Kune vamwe vanhu, maitiro otomatiki ekufunga anokanganiswa, kana kuti, imwe nzira yekuwedzera inovhurwa yakafanana nayo, uye munhu anoerekana atarisa chokwadi chakapoteredza uye anotanga kuzvibvunza kuti: "Ndiri chokwadi here? Ndinonzwisisa zviri kuitika here? Zvose zvakandipoteredza ndezvekare here? Kwandiri? Ndini ani? Uye ndiwe ani?" Uye anotanga - nechido, chido, chido uye kushingaira - anotanga kufunga.
Chii chinoshandura ichi "kamwe kamwe" chinotanga musoro, unotanga kufunga? Regai? Happenes. Uye zvinoitika kuti haina kutanga ... Kana, pamwe, haisi "chii" chinotangwa, asi "ndiani"? Uye zvino ndiani uyu - ndiani?
Zvirinani kune vamwe vanhu, izvi zvinoshanduka kana vatanga kubata nechimwe chinhu ivo pachavo, zvakanyanya kupfuura zvese - vanotsauswa kubva kwavari uye vanochinja pfungwa dzavo kune vanhu vakavapoteredza.
NV inoudza Zhutikova:
Kune rudzi rwekubatsira kwepfungwa, kwete nyore, asi kuonga, iyo yakanangana nekuvandudza zvishoma kunyoresa kutonga. Izvi zvinobatsira mukukura kwekuzvinzwisisa uye kutarisa kune vamwe vanhu, uye zvinogona kubatsira mukugadzirisazve zvinangwa zvemaitiro. Mukati mebasa iri, kuzvidzora uye utachiona hwomudzimu zvinomutswa.
Ino haisi nguva yekutanga Vera K. auya kwatiri: akatoedza kuzviuraya kashanu. Apa akadya mapiritsi ekukotsisa akazara chitsama, ndokuuya naye kwatiri mushure mekugara kwenguva refu mukamuri yevanorwara zvakanyanya. Chiremba wepfungwa akamutumira kuna chiremba wepfungwa kuti aongorore hunhu hwake: kana Vera aine hutano hwepfungwa, saka nei ari kuedza kuzviuraya? (Kechishanu!)
Kutenda ane makore makumi maviri nemashanu. Akapedza chikoro chepedagogical uye anoshanda semudzidzisi mukireshi. Vana vaviri. Akarambana nemurume wake. Chitarisiko chake chinogona kunge chiri shanje yemutambi wemufirimu: chivakwa chakanaka, chimiro chakanaka, maziso makuru ... Chete iye zvino haana kuchena neimwe nzira. Mucherechedzo wehutsvina unobva mubvudzi rakasakara, kubva pameso akapendwa zvisina hanya, kubva pahembe rehembe rakabvaruka pamusono.
Ndinozviona semufananidzo. Hazvimunetsi zvachose. Anogara chinyararire uye asingapfakanyiki anotarisa kumwe kusina chinhu. Pose yake yese inoburitsa kudzikama kwekusava nehanya. Muchitarisiko - hapana fungidziro yeinenge diki yepfungwa! Zvakaratidzwa kupenga…
Ini ndinomukwevera muhurukuro zvishoma nezvishoma, ndichikunda inertia yerunyararo rwake rusina kufunga. Kune zvikonzero zvakawanda zvekusangana: iye mukadzi, amai, mwanasikana wevabereki vake, mudzidzisi - unogona kuwana chimwe chinhu chekutaura nezvazvo. Anongopindura—nenguva pfupi, zvakarongwa, achinyemwerera. Nenzira imwecheteyo, anotaura nezvekumedza kwaakaita mapiritsi. Zvinoitika kuti iye anogara asingafungi zvachose anopindura kune zvese zvisingamufadzi: angave anokurumidza kupopotera mutadzi kuti atize kubva kwaari, kana, kana mutadzi "akatora", izvo zvinoitika zvishoma, anobata vana. , anozviendesa kuna amai vake, ozvivharira uye… anoedza kurara zvachose.
Ndingaita sei kuti ndimutse maari kanenge kunzwa kwakanaka, kuitira kuti pave nechimwe chinhu chinobatirira kupfungwa? Ndinokumbira manzwiro ake aamai, ndinobvunza nezvevanasikana vake. Chiso chake chinobva chatanga kudziya. Zvinoratidza kuti akaendesa vanasikana vake kuna mai vake kuti asavakuvadza, kwete kuvatyisidzira.
“Wakambofunga here nezvezvingadai zvakaitika kwavari dai usina kuponeswa?”
Aiwa, haana kumbofunga nezvazvo.
“Zvakanga zvakandiomera zvekuti hapana chandaifunga.
Ini ndinoedza kumukurudzira kune imwe nyaya inonyatso kuburitsa zviito zvake zvese panguva yehupfu, pfungwa dzake dzese, mifananidzo, manzwiro, mamiriro ese apfuura. Panguva imwecheteyo, ndinomuswededza mufananidzo wehunherera hwevacheche vake (vanasikana 3 ne2 makore), ndinomuunza misodzi. Iye anovada, asi haana kumbonetseka kufunga nezveramangwana ravo!
Saka, kusava nehanya, mhinduro yemanzwiro chete kune dambudziko repfungwa uye kuisiya (kunyangwe kusvika pakufa, kana kungosiya), kushayikwa kwemweya uye kusafunga - izvi ndizvo zvikonzero zvekuedzazve kuzviuraya kwaVera.
Ndichimurega aende kubazi, ndinomuraira kuti azvione, rangarira nekundiudza kuti ndeupi wevakadzi vemuwadhi yake anoshamwaridzana nani, chii chinovabatanidza. Ndeupi wemanesi nemanesi anomufadza uye kupfuura, uye ndiani mudiki uye, zvakare, pane. Mumaekisesaizi akadai, tinokudziridza kugona kwake kuona nekugadzirisa mundangariro dzake pfungwa, mifananidzo, maitiro panguva yezviitiko nevanhu vasingamufadze. Kutenda kunoramba kuchirarama. Anofarira. Uye paakakwanisa kuzvikurudzira - nekuziva! - akapihwa manzwiro emuviri, kubva pakuremerwa kusvika pakuremerwa, aitenda mukugona kugona kudzora nyika yemanzwiro ake.
Iye zvino akagamuchira mabasa emhando iyi: mumamiriro ezvinhu anokonzera kukakavara nemukoti ane shungu, kuti aite shanduko yakadaro zvokuti "muchembere anogunun'una" aizogutsikana naVera, kureva Vera anofanira kugona mamiriro acho ezvinhu kuitira kuti avandudze mamiriro ake emanzwiro. uye mhedzisiro yake. Nokushamisika kwakadini kwaakaita achimhanya kwandiri kuzondiudza kuti: “Zvakashanda!”
- Zvakaitika! Akandiudza. “Dhadha, uri musikana akanaka, waona, asi sei wanga wapusa?”
Vera akauya kwandiri kunyangwe ndaburitswa. Rimwe zuva akati: “Uye ndaizorarama sei ndisina kufunga? Sekurota! Weird. Iye zvino ndinofamba, ndinonzwa, ndinonzwisisa, ndinogona kuzvidzora ... Uye ndaigona kufa ndisingazivi mararamiro anoita vanhu! Kurarama sei! Kutyisa kwakadini! Hazvichaitike zvakare. ”…
Makore apfuura. Iye zvino ndiye mumwe wevadzidzisi vanonakidza uye vanodiwa vemutauro weRussia uye mabhuku mune chimwe chezvikoro zvekumaruwa. Muzvidzidzo zvake anodzidzisa kufunga...