Mukati
Nepo kune kutaura kwe“chiitiko chitsva” munzanga, vanyajambwa vanotevera vari kutambura kune imwe nzvimbo. Tinonzwisisa chikonzero nei mumakore achangobva kupfuura kwave kune vabati zvisina kufanira vakawanda kwazvo, kwavakanga vari kare, uye nei vamwe vachiri kupwiswa kuti uyo akatambura ane mhaka nokuda kweratidzirwo dzokubatwa zvisina kufanira.
Izwi rekuti "kushungurudzwa" riri kuramba richionekwa pamapeji ezvinyorwa uye zvinyorwa zvepamhepo. Asi kuti chii uye nei hukama hwekushungurudza hune ngozi hausati hwanzwisiswa nemunhu wese. Vamwe vanototaura kuti ichi hachisi chimwe chinhu kunze kwekushambadzira (mabhuku ane izwi rekuti "kushungurudzwa" mumusoro anotyora marekodhi ese ekutengesa, uye makosi epamhepo evanoshungurudzwa anodzokororwa nemamiriyoni ekutanga).
Asi kutaura zvazviri, izwi idzva rakapa zita raro kune yekare uye yakadzika midzi chiitiko munharaunda yedu.
Chii chinonzi abusive relationship
Ukama hunoshungurudza ndehuya umo munhu mumwe anotyora miganhu yemumwe munhu, anonyadzisa, anobvumira hutsinye mukukurukurirana uye zviito kuitira kudzvinyirira kuda kweanobatwa. Kazhinji hukama hwekushungurudzana - mune vakaroorana, pakati pehama, vabereki nevana, kana mukuru webasa uye ari pasi - hunokura. Kutanga, uku kutyora kwemiganhu uye zvishoma, sekunge nemukana, kudzvinyirirwa kwechido, ipapo kuzviparadzanisa nevamwe uye nemari. Kutuka uye kuratidzwa kwehutsinye ipfungwa dzakanyanyisa dzehukama hwekushungurudza.
Kushungurudzwa mumabhaisikopo nemabhuku
"Asi zvakadini nerudo rwekupenga, saRomeo naJuliet?" - unobvunza. Uhwu zvakare hukama hwekushungurudza. Uye chero dzimwe nyaya dzerudo dzinobva kune imwechete opera. Kana akamuwana, uye iye achimuramba, obva akundwa nekumanikidzwa kwake, obva azvikanda padombo, nokuti mudiwa wake afa kana kuti akaenda kune mumwe, izvi hazvisi zverudo. Zviri pamusoro codependency. Pasina iyo, pangadai pasina chinyorwa chinonakidza kana firimu risingakanganwike.
Indasitiri yemafirimu yakaita kushungurudzwa kwerudo. Uye ichi ndicho chimwe chezvikonzero nei hukama husina hutano hunoratidzika kwatiri chaizvo izvo zvatanga tichitsvaga hupenyu hwedu hwese.
Nyaya dzakaita saJuliet, John naElizabeth kubva ku9 ½ Vhiki, Daenerys naKhala Drogo kubva kuMutambo weZvigaro zvoumambo, zvichiitika kuvanhu chaivo, vanonetsekana nenyanzvi dzepfungwa. Sosaiti, pane kudaro, inovafarira, vachivawana vachidanana, vachivaraidza uye kunyange kudzidzisa.
Kana hukama hweumwe munhu hukakura zvakanaka, hwakavakirwa pahukama hwakaenzana uye kuvimbana, kune vazhinji zvinoita sekufinha kana kutofungira. Iko hakuna mutambo wekunzwira tsitsi, butterflies mudumbu, gungwa remisodzi, mukadzi haarwe muhudyu, murume haauraye muvengi mu duel - mhirizhonga ...
Kana hukama hwako huri kukura sebhaisikopo, isu tingangove tine nhau dzakaipa kwauri.
"Kushungurudzwa ifashoni"
Kune mifungo mizhinji pamusoro pekuti sei hukama hwekushungurudzana huchierekana hwavepo. Kazhinji ivo vanopikisa diametrically. Senguva dzose, chokwadi chiri pane imwe nzvimbo pakati.
Kazhinji kazhinji iwe unogona kunzwa pfungwa yekuti vanhu vemazuva ano vanyanya kupfaviswa - venyama uye vasina njodzi. Chero mamiriro ezvinhu asina kujairika anogona kukonzera kushungurudzika, uye kunyange kuzviuraya. “Kana vakaedza kutaura nezveimwe mhando yekushungurudzwa muHondo Yenyika Yekutanga kana Yechipiri kana munguva yaStalin. Uye kazhinji, nemafungiro akafanana neaya evechiduku vemazuva ano, hapana hondo inogona kukundwa.
Hazvinei kuti uyu murangariro unganzwika wakakasha sei, pane chimwe chokwadi mauri. Muzana ramakore rechiXNUMX, kunyanya pakutanga nepakati, vanhu vaive "vatete-ganda". Hongu, vakanzwa kurwadziwa - mumuviri uye mupfungwa, vane ruzivo, kurasikirwa nevadiwa, vakawira murudo uye vakagumbuka, kana manzwiro acho akanga asina kufanana, asi kwete sekuwedzera sechizvarwa chemazuva ano. Uye pane tsananguro ine musoro yeizvi.
Panguva iyoyo, vanhu vakapona chaizvo - Hondo Yenyika Yekutanga, chimurenga cha1917, nzara ya1932-1933, Hondo Yenyika Yechipiri, kuparara kwepashure pehondo uye nzara. Nyika yakawedzera kana zvishoma kubva kune zviitiko izvi chete nekutonga kweKhrushchev. Kudai vanhu vepanguva iyoyo vakanga vakaoma mwoyo sezvatinoita, vangadai vasina kupukunyuka zvinhu zvose izvozvo zvinotyisa.
Munhu mukuru anoshinha mwana akashungurudzika
Mamiriro emazuva ano ekuvapo haana utsinye uye akaoma, izvo zvinoreva kuti manzwiro evanhu anogona kukura. Izvi zvakaita kuti vanhu vatange kuzvarwa vaine psyche yakaoma. Kwavari, mamiriro akangoita kure akafanana neakaitika pakutanga uye pakati pezana ramakore rechiXNUMX injodzi chaiyo.
Kuwedzera, nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzinosangana nevanhu vane "kusada" kwakadzama muhuduku pamisangano. Kunyange zvazvo, zvingaratidzika, amai vemazuva ano vane nguva yakawanda nesimba kumwana kupfuura amai vepakati pakati pezana remakore rapfuura.
Vana ava vanokura kuva vanhu vakuru vakakuvara, uye kazhinji vanoshungurudza. Zviitiko zvemunguva yakapfuura zvinovakurudzira kugamuchira rudo mune dzimwe nzira, dzisiri dzemhoteredzo, kana kuti kuva vanyajambwa vasingazivi nzira yokubuda nayo muukama hwakashata. Vanhu vakadaro vanosangana newavakaroorana naye, vanobatanidzwa naye nemwoyo yavo yose uye vanotanga kuva negodo, kudzora, kuderedza kukurukurirana, kuparadza kuzviremekedza, uye kushandisa dzvinyiriro.
Mabviro ekushungurudzwa zviri pamutemo
Asi kushungurudzwa kwagara kuripo uye hakugone kupera muhupenyu hwedu. Pakarepo pakanga pasina nyanzvi dzaizoshinga kusimudza musoro uyu. Uye ichi ndicho chimiro chepasi rose.
Hukama hwehukama husina kunaka huri kwese kwese. Vatungamiriri mukushungurudzwa pakati pemurume nemukadzi inyika dzekuMiddle East, uko vachiri kurera vana mukati memaitiro echinyakare uye zvibvumirano, vanoisa pfungwa dzisina kunaka nezvewanano nekodzero mairi mumisoro yavo.
Mutsika yeRussia, kushungurudzwa zvakare chikamu chakakosha chehupenyu. Ingoyeuka «Domostroy», apo mukadzi ari muranda wemurume wake, anoteerera, anozviisa pasi uye akanyarara. Asi kusvika zvino, vakawanda vanotenda kuti hukama hweDomostroevsky hwakarurama. Uye kune nyanzvi dzinoparidzira kuvanhu uye kuwana mhinduro huru kubva kune vateereri (uye, zvinoshamisa, kubva kuvakadzi).
Ngatidzokere kunyaya yedu. Chikamu chechipiri chezana remakore rechiXNUMX. Nhamba huru yevarwi haina kudzoka kubva kuhondo, mumaguta nemisha mune kushomeka kwevarume. Vakadzi vakagamuchira chero munhu - vose vakaremara, uye vanonwa, uye avo vane psyche yakatambura.
Murume aive mumba aive vimbiso yekupona munguva dzakaoma. Kazhinji aigara mumhuri mbiri kana kunyange nhatu, uye pachena
Muitiro uyu wakanga wakapararira zvikuru mumaruwa. Vakadzi vaida vana nemhuri zvikuru zvokuti vakatobvumirana nemamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, nokuti paingova nezvisarudzo zviviri: “nenzira iyi kana kuti kwete.”
Kuiswa kwakawanda kwemazuva ano kwakadzika midzi ipapo - kubva kuna mbuya vedu uye vanambuya. Izvo zvairatidzika kuva zvakajairika munguva yekushomeka kukuru kwevarume hazvigamuchiriki nhasi, asi vamwe vakadzi vanoramba vachirarama seizvi. Mushure mezvose, mbuya vangu vakatsiurawo kuti: “haa, ngaarove dzimwe nguva, asi haanwe doro uye anounza mari mumba. Zvisinei, usakanganwe kuti mubhinya haana kusungirirwa kumurume - mukadzi anogonawo kuita semushungurudzi mumhuri.
Nhasi tine zvese zvekushandisa kuti tirarame hupenyu hunoenderana uye hunofadza. Nyika iri kupedzisira ichitaura nezve codependencies, hutsinye uye vakabatwa. Chero zvaunenge uri, haufaniri kurarama nenzira yamarudzi manomwe asati ararama. Iwe unogona kubuda muzvinyorwa zvinozivikanwa munharaunda nemadzitateguru uye kurarama mukuremekedza nekugamuchirwa.