Maitiro ekutaura nemunhu anoda kukupfuura mune zvese, uye kwete kupenga

Shamwari. Shamwari. Hama. Muvakidzani pakumhara. Hazvina mhosva kuti munhu uyu ndiani, zvakakosha maitiro aanoita: zvisinei kuti unotaura nezvei, iye anobva aita nyaya yake - "inotonyanya kunakidza." Chero zvaunoita, anozviita zviri nani. Chero zvaakawana, akawana zvakawanda.

Wawana basa here? Chinzvimbo chako chitsva hachisi chinhu kana zvichienzaniswa nezvipo zvaanogamuchira zuva nezuva kubva kune vakasiyana-siyana vashandirwi vakagadzirira kumubvarura nemaoko avo. Wachinja motokari yako here? Zvakanaka, haaenderani nemota yake itsva. Kuenda kuzororo kuAmalfi? Akanga aripo nemhuri yake makore mashanu apfuura. Maiwe, kubva ipapo nzvimbo ino yava super-tourist uye "pop". Asi kana uchida, anokutumira runyoro rwekurudziro yake. Anoitumira kumunhu wese - uye munhu wese anofara chaizvo.

“Vanhu vakadaro vanoratidzika kuva vanotya nguva dzose kuti uchavakunda nebudiriro yako,” inotsanangura kudaro nyanzvi yendangariro nomunyori we“Depression Perfectly Disguised” Margaret Rutherford, “uye vanoita chinhu chiri chose kuti vakubate uyewo nenzira yakati kuti vakatanhamara. Panguva imwe cheteyo, kazhinji havazivi kuti vanotsamwisa sei vamwe nomufambiro wakadaro.

Vatengi vaRutherford vanogara vachinyunyuta kwaari pamusoro pevanodada vakadaro, uye iye amene anowanzosangana navo. “Ndinoda nzendo refu, uye imwe hama yangu inogara ichiti anofamba seni, kana kupfuura, kunyange zvazvo mhuri yose ichinyatsoziva kuti haaburuki mumotokari zvachose.” Pane zvikonzero zvakasiyana zvechido ichi chekuva wekutanga mune zvese. “Dzimwe nguva makwikwi, dzimwe nguva kuzvitarisira pasi seri kwechifukidziro chehasha, dzimwe nguva kusakwanisa kushamwaridzana zvakanaka,” anotsanangura kudaro Rutgerford.

Chero zvipi zvinangwa zvemaitiro evanhu vakadaro, hazvisi nyore kwatiri, isu tinozviwana tiri munharaunda yavo. Zvisinei, zvinoitika kuti tinozvibata nenzira yakafanana. Kunzwisisa izvi chinhu chekutanga: kana tikakanganisa imwe pakati pemutsara kana kushandisa nyaya yatichangonzwa sechikonzero chekutaura chimwe chinhu chedu, chinonakidza, saka, sekutonga, tinoona kuti kumbomira kusinganzwisisike kunorembera, uye izvo. vakatitenderedza vasinganyatso pindurudza maziso avo. Vazhinji vedu tinobva taita hungwaru hwakakwana kuti tidzokere kunyaya yeanopindira.

Asi avo vanoedza kukunda vamwe muzvinhu zvose vanoita zvakasiyana. Ivo havatongozivi kurava zvikarakadzo zvakadaro, Amanda Daverich, nyanzvi yenhau dzemhuri neroorano, ane chokwadi chokuti: “Vazhinjisa vaava vanhu havatongozivi zvavanenge vachiita. Vanonakidzwa nemoyo wese nyaya yavo, vanotenda kuti iyi nyaya inovaita kuti vaswedere kune vanopindirana, uye naively vanotenda kuti vamwe vanovada.

Mhedziso idzi dzinosimbiswa nemhedzisiro yetsvagurudzo yesainzi. Saka, muna 2015, nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzakaona kuti vanozvikudza vanofungidzira kuti vateereri vanovayemura sei, uye havatarisi kuti vanogumbura munhu wose zvakadini. Uyezve, havanzwisisi kuti nyaya yavo ichaita sei pane vaya vakavapoteredza. “Kana ndikaudza vandinoshanda navo kusiya kwandakaita basa ndikafamba kwegore rose, vachanzwisisa kuti zvinofadza uye zvinofadza sei. Pamwe ndichavakurudzira kuti vaite zvimwe chetezvo,” anodaro murume anozvikudza. “Zvakanaka, chokwadi vabereki vake vakabhadhara zvose izvi,” sezvingabvira zvikuru, vamwe vaanoshanda navo vanogunun’una kwavari vamene.

“Chokwadi, pangava nevavariro yemakwikwi seri kweiyi mufambiro,” anobvuma kudaro Davrich. - Asi vazhinji vanonzwisisa kuti izvi zvachose "zvisingaiti zvemitambo", hazvina maturo uye pakupedzisira zvinongodzinga interlocutor. Uye zvechokwadi hazvibatsire kukwira kumusoro kwesocial hierarchy.

Saka unoita sei nevanhu vakadai?

1. Zvigadzirire iwe pachako kuti utaure nemunhu anozvikudza

Pane zvinhu zvaungofanire kubvuma sezvisingadzivisiki. Semuenzaniso, kudiwa kwekubvisa tsinga yemeno - kana kutaurirana nemunhu anogara uye mune zvose anoedza kukupfuura. Kana uchifanira kugara uchitarisana naye, usamurerutsa unhu uhwu. Kana kuti kutoedza kumuseka nomutsa: “Ndinoshamisika kuti kangani manheru asingandibvumiri kupedza? Kekupedzisira akataura nyaya dzake katatu. "

“Kana ukatarisira hunhu kubva kune anobhowa, zvichava nyore kumugamuchira,” Rutherford anotsinhira kudaro. - Kana iwe uchizotaura nezve kukwidziridzwa kwakamirirwa kwenguva refu panguva yemusangano neshamwari, gadzirira nekuti iyo bouncer ichave neyake nyaya kubva muhupenyu pane iyi nyaya. Anongoda kuisa masendi ake maviri, uye hazvina basa kuti zvaari kutaura ichokwadi here kana kuti kwete. Zvatakamirira hazvitikuvadze zvakanyanya.

2. Edza kumunzwira tsitsi, nokuti haazivi zvaari kuita

Zvino iwe unoziva kuti murombo uyu haagone kuverenga masaini emagariro uye mamiriro evamwe, izvo zvinoreva kuti munhu anogona kungomunzwira tsitsi. Pamwe panguva ino uchadaro.

“Kusatsamwiswa nevanhu vakadaro kunogona kuva kwakaoma, asi chimboedza,” anopa zano kudaro chiremba wepfungwa Jessica Baum. "Iva nemoyo murefu uye zviyeuchidze kuti zvichida mumwe munhu anongova nekuzviremekedza kwakaderera, kana kuti pamwe anonzwa kunze kwechimiro chake, saka anoita zvinoshamisa."

3. Dada nezvawakwanisa kuita

Kuzviremekedza kunogona kuita kuti urege kukanganiswa nevanhu vakadai, Deveritch anodaro. Uye usaedze kukwikwidzana navo, kutambisa nguva. Pamusoro pezvo, havambofi vakabvuma, nechikonzero chipi, kuti wawana zvakawanda. Zvinangwa, zvirongwa, zviroto ndezvimwe, saka zvakakodzera kuenzanisa?

4. Edza kutaura nezvekunzwa kwako

Kazhinji, kushivirira uye kunzwira urombo kuchakubatsira kugamuchira mamiriro acho ezvinhu, asi kugara pamwe chete nomunhu anozvikudza kunogona kuva kwakaoma chaizvo. “Kana ukama nomunhu akadaro uchikosha kwauri, edza kutaura naye. Somuenzaniso, taura kuti zvinokosha kwauri kuti anyatsokuteerera: izvi zvichakubatsira kuti unzwe kuti ane hanya newe.

Taura chete nezve kuda kwako kunzwikwa, usingarerekeri pakupomerwa sekuti "hauna kumbondirega ndipedze." Udza mubhaunzi kuti ikoku kuchamuita mutauriri mukuru sei, uye ipapo nguva inotevera iye achakwanisa kudada kudzimwe shamwari, kuti: “Vakandiudza pano kuti handigoni kuteerera sokusava nomumwe munhu! ..”