Varume vasingadi bonde

Sexologists uye psychotherapists vari kuwedzera kunzwa kubva kuvarume zvichemo pamusoro pekushaikwa kwechido. "Pane vakawanda vechiduku zvikuru pakati pavo, vasati vatombosvika makumi matatu," anodaro chiremba wepfungwa dzemhuri Inna Shifanova. "Havana matambudziko emuviri, asi zvakare havana shungu: havana hanya nemumwe munhu kana chero mudiwa zvachose." Kudzikira kwekuda bonde uku kunobvepi, varume vasingadi bonde vanobvepi?

Kudzvinyirirwa chido

“Ndichinzwa ndichikwezvwa nomukadzi, ndinofanoona dambudziko,” anobvuma kudaro Mikhail ane makore 43 okukura. “Chandinonyanya kutya kutadza kuzvidzora. Izvi zvakamboitika, uye pese pandaikanganisa zvaindidya zvakanyanya. Chishuvo chekudzivisa migumisiro isingadikanwi, yakadai sekutsamira kune wawakaroorana naye, kurasikirwa kwekusununguka, njodzi yekuve munhu akabatwa nemanzwiro ekunyengera («hapazovi nebonde kusvikira ndawana chipo») - zvose izvi zvinogona kumanikidza munhu kuramba hukama hwepedyo. hukama. Izvi hazvirevi kuti murume haana chido chepabonde.

"Inonyangarika chete nekukanganiswa kwehomoni yakakomba," inosimbisa nyanzvi yezvepabonde Yuri Prokopenko. "Zvisinei, kukwezva kunogona kudzvinyirirwa." Kusiyana nemhuka, vanhu vanokwanisa kudzora manzwiro avo. Nokudaro, tinogona kusarudza kusiya zvinofadza zvenyama muzita repfungwa.

“Vaya vakarerwa nemafungiro okuomesa musoro vangaona zvepabonde sechimwe chinhu chinotyisidzira, “chakaipa,” anowedzera kudaro nyanzvi yezvepabonde Irina Panyukova. "Uye ipapo munhu akadaro anozoongorora kuzvidzora kwakakwana kana chidimbu se "zvakanaka" maitiro.

Kutya kukundikana

Dzakapera mazuva apo kunakirwa kwemurume chete kwaikosha pabonde. Nhasi, murume anoziva kuti basa rake nderekuchengeta mukadzi. Avo dzimwe nguva vanotenda kuti, pamwe chete nekodzero yekunakidzwa, vakagamuchira kodzero yekutsoropodzwa, dzimwe nguva zvakanyanya kuipa. Kutaura kwakadaro kunogona kuuraya kuchiva kwomurume. “Kutsoropodza pabonde kunoiswa mundangariro dzomurume zvisingadzimiki, achazvirangarira kwoupenyu hwake hwose,” inodaro nyanzvi yezvevatano Irina Panyukova.

“Dzimwe nguva ndinonzwa vakadzi vachigunun’una kuti: “haana kundipa kana kusvirwa,” anodaro Yuri Prokopenko, “sokunge mumwe wake anomuvanza uye haagoverani. Asi zvakakosha kuti unzwisise nenzira kwayo kuenzana kwevarume: hazvibviri kuisa mutoro wese wekunakidzwa mune vakaroorana pane mumwe chete wevadiwa. Mumwe nomumwe anofanira kudzidza kuzvitarisira, kuronga uye kutungamirira mumwe kana zvakakodzera.”

Taura zvinokosheswa nevakadzi

Dzvinyiriro dzenzanga dzakavanzwa ndidzo dzinokonzerawo kuderera kwechishuvo chechirume, anodaro muongorori wepfungwa Helen Vecchiali.

“Sangano rinosimudzira hunhu hwechikadzi uye “hukadzi”: hunyoro, kubvumirana, chido chekukurukura zvese … zvaanotaura. "Varume vanofanirwa kukudziridza hunhu uhu mavari - sekunge zvese" zvakanaka" muvakadzi, uye zvese hazvina kunaka muvarume! Zviri nyore here kuramba uri murume kana icho chinoumba urume chichionekwa sechikasharara, hasha, hutsinye? Nzira yekutaura sei chido mumashoko asinganzwisisike kune mukurukuri? Uye shure kwezvose, vakadzi havabatsiri kubva pakuderedzwa kwakadaro kwemaitiro evarume.

“Vanofanira kuyemura murume kuti vamude,” anoenderera mberi achidaro muongorori wepfungwa. Uye dzinoda kudiwa. Zvinoitika kuti vakadzi vanorasikirwa nemativi maviri: vanogara nevarume vasingachayemurwi uye vasingachavadi.

Kukanganisa kwemuoni

Dzimwe nguva mhedziso yokuti chido chaenda inoitwa nemumwe kana vose vari vaviri, kwete pamusana pechokwadi, asi pachikonzero chekufungidzira pamusoro pekuti "zvinofanira kuva." "Kwegore, ini neshamwari yangu taisangana kamwe chete pasvondo, uye ndaingonzwa kurumbidzwa kwakanyanya kubva kwaari," Pavel, makumi matatu nemana, anogovera nyaya yake. “Zvisinei, nokukurumidza patakatanga kugara tose, ndakanzwa kusagutsikana kwake kwaikura uye ndaisagona kunzwisisa zvikonzero kutozosvikira abvunza zvakajeka chikonzero nei takava nevatano duku kudaro. Asi zvakanga zvisiri zvishoma kupfuura kare! Zvakazoitika kuti aitarisira kuti pakugara pamwe chete, manheru ega ega aizova neshungu sepamisangano mipfupi. Ndisingazivi, ndakamuodza mwoyo uye ndakarwadziwa zvikuru.”

"Pfungwa yekuti murume anoda bonde nguva dzese uye akarigadzirira chero nguva, sezvaanoda, uye nemunhu wese, inoshanduka kuita ngano kana manyepo zvichibva pakuti izvo zvinotorwa semukuru. kutonga. Nemasikirwo, varume vane zvido zvakasiyana zvepabonde, - anoenderera mberi Yuri Prokopenko. - Munguva yekuwira murudo, inowedzera, asi inodzokera kune yakajairwa nhanho. Uye kuedza kuwedzera kuita zvepabonde kuzere nezvinetso zvehutano, zvakadai sematambudziko emwoyo. Zvakakoshawo kuyeuka kuti chido chepabonde chinodzikira nezera, uye kwete kukumbira kubva kwauri kana mudiwa wako "zvinyorwa" zvekare.

Zvinonyadzisira ndizvo zvine mhosva here?

Maonero enyanzvi anosiyana pakuwanikwa kwezvinonyadzisira uye zvigadzirwa zveerotic zvinokanganisa chishuwo chemurume. Nyanzvi yezvepfungwa Jacques Aren anodavira kuti “kune kumwe kuguta kwepabonde kunozadza zvinhu zvose zvakapoteredza. Asi chido chinogara chichipedzwa nekushayiwa zvatinoshuva. Panguva imwecheteyo, anosimbisa kuti kuchizvarwa chechidiki, kushayikwa kwechido hazvirevi kusavapo kwehukama hwepabonde: hukama uhwu hunongobvisa chikamu chepfungwa, kuva "technical".

Uye Yuri Prokopenko anotenda kuti zvinonyadzisira hazvideredzi chishuvo: «Chido chepabonde chinofananidzwa nenzara: haigoni kupedzwa nekuona vamwe vachidya." Zvisinei, mukuona kwake, tsika yokuona zvinonyadzisira inogona kukanganisa mwero wokugutsikana: “Vadi vemavhidhiyo vangashaya simba rokuona, nokuti panguva yokuita zvepabonde chaiyo hatitaridziki sezvatinonzwa, kunzwa, kuita.” Iwe unogona kugadzirisa kushayikwa uku nerubatsiro rwezvionioni, uye vamwe vakaroorana vanoshandisa midziyo yemavhidhiyo kuti vazvitarise ivo pachavo kubva padivi, vachinzwa sechikwata chekugadzira chefirimu ravo rezvikara.

Tarisa mahormone

Muchiitiko chekurasikirwa nechido, varume vanopfuura makumi mashanu vanofanira kuonana navanachiremba, andrologist Ronald Virag anopa mazano. Kukwezva kunoenderana nemazinga e testosterone. Izvo zviri muropa zvinobva pa50 kusvika ku3 nanograms pa millilita. Kana ikawira pasi pezinga iri, pane kuderera kwechido. Zvimwe zvipenyu zvehupenyu zvinoitawo basa, kunyanya mahomoni epituitary uye hypothalamus, pamwe neurotransmitters (dopamines, endorphins, oxytocin). Mukuwedzera, mamwe mishonga inodzvinyirira kugadzirwa kwe testosterone. Mumamiriro ezvinhu akadaro, mahomoni anogona kunyorwa.

Yuri Prokopenko anotsanangura kuti: “Uye zvakadaro, kuti kuderera kwechido kukonzereswe chaizvo nezvikonzero zvehomoni, kunofanira kunge kwakakomba (semuenzaniso, kukanda (kusanganisira doro). kushanduka kwavo kwechisikigo mune ramangwana hazvikonzere libido Zvikonzero zvekudzikira kwechido ndezvepfungwa.

Kuwedzeredza kumanikidza

"Kana murume akatendeukira kwandiri nezvekushaikwa kwechido, zvinowanzoitika kuti ane matambudziko ... kubasa," anodaro Inna Shifanova. "Achirasikirwa nekuvimba nehunyanzvi hwehunyanzvi, anotanga kusahadzika humwe hunyanzvi hwake." Chido chebonde chingori chikamu chimwe che libido yedu uye chishuwo mune zvese. Kusavapo kwake kunogona kunyorwa mumamiriro ekuora mwoyo: murume haachadi kuita zvepabonde, asi haachadi chimwe chinhu.

Jacques Aren anorondedzera “chirwere chemurume akaneta” achiti: “Ane basa rakawanda, vana vanomunetesa, zvinetso zvinobatanidzwa ne“kupfeka nokubvaruka” kwoupenyu hweroorano, anotya kuchembera uye kuderera kwesimba, uye hazvisi nyore kumupa simba idzva. maererano nechido chako." Ramba kushoropodzwa, tsigiro — ndizvo zvingaitwa nemukadzi. Zvisinei, zvakakosha kukurukura matambudziko emumwe wake nekuchenjerera, kudzivirira kuzviremekedza kwake uye kuyeuka kuti "kutaura pamusoro penyaya dzinonetsa kunogona kukonzera kunetseka uye kufunganya. Manzwiro aya anotungamirira kure nezvido zvemuviri, "inosimbisa Irina Panyukova. Saka usatanga kurukurirano yakadaro musati mava noukama hwepedyo hwomuviri.

Nhanho yakanangana?

Nzira yekuyananisa sei zvishuwo zvevakadzi nevarume? “Kutama,” anopindura kudaro Helen Vecchiali, “kugamuchira idi rokuti zvinhu zvachinja. Tiri kurarama munguva yekuchinja kwemabasa, uye tanyanya kunonoka kuzvidemba munguva dzemadzitateguru. Yasvika nguva yekuti vakadzi varegedze kuda zvese kubva kuvarume panguva imwe chete. Uye zvichave zvinobatsira kuti varume vaunganidze: vakadzi vakachinja, uye nhasi vanoziva zvavanoda. Nenzira iyi, varume vanofanira kutora muenzaniso kubva kwavari uye vasimbise chido chavo.