Zvinoita here kuwana mufaro nemufarwa panguva yekuchema kukuru? Nzira yekupona sei kukakavara kusinganyangarike nekuenda kwevanoda, vachiramba vachitivhiringidza uye kunzwa tine mhosva? Uye kuti ungadzidza sei kurarama nekuyeuka kwevakaenda - vepfungwa vanoti.
“Muimba yokudyira yehofisi, ndakanzwa kurukurirano youpenzi pakati pevakadzi vaviri vakanga vagere pedyo. Kwakanga kuri kusetsa chaiko uko ini naamai vangu taifarira zvikuru. Amai vakaita sevaive vakatarisana neni tichibva tatanga kuseka zvisingaite. Alexandra ane makore 37, makore mashanu apfuura amai vake vakafa kamwe kamwe. Kwemakore maviri, kushungurudzika, "kupinza serumborera," hakuna kumubvumira kurarama hupenyu hwakajairika. Pakupedzisira, pashure pemwedzi yakawanda, misodzi yakaguma, uye kunyange zvazvo kutambura kusina kupera, kwakachinjwa kuva kunzwa kwokuvapo kwokunze kwomudiwa. «Ini ndinonzwa kuti ari padivi pangu, akadzikama uye anofara, kuti isu zvakare tine zvinhu zvakafanana uye zvakavanzika., izvo zvakagara uye zvisina kunyangarika nerufu rwake. Alexandra anodaro. Zvakaoma kunzwisisa nekutsanangura. Mukoma wangu anoona izvi zvese zvinoshamisa. Kunyange zvazvo asingatauri kuti ndinopenga kana kuti ndinopenga, anonyatsofunga kudaro. Ikozvino hapana wandinoudza nezvazvo."
Hazvisi nyore kugara tichionana nevafi mutsika dzedu, pazvinoda kuti munhu akunde nhamo nekukasira uye atarise nyika zvakare netarisiro kuti arege kuvhiringa vamwe. “Hatichakwanisa kunzwisisa vakafa, kuvapo kwavo, anonyora kudaro ethnopsychologist Tobie Nathan. “Kungobatana chete kwatingakwanisa kuita nevakafa kunzwa kuti vachiri vapenyu. Asi vamwe vanowanzoona izvi sechiratidzo chekutsamira mupfungwa uye kuva mucheche.1.
Nzira refu yekugamuchirwa
Kana tikakwanisa kubatana nemudiwa, basa rekuchema rinoitwa. Munhu wese anozviita nenhanho yake. “Kwemavhiki, mwedzi, makore, munhu anochema achanetseka nokunzwa kwake kwose,” anotsanangura kudaro chiremba wepfungwa Nadine Beauthéac.2. - Munhu wese anosangana nenguva iyi zvakasiyana.: kune vamwe, kushungurudzika hakuregi, kune vamwe kunoumburuka nguva nenguva - asi kune wese anopera nekudzoka kuhupenyu.
"Kusavapo kwekunze kunotsiviwa nekuvapo kwemukati"
Hazvisi zvekugamuchira kurasikirwa - mumutemo, hazvibviri kubvumirana nekurasikirwa kwemudiwa - asi pamusoro pekugamuchira zvakaitika, kuzviziva, kudzidza kurarama nazvo. Kubva mukufamba kwemukati uku, mafungiro matsva kurufu ... uye kuhupenyu anozvarwa. "Kusavapo kwekunze kunotsiviwa nekuvapo kwemukati," anoenderera mberi Nadine Boteac. "Uye kwete nekuti mufi anotikwezva, kuti kuchema hakugoneke kurarama, kana kuti pane chakaipa nesu."
Hapana mitemo yakajairika pano. “Munhu wese anobata nekutambura kwake nepaanogona napo. Zvakakosha kuzviteerera, uye kwete ku "zano rakanaka," anoyambira Nadine Boteak. - Pashure pezvose, vanoti kune vanochema: usachengeta zvose zvinokuyeuchidza nezvemushakabvu; usazotaurazve nezvake; nguva yakawanda kwazvo yapfuura; hupenyu hunoenderera… Idzi ipfungwa dzenhema dzepfungwa dzinomutsa kutambura kutsva uye dzinowedzera manzwiro ekuzvipa mhosva uye hasha.
Hukama Husina Kukwana
Chimwe chokwadi: kukakavara, manzwiro anopesana atinosangana nawo muhukama nemunhu, usaende naye. “Idzo dzinogara mumweya yedu uye dzinobatira samanyuko enhamo,” anotsinhira kudaro nyanzvi yendangariro nenyanzvi yendangariro Marie-Frédérique Bacqué. Vachiri kuyaruka vanopandukira vanofirwa nomumwe wevabereki vavo, vakaroorana vakarambana, mumwe wavo anofa, munhu mukuru uyo, kubva pauduku hwake, akachengeta ukama hune utsinye nehanzvadzi yake, iyo yakafa . . .
"Sekubatana nevanhu vapenyu: hukama huchave hwechokwadi, hwakanaka uye hwakadzikama kana tanzwisisa uye nekugamuchira zvakanaka uye zvakaipira zvevakaenda"
Nzira yekupona sei kuwedzera kwemanzwiro anopokana uye kwete kutanga kuzvipa mhosva? Asi manzwiro aya dzimwe nguva anouya. "Dzimwe nguva pasi pechifukidziro chezviroto zvinounza mibvunzo yakaoma," anotsanangura kudaro nyanzvi yepfungwa. — Mafungiro asina kunaka kana kupokana kune mufi anogonawo kuzviratidza nenzira yehurwere husinganzwisisike kana kusuwa kukuru. Asingakwanisi kuziva manyuko okutambura kwavo, munhu anogona kazhinji kazhinji kutsvaka betsero pasina chimuko. Uye semugumisiro we psychotherapy kana psychoanalysis, zvinova pachena kuti unoda kushanda pahukama nemufi, uye kune mutengi izvi zvinoshandura zvose.
Simba rinokosha
Kubatana nevakafa kune zvinhu zvakafanana nekubatana nevapenyu.: hukama huchave hwechokwadi, hwakanaka uye hwakadzikama patinonzwisisa uye kubvuma kunaka uye kuipa kwevakaenda uye kufunga patsva manzwiro edu kwavari. “Ichi ndicho chibereko chebasa rakapedzwa rokuchema: tinohwirudzurazve zvinhu zvoukama nomufi ndokusvika kumhedziso yokuti takachengeta chimwe chinhu mundangariro yake icho chakabvumira kana kuti chichiri kutibvumira kuzviumba timene,” anodaro Marie. -Frédéric Baquet.
Hunhu, hunhu, dzimwe nguva mienzaniso inopesana - zvese izvi zvinogadzira simba rakakosha rinopfuudzwa kubva kuchizvarwa kuenda kune chimwe chizvarwa. “Kutendeseka uye mudzimu wokurwa wababa vangu unoramba uri mandiri, semotokari inokosha,” anopupurira kudaro Philip, ane makore 45 okukura. “Rufu rwake makore matanhatu apfuura rwakandiremadza chose. Hupenyu hwadzoka pandakatanga kunzwa kuti mudzimu wake, maitiro ake anoratidzwa mandiri.
1 T. Nathan "The new dudziro yezviroto"), Odile Jacob, 2011.
2 N.Beauthéac «Mazana mhinduro dzemibvunzo pamusoro pekuchema uye kushungurudzika» (Albin Michel, 2010).