“Haadi vana. Kuva sei?

“Pandakatanga kuudza murume wangu kuti ndinoda mwana, akaita seasina kundinzwa. Kechipiri akati, "Rega kutaura zvisina maturo, hazvisi zvekutamba!" Mushure mekuedza kakapetwa kaviri, ndakaona kuti kwaisava kupenga kana kuseka, asi ndakaramba ndichiramba.

Pose pataiona mukadzi ane pamuviri kana kuti chingoro chemwana mumugwagwa, chiso chake chairatidza musanganiswa wokusemburwa uye kuva nemhaka. Uye zvakadaro ndakaedza kumunzwisisa. Ndakanga ndine chokwadi chokuti, ndichipinda munyika yekutya kwake, ndaigona kumunyengetedza kuti abvume.

Maria ane makore 30 okukura akanga akarurama, achivimba nokunzwisisa kwake. Pane zvikonzero zvakawanda nei murume asingadi kuva baba, uye kana ukaedza kuzvinzwisisa, unogona kumanikidza mumwe wako kuti achinje pfungwa dzake.

mashoko ekukurudzira

Ecology yakaipa, imba diki, matambudziko nebasa… Makakatanwa ese aya anogona kugadziriswa. Kazhinji zvakakwana kutsanangurira mudiwa, kunyange uyo akaomerera, kuti chinhu chinonyanya kukosha kumwana ndechekudiwa.

Nhanho inotevera ndeyekukurudzira tarisiro yababa venguva yemberi, vachimuvimbisa kuti kana iwe wakamusarudza, iwe une chokwadi chokuti anokwanisa kuita kuti mwana afare.

"Kana mwana achangosvika, taura zvakanaka kune kudya kwemanheru uye kupera kwevhiki kwakashata. Pane kudaro, iwe unoda kumuka usiku kana mwana achirwara, kumuendesa kuchikoro mangwanani oga oga, muchidimbu - hupenyu hwemusha mune slippers. Kwete ndatenda!”

Kana mumwe wako achitya kurasikirwa nerusununguko rwake, mutsanangurire kuti kusvika kwechecheche hakuzoshanduri hupenyu hwezuva nezuva mujeri kana yakanyatsorongeka.

Naizvozvo Sofia ane makore 29 okukura akapwisa murume wake Fedor, kuti: “Ndakawana muchengeti kunyange Ian asati anambwa. Uye nhaurirano payakabata mari, akadzokorora kuti tose tinoshanda, izvo zvinoreva kuti hatizofanira kusiya tsika dzedu zhinji… Tisingarevi musikana akanaka uye akasununguka — amai vangu tinavo zvizere.

Uye zvakadaro: chii chinotyisa varume vakawanda? Mutoro wemutoro. Ivo vanotya kusasvika padanho uye kunetsekana nepfungwa ye "kutadza" bvunzo yebaba. Kutya uku kungakundwa sei? Rega kuita zvemadrama.

Kuzvidya mwoyo kuchapera nokukurumidza kana kuti gare gare, kufanana nengano dzakawanda dzepwere dzinopera nokukura.

Chimwe chikonzero chinozivikanwa kutya kuchembera. Mark ane makore makumi matatu nemana ari munzira dzese akavharirwa kubva pamufungo wekuchinja kune vakaroorana vavo: "Kwandiri, kuva mubereki zvinoreva kutendeuka kubva kuna Mark kuenda kuna Mark Grigoryevich. Ira paakandiudza kuti aida mwana, ndakavhunduka. Uhu hudiki, ndinonzwisisa, asi chinhu chekutanga chakauya mupfungwa ndechekuti zvino ndichafanira kusiya mudiwa wangu Volkswagen Karmann uye kutyaira mota diki!

Passion ndiyo nzira yedu

Chii chinofanira kuva chigadzikiso? Kuratidza kune avo vanopokana kuti zvinokwanisika kuva baba uye kwete kurega kuva mudiki uye kudiwa panguva imwe chete. Nyora kwaari shamwari dzakatora danho iri rinokosha uye vakakwanisa kuramba vari ivo.

Uye iwe unogona zvakare kukurudzira narcissism yake nekukakavara kuti hubaba huchaita kuti awedzere kutaridzika: mushure mezvose, vakadzi vanonyunguduka uye vanofara pamberi pemurume ane mwana.

Tamba pane zvaanoda. “Ndaisada kumumanikidza kuita chero chinhu. Akangotaura kuti zvinhu zvose zvinofanira kugadziriswa nemazvo. Akarega kushandisa zvinodzivirira pamuviri, uye takanga tichitarisira mwana pasina kuchinja upenyu hwemhuri. Ndakazobata pamuviri papera makore maviri, uye murume wangu akafara paakaziva kuti ndaiva nepamuviri,” anodaro Marianna ane makore 27.

Zviitiko zviviri zvokufananidzira

Varume, saDmitry ane makore 40, havavimbe nevakadzi avo vanova amai vanonyanya kufunga. “Sofia akati aida mwana mushure memwedzi mitatu chete kubva patatanga kudanana. Ndaifunga kuti zvakanyanyisa!

Pamakore makumi matatu nemashanu, akanga ava kutonzwa "kukwenya" kwewachi yake yehupenyu, uye ndakanzwa ndabatwa. Ndokumukumbira kuti amirire. Zvechokwadi, kazhinji vakadzi vanoita basa vanoisa nguva yavo yose mubasa kuitira kuti pazera remakore makumi mana "vanomuka" uye vanotya, vasingatyi ivo chete, asiwo nevarume vavo.

Uye heino mamwe mamiriro ezvinhu chaiwo: varume vanotova nevana kubva kumuchato wavo wekutanga vanobatwa nemhosva nekuda kwekufunga kuti vanogona "kuva" nemumwe mwana. Havagoni kuronga mwana mutsva nepo dangwe rake richikura kure.

Vanofananidza kurambana nekusiya vana. Mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, usakurumidza. Mupe nguva yekunyatsoona "kuchema" kwewanano yake yekare uye kuziva kuti akasiya mukadzi wake chete, asi kwete vana.

Kana murume akazvibata ane mwana

“Ita bvunzo inotevera: bvunza amai kuti ndiani wavachatanga kuponesa kana kukaitika mafashamo: murume wavo kana mwana wavo. Iye anozopindura nemusikirwo: "Mwana, nekuti anondida zvakanyanya." Izvi ndizvo zvinonyanya kundisvotesa.

Ndinoda kugara nemukadzi anondiponesa! Pfungwa yokuti ndichafanira kugovera mudzimai nemwana, kunyange ari wanguwo, inondipengesa, Timur ane makore 38 anobvuma. "Ndosaka ndisingadi vana: ini handidi basa rekutsigira zvachose."

Nyanzvi yepfungwa inonzi Mauro Mancha inotsinhira nezvemashoko aya: “Chinhu chiri chose chinova chakaoma zvikuru kana murume akatanga kutora nzvimbo yomwanakomana wake nenzira yokufananidzira. Achiona ukama hwake nemukadzi se "amai-mwanakomana", haazoregi mumwe mwana pakati pavo. Zvakare muhukama hwakadaro hwepathological, dambudziko rekuramba rinomuka zvakare. Achidzokera mupfungwa kumamiriro ezvinhu omwana, murume haazokwanisi kutora mutoro unoberekwa nemunhu mukuru.

Panguva imwecheteyo neurotic pamwero ndeavo, nekuzvarwa kwemwana, vanorarama zvekare "kuvengana kwehama" - kukwikwidzana nemukoma wechidiki nekuda kwevabereki. Nekuuya kwomwana, varume vakadaro vanonzwa varambwa uye vakasiiwa, somuuduku, uye havagoni kunyange kutakura mufungo wokuva noupenyu zvakare.

Iyo isina kugadziriswa Oedipus yakaoma zvakare chikonzero chekusada kuva baba. Zvinosvika pakuti murume anoshaya simba nekuda kwekugona kuve mai kwemukadzi wake. Haakwanise kuita rudo kumukadzi anongoitira hanya madiapers nekuyamwisa.

Nekuti mai vake rudo rwake rwekutanga, asi rudo urwu haruna kufanira uye runotorwa semakunakuna. Kana mukadzi wake pachake akava amai, ukama naye huchadzokera kuhutano hwemakunakuna, chimwe chinhu chinorambidzwa, icho murume asingachadi.

Imwe musiyano wedambudziko reOedipal: phallic obsession nemukadzi, amai vane masimba ese. Nokudaro, kuva nemwana kunoreva kuendesa kwaari chimiro chekufananidzira che phallus, ndiko kuti, simba uye simba. Kuramba kuita izvi ndiko kumu "castrate".

Zviripachena, marudzi maviri ekukundikana anotsanangurwa ndiwo akaoma zvikuru kugadzirisa, dambudziko ravanobva rakanyanyisa uye rakadzika. Iwe unogona kuedza kupararira kwekanguva kuti uise zvese panzvimbo yayo.

Dzimwe nguva kuputsa kwakadaro kunogona kukubvumira kuti udzoke zvakare mubvunzo wezvikonzero zvepakutanga zvekuramba, asi kune ngozi yokuti pakupedzisira murume achaona kuberekwa kwemwana zvisina kunaka kana asina kutanga aongorora zvakadzama zvepfungwa. yemamiriro ezvinhu naye.

Zvichida nzira chete inoshanda yekutenderera iyi "kwete kune baba" ndeyekugonesa mudiwa nezvekudiwa kwekurapa.

Kana zvakapfuura zvinovhara musuwo wehubaba

Kuramba kwaBoris ane makore 37 okukura kunosimbisa zvikuru: “Chinhu chimwe chete chandinoyeuka pamusoro pababa vangu kurohwa, utsinye uye ruvengo. Manheru ndakabatwa nehope ndichirota kuti achanyangarika muupenyu hwangu. Kuma 16 ndakabva pamba handina kuzomuona futi. Handifungi kuti ndiunze mwana panyika, ndingatya kumufumura pane zvandakatambura ini.

Pavel ane makore 36, pane kudaro, akatambura nokusavapo kwababa muupenyu hwake somwana: “Ndakarerwa naamai vangu, vanatete naambuya. Baba vangu vakatisiya ndiine makore matatu. Ndaimusuwa chaizvo. Handitendi muhupenyu hwemhuri kusvika kuguva. Ndoitawo sei mwana nemukadzi wandinozorambana naye zvichinzi ndisazomuona futi?

Asi kuna Denis ane makore 34 okukura, kuramba kwacho kwakasiyana zvachose: “Ndakaberekwa netsaona, kubva kuvabereki vasina kumbondiziva. Saka nei ini, nechiitiko chakadaro uye chakadaro, ndichifanira kuva nemwana?

Zvinonetsa kuti varume ava vakwane panhongonya dzemadzibaba. Pfungwa yekuve baba inovamanikidza kuti vadzokorore hukama hwavo hwakaipa nemadzibaba avo. Muchiitiko chekare chakadaro, kune ngozi kusimbirira.

Kuti mumwe wacho angashinga here kurapwa uye kuongorora mamiriro ezvinhu kuitira kuti aongorore matambudziko ake asina kugadziriswa uye kuwana kiyi inogona kumuvhurira musuwo wehubaba hwakadzikama kwaari.

Usambofa wakazadzisa chinangwa nekunyengera

Pfungwa yekumisa kudzora kuzvara pasina kubvunza maonero emumwe wako uye nekudaro kuita "netsaona" kubata pamuviri hakuite sekupenga kuvakadzi vazhinji.

Uye zvakadaro: mukadzi ane kodzero yekuita sarudzo yakadaro oga here?

“Ichi ndicho chitarisiko che<em>partogenesis: kusada kubatanidzwa kwomurume munyaya dzokubereka,” anodaro chiremba wepfungwa Corradina Bonafede. "Vakadzi vakadai vanoratidza simba raamai."

Kufuratira chishuvo chomurume nenzira iyi kumunyengedza nokuratidza kusaremekedza. Mushure mekuita kwakadaro, njodzi yokuti murume achasiya mhuri mushure mekuberekwa kwemwana akaiswa paari inowedzera zvikuru.

Chii, ipapoka, chokutaura kumwana munguva yemberi iri pedyo? “Baba vaisakuda, ndini ndakaita kuti ubate pamuviri”? Kwete, nekuti mwana mugumisiro werudo rwevanhu vaviri, kwete mumwe.

Chokwadi ndiye murume anoramba here?

Une chokwadi here kuti murume ndiye asingadi vana, uye kwete iwe pachako? Uye unogumburwa netsaona parudzi urwu rwevarume nguva dzese? Kazhinji vakaroorana vakadaro chiratidzo chemafungiro asina kunaka kune amai vemukadzi pachake.

“Ndakada mwana kumurume wangu ndichiziva kuti anoramba. Mukatikati memweya wangu, ndakanga ndisingadi vana, maonero evanhu uye shamwari, vachitungamirirwa naamai vangu, vaindimanikidza. Uye panzvimbo pokubvuma manzwiro angu, ndakavanda nemhaka yokuramba kwomurume wangu,” anobvuma kudaro Sabina ane makore 30 okukura.

Anna ane makore 30 akaita zvakafanana pavakanga vachirapwa nemhuri. “Rimwe rebasa raive rekuongorora mapikicha akasiyana kubva mumagazini. Ini nemurume wangu taifanira kusarudza iwo mapikicha ayo, mukunzwisisa kwedu, anonyanya kubatana nevana, mhuri, nezvimwe.

Ndakangoerekana ndazviwana ndava kusarudza mifananidzo inovhiringidza: mwana akaremara, chiso chechembere yakatsvuka misodzi, mubhedha wemuchipatara… Ndakaona kuti ndakanga ndakapindwa nekapfungwa nemifananidzo yerufu. Ndakazokwanisa kutaura nezvekutya kwangu kuzvara, kutyisa kwepfungwa yekuti ndaigona kuunza panyika mwana ane hurema hwakakomba kana chirwere. Ndakaratidza kusada kwangu kuita amai kumurume wangu.