Pane imwe nguva, wakatsva nechishuwo uye waisabvuma kuti zuva richasvika raungada kurara nebhuku pane kurara nemumwe wako waunoda. Vanoongorora vanoti kudzikira kwechido chevakadzi pabonde kuri kuita denda. Tinoda Viagra yechikadzi here kana kuti tinofanira kungotarisa dambudziko kubva kune rimwe divi?
Ekaterina ane makore makumi mana nemaviri, mumwe wake Artem ane makore makumi mana nemashanu, vanga vari pamwe chete kwemakore matanhatu. Aigara achizviona seanofarira hunhu, aive nehukama hwakasununguka, uye vamwe vadikani, kunze kwaArtem. Mumakore ekutanga, hupenyu hwavo hwepabonde hwaive hwakanyanya, asi ikozvino, Ekaterina anobvuma, "zvakaita senge switch yashandurwa."
Vachiri kudanana, asi pakati pepabonde uye kuzorora manheru kugeza nebhuku rakanaka, iye achasarudza yekupedzisira pasina kuzeza. “Artyom anombogumbuka nazvo, asi ndinonzwa kuneta zvekuti ndinoda kuchema,” anodaro.
Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Dr. Laurie Mintz, purofesa wepfungwa paYunivhesiti yeFlorida, muNzira yeBonde Inofadza kuMukadzi Akaneta, anonyora matanho mashanu ekubatsira kumutsazve chido: pfungwa, kukurukurirana, nguva, kubata, kufambidzana.
Chinonyanya kukosha, maererano naye, yekutanga - "pfungwa." Kana tikatora basa rekuzvifadza isu pachedu, tinokwanisa kuuya nenzira yekubuda mumukanwa wepabonde.
Psychologies: Mubvunzo wepamutemo ndewekuti nei bhuku racho riri revakadzi chete? Varume havanetse nekushuvira bonde here?
Lori Mintz: Ndinofunga inyaya yebiology. Vakadzi vane testosterone shoma pane varume, uye zvakare inokonzera kusimba kwechishuwo. Kana munhu akaneta kana kuora mwoyo, testosterone shoma inogadzirwa, uye izvi zvinokanganisa vakadzi zvakanyanya. Mukuwedzera, ivo vanonyanya kutarisana kune iyo inonzi "erotic plasticity": kunze kwekunetseka kunobata vakadzi kakawanda.
Zvatinotarisira zvine basawo here? Kureva kuti vakadzi vanongozvisimbisa kuti havachada bonde? Kana kuti havamufariri kupfuura varume?
Vakawanda vanotya kubvuma kukosha kwekuita zvepabonde. Imwe nhema ndeyokuti zvepabonde zvinofanira kuva chimwe chinhu chiri nyore uye chakasikwa, uye tinofanira kugara takagadzirira. Nokuti kana uchiri mudiki, ndozvazvinoita. Uye kana zviri nyore zvinopera nezera, tinotenda kuti zvepabonde hazvichakoshi.
Unoda bonde. Iyi haisi iyo bargaining chip yekutengeserana nemumwe wako. Ngachiunze mufaro
Zvechokwadi, iyi haisi mvura kana chikafu, unogona kurarama usina. Asi iwe uri kusiya huwandu hukuru hwekunakidzwa kwemanzwiro uye kwemuviri.
Imwe dzidziso yakakurumbira ndeyokuti vakadzi vakawanda vanoshanda zvakapfurikidza nokunyima mudiwa wavo bonde. Saka vanomuranga nekusabatsira pamba.
Hongu, zvinowanzoitika - vakadzi vanotsamwira varume nekuda kwekusaita kwavo. Vanogona kunzwisiswa. Asi kana ukashandisa zvepabonde sechirango kana mubayiro, unogona kukanganwa kuti zvinofanira kuunza mufaro. Unoda bonde. Iyi haisi iyo bargaining chip yekutengeserana nemumwe wako. Ngachiunze mufaro. Tinofanira kuzviyeuchidza izvi.
Kutangira papi?
Isa pfungwa dzako pachishuwo. Funga nezvake zvose masikati uye panguva yepabonde. Ita "bonde maminetsi mashanu" zuva nezuva: zorora kubva pane zvaunoita uye rangarira bonde rakanakisa rawakaita. Semuyenzaniso, wakasangana nemweya unofemesa pfungwa kana kuita rudo munzvimbo isina kujairika. Unogona kufungidzira imwe fungidziro inofadza zvikuru. Panguva imwecheteyo, ita maekisesaizi eKegel: simbisa uye zorodza tsandanyama dzemukadzi.
Pane fungidziro dzipi nedzipi dzinokutadzisa kufara pabonde?
Vanhu vazhinji vanofunga kuti nezera hapana chinofanira kuchinja muhupenyu hwavo hwepabonde. Muchokwadi, nekufamba kwemakore, iwe unofanirwa kudzidza zvakare hupombwe hwako, unzwisise kuti hunoenderana sei nemararamiro ako azvino. Zvichida chido chichauya kwete kare, asi kare panguva yepabonde.
Saka iwe unopembedza "bonde pabasa"? Ikoku kungava chaizvoizvo chigadzikiso kuchinetso chechishuvo here?
Ndezvehukama. Kana mukadzi achiziva kuti chido chinowanzouya mushure mekuziva sarudzo yekuita zvepabonde, zvinoita sezvakanaka kwaari. Haazofungi kuti pane chakaipa naye, asi anongonakidzwa nebonde. Ipapo harisisiri basa, asi varaidzo. Asi kana iwe uchifunga: "Saka, nhasi iChitatu, tinoyambuka bonde, ini ndinogona pakupedzisira kurara zvakakwana," iri ibasa.
Pfungwa huru yebhuku rako ndeyekuti mukadzi anogona kudzora chishuwo chake pachake. Asi mumwe wake haapindi here mukuita izvi?
Kazhinji, mudiwa anorega kutanga bonde kana akaona kuti mukadzi ari kurasikirwa nechido. Kungoti haadi kurambwa. Asi kana mukadzi akava muvambi pachake, uku ndiko kubudirira kukuru. Kutarisira uye kuronga kunogona kunakidza zvikuru paunorega kuita zvepabonde basa.