Kuchengeta hukama kunoreva kugadzirisa matambudziko anotyisidzira kuchengetedzwa kwavo uye kugara kwavo uye kugadzirira kutsigira mumwe wako chero nguva. Izvi zviri nyore kuita, kusvika shungu dzadzikira. Murapi wemhuri Steven Stosny anotsanangura nzira yokuramba wakazvipira kune mumwe nomumwe pashure peizvi.
Hukama hwevadiwa hunotumbuka kana shungu dzapera. Nenzira imwecheteyo, nhanho yekutarisira nekuzvipira muhukama inouya kutsiva hukama hwepedyo husina simba. Kuzivikanwa kweumwe neumwe, chido chekugovana (ruzivo, kufungidzira), kubvumirana - zvose zvinoratidzira danho rekutanga rekubatana kwevanoda - hazvigoni kugara nekusingaperi. Pane imwe nguva, dambudziko iri rinogadziriswa.
Wakambonzwa nyaya dzemumwe wako, wanzwa kurwadziwa, uye wakagovana mufaro wawakasangana nawo nemumwe wako munguva yakapfuura. Kubvumirana kugoverana marwadzo uye mufaro mune ramangwana yatova nyaya yezvisungo zvakafanana, kuzvipira. Kuzvipira kunofungidzira kuti kune hukama hwakajeka pakati pevakaroorana, hwakafanana nehupenyu husingaoneki, iyo ichaita inshuwarisi kana pane chimwe chinhu, asi haipindiri nekuzvimiririra kwega kwega. Kana zvichidikanwa, unogona kuchengetedza kubatana uku uri kure, kutsungirira kuparadzana kwenguva refu. Makabatana nyangwe mukapokana, kunyangwe mukanetsana.
Kubatana uye kuzviparadzanisa nevamwe
Vanhu vanokoshesa kuvanzika kwavo zvakanyanya vanogona kuona kubatana kwakadaro sekutyisidzira. Munhu wose ane miganhu yake pachake nzvimbo. Ivo vanotemerwa nehunhu, ruzivo rwekutanga kubatanidzwa, nhamba yenhengo dzemhuri, uye hunyanzvi hwekutarisira manzwiro.
An introvert angangoda imwe nzvimbo yekuvanzika. Nekuda kwekunakidzwa kwakasimba kwecerebral cortex, introverts inodzivirira iyo yakanyanya kukurudzira. Vanofanira kunge vari vega kwenguva pfupi kuti vadzoke, "kuchajazve mabhatiri avo." Extroverts, pane zvinopesana, vari kutsvaga zvimwe zvekunze zvinokurudzira kukurudzira uropi. Naizvozvo, zvakaoma kuti vagare vasina ukama kwenguva refu, kuzviparadzanisa nevamwe kunovaodza mwoyo, uye kushamwaridzana kunovaka muviri.
Kudiwa kwekuvanzika kunoenderana nekuti vangani vanogara mumba.
Kupokana uku pakati pemunhu anoona hupenyu hwepachivande, hwakavanzika sechikomborero, uye anotsanangura kusurukirwa sechituko, zvinokanganisa hukama hwavo, uye kungonzwirana tsitsi nekunzwisisana chete kunogona kubvisa kusawirirana.
Kudiwa kwekuvanzika kunoenderana nekuti vangani vanogara mumba. Naizvozvo, pakukurukura miitiro yokugara pamwe chete, varoorani vanofanira kurangarira nhamba yemitezo yemhuri yavo yazvino, uye mukuwedzera, nhamba yavana mumisha yavakakurira.
Proximity regulation
Kugadzirisa chiyero chehukama muhukama huripo hakusi nyore. Mushure mekutanga, chikamu cherudo chapera, vadyidzani havawanzokwanisa kubvumirana padyo kana kureba kwavanofanira kunge vari.
Kune mumwe nemumwe wedu, dhigirii inodiwa yehukama hwepedyo:
- inosiyana zvakanyanya kubva pavhiki nevhiki, kubva zuva nezuva, kunyangwe panguva yega yega panguva,
- inogona kunge iri cyclical
- zvinoenderana nehuwandu hwekunetsekana: zvinonyanya kukosha kuti vamwe vanzwe kuswedera kwemumwe wako mumamiriro ezvinhu anonetsa, asi vamwe, pane zvinopesana, vanoda kutama kwechinguva.
Kugona kwedu kubata chinhambwe kunoratidza kubudirira kwatinoita pakuvaka hukama.
Kuzvipira kuukama kunoreva kuti vakaroorana vanokurukura pachena zvavanoda nezvavanoda.
Nehurombo, matatu anotevera asina kunaka masitaera ekutonga akajairika:
- Kushandisa hasha semutongi: mitsara yakaita sekuti "ndisiye ndoga!" kana mumwe wevadiwa achitsvaga chikonzero chekupopotedzana uye kuwana mukana wekubvisa mupfungwa kwechinguva.
- Kupomera mumwe wako kupembedza kudiwa kwechinhambwe: "Unosundidzira nguva dzese!" kana kuti "Unofinha."
- Dudziro yekuedza kugadzirisa chinhambwe muhukama sekuramba uye kurambwa.
Kuzvipira kuukama kunoda kuti vadyidzani: chokutanga, vazive uye varemekedze zvido zvakasiyana zveumwe neumwe zvezvese zviri zviviri kuva pedyo nekuvanzika (hapana chinhu chisiri pamutemo mukukumbira chimwe kana chimwe), uye chechipiri, kurukurai pachena zvavanoda nezvavanoda.
Vakaroorana vanofanira kudzidza kutaura kune mumwe nomumwe: "Ndinokuda, ndinokuda chaizvo, ndinonzwa zvakanaka newe, asi panguva ino ndinoda kuva ndoga kwekanguva. Ndinovimba kuti harizove dambudziko kwauri. " "Ndinoremekedza kudiwa kwako kwenzvimbo yako, asi panguva ino ndinoda chaizvo kunzwa ndakabatana newe, ndinoda kuva pedyo kwako nerutsigiro. Ndinovimba kuti harizove dambudziko kwauri. "
Kusangana kunzwisisa, kunzwira tsitsi uye panguva imwechete kutsungirira, mudiwa wacho angangodaro anoda kuita chinhu chakanakisisa kune waunoda. Iyi ndiyo nzira iyo kuvimbika kunoratidzwa muhukama.
Nezvemunyori: Steven Stosny inyanzvi yepfungwa, chiremba wemhuri, purofesa paYunivhesiti yeMaryland (USA), uye munyori wemabhuku akati wandei, kusanganisira munyori pamwe (naPatricia Rudo) weHuchi, Tinoda Kutaura Nezvehukama Hwedu… Sei Kuzviita Pasina Kurwa (Sofia, 2008).