Mukati
Kazhinji kazhinji, zvikanganiso zvomunguva yakapfuura, kutsoropodza kwevabereki, kukuvadzwa kwouduku kunotiita kuti tifunge kuti tiri vanhu vakaipa. Asi zvinokwanisika here kufungisisa zvakare chiitiko chako? Inzwa kunaka mukati? Kuziva kuti isu tiri vanhu vakanaka here? Tinokoka munhu wese kuti atarise mukati mavo uye aone chiedza chinogona kushandura nyika.
Kuvanhu vazhinji, zvichida chinhu chakaoma zvikuru kutenda mukukosha kwako umene. Kuti "Ndiri munhu akanaka." “Tinogona kukunda nhoro dzepamusoro, kushanda nesimba, kuwana unyanzvi uye kuzvibata zvakanaka, asi tinganyatsonzwa, mukati-kati memwoyo, kuti takanaka here? Sezvineiwo kwete!» anonyora neuroscientist uye psychologist Rick Hanson.
"Varwi Vakaipa"
Tinopedzisira tava kunzwa zvakaipa munzira dzakawanda. Somuenzaniso, Rick Hanson anoyeuka mumwe musikana muduku akarovedzana akatsiviwa nenzira inobudirira nokuberekwa kwomunun’una. Amai vacho, vaneta nokuchengeta mwana, vakamudzinga ndokumutsiura. Musikana akatsamwira mukoma wake nevabereki, akasuruvara, akanzwa arasika, asiyiwa uye asingadiwi. Akatarisa katuni umo varwi vamambokadzi akaipa vakarwisa vagari vomumusha vasina mhosva, uye rimwe zuva zvinosuruvarisa kuti: "Amai, ndinonzwa semurwi akaipa."
Muhupenyu hwose, kunyadziswa, tsika dzekupomera, kushorwa kwechitendero, uye mamwe mazwi anotsoropodza zvinogona kutora maitiro uye hukuru hwakawanda. Izvi zvinoderedza kuzviremekedza kwedu uye zvinoita kuti tifunge kuti takaipa. Kusatenda mu "kunaka" kwedu pachedu kunokurudzirwa nemamiriro ezvinhu umo tinonzwa tisina maturo, tisingakwanisi uye tisingadiwi. Baba vaHanson vakaberekerwa mupurazi vakazvidaidza kuti "kunzwa kunge scraper."
Skeletons muwadhiropu
Hanson anonyora kuti vanhu vazhinji, kusanganisira iye, vakaita zvinhu zvakaipa, vaine pfungwa dzakaipa, kana kutaura mashoko akaipa. Mienzaniso inogona kuva yakasiyana - kurova munhu asingadziviriri, kuisa upenyu hwevana vako mungozi nekutyaira zvisina hanya, kureva kubata munhu anotambura, kuba muchitoro, kubiridzira mudiwa, kushora kana kugadza shamwari.
Haufanire kupara mhosva kuti unzwe uine mhosva kana kunyara. Dzimwe nguva kudarika kana kufunga kwakaipa zvakakwana. Hanson anotsanangura kuti: “Kutaura kwokufananidzira, pfungwa ine mativi matatu. Mumwe anoti: “Wakaipa”; mumwe: "Makanaka"; uye yechitatu, iyo yatinozvizivisa nayo timene, inoteerera iyi nharo. Dambudziko nderekuti izwi rekutsoropodza, rinozvidza, rekupomera rinowanzoita ruzha kupfuura rinotsigira, rinokurudzira, uye rinobvuma kukosha kwemunhu. "
“Chokwadi, kuzvidemba kwakanaka uye kuzvidemba nokuda kwokukuvadza vamwe kunokosha,” Hanson anonyora kudaro. "Asi usakanganwa kuti pane imwe nzvimbo pakadzika, kuburikidza nekupokana kwese kwehunhu nezviito, mutsa unopinda wese unopenya mune mumwe nemumwe wedu. Pasina kupembedza ani zvake nokuda kwezviito zvounzenza, ndinogona kutaura nechivimbo: pamidzi yavo, vavariro dzose dzakanaka, kunyange kana dzisina kushandiswa nenzira yakanakisisa. Kana pfungwa dzedu nepfungwa zvisina kufukidzwa nemarwadzo, kurasikirwa, kana kutya, uropi hunodzokera kumamiriro ekutanga epakati, chivimbo, uye tsitsi. Nzira dzinogona kutungamirira mukuzadzikiswa kwerunako rwakavanzwa matiri hadzisi nyore, uye dzimwe nguva dzisinganzwisisiki.
Mumwe nemumwe wedu akanaka
Chokwadi ndechekuti, Hanson anotenda, mumwe nemumwe wedu munhu akanaka. Kana isu tichizviona se "masoja akaipa" kana kuti tisina kukodzera kuremekedzwa uye mufaro, saka tinozvibata zvisina hanya uye noudyire. Ukuwo, kana tangonzwa mutsa wedu womuzvarirwo, tingangotanga kuita zvinhu zvakanaka.
Kuziva ichi chiedza chemukati, tinogona kuchiziva zviri nyore mune vamwe. Kuona mavambo akanaka matiri uye nevamwe, isu tinowanzo edza kuita kuti nyika yedu yakajairika ive yakanaka zvakare. Sei? Rick Hanson anoratidza kuti kune nzira dzakawanda dzekunzwa zvakanaka uye anotsanangura shanu dzadzo.
1. Cherechedza patinenge tichichengetwa
Apo tinoonwa, tichinzwiwa nokunzwiwa, tichiongwa, tichidiwa uye tichikosheswa, zvingatora masekonzi mashomanene bedzi kuti tinakidzwe nechiitiko ichi, kuti tizvigadzirire isu pachedu, kuti chizadze miviri yedu nepfungwa.
2. Onai mutsa mupfungwa dzedu, mumashoko nezviito
Inosanganisirawo vavariro dzakanaka, kudzvinyirirwa kwehasha, kuvharidzirwa kwemanzwiro anoparadza, pfungwa yetsitsi uye kubatsira kune vamwe, kutsungirira uye kutsunga, rudo, ushingi, rupo, mwoyo murefu uye chido chekuona uye kunyange kutaura chokwadi, pasinei nokuti chii. zvingava.
Nekuziva mutsa uyu matiri, tinogona kugadzira nzvimbo inoera mundangariro dzedu uye nekuchengeta mamwe manzwi, mamwe masimba parutivi. Avo vakagadzirira kupinda nechisimba ndokusvibisa nzvimbo tsvene, zvakadai semashoko anonyadzisa nezviito zvavamwe zvatakadzidza.
3. Inzwa kunaka mukati mako
"Kutendeseka kwakakosha uye mutsa zviri mukati memunhu wese, kunyangwe zvakadzika sei zvakavanzwa," anodaro Hanson. Isimba repedyo, risingazivikanwi, zvichida kunyange isimba rinoyera, tsime remwoyo yedu.
4. Ona mutsa une vamwe
Izvi zvichatibatsira kuti tinzwe chiedza chedu chemukati. Zuva rega rega rinogona kupembererwa mune zvimwe zviratidzo zvekururamisira, mutsa uye hukuru. Kunzwa mumunhu wose chido chokuva akanaka uye ane rudo, kubatsira, kubatsira, kwete kukuvadza.
5. Kuita zvakanaka
Rega chiedza chemukati uye hukuru zuva rega rega zvakanyanya uye zvakanyanya kubvisa zvakaipa kubva muhupenyu hwedu. Mumamiriro ezvinhu akaoma kana hukama, zvakakosha kuzvibvunza kuti: "Chii, semunhu akanaka, chandingaite?" Apo tinoita nokungwarira nokuda kwevavariro dzakanaka, kuri nyore kwatiri kuona munhu akanaka matiri timene ndokuzvisimbisa timene mukunzwa uku.
Kuziva kuvapo kwechiedza chemukati kunogona kuva manyuko esimba uye mufaro. “Farikanya izvi zvakanaka zvinoshamisa, zvechokwadi uye zvechokwadi,” anokurudzira kudaro Rick Hanson.