Kuonekwa kwekunzwa kunyoro, kukwezva pabonde kusvika pakuvhara, kunyangwe isiri yeropa, hama, mukoma kana hanzvadzi, ichavhiringa chero munhu. Nzira yekugadzirisa sei manzwiro ako? Maonero e psychotherapist Ekaterina Mikhailova.
"Zvichida uri kutsvaga nzvimbo yakachengeteka"
Ekaterina Mikhailova, psychotherapist:
Unonyora kuti iwe nehanzvadzi yako mune vabereki vakasiyana uye hamusi hama dzeropa, asi pamabasa enyu emhuri muchiri mukoma nemunin’ina. Kunzwa kukwezva kwepabonde kunowedzera, iwe unovhiringidzika, unotya uye unonyara kuti uri mumamiriro ezvinhu asinganzwisisiki akadaro. Dai pasina kujekeswa uku — «hanzvadzi», chii chaizokunetsa ipapo?
Asi ndinofunga kuti nyaya iyi yakanyanya kuoma. Ndinoda zvikuru kubvunza mubvunzo uyu panguva yekutarisana nekutarisana: unoita sei hukama nevasingazivi? Nenyika yekunzewo zvayo? Nokuti, kutungamirira kukwezva kana kuwira murudo nemudiwa: muvakidzani, waunodzidza naye, mumwe munhu watinoziva anenge hupenyu, watakakurira pamwe chete, tinotendeuka kubva kunze kwenyika kuenda kune yakajairika, chamber. Izvi zvinowanzoreva kutsvaga nzvimbo yakachengeteka, inoda pekugara.
Mukuwedzera, rudo rwechokwadi runoreva imwe chinhambwe, icho chinokutendera kuti ugone kurongeka chinhu cherudo, kufungidzira nezvazvo. Zvadaro, hongu, gilding inopera, asi ndiwo mumwe mubvunzo.
Mamiriro akatsanangurwa anogona kumiririrwa sezvinotevera. Munhu asinganyatsovimbi nekunze kwenyika, anotya kurambwa kana kusekwa, pane imwe nguva anozvisimbisa: hapana anondifarira ipapo, ndinoda muvakidzani kana musikana wandanga ndigere naye padhesiki. makore gumi. Sei uchinetseka uye zvisingatarisirwi adventures, kana iwe uchigona kuwira murudo seizvi - wakadzikama uye pasina chero zvinoshamisa?
Kusava nechokwadi kwako kunoratidza kuti une mukana wekudzidza chimwe chinhu chitsva pamusoro pako.
Chokwadi, handirambidzi rudo rukuru pakati pevanhu vakakura pamwe chete. Uye kana, nokuda kwezvikonzero zvekuberekwa, hazvina kupikisa kuti vashanduke kuva vakaroorana, ini handioni chikonzero chekudzivisa hukama hwakadaro. Asi mubvunzo mukuru wakasiyana: ichokwadi here sarudzo yako yekuziva, manzwiro ako chaiwo, kana uri kuedza kuvanza kuseri kwehukama uhwu? Asi ungaziva sei pa19 iwe usina kumboedza chimwe chinhu?
Tora kuzorora: usamhanyire kuita, usaite sarudzo nekukasira. Pane mukana mukuru wekuti mushure mechinguva mamiriro acho achazvigadzirisa pachawo. Panguva ino Ndapota edza kupindura iyi mibvunzo mitatu nenzira yakatendeseka:
- Uri kuyedza kutsiva mutambo, kuenda kunze munyika nechimwe chinhu chaunoziva uye chakachengeteka? Pane kutya kurambwa nenyika ino seri kweichi chisarudzo here?
- Chii chinoperekedzwa nezviitiko zvehuhure zvaunosangana nazvo? Iwe unonzwa kunetseka, kunyara, kutya here? Nyaya iyi yekutyora mutemo wehukama hwemukati memhuri, "makunakuna ekufananidzira", yakakosha sei kwauri, uye unoita sei nazvo?
- Isu tose tinogona kunzwa manzwiro akasiyana-siyana, kusanganisira anorambidzwa: kurwisana kumwana mudiki, kufara pamusoro pekuti chimwe chinhu hachina kushanda kuvabereki vedu muupenyu. Handisi kutaura pamusoro pemanzwiro epabonde maererano nechinhu chisina kukodzera zvachose. Kureva kuti tinogona kusangana nechinhu chiri mukati memoyo yedu. Manzwiro edu kazhinji haaenderani nemakuriro edu. Mubvunzo ndewokuti: chii chiri pakati pezvaunosangana nazvo uye maitiro aunoita?
Ndinofunga kusava nechokwadi kwako kunoratidza kuti une mukana wekudzidza chimwe chinhu chitsva pamusoro pako. Kushandura manzwiro kuva zvinhu zvekuzviongorora uye kuongorora zvimwe ndiro basa guru rinoda kuitwa mumamiriro ezvinhu aya. Uye kuti ndeipi sarudzo yaunobva waita haina kunyanya kukosha. Pakupedzisira, sarudzo yose yatinoita ine mutengo wayo.