Ndeipi yakajairwa uye ndepapi muganho unopfuura wekuti mumwe munhu ave "asina kujairika"? Sei vanhu vachiwanzoita chiseko chavo ivo nevamwe? Psychoanalyst Hilary Handel pane zvakajairika, kunyara kunotyisa uye kuzvigamuchira.
Morticia Addams anobva munhevedzano nezve mhuri yevasina munyama akati: "Zvakajairwa ndezvekunyepa. Zvakajairika kumhungu inyonganyonga kunhunzi.”
Anenge mumwe nemumwe wedu kamwechete kamwe muhupenyu hwake akazvibvunza mubvunzo: "Ini ndakajairika?" Murapi kana chiremba wepfungwa anogona kupindura nekubvunza kuti chikonzero chipi kana mamiriro ehupenyu anoita kuti tisave nechokwadi. Vanhu vazhinji, nekuda kwekukanganisa kwevabereki kana kwekudzidzisa uye kushungurudzika kwevacheche, vanorarama kwemakore mazhinji nehonye yekusahadzika kuti zvimwe zvakarongeka, asi hazvisi ...
Ndekupi, izvi zvakajairwa, uye kuti ungarega sei kuzvifungira wega nezve abnormality? Psychoanalyst Hilary Handel anogovera nyaya yemutengi.
Alex, ane makore makumi maviri nemana ekugadzira mapurogiramu, akabvunza mubvunzo usingatarisirwi muchikamu chenguva dzose. Akanga achiuya kukurapa kwepfungwa kwemwedzi inoverengeka, asi aka kaive kekutanga kubvunza nezvazvo.
– Ndiri normal here?
Sei uchibvunza izvi izvozvi? Hilary akadaro. Izvi zvisati zvaitika, vakanga vambokurukura nezveukama hutsva hwaAlex uye kuti ainzwa zvakanaka sei kuti awedzere kusimba.
“Zvakanaka, ndiri kushamisika kana zviri zvomuzvarirwo kunzwa uchinetseka kudaro.
- Chii chinonzi "chakajairika"? Hilary akabvunza.
Chii chinonzi "zvakajairika"?
Mukuwirirana namaduramazwi, rinoreva “kuwirirana nomupimo, wenguva dzose, chaiwoiwo, avhareji kana kuti anokarirwa, uye pasina kutsauka.”
Asi sei izwi iri rekushandisa maererano nevanhu vese? Vazhinji vedu tinoedza kurarama zvinoenderana netsika nekutaura zvatiri chokwadi zvakasununguka. Wese munhu ane ake ega quirks uye akasarudzika zvaanoda, isu tisinga peri yakaoma uye isina kukwana yakasarudzika zvisikwa. Mabhirioni edu emasero etsinga akarongwa nemajini uye ruzivo rwoupenyu.
Zvakadaro isu dzimwe nguva tinobvunza kwedu pachedu. Sei? Izvi zvinokonzerwa nekutya kwekuzvarwa kwekuramba uye kubviswa, anotsanangura Dr. Handel. Tichifunga pamusoro peizvi, isu tiri kuzvibvunza mibvunzo: "Ndichavakodzera here?", "Ndingadiwa here?", "Ndinofanira kuvanza maitiro angu kuti ndigamuchirwe here?".
Dr. Handel akanyumwira kuti mubvunzo womutengi wacho waingoerekana waitika waiva nechokuita noukama hwake hutsva. Chiripo ndechokuti, rudo runoita kuti tive nyore kurambwa. Nenzira yomuzvarirwo, tinova vanongwarira zvikuru uye vakasvinura, tichitya kuratidza humwe kana humwe hwounhu hwedu.
Kuzvidya mwoyo chikamu chekuva munhu. Zvinoshungurudza, asi tinogona kudzidza kudzikama
Unozvipa mhosva nokuda kwokuzvidya mwoyo here? Hilary akabvunza.
- Hongu.
Unofunga kuti anoti kudii nezvako?
– Ndakaremara sei!
- Alex, ndiani akakudzidzisa kuti uzvitonge nekuda kwezvaunonzwa kana kutambura kwaunoita? Wakadzidzepi kuti kufunganya kunoita kuti uve munhu akaderera? Nokuti hazvisizvo!
- Ndinofunga ndine hurema, nekuti semwana ndakatumirwa kuna chiremba wepfungwa ...
– Hezvinoi! akadaro Hilary.
Dai Alex wechidiki akaudzwa kuti kuzvidya mwoyo chikamu chekuva munhu… Kuti hazvifadzi, asi tinogona kudzidza kudzikama. Unyanzvi uhu hunodiwa chaizvo uye hunokosha muhupenyu. Dai akangoudzwa kuti aizodada nekuziva hunyanzvi uhu, kuti aizova munhu akanaka chaizvo, nhanho imwe pamberi pevazhinji vasati vadzidza kuzvidzikamisa, asi vachinyatsoda ...
Iye zvino Alex akura anoziva kuti kana shamwari yake ikabata kuzvidya mwoyo kwake, vanogona kutaura nezvazvo voona kuti chii chiri kumunetsa. Zvichida haasi munhu wake, kana kuti vangawana mhinduro yakafanana. Chero zvazvingava, tichataura pamusoro pavo vose, uye kwete chete pamusoro pake.
Normality uye kunyara
Kwemakore, kuzvidya mwoyo kwaAlex kwaiwedzerwa nekunyara kwaakanzwa kuti “akakanganisa”. Nyadzi dzinowanzobva papfungwa dzedu dzekuti hatina kujairika kana kuti takasiyana nevamwe. Uye uku hakusi kunzwa kwakanaka kunovimbisa kuti hatizozvibata zvisina kufanira. Ichepfu, nyadzi dzine chepfu dzinoita kuti unzwe uri wega.
Hapana munhu anofanirwa kubatwa zvakaipa nekuda kwezvaari, kunze kwekunge akuvadza vamwe nemaune. Vazhinji vanongoda kuti vamwe vagamuchire isu pachedu uye kutida nokuda kwako, anodaro Dr. Handel. Ko kana tikaregera kutonga zvachose uye togashira kuomarara kwemunhu?
Hilary Handel anopa kurovedza muviri zvishoma. Chaunoda kuita kuzvibvunza mibvunzo mishoma.
Kuzvishora
- Unofunga kuti chii chisina kunaka pauri? Chii chauri kuvanzira vamwe? Tsvaga zvakadzama uye nekuvimbika.
- Unofunga kuti chii chichaitika kana mumwe munhu akaziva nezveunhu uhu kana hunhu hwako?
- Kutenda uku wakazviwanepi? Zvakabva pane zvakaitika kare here?
- Waizofungei kudai waiziva kuti mumwe munhu ane chakavanzika chakafanana?
- Pane imwe nzira, inonzwisisika here yaungaburitsa zvakavanzika zvako?
- Zvakaita sei kuzvibvunza mibvunzo iyi?
Kushora vamwe
- Iwe unotongei mune vamwe?
- Sei muchizvipa mhosva?
- Dai wanga usiri kutonga vamwe nenzira iyi, waizosangana nemanzwiro api? Nyora zvese zvinouya mupfungwa: kutya, mhosva, kusuwa, hasha, kana mamwe manzwiro.
- Kufunga nezvazvo kwakadii?
Zvichida mhinduro dzemibvunzo iyi dzichakubatsira kunzwisisa manzwiro aunoita pamusoro pako kana vamwe. Kana tikasagamuchira zvimwe zvinhu zvounhu hwedu, izvi zvinokanganisa ukama hwedu nevamwe. Nokudaro, dzimwe nguva zvakakosha kubvunza izwi remutsoropodzi wemukati uye kuzviyeuchidza kuti isu, sevanhu vose vakatipoteredza, tiri vanhu chete, uye munhu wose akasiyana nenzira yake.
Nezve Munyori: Hilary Jacobs Handel i psychoanalyst uye munyori we Kwete Zvakafanira Kuora mwoyo. Iyo katatu yekuchinja inokubatsira sei kunzwa muviri wako, kuvhura manzwiro ako, uye kubatana zvakare nechako chaicho.