"Zvapera pakati pedu": sei kuti urege kushamwaridzana nevekare

Kurambana kunogara kwakaoma. Uye kunoratidzika kuva kunodokuva kusingabviri kupukunyuka kurasikirwa. Nyanzvi yepfungwa uye mupi zano wenhamo Susan Elliott, pashure pokurambana kunorwadza nomurume wake, akasarudza kubetsera vamwe vanhu kupedza kurambana kwacho. Akave psychotherapist, akatanga podcast nezvehukama, uye akanyora bhuku The Gap, iro rakabudiswa muchiRussia neMIF yekutsikisa imba.

Susan ane chokwadi chekuti kupfupisa hukama kunorwadza, asi kurwadziwa kwako kunogona kushanduka kuve mukana webudiriro. Pakarepo mushure mokurambana, uchaputsika sokunge uri kubvisa kupindwa muropa kwakakomba nezvinodhaka. Asi kana iwe uchida kutanga hupenyu hutsva uye kubvisa hukama huri kukuparadza, unofanira kuzvirwira iwe pachako. Ndizvo chete sei?

Zviparadzanise nehukama hwekare

Kuti unyatso pfuura uye ugamuchire kurambana, unofanirwa kuzviparadzanisa mupfungwa, mumuviri, uye nepfungwa kubva paukama hwako hwekare. Chokwadika, maiwanzopedza nguva yakawanda muri pamwe chete uye, sezvingabvira, makatora rutivi rukurusa rwoupenyu hwomumwe nomumwe. Mese iwe nemumwe wako muchanzwa se "Alexander naMaria" kwenguva yakati, uye kwete Alexander naMaria chete. Uye kwenguva yakati, maitiro ekugara pamwe chete achashanda kunze kweinertia.

Dzimwe nzvimbo, mwaka, zviitiko - zvese izvi zvichiri zvakabatana neyekare. Kuti uparadze kubatana uku, unofanirwa kutsungirira imwe nguva pasina kutaurirana. Kungaratidzika kwauri kuti kurukurirano naye, kanenge kwenguva pfupi, ichabvisa marwadzo ndokuzadza kusava namaturo kunorwadza kwakavapo mukati. Maiwe, hazvideredze chiitiko, asi zvinongononoka zvisingadzivisiki. Vamwe vaimbova vakaroorana vanogona kuzoita shamwari gare gare, asi gare gare izvi zvinoitika, zviri nani.

Ini ndinongoda kuzvinzwisisa

Kutsvaga kubva kwaari kuti chii uye riini chakakanganisika muedzo mukuru. Iwe unogona kunge usina kuona kuti hukama hwacho hwakaparara sei, uye hauna kunzwisisa kuti nei kurwa kwekupedzisira kweupenzi kwakakonzera kuparadzana. Gamuchira chokwadi chekuti iwe unofunga zvakasiyana uye rega munhu aende murugare kuti uwane mumwe munhu ane maonero ehupenyu akafanana neako.

Dzimwe nguva, panzvimbo yekuedza kuita hurukuro yakakwana, vanhu vanoramba vachiita nharo dzechisimba kune mumwe nemumwe, izvo, chaizvoizvo, zvakatungamirira kumagumo ehukama panguva imwe chete. Zviri nani kudzivisa nzira dzakadaro. Kana achida kukanda zvose zvaanotaura pauri (zvinoitika nguva nenguva), gumisa nhaurirano yacho pakarepo. Kana hurukuro dzekufungidzira naye dzichikutambudza, edza kunyora pasi zvose zvaungada kutaura kwaari, asi siya tsamba yacho isina kutumirwa.

Ini ndinongoda bonde

Apo vanhu vaviri vakaparadzana vachangosangana vanosangana, mhepo yakavapoteredza inoratidzika kuva ine magetsi. Mamiriro ezvinhu aya anogona kukanganisika nekukwezva pabonde. Mukuwedzera, iwe unogona kutambura nekusurukirwa, uye zvino pfungwa dzinouya mumusoro mako: "Chii chakaipa neicho?" Handiti maive vanhu vepedyo munozivana miviri. Imwe nguva yakawanda, imwe nguva shoma - saka chii mutsauko?

Bonde nemunhu wakambodanana naye rinogona kunakidza, asi rinounza matambudziko matsva uye kusahadzika. Inofanira kudziviswa pamwe chete nemamwe marudzi ekubatana. Hazvina mhosva kuti unonakidzwa zvakadini, kana zvapera, unogona kunzwa uchivhiringidzika kana kushandiswa. Somugumisiro, pfungwa dzinogona kuoneka kana akanga aine mumwe munhu, uye pfungwa idzi dzichaisa kutya uye kufunganya mumweya. Uye zvinoreva kuti mutambo wako unogona kutanga zvakare. Wana simba mukati mako kuti uzvimise.

Chii chichabatsira kuderedza mazita

Ronga nzira yekutsigira yakakupoteredza

Kuparadza hukama, ita sekunge wabvisa tsika yakaipa. Tsvaga vanhu vepedyo vekufonera chero nguva kana ukangoerekana wanzwa kuda kutaura newawakambodanana naye. Kumbira shamwari kuti dzivhare iwe kana pakaitika dambudziko rekukurumidzira.

Usakanganwa kuzvitarisira iwe pachako

Zvakaoma kuramba wakasimba mupfungwa uye wakaunganidzwa munhu kana wakaneta mumuviri. Iva nechokwadi chokuti unowana zororo rakakwana kubasa, kuwana nguva yakawanda yokuzorora, idya zvakanaka, uye kunakidzwa nokunakidzwa. Kana iwe usingazvifadze iwe pachako, zvakanyanya kuoma kuti psyche imirire kurwiswa kwemuedzo.

Chengeta diary yekuonana

Chengetedza dhayari kuti uchengetedze kuti kakawanda sei iwe unobata naye. Nyora kuti unopindura sei kumufonera netsamba dzake, uye manzwiro aunoita paunomufonera uye kumunyorera iwe pachako. Nyora zvinoitika usati wanzwa kuda kufona. Zvibvunze mibvunzo pamberi, panguva, uye mushure mehurukuro kana email. Zvipe nguva yekufunga nezvemibvunzo iyi uye nyora pasi pfungwa dzako kuti udzitaure zviri nani:

1. Chii chakaita kuti ave nechido chekumufonera?
2. Unonzwa sei? Uri kutya, kufinhwa, kusuwa here? Unonzwa usingabatsiri kana kuti kusurukirwa here?
3. Paiva nechimwe chinhu here (pfungwa, chiyeuchidzo, mubvunzo) chakaita kuti ufunge nezvewawaimbova wako uye wakabva wada kutaura naye?
4. Chii chaunotarisira?
5. Tarisiro idzi dzakabva kupi? Ndiwo fungidziro dzako nezvechimwe chinhu chaungade kunzwa? Kana kuti zvinobva pane zvakaitika kare here? Iwe unoita zvisarudzo zvichibva pakufungidzira kana chokwadi here?
6. Uri kuedza kushandura zvakapfuura here?
7. Uri kuedza kuwana mhinduro chaiyo kubva kumunhu?
8. Iwe unoda kurerutsa marwadzo uye kurerutsa mutoro kubva mumweya?
9. Iwe unofunga kuti kutarisa kwakashata kuri nani pane kusavapo here?
10. Uri kunzwa wasiiwa here? Mudiki? Unoda kufonera ex wako kuti akuyeuchidze nezve hupenyu hwako?
11. Unofunga kuti kufona kuchakubvumira kuti udzore mararamiro aanoita pasina iwe here?
12. Unotarisira here kuti haazokwanisi kukukanganwa kana ukagara uchimuyeuchidza nezvako?
13. Sei uchingotarisa pamunhu mumwe chete?

Mushure mekuchengetedza diary, iwe uchanzwisisa kuti iwe unofanirwa kushandura chimwe chinhu muhupenyu hwako, kana zvikasadaro haugone kuzvibvisa kubva kune yako yekare.

Gadzira rondedzero yekuita

Danho rinotevera nderekufunga nezvezvauchaita kana wanzwa kuda kutaura naye. Nyora matanho aunofanira kutora usati wamunyorera. Somuenzaniso, tanga wafonera shamwari, wozoenda kumitambo yekurovedza muviri, wozofamba. Batanidza hurongwa munzvimbo inoonekera kuitira kuti ive pamberi pemeso ako panguva yaunoda kubata.

Iwe uchadzidzira kuzvidzora uye unonzwa uine chivimbo. Kusvikira iwe "wazvibudisa" kubva kune hukama hwekare, zvakaoma kugumisa kumagumo emutsara uye kutanga chitsauko chitsva muupenyu. Nekuramba uchitsvaga kutariswa neaimbove, unozonyura mumatope eshungu uye kuwedzera marwadzo. Kuvaka hupenyu hutsva hune chinangwa kunoenderana nekusiyana.