Mukati
Lilia haana kusiya Ophélie kubva paakadzokera kuchikamu chidiki " nekuti ivo vese vanoda kuruka madhirezi, mapuzzle uye inopisa chokoreti! ”. Gaspard naThéo vafunga kusangana pakupera kwemasikati panhandare kuti vatambe uye vagovane chikafu chavo. “ Nokuti akanga ari iye, nokuti ndakanga ndirini! Uyu mutsara wakanaka kubva kuMontaigne achitaura nezvehushamwari hwake hukuru hweLa Boétie unoshandawo kune hushamwari hunogadzirwa nevadiki pakati pavo. Ehe hushamwari hwemwana hunozvarwa makore anenge matatu, ivhu ravachakura mariri rakagadzirirwa zvakanaka kare, nokuti zvinhu zvose zvinotanga kubva panguva dzekutanga dzehupenyu hwemwana nekuda kwekubatana kwaanoita nevakuru vanomuchengeta, vabereki, vachengeti vevana, vakuru - vabereki ... Sekiriniki yepfungwa. Daniel Coum anotsanangura kuti: “Munguva yekutsinhana kwezwi, mitambo, vanobatika, kutarisa, kutarisirwa, mwana anounganidza mundangariro dzake dzemuviri uye dzepfungwa zviitiko zvekutaurirana izvo zvinogadzirisa hukama hwake nevamwe. Kana hukama uhwu huchifadza uye huchimupa kugutsikana, achahutsvaga. Kana zviitiko izvi zvisina kunaka uye zvichimukonzera kusagadzikana, kushushikana kana kuzvidya mwoyo, iye anozodzivirira kuchinjana, iye achange asina kushamwaridzana uye kushoma kuda kusvika kune vamwe.“. Ndosaka mazwi, nziyo dzemimhanzi, kumbundirana kwakakosha kumwana wako. Munenge mwedzi 8-10, mucheche anozoziva ego uye neasiri ini, anonzwisisa kuti mumwe, kunyanya amai vake, vanogona kuzopotsa, anosangana nezvinonzi shrinks "Mwedzi 8 kunetseka”. Uye kuti akunde kurwadziwa uku kwekuparadzana, anotanga kufungidzira mudiwa asipo mumusoro wake, kuumba mufananidzo wepfungwa waro. Mushure megore rokutanga, mwana akaiswa pedyo nemumwe mwana achafarira kwaari, edza kumubata nemaoko ake, zvichida kumuruma kuratidza kuti anoda mumwe uye kuti haadi. ngaaende hake.
Hukama pakati pevana: yekutanga muscular exchanges
Kuda kuziva kwake kunoperekedzwa nehutsinye nekuti haasati ave nekwaniso yekutadza kubata "chinhu chaanofarira". Kusaidzira, kudzvova, kudhonza bvudzi rako… Kuratidzira “kwechisimba” uku kuedza kupinda muhukama, kumutsa manzwiro.
Kubva kumwedzi ye18, anova psychomotor anozvimiririra uye anokwanisa kurarama kuparadzana nekuchengetedzeka kwakakwana kuti akwanise kutanga kuda mumwe. Chokutanga pane zvose, achifadzwa nemhando iyi yezviviri zvake, mwana anomuona, anomutarisa achitamba, anokopa mafambiro ake. Kutamba padivi nepadivi kunobvumira munhu wese kupfumisa nekuvandudza mutambo, nekubata mazano matsva nekutarisa kwenguva pfupi muvakidzani. Ndiko kutanga chaiko kwemitambo pakati pevana necronyism. Izwi remunhu mukuru rakakosha kuperekedza izvi kuedza kwekutanga pane dzimwe nguva zvakanyanya muscular kuonana, zvinofanirwa kutsanangura, kutumidza mumwe nemumwe nezita rake uye kutsanangura kuti mumwe anoda kutamba naye, asi haazive maitiro ekuita. muudze. Paunenge usati wava nemakore maviri, kubaya chitoyi chemukomana wako inzira inowanzomuratidza kumufarira kwaunoita maari. TChero bedzi pasina ngozi, zviri nani kuti munhu mukuru aone ari kure uye regai "muiti wechisimba" uye "ane hasha" aende kumagumo ekutsinhana, nokuti iyi ndiyo nzira iyo vose vachadzidza kutora chimwe chikamu, kuzvisimbisa, kuisa miganhu yayo, kutaurirana, muchidimbu, kushamwaridzana. . Isu tinocherekedza zvakare kuti nguva yedambudziko kazhinji inotungamira mukugadziriswa. Kutsinhana kwekutanga kunozvarwa zvega, nekukurumidza kuwedzera musimba asi kwekupedzisira zvishoma. Iyi haisi mitambo yakadzama, ine mitemo, mavambo nemagumo. Uku kusangana kwakashata kuburikidza nazvo, zvishoma nezvishoma, mwana wega wega achawana mufaro pamberi pevezera rake. Asi pamakore maviri ezera, nguva dzekutarisisa kune imwe dzinoramba dzichipfuura. Mushure mechikamu chekuseka kana kurwisana, pasina yambiro, vose vanoenda kunotamba vari voga, mumwe nomumwe achirota ari mupupo rake. Sokutaura kunoita Daniel Coum: “ Mwana anofanira kunzwa akachengeteka zvakakwana kuti ave nehukama hune runyararo, hukama hwakanaka, hune rugare uye hwakanyarara nemumwe, kwete kumutora sekutyisidzira. Vana vanonyanya kuzvidya mwoyo pamusoro pekuparadzana vachaita zvehasha kune mumwe kuti vamuchengete uye vachasarudza kuparadza mumwe pane kumurasikirwa. Izvi ndizvo zvinopa maitiro evakuru ekufurira. »
Kubva pamakore maviri, vana vachawana kunakidzwa kwe "kutamba pamwechete". Kugona mutauro kunovabvumira kunatsa nzira yavo yekuyanana nevamwe. Panzvimbo pokumusundidzira kana kuti kumudhonza neruoko, zvino vanoti: “Uya! “. Kunyanya kuvandudzwa kwemutauro, kudyidzana kunowedzera kune imwe nzira yekutamba, uko kugadzira, fungidziro uye "kunyepedzera" zvinotora nzvimbo yakawanda uye yakawanda.
2-3 makore: nguva yehushamwari chaihwo muvana
Kana mwana ane mwedzi gumi nemasere asvika mukireshi mangwanani, anoenda kune mukuru anomumiririra ... Paanenge ane makore 2-3, anonanga kushamwari dzake, kunyange kana, chokwadika, kuvapo kwomunhu mukuru nguva dzose kuri hwaro hwechengeteko, icho chinonyanya kukosha kwaari, ndiyo mitambo yaachaita nevezera rake. Ayambuka chinhambwe! Kunyanya kukura kwemwana, kuziva kwake uye kwemumwe kunonatswa, zviri nani kusiyanisa mwana wega wega uye ushamwari hunowedzera kuhushamwari hwechokwadi.
Hushamwari, hwechokwadi, huripo muvana vanenge makore matatu. Kupinda mukireshi inguva yakakosha, apo vana vechikoro vanodzidza kutamba nekuimba, asi pamusoro pezvose kushamwaridzana. Mwana wega wega anotanga kutsvaga kuve anodiwa nemudzidzisi, asi sezvo izvi zvisingaite, anotendeukira kushamwari dzake nevasikana, uye anoona vana vaviri kana vatatu vaanofarira kutamba navo. Hushamwari hwekutanga hunoumbwa uye kurambwa kwekutanga kwerudzi " Iye, handimude, handidi zvekutamba naye! ” zvakare. Dzimwe nguva shamwari dzinozvisarudzira mumufananidzo wegirazi, zvichienderana nekufanana kwavo.
Dzimwe nguva, kupindirana kwakanyanyisa ndiko kunokwezva, anonyara neanoshamisira, muroti anotapira uye anoenda, anotaurisa uye akachenjera kwazvo… Mibatanidzwa iyi inokatyamadza inobvumira kuvhura maonero uye vabereki vanofanira kubvuma sarudzo dzeushamwari dzevavo. vana, kwete kusarudza kuti ndiani mukomana akakodzera kana musikana akakodzera nekuti vane chimiro chakakodzera uye chitarisiko chakanaka! Rusununguko rwemwana mukirasi runopesana nezvinodiwa nemhuri yake, pasina rusaruro, uye ndizvo chaizvo zvaari kufarira!
Kubva pamakore mana kusvika ku4, ushamwari hunopfuma uye hwakapfuma. Vana vanoita hurukuro dzavo dzekutanga neshamwari. Vanopanana zvakavanzika, vanogovana zvavanofunga nezverudo, vabereki, rufu… Mitambo yacho inopfumiswa nezvinoitika zvakawanda! Pakati pemakore mashanu kusvika matanhatu, mitambo yekunyepedzera inobvumira vasikana nevakomana kuti vaone hukama hwemagariro umo vachatora chikamu gare gare. Isu tinotamba tenzikadzi, amai / baba, chiremba, muchinda uye muchinda, magamba makuru, kuenda kubasa ... Shamwari dzinova pfungwa dzinokosha dzekutaura uye kurudziro. Vanobatsira kupinda munzvimbo dzausingatyi kuyambuka pasina ivo, kubvumira kusiya korokoni yevabereki, kuzvisunungura uye kuwana imwe. Ndimo mune iyi seri uye mberi pakati pemusha nekunze, zvinyorwa zvemhuri neizvo zvevezera, apo mwana mumwe nomumwe anovaka pfungwa dzake amene, chisiko chake amene uye kuzivikanwa kwake amene. Pazera iri, vadiki vanoshanda zvakanyanya pamwe chete kupfuura mumapoka nekuti zvinonetsa kuti vaumbe hukama chaihwo nevanhu vakati wandei. Vanowanzoita ushamwari nevana vemunhurume mumwe chete nekuti shamwari yepamoyo (shamwari yepamoyo) inouya kuzosimbisa hunhu hwavo hwepabonde. Nokudaro kukosha kwekaviri, kwealter ego, uyo wandinogona kuvimba naye, asingadzokorori zvakavanzika, anopa mabasa uye ndiani ane simba. Zvinokurudzira zvikuru kumwana anogara achinzwa ari panjodzi munyika yevanhu vakuru.
Gadzira njere dzako dzehukama
Painokura, ndipo painodawo kutamba nevamwe, uye kuva neshamwari nevasikana. Kuziva kuvaka hukama nevamwe, vana kana vakuru, ndiko kunonzi shrinks kunzi relational intelligence kana social intelligence. Uchenjeri hworudzi urwu, uhwo hunokosha pakugara zvakanaka nevamwe uye kuti ubudirire kana wakura, hunotsamira paunhu hwakasiyana-siyana hwaunogona kukurudzira. Kutanga, kukwanisa kuona uye kunzwisisa manzwiro evamwe uye kuasiyanisa neako pachako. Kuti ubatsire mwana wako kugadzira QS yake (social quotient), mudzidzise kududzira zviito zvevamwe. Kurukura naye kazhinji, mukurudzire kuteerera uye kubvunza mibvunzo yakakodzera, kusiyanisa maitiro uye mitongo yevamwe, kubvuma kuti zvakasiyana neyake. Kana mwana akadai uye akadai akamuseka, mutsanangurire kuti nei vamwe vanhu vachiseka vamwe, nekuti vanotya kusekwa, nekuti havana chokwadi nezvavo…
Mudzidzisewo kuva anoshivirira, kumbosendeka kugutsikana kwake panzvimbo pokuda “zvose izvozvi”! Vana vanoziva kumirira uye vasingaregi kuzvishuvo zvavo vane unyanzvi munzanga uye vanozvivimba zvikuru kupfuura vamwe. Kana mwana akadaro uye akadaro achida kumutorera chitoyi chake, muudze kuti achinje chimwe chake pane kuramba zvachose uye kuisa pangozi kurwa. Kuchinjana ndiyo nzira yakanakisisa yekuita shamwari. Kune rimwe divi, usaite kuti akweretese matoyi ake, govera uye uve akanaka kune vamwe nekuti unofunga kuti zvakanaka! Achiri mudiki zvakanyanya kuti anzwisise! Kuziva nemumwe uye kuve nekugona kuita zvakanaka, zvinodikanwa kuve wakakwana wega kuti usatya kubatwa nemumwe. Iwe unofanirwa kumirira kusvika iyo NO nguva yapfuura usati wakumbira mwana kuti akweretese matoyi ake, zvikasadaro anonzwa sekunge ari kurasikirwa nechikamu chake. Mwana wacho haasi munhu mukuru, uye hazvina kunaka kumanikidzira unhu hwakanaka hwatisingawanzozviremekedza!
Sokutsanangura kunoita Daniel Coum: “ Pamberi pemakore 3-4, kuchengetedzwa kwekutanga kwemwana kwakavakirwa pane pfungwa yokuti iye akasiyana mumaziso evabereki vake, kuti iye oga anokosha. Pose paanonzi azvikanganwe nokuda kwokubetserwa kwomumwe, anonzwa kuti haadiwi uye kuti mumwe wacho anokosha zvikuru mumeso avabereki kana kuti mudzidzisi. Maererano naye, anotambura kukuvara zvakanyanya zvakanyanya kana uyo ane zita raanokumbirwa kuti ape matoyi ake, ari mudiki kwaari. Chaanonzwisisa ndechekuti zvinofadza kuva mucheche pane kuva muhombe, izvo zvinosarudzwa nevakuru zvidiki. Nepo, zvinokatyamadza, vanhu vakuru vanomukumbira kureba vasingamuratidzi kuti kureba kune zvakwakanakira uye kodzero dzinoita kuti ade kukura. »
Dzidzo mukugovana haiisirwe nechisimba. Kana tikamanikidza mwana kuti ave nomutsa kune mumwe wacho nokukurumidza zvikuru, kana tikamuudza kuti haana kunaka kana kuti, zvakatoipisisa, kana tikamuranga, achateerera zvinorayirwa kuti afadze vabereki vake, nokuti anozviisa pasi. Altruism, kunzwira tsitsi kwechokwadi, ndiko kuti kugona kuzviisa mune imwe shangu mukufunga uye kuenderana nezvavanotarisira, hazvisi izvo. hazvigoneke pamberi pemakore 6-7, zera rechikonzero. Mwana akabatanidza maitiro evabereki, anoziva zvakanaka uye zvakaipa, uye ndiye anosarudza kuva akanaka uye kugovana.
Ushamwari muhuduku: ko kana mwana wangu asina vakomana?
Mwanasikana wako achangosvika mukirasi paunomurova nemibvunzo yokuti: “Makawana shamwari here?” Mazita avo ndivanaani? Vabereki vanoda kuti vana vavo vave nyeredzi yekireshi nemazuva ekuzvarwa kana mukomana anonyanya kufarirwa pakuzorora. Chete pano, vana vese havana kushamwaridzana nenzira imwechete, vamwe vakakomberedzwa zvakanyanya, vamwe vanonyanya kutaurwa. Panzvimbo pokuisa dzvinyiriro, kunokosha kuziva “chimiro chenzanga” chomwana wako, kuremekedza mwero wake wokukura uye hunhu hwake. Zvikasadaro, isu tinokanganisa kuve tinopesana nekugadzira blockage.
Inokosheswa zvikuru nhasi kuve yakakurumbira, asi kunewo vanotya, vanochengeteka, vanorota, vane hungwaru uye vanofarira kutamba vari voga kana vaviri vaviri. Saka manje ? Shamwari kana shamwari zvakakwana! Koka shamwari yake yepamoyo kuti azotamba pakupera kwesvondo. Kurudzira mweya wake wechikwata nekumupinza mumitambo yekunze kwechikoro (kutamba, judo, theatre, zvichingodaro), zvakakosha kubvumira vana vanonyara kurarama mumutinhimira usiri wechikoro. Mitemo yakasiyana, mapoka madiki… Mitambo yebhodhi yakanaka pakudzidza kukundwa, kuva pakati pevamwe, uye kuita kuti timu yako ikunde! Uye chenjerera maronda ekutanga eushamwari anogona kuvakuvadza chaizvo. Nekuti zera reushamwari hwechokwadi hwekutanga zvakare hwekutanga ushamwari kusuwa. Usavatora sezvisina basa, teerera zvichemo zvavo uye uvakudze. Ronga zvekudya zvekumubatsira kuita dzimwe shamwari ...