Kubasa, muhukama, muboka reshamwari, vanhu vakadaro vanoti hutungamiriri uye vanoita zvese kuti vabudirire. Kazhinji kuedza kwavo kunotuswa, asi hapana kubudirira kunoratidzika kuva kwakakwana kwavari. Nei uku kupengereka nemigumisiro?
“Nzanga yanhasi ine chokuita nokuita zvinhu,” anotsanangura kudaro nyanzvi yezvemagariro evanhu yokuFrance Alain Ehrenbert, munyori webhuku rinonzi The Labor of Being Yourself. Kuve nyeredzi, kuwana mukurumbira hakusisiri kurota, asi basa. Chishuvo chekukunda chinova chishuvo chine simba, chinotimanikidza kuti tirambe tichivandudza. Zvisinei, zvinogonawo kukonzera kuora mwoyo. Kana, pasinei nenhamburiko dzedu dzakanakisisa, tichiri tisingabudiriri, tinonyara, uye kuzviremekedza kwedu kunoderera.
Ramba uri mwana akasiyana
Kune vamwe, kupaza kusvika kumusoro uye kuwana tsoka kune nyaya yehupenyu nerufu. Vanhu vanoenda pamusoro pemisoro yavo uye vasingazeze kushandisa nzira dzakasviba kuti vazadzise zvinangwa zvavo vanowanzoda kuyemurwa nevamwe uye havakwanise kuona matambudziko evamwe vanhu. Zvose izvi zvinoratidzira hunhu hwenarcissistic.
Mhando iyi inotoonekwa muhuduku. Mwana akadaro ndiye oga anodiwa nevabereki vake. Chivimbo murudo urwu ndirwo hwaro hwokuzviremekedza kwomwana, uko kuzvivimba kwake kunovakwa.
“Rudo rwevabereki inhaka yatinotakura upenyu hwedu hwose,” anodaro Antonella Montano, chiremba wepfungwa uye mutungamiriri weInstitute. AT Beck muRoma. — Inofanira kunge isina zvimiso. Panguva imwecheteyo, kuwandisa kwerudo kunogona kuva nemigumisiro yakaipa: mwana achatenda kuti munhu wose, pasina kunze, anofanira kumunamata. Achazviona semunhu akangwara, akanaka uye akasimba, nekuti ndizvo zvakataurwa nevabereki vake. Kukura, vanhu vakadaro vanozviona sevakakwana uye vanobatirira kunyengedza uku: kurasikirwa nazvo kunoreva kurasikirwa nezvose.
Kuva anodiwa zvakanyanya
Kune vamwe vana, hazvina kukwana kungodiwa chete, vanoda kudiwa zvakanyanya. Ichi chinodiwa chakaoma kugutsa kana muine vamwe vana mumhuri. Maererano nachiremba wepfungwa wekuFrance Marcel Rufo, munyori webhuku rinonzi Sisters and Brothers. Chirwere cherudo”, godo iri haridzivise munhu. Zvinoratidzika kumwana mukuru kuti rudo rwose rwevabereki runoenda kumuduku. Mudiki anonzwa seanogara achibata vamwe. Vana vepakati havazivi zvokuita zvachose: vanozviwana vari pakati pedangwe, vachivarayira "nekodzero yehukuru", uye mwana, uyo munhu wose ane hanya uye anokoshesa.
Kusakwanisa kuhwina nzvimbo mumoyo yevabereki zvakare, munhu anorwira kunze, munzanga.
Mubvunzo ndewokuti vabereki vachakwanisa "kugovera" rudo nenzira yekuti mumwe nomumwe wevana anonzwa kunaka kwenzvimbo yavo uye nzvimbo mumhuri. Izvi hazvisi nguva dzose zvinogoneka, izvo zvinoreva kuti mwana angave ane manzwiro ekuti nzvimbo yake yakatorwa.
Asingakwanisi kuhwina nzvimbo mumwoyo yevabereki vake zvakare, anoirwira kunze, munzanga. "Nhamo, kazhinji zvinowanzoitika kuti munzira inoenda kune iyi yepamusoro munhu akarasikirwa nezvaanoda, hukama nevadikani, akasiya hutano hwake," Montano anonyunyuta. Iwe haugone sei kutambura neizvi?
Zvokuita
1. Rongedza zvinangwa.
Mukurwira nzvimbo muzuva, zviri nyore kurasikirwa nezvinokosha. Chii chakakosha uye chakakosha kwauri? Chii chinokufambisa? Chii chaunowana nekuita izvi uye kwete neimwe nzira?
Iyi mibvunzo ichabatsira kudhirowa mutsetse pakati pezvinangwa zvinorairwa nechikamu che narcissistic chehunhu hwedu uye zvishuwo zvine hutano.
2. Ita wakachenjera.
Kuita uri pasi pesimba rezvinofungwa uye manzwiro, tsika pane zvakakupoteredza kwenguva pfupi, uchisiya pasina dombo rakatenderedzwa. Saka kuti kuravira kwekukunda kurege kuguma kune chepfu kuvapo, zvinobatsira kuteerera izwi rekufunga kakawanda.
3. Koshesa kukunda.
Isu tinosvika pamusoro, asi isu hatinzwe kugutsikana, nekuti chinangwa chitsva chiri kutouya pamberi pedu. Nzira yekuputsa sei denderedzwa iri rakashata? Chokutanga pane zvose - kuziva kuedza kwakashandiswa. Semuenzaniso, nekudzidza dhayari uye rondedzero yemabasa atapedza kuti tiwane zvataida. Izvo zvakakoshawo kuti uzvipe iwe chipo - isu tinofanirwa nazvo.
4. Bvuma kukundwa.
Edza kusava nemanzwiro. Zvibvunze kuti: “Ungaita zviri nani here?” Kana mhinduro iri hongu, funga nezve chirongwa chekumwe kuedza. Kana zvisina kunaka, rega kukundikana uku uye uzvimisire chinangwa chinokwanisika.
Mazano kune vamwe
Kazhinji mumwe munhu anoshuvira kuva "nhamba yekutanga" anozvitora seakakundikana, "wokutanga kubva kumagumo." Chinhu chakanakisa chaungamuitira ndechekumupwisa kuti akakosha kwatiri maari, zvisinei nebudiriro uye budiriro, uye kuti nzvimbo yaanogara mumoyo yedu hakuna kwainoenda.
Izvo zvakakoshawo zvakanyanya kumuvhiringidza kubva kumakwikwi ekusingaperi uye kumuvhurira zvakare mufaro wezvinhu zviri nyore.