Husband's Emotional Intelligence Ndiyo Kiyi Yewanano Inogara

Boka remasayendisiti kubva kuYunivhesiti yeWashington, rinotungamirirwa naJohn Gottman, rakaita chidzidzo chenguva refu chehukama hwemhuri pamuenzaniso wevakaroorana 130, vachivacherechedza kwemakore matanhatu kubva panguva yekuroorana. Mhedziso: vakaroorana umo varume vanosangana nevakadzi vavo vakasimba.

Fungidzira vakaroorana: Maria naVictor. Mumashoko, Victor anobvuma kuti kuenzana ndicho chinhu chinokosha kumuchato unofadza uye wakareba, asi zviito zvake zvinoratidza zvakasiyana.

Victor:Ini neshamwari dzangu tiri kuenda kunoraura. Tiri kuenda manheru ano.

Maria: Asi shamwari dzangu dziri kuuya kuzondiona mangwana. Wakavimbisa kubatsira kuchenesa. Wakanganwa here? Haukwanise kuenda mangwana mangwanani?

Victor:Wakanganwa kubata hove! Handikwanise kuenda mangwana. Tiri kuenda mumaawa mashoma.

Maria akatsamwa. Anodaidza Victor kuzvida ndokubhururuka achibuda mumba. Victor anonzwa kuora mwoyo, anodurura whiskey uye anobatidza bhora. Maria anodzokera kunotaura, asi Victor haana hanya nezvake. Mary anotanga kuchema. Victor anoti anoda kuenda kugaraji oenda. Kupopotedzana kwakadaro kuzere nekupomerana, saka zvakaoma kuwana chikonzero chikuru. Asi chinhu chimwe chete chakajeka: Victor haadi kubvumirana.

Kusada kubvuma

Muwanano mune zvichemo, kuputika nehasha, kushorana. Asi kana vakaroorana vasingaedzi kugadzirisa kusawirirana, asi kungozvipisa, vachipindurana nezvakaipa kune zvakaipa, muchato uri mungozi. John Gottman anosimbisa: 65% yevarume inongowedzera kukakavara panguva yekukakavadzana.

Kuita kwaVictor kunoratidza kuti haanzwe zvinotaurwa naMaria. Pane kudaro, anotora chimiro chekudzivirira uye anopikisa: angakanganwa sei nezvezvirongwa zvake. Kutsoropodza, maitiro ekudzivirira, kusaremekedza, kusazvidza - zviratidzo zvekuti murume haadi kuita zvibvumirano.

Mafambiro aya anowanikwa kuvarume. Chokwadi, kuti muchato ufare, vose vanofanira kushandira paukama hwacho. Asi vadzimai vazhinji vanozviita. Vangatsamwira varume vavo kana kuti vasingaremekedzi, asi vanobvumira varume vavo kupesvedzera zvisarudzo zvavo, vachifungawo zvinofungwa nevarume vavo. Asi varume havawanzovapindura zvakafanana. Nekuda kweizvozvo, mukana wekurambana muvakaroora kana murume asina kugadzirira kugovana simba nemukadzi wake unokwira kusvika pa81%.

Kusiyana kubva pauduku

Zvose zvinotanga muhuduku. Kana vakomana vachitamba pakati pavo, vanoisa pfungwa dzavo pakukunda, havana basa nezvinoitika zvevamwe vatambi. Kana mumwe akatyoka ibvi rake, vamwe vose havateereri. Chero zvazvingava, mutambo unoenderera mberi.

Kuvasikana, manzwiro ndiwo anonyanya kukosha. Kana mumwe musikana akati: “Handisi shamwari newe,” mutambo wacho unomira. Vasikana vanotangazve mutambo mushure mekunge vagadzira. Mitambo yevasikana inogadzirirwa hupenyu hwemhuri zviri nani pane mitambo yevakomana.

Hongu, kune vakadzi vasinganyatso zivi mumagariro evanhu, uye varume vanonzwa nemanomano zviitiko zvevamwe. Nekudaro, paavhareji, 35% chete yevarume vane zvipo zvehungwaru hwepfungwa.

Migumisiro kumhuri

Varume vasina njere dzepfungwa vanoramba kutera kuvakadzi vavo. Vanotya kupera simba. Somugumisiro, madzimai anorambawo kuonana nevarume vakadaro.

Murume ane EI yakagadziridzwa anofunga manzwiro emudzimai wake nokuti anomuonga uye anomuremekedza. Kana mudzimai wake achida kutaura, anodzima bhora oteerera zvaanotaura. Anosarudza «isu» pane «iye pachake». Anodzidza kunzwisisa nyika yomukati yemudzimai wake, anoyemura uye anoratidza ruremekedzo nekuenda mberi. Kugutsikana kwake kubva kune zvepabonde, hukama uye hupenyu huzhinji huchave hwakanyanya kukwirira kudarika kwemurume ane hutsika hushoma hwepfungwa.

Achavawo baba vakanakisisa, nokuti haatyi manzwiro, achadzidzisa vana kuremekedza manzwiro avo uye evamwe vanhu. Mudzimai achabatanidzwa zvikuru nomurume akadaro. Achatendeukira kwaari paanenge agumbuka, afara zvikuru, kana kuti anzwa kuda zvepabonde.

Magadzirirwo Emurume Wako Emotional Intelligence

Anastasia Menn, nyanzvi yezvepfungwa

Kana murume ane huchenjeri hwakaderera hwepfungwa, kazhinji haacherechedzi mhedzisiro inokuvadza pahukama uye haafungi nezve dambudziko iri. Usamumanikidza. Zviri nani kuita zvakasiyana. Taura nezvemanzwiro ako: "Ndakatsamwa," "Ndinofara," "izvi zvinogona kugumbura."

Cherechedza uye ona manzwiro ake: "wakagumbuka", "wakafara zvikuru apo ...".

Teerera murume wako kune manzwiro evanhu vanobva kwaunogara: "waona here kuti Sonya aifara sei apo ...", "Vasily akasuruvara zvokuti ...".

Usatya kuratidza manzwiro emwoyo wose. Chema kana uchida. Seka. Nenzira iyi murume wako achadzidza kubva kwauri. Manzwiro chikamu chakakosha chehupenyu hwedu. Nehurombo, isu hatiwanzovatarisi zvakafanira kwavari, asi zviri musimba redu kugadzirisa izvi.