika muto kumagumi nerimwe. Mhuri yakatenda kuti zvinhu zvose zvinofanira kuitwa mangwanani - nokukurumidza zviri nani. Dzimwe nguva zvaiita zvine musoro. Somuenzaniso, muchitoro, chokwadi, manheru kwakanga kusina chinhu - "vakakanda" chimwe chinhu chakakosha mangwanani. Asi ipapo hwaro hune musoro hwakakanganikwa, uye maitiro akasara: mangwanani haugone kuverenga, tarisa bhaisikopo, wallow, inwa kofi kwenguva yakareba ... "
• "Ndinonyika mapakeke mugaba rekrimu yakavava pakubika."
• "Ndakura - uye ndinogona kuchenesa pandinenge ndakuda, uye kwete hazvo neMugovera mangwanani."
• "Ndinonwa cocoa yakaomeswa kubva mugaba! Iwe unoita maburi maviri - uye voila, nekita iri kudurura!
• “Handi“tambanudzi” zvokudya zvinonaka zvakadai separmesan kana jamoni kwenguva yakareba, ndinongozvidya pakarepo.”
• “Kubuda kuenda kuchitoro kana nembwa dzakapfeka bhurugwa redikita. Vabereki vangashamisika.”
• “Pandinenge ndichida kuchenesa kana kugeza mahwindo, ndinokoka sevhisi yekuchenesa: zvinongosiririsa kutambisa nguva yako pane izvi. Ndinogona kupedza zuva rose nebhuku pakupera kwevhiki, kana ini ndichida, uye kwete kuita chero bhizinesi.
• "Ndinofamba-famba mumba ndisina kupfeka (dzimwe nguva ndinoridza gitare saizvozvo)."

Zvinoitika kuti mumhuri dzakasiyana maitiro anogona kupikiswa zvakanyanya:

• “Ndakatanga kupfeka masiketi nemakeup!”
• “Ndichiri mudiki, ndaisabvumidzwa kufamba ndakapfeka magemenzi nemabhurugwa, nekuti #uri musikana. Hazvina maturo kutaura, muhupenyu hwangu hwevanhu vakuru ndinopfeka masiketi nemadhirezi zvakanyanya kamwechete kana kaviri pagore.

Sezvineiwo, mashoko anonyanya kufarirwa anosanganisira “Handiaini,” “Ndinochenesa pandinoda, kana kuti handichenese kwenguva refu,” uye “Handiwariri mubhedha wangu.” Zvichida muuduku hwedu izvi zvinodiwa nevabereki zvaidzokororwa kakawanda.

• “Ndakauraya hafu yehudiki hwangu nekuda kweizvi! Pandinoyeuka gomo rerineni randaifanira kuaina, ndinodedera kudaro!”
• “Handina kugadzira masherufu nemakabhati mumba mangu kuti ndisapukute huruva, ndichinhonga zvinhu zvese.

Zvirambidzo zvatinoona sezvakanaka zvinonakidza, asi isu tichiri kutyora nemaune, tichiwana mufaro unokosha kubva pane izvi:

• “Pandinoenda kunzvimbo ine hunhu kunoona bhaisikopo rehungwaru, ndinogara ndichiisa bhodhoro reRiga Balsam nebhegi remachokoreti kana nzungu mubhegi rangu. Uye ndinoruza nezvihwitsi.
• “Ndinopukuta pasi nechigunwe changu mushure mekurasa tii inotapira. Mufaro unokahadzika, wechokwadi, uri kutsika pauriri hwakanamira.
• "Ndinogocha dumplings pasina chivharo pachitofu chichangobva kuwachwa."
• “Handichengete magetsi. Chiedza chiri mufurati rose.
• “Ini handitakure chikafu kubva mumapoto nemagango ndichiisa mumagaba asi kuti ndinongoisa mufiriji. Ndine nzvimbo yakakwana, kusiyana naamai vangu.

Kurambwa kwezvirambidzo kunogonawo kufananidzirwa pakurerwa kwevana:

• "Mafungiro makuru anotyora anoitika panguva yekuonekwa kwevana. Iwe unovabvumira izvo vabereki vako zvausina kukubvumira iwe uye iwe pachako: dyisa paunoda, rara pamwe chete, usatambise hembe (uye kunyanya kubva kumativi maviri), svetuka mumugwagwa mumatope, usapfeke slippers, usapfeka. pfeka heti mune chero mamiriro ekunze. .
• "Ndakarega mwanakomana wangu achipenda wallpaper sezvaaida. Munhu wose anofara.”

Uye dzimwe nguva inguva yedzidzo yatinorangarira maitiro evabereki, toziva kugona kwavo uye tozvipfuudza kuvana vedu:

• “Kana wava mubereki iwe pachako, zvirambidzo zvose izvi zvinodzoka, nokuti unofanira kuratidza muenzaniso. Uye pfeka ngowani, uye zvihwitsi - chete mushure mekudya.
• “Nekuuya kwevana, zvirambidzo zvakawanda zvinobva zvakurumidza kuva nezvazvinoreva. Zvakanaka, kazhinji, upenzi kuenda usina heti kana kuchitonhora, uye usashamba maoko ako usati wadya. ”

Mamwe mafaro anongotyora dzimwe tsika dzakajairika:

• “Ndine mufaro mumwe chete une mhosva, uyo, zvisinei, hapana akandirambidza. Ini pachangu ndakadzidza nezvazvo makore mashoma apfuura kubva kuAmerican TV series. Mufaro uri pakuti kudya kwemanheru unodya ... kudya kwemangwanani. Zviyo nemukaka, toast nejamu uye mamwe mafaro. Zvinoita sokupenga, asi vaya vanodya kudya kwemangwanani ndiko kwavanonyanya kufarira vanofanira kuzvikoshesa.”

"Mafaro ane mhosva anogona kuunza kumwe kungoerekana kwaitika muhupenyu hwedu"

Elena Chernyaeva - psychologist, nhoroondo nyanzvi

Manzwiro emhosva anogona kukamurwa zvakadarikidza kuva marudzi maviri - ane hutano uye asina hutano, ane chepfu. Tinganzwa tine mhosva yakanaka kana taita chimwe chinhu chisina kufanira kana kuti chinokuvadza. Mhosva yerudzi urwu inotiudza kuti, “Wakanganisa. Ita chimwe chinhu nezvazvo." Kunotibatsira kuziva zviito zvedu zvakaipa, kunotikurudzira kupfidza uye kugadzirisa kukanganisa kunenge kwaitwa.

Mhosva ine muchetura manzwiro akabatana neimwe mitemo, inofanira kubva kubva kune vabereki, tsika kana magariro zvinotarisirwa. Kazhinji kazhinji tinovatevedzera muhudiki, hatizvioni nguva dzose, hativaise pasi pekuongororwa kwakasimba, hationgorore kuti vanopindirana sei nemamiriro ehupenyu hwedu.

Mhosva haimuki yega - tinodzidza kuinzwa tichiri vaduku, kusanganisira patinotsoropodzwa, kutukwa pamusoro pezvatinoita zvakaipa kubva pakuona kwevanhu vakuru: vabereki, vanasekuru, vadzidzisi, vadzidzisi.

Kuona mhosva ine chepfu inofambiswa nezwi re "mutsoropodzi wemukati", iro rinotiudza kuti tiri kuita chimwe chinhu chakaipa, usatevedzera seti yemitemo uye inofanirwa. Inzwi iri rinodzokorora mashoko nezvirevo zvatakambonzwa kubva kune vamwe vanhu, kazhinji vanhu vakuru.

Mutsoropodzi wemukati anogara achiongorora mazwi edu, zviito uye kunyange manzwiro, achitienzanisa neinofungidzira uye isingagoneki kubudirira. Uye sezvo tisingasviki pairi: hatitauri, hatiiti chinhu, uye hatinzwi “sezvazvinofanira kuva,” mutsoropodzi nguva dzose achava nezvikonzero zvisingagumi zvokuzvidza.

Naizvozvo, zvakakodzera kuva nehanya nokunzwa kwokuva nemhaka. Tazvinzwa, zvakakosha kuti tizviudze "kumira" uye kudzidza zviri kuitika mupfungwa dzedu uye izvo izwi remutsoropodzi riri kutaura. Zvakakodzera kuzvibvunza kuti izwi iri rine chinangwa chei, uye rudzii rwebasa kana mutemo uri seri kwekunzwa mhosva. Mitemo iyi, tarisiro yatinotongwa nayo nemutsoropodzi wemukati, ndeyechinyakare here? Pamwe pari zvino takatoumba pfungwa itsva dzekuita.

Uye, zvechokwadi, zvakakosha kuziva migumisiro yekushandisa mutemo mune imwe mamiriro ezvinhu. Ndezvipi zvazvinoreva kwenguva pfupi uye kwenguva refu kwatiri uye kune vamwe vanhu vanobatanidzwa? Mutemo uyu une musoro here, ukapihwa uyo uchakuvadza nekubatsira? Munhu anogona kuzvibvunza kana ichitikodzera nhasi, kana ichitibatsira kugutsa zvatinoda zvinokosha zvikuru.

Kana tikaziva kuti chii uye sei chinopesvedzera maitiro edu, zvinoita kuti tiite sarudzo yedu pachedu, maererano nezvatinofarira nezvatinokoshesa. Izvi zvinoita kuti tinzwe takasununguka uye tinokwanisa kuchinja upenyu hwedu. Naizvozvo, mafaro ane mhosva anogona kuunza mufaro wakawedzerwa uye nekuzvimirira muhupenyu hwedu uye kuve matanho akananga kuhupenyu hwatinogadzira isu pachedu, tichiramba izvo zvechinyakare uye zvisingatibatsire, kutora izvo zvaive zvine musoro munguva yedu yakapfuura, uye kuunza chii-chimwe chinhu chitsva.

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Ndakakura kare kare, uye zvirambidzo zvine vavariro dzakanaka zvakaiswa mumusoro mangu zvichiri mundangariro dzangu. Uye ini, ndatova munhu mukuru, ndinogona kuita sarudzo yekuziva: iva nemoyo murefu uye uuye nepie kumba kuti uidye neyakagadzirwa kumba (mbuya, iwe ungadada neni!) Borscht, kana kuiparadza pakarepo, kuwana mufaro mukuru, kuwedzeredzwa nemafungiro akafanana emwana anorambidzwa. Manzwiro ekuti, sezvamunoziva, dzimwe nguva ndiyo yakanakisa mwaka wekufara kudiki.