Vakaneta nekumirira muchinda pabhiza jena uye vachishuva kusangana ne "murume mumwe chete", vanoita chisarudzo chinovava uye chakaoma. The psychotherapist Fatma Bouvet de la Maisonneuve anotaura nyaya yemurwere wake.
Kwete nekuti, sekufamba kunoita rwiyo, "vanababa vabuda mufashoni," asi nekuti havavawane. Pakati pevarwere vangu, mumwe mukadzi wechidiki akarega kushandisa kudzivirira kubata pamuviri naye «humwe husiku kumira» kuti ave nepamuviri, uye mumwe akasarudza kuva nemwana pasina ruzivo rwemumwe wake asingadi kuzvipira. Vakadzi ava vane zvinhu zvakafanana: vakabudirira, vakabayira nguva dzinokosha dzehupenyu hwavo hwemagariro evanhu nekuda kwebasa, ivo vari pazera "rakakosha" apo iwe unogona kubereka.
Mutengi wangu Iris haachakwanisa kuona vakadzi vane pamuviri kunze zvakare. Kuedza kwevabereki vake kutsvaga mafambiro ehupenyu hwake hwega kwakashanduka kuve kutambudzwa. Naizvozvo, anovanzvenga uye akasangana Kisimusi oga. Sahwira wake wepamoyo paaiva mudumbu aitofanira kunwa mushonga wekurodza kuti asazoputsika paakaona mwana muchipatara. Shamwari iyi yave "yekupedzisira bastion", asi iye zvino Iris haazokwanisi kumuona zvakare.
Shungu dzekuda kuva amai dzinomudya uye kushanduka kuita chishuwo
"Vakadzi vese vakandikomberedza vane murume" - Ndinogara ndichitarisira kune chirevo ichi, chiri nyore kuramba. Ini ndinovimba nenhamba: huwandu hwevanhu vasina kuroora, kunyanya mumaguta makuru. Pane gwenga repfungwa chairo rakatipoteredza.
Isu tinonyora shamwari dzese dzaIris nemazita, tokurukura kuti ndivanaani izvozvi uye inguvai. Kune vanhu vakawanda vasina kuroora kana kuroorwa. Nekuda kweizvozvo, Iris anoona kuti kusava netariro kwake kunoreva kuzvitarisira pasi. Shungu dzekuda kuva amai dzinomudya uye kushanduka kuita chishuwo. Tinokurukura kuti akagadzirira sei kusangana “nemunhu akakodzera,” angave achikwanisa kumirira, zvaanoda. Asi pamisangano yedu imwe neimwe, ndinoona sokuti hapana chaakapedza.
Anotoda kuti ndibvume hurongwa hwaave nemwedzi yakawanda achichochonya: kuita mwana nekubata bhengi rembeu. Mwana "kubva muchitima chekukurumidza." Izvi zvichamupa, anodaro, manzwiro ekuti ave kutonga zvakare uye haachatsamira pakusangana kusingafungidzirwe nemurume. Achava mukadzi mumwe chete nevamwe, uye acharega kusurukirwa. Asi akamirira kutenderwa kwangu.
Pataifunga nezvekusunungurwa kwevakadzi, takakanganwa kufunga kuti inzvimbo ipi inopiwa kumwana
Tinowanzosangana nemamiriro ezvinhu akafanana apo sarudzo isina kujeka yakatoitwa. Hatifanire kumanikidza hunhu hwedu kune murwere, asi kumuperekedza chete. Vamwe vevandinoshanda navo mumamiriro ezvinhu akadai vanotsvaga chirema mumufananidzo wababa kana kusashanda kwemhuri munhoroondo yemurwere. Iris nevamwe vaviri havaratidzi izvi.
Saka kudikanwa kwekunyatsodzidza ichi chiitiko chiri kukura. Ndinozvipa zvinhu zviviri. Chekutanga ndechekuti pataifunga nezvekusunungurwa kwevakadzi, takakanganwa kufunga nezvenzvimbo ipi inopiwa kumwana: humai huchiri chipingamupinyi kubasa. Chechipiri ndiko kukura kwekuzviparadzanisa nevamwe: kusangana nemumwe wako dzimwe nguva kunofananidzwa nekuita. Varume vanogunun'unawo pamusoro peizvi, nekudaro vachiramba huchenjeri hwakajairika hwekuti vanowanzodzivisa kuzvipira.
Chikumbiro chaIris cherubatsiro, chisarudzo chake chine hukasha, chinondimanikidza kuti ndimudzivirire pakuzvibata uye kusekwa kwaachaita. Asi ini ndinoona mhedzisiro ichave yakaoma - kwaari uye kune vaviri vevamwe varwere vangu vasingade kuita mwana pasina murume, asi vari padyo nazvo.